Pathetic Creature

All I can say is that I’m a sopping wet cat y’all

[soppingwetpatheticcat]

I very much wish to be gently held and carried off to somewhere warm and quiet while being told that everything's gonna be just fine

[soppingwetpatheticcat]

I'm going to be quite honest here, but I do experience very little empathy(I'm assuming it's mostly tied to my autism, as I have heard of people having really high or really low empathy because of it).

This isn't me going 'Oooooo, I kick puppies for fun', it's me just not having 'oh, this person is feeling X right now'.

I see someone crying, and I just kinda sit there awkwardly, and then I try to offer them things that make the crying stop (because cry usually = bad feeling = I must make bad feeling go away).

It's a very isolating experience to go anywhere and the folks just think having empathy is necessary to being a decent being. I am not Evil Scary Monster Who WILL Hurt Everyone In The General Vicinity.

'But you're so nice!' Because I choose to be nice like everyone else, even if I don't entirely understand how they feel. Me not understanding doesn't mean I don't care about you. It just means that I do not understand and will require more communication than ~telepathy~, or ~you should just know~.

Thank you very much for your time in reading this, it is very much appreciated :3

[soppingwetpatheticcat]

nononono I need to make this character suffer because I can live through them vicariously and therefore when they get comforted, I also get said comfort, because what else am I supposed to do?? Ask for said comfort?? and risk being seen as a burden?? Anyways I am now going to daydream about a big strong parental figure picking me up in their arms and tell me that everything's gonna be okay and that when I go to bed I'll feel better in the morning

[soppingwetpatheticcat]

Meowing at the chip basket up on top of the fridge as though some interdimensional human-esque beast shall feed me like the critter I am

[soppingwetpatheticcat]

Naming characters is so hard, because if said character is a man I have to pull out the 'Ted, Tod, Terry, John' roulette wheel

And then if they're a woman, I can get creative so long as I add like an 'elle' or 'a' to then on of it or something, or maybe just gow ith a flower.

But if they don't constrain themselves to the limitations of the binary, now I need to figure out what I'm doing with this 5D figure of gender so I know approximately where I'm going with the name thing. Or I just go with something like 'Meadow' or 'River' or 'Forest' or

[soppingwetpatheticcat]

Letting everyone know that me disappearing for a month, coming back for a week, and then disappearing again is gonna be REALLY common Literally just happened, expect nothing and everything all at once

[soppingwetpatheticcat]

Does anyone else see something that’s harshly worded and even though it doesn’t apply to you at all it just ruins your entire day and/or week (or longer) or is that just me

Brain sees aggression and is wounded even though it was directed in opposite direction

[soppingwetpatheticcat]

Experiencing the chest-heavy of sad and tired and it sucks scbhm,bunnigygfrdcrd

[soppingwetpatheticcat]

Screw it

I’m calling myself a tom atp

My masculinity is not human, just as I am not human

I am so delicately intertwined with my gender, just as I am my theriotype. Another word is required, has even searched for, and has been found.

[soppingwetpatheticcat]

I need a fraysexual demiromantic character (or the reverse! The reverse actually works in this situation pretty well) who thinks they’re broken and falls into a deep self-loathing because they can never feel both ways towards one person at the same time. And then they find community that helps them realize that they’re not broken, and they can live a happy life without desperately trying to find a partner. And then it’s up to them and not social norms whether or not they want a partner. And then the narrative treats both as equally valid.

(And for those who are wondering what fraysexual and demiromantic are (or frayromantic and demisexual):

Fraysexual = when one experiences sexual attraction, but it fades after a bond has been formed. May be considered the opposite of demisexual.

Demisexual = when one does not experience sexual attraction until a bond has been formed.

For romantic versions, just replace ‘sexual’ with ‘romantic’.)

[soppingwetpatheticcat]

I have so many thoughts that I wish to share but am constantly afraid of being ridiculed or rejected for them

Alas, the flowers await and I must prance in them to fulfill my sense of childish whimsy and wonder, kicking up pollen and laying among the blades of long, flowing grass.

Mother Nature shall not judge as I lay down by one of her most beautiful plants.

[soppingwetpatheticcat]

Gender is so weird for me personally. Like, yes, the xenos are my ‘base’ identity, but also I am genderfaun and the overall alignment of those xenos slides between masc, neu, and androg. But also despite using a multitude of xenogender labels to explain my identity I am not multigender— they are merely aspects of a much larger identity.

Even weirder, I experience fluctuations between *everything*, so one xenogender might be at 0% but another has gone beyond 100%. Or the anthrogender modifier is currently on vacation. Or everything has just dipped. Or everything has gone beyond 100%.

Sometimes I just wish that there was a convenient label for everything, so I could describe my exact experiences. Just rambling here though, don’t take me too seriously ofc, but sometimes I wonder if anyone else has a similar experience.

[chatdomestique]

i know i did this challenge years ago, but let’s do it again

Describe your gender without using any gendered terms.

I’ll go first:

My gender can be found in the frayed hem on baggy jeans, the holes in your favorite t-shirt, and a handful of empty monster cans rolling around on the car floor.

[soppingwetpatheticcat]

My gender is the quiet moments after sunset, as the pink hues fade from the sky and you can hear the children playing in the local park, a dozen or so yards away. The trees loom behind, branches twisted into arms that welcome and hold. The stars are peeking through the scattered clouds, the moon not too far behind. It’s late autumn here, and the bugs’ buzzing has gradually faded. It’s getting quieter, with this mug of warm coffee in your lap. You can smell a storm in the air, wind tousling your hair with a gentleness. You’ll have to go in soon.

[soppingwetpatheticcat]

“You don’t need microlabels” I do actually, because if I diverge too much from the big umbrella label’s definition I will be yelled at and the thought of someone actively criticizing me or my choice of labels is terrifying

[soppingwetpatheticcat]

I keep forgetting that I painted my nails (because I’m a GNC king ofc) and spooking myself with my hands lol

[soppingwetpatheticcat]

You know when you have a favourite character and you need to make them suffer, like

I love you but now I need to see you weep for mercy, respectfully

Please do not resist as I carefully tear you limb from limb

[soppingwetpatheticcat]

Idk y’all I might be a therian

Like, I’ve been looking at the experiences of (other?) therians and they’re similar to mine (phantom ears and tail, instincts of their theriotype) so like I might be mildly screwed here