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Keni
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ

Kiana Khansmith

Love Begins

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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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if i look back, i am lost
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oozey mess
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@soriplvzu
ほらね、もとどおりだよ。
相変わらず君がなぞる、
がらすの線。
ˢᵉᵉˀ ᴵᵗ'ˢ ᵃˡˡ ᵇᵃᶜᵏ ᵗᵒ ⁿᵒʳᵐᵃˡ
ᴬˢ ᵃˡʷᵃʸˢ, ʸᵒᵘʳ ᶠᶦⁿᵍᵉʳˢ ᶠᵒˡˡᵒʷ
ᵀʰᵉ ᵍˡᵃˢˢ ˡᶦⁿᵉˢ
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I'm still not sure if Yuki knows or not, but at least the company having told her is off the table
i kind of want her to not have known bc I don't like the idea of her accepting Hikaru as her child in spite of just having lost her actual son and never being allowed to grieve. it's gonna read like she's a mother before anything else, which is what MMR made a point against with Rie's character
The phrasing in certain parts of Yuki's (already few) lines of dialogue makes it very unlikely that she does not, at the very least, strongly suspect it. The particle choice implies an emphasis that doesn't sound casual for normal speech, and the anime went out of its way to add an original scene that highlights the same thing. At this point I would be more surprised if Yuki didn't know, considering she must spend a lot of time around 'Hikaru'. Even the girl from the bonus chapter that was crushing on the original Hikaru noticed that something was amiss* with Hikaru now.
You are making a good point, though. Unfortunately, Yuki's character traits until now have been "Hikaru's mother" and "wife who originally rejected Kouhei eleven times", and I fear it might be too late to change that. I've actually mentioned before (in a post discussing a different point that aged like milk, so I'm not going to link it) that I fear it was a mistake to make Yuki and Satoko literally faceless, and shrug off their presence in general, for most of the story. "Irrelevant parents" is a typical manga staple, but it's not like the fathers received that treatment. The fact that Yuki is nowhere to be found when 'Hikaru' is taken to the hospital after Tanaka cuts his head off, nor when he wakes up, even though Satoko and Rie are present, feels incongruous for a character who lost her husband less than five years ago, and definitely thought she had lost what remained of her family when Hikaru disappeared for a whole week in the same mountain. There is no way she was not expecting them to bring her a corpse back. Normal people simply do not survive that long in that mountain, and she knows it even if she doesn't know the specifics, which is another whole question as of now.
But, to play devil's advocate for a moment, would it help to think about it as less of a 'replacement goldfish' trope case, and more about Yuki refusing to confirm outright that Hikaru is dead, and just play pretend instead? It's ultimately a repeat of Yoshiki's initial character arc, but by doing that, Yuki is not actually embracing or accepting this Hikaru as a son either.
counterpoint:
she calls him but the late Hikaru's name, unlike every other character who knows who Hikaru is. might be to mislead us, but....
I agree with the rest of what you said though, and her being in denial is an interesting possibility!
I don't believe that to be conclusive enough. First of all, because outright telling the reader that Yuki knows her son is gone, and that his body is being used by something else, through a small word choice before the topic is formally addressed is a wasted opportunity. It's meant to be a mystery, a point of drama in the story. I would compare it to how we ended up seeing Iori's face in the anime before we ever did in the manga and how, even though many people had already connected the dots that Iori=Tanaka=Rie's son, we only had the full confirmation once the two of them met and Tanaka dropped the "Right, mom?" bomb. The manga avoided actually addressing that for a long while, doing things such as having Tanaka refer to her as "that woman" or "famous medium", and by withholding his PoV.
Second of all, because Yuki doing this is consistent with the pattern established thus far:
so what I'm getting from your examples is that people use katakana if they know exactly what he is (aside from tanaka using his full name but it felt like a special case)
meaning at that least, she doesn't know ogHikaru is dead, and at most, she knows Hikaru as Nounuki-sama 🤔
It is worth noting that in Tanaka's case, he only uses the kanji form while he's still a wild card for everyone and has yet to confirm his hypothesis. Tanaka could tell that the Illegitimate hid in the village in a different form, that 'Hikaru' was somewhat strange after overhearing him and Yoshiki at the diner through the hunting dog, and was previously aware that Yoshiki was close to the Illegitimate after coincidentally meeting him. Tanaka, however, only gets the confirmation that the supposed Hikaru is indeed the Illegitimate, and thus what the villagers have reverenced as Nounuki, once he takes more drastic action. Rie told Yoshiki she didn't know what Nounuki was when interrogated on the matter, and it's left unclear how much she knew of that topic or about Illegitimates. Unlike Tanaka, for obvious reasons, she probably was in the dark for most of it. But thanks through the power as a medium that Tanaka lacked, Rie did know that 'Hikaru' was the presence that she used to feel in the mountain and had since disappeared, and that his origin is in the other side. In short, it's really just a combination of things that leaves a lot of possibilities for Yuki's case still on the table. We have no idea whether Kouhei ever told her anything about the ritual and Nouniki, or even if she's like Toshinori and suspects his death was no mere work accident.
You have a point that we are pretty far into the story, though. I have been expecting it to be a big reveal that'd get at least one page spread, and that shrugging the topic off without any kind of PoV insight couldn't be right. But we have so few chapters left that maybe Yuki knowing her son is possessed/puppeteered by something, or even just dead, is not really going to be given much importance. Tanaka's deal with the impurities for Riko's sake was already cut short, which I found, albeit understandable, somewhat anticlimactic.
As for another character that I forgot earlier: the classmate who had a crush on the original Hikaru. She notices something is slightly different in this Hikaru, but she still uses the kanji form of his name. And in context, it makes sense: if someone goes through a traumatic near death experience, the most natural conclusion is not going to be that it is no longer that person, unless there's enough reason to believe so. MMR once stated that, most likely, Yoshiki would've chalked it all up to the head injury if only he hadn't found the corpse.
Updating this post to add two points:
1) Satou also uses the katakana version, following the same pattern with Rie and Tanaka of having never met the original, and knowing this one isn't him.
2) Yuki has pre-existing conditions that might affect her reaction. Yuki, are you okay? Blink twice for yes.
ちなみに、雪はヒカルを完璧に受け入れることが出来たわけではないので、ヒカルとあのまま一緒に長く暮らし続けていたらどこかに綻びが出ていました。
This actually makes sense with what I already in a post above:
(...) Yuki refusing to confirm outright that Hikaru is dead, and just play pretend instead? It's ultimately a repeat of Yoshiki's initial character arc, but by doing that, Yuki is not actually embracing or accepting this Hikaru as a son either.
I said before that there was no way Hikaru's mother, of all people, could be deceived. But the fact that 'Hikaru' would casually read those children books he did with Yoshiki in front of her... I've said it before, but he really did a sloppy job at pretending to be the original Hikaru.
(Tangentially related, I will always love this fanart)
The fact that, at some point, the glass would've tipped over and make Yuki unable to maintain the façade of normalcy explains her particle choice in that one phone call many chapters ago. There was something already brewing in there. Again, there's what she said in this last chapter.
本当はずっとお前から気付いとったよ Actually, I've known all along 頑張って受け入れようとしとったけど I did my best to accept it but 難しかってん It was so hard
Yuki really is going through a very similar arc to that of Yoshiki here:
I kind of understand why MMR didn't want to show it to the reader, because besides the ambiguity of the drama being better (and of course the kind of conclusion of the last chapter), Yoshiki and Yuki seem similar enough there's little need to show it. But I remain convinced that it was a mistake not to acknowledge Yuki's existence during the hospital scene: even a simple "Now that Hikaru's mother has left, let's talk" between Rie and Yoshiki would've sufficed.
This actually leads me to wonder how different things could've gone had Rie approached Yuki, being both mothers. I remember at least one instance of Rie thinking to herself about how there's a home and a family waiting for 'Hikaru' to return. That, and what would've happened had Yuki confronted 'Hikaru'. We know, thanks to one of MMR's extra drawings, that 'Hikaru' could've killed Asako had she were in Yoshiki's position. Whether 'Hikaru' would have killed Yuki or not, I suppose it depends on timing and various other things. But it's always interesting how MMR chooses to frame the manga's events. The trick that Satou pulled was awful, but as of now it has accidentally fulfilled two objetives: Convincing the villagers that they are in danger and need to evacuate, and created a situation in which Yuki has no choice but to confront the fact that Hikaru is dead and decide what to do with this one, in opposition to her confronting 'Hikaru' in a risky manner when no one else is present, or talking with someone about 'Hikaru' and therefore spreading the rumor.
Yuki doesn't know or understand what 'Hikaru' is, or even if 'Hikaru' killed Hikaru to take his place or not, but there's a part of her that has wanted to have him anyway. It's not very different from Yoshiki, who let 'Hikaru' stay with him for similar reasons (see above) and needed nearly 40 chapters to resolve his internal conflict about accepting him entirely as the monster that he is. A parallel between Yuki and Yoshiki is that both carry a sort of metaphorical "wound" that makes it understandable why do they act as they do, so honestly, my concerns are less about Yuki, who doesn't mean harm and even returned to grab a spare of Hikaru's uniform, and more with the rest of the villagers that I assume are more ordinary (and conservative).
By the way, here's one of my favorite parts of the novel on Yoshiki's back-and-forth that ends up working as foreshadowing for the incident with Runa:
「これから先、お前がまた誰か殺してまったとしても、俺も一緒に罪を背負う」 そんな格好いいことを、格好いい言葉の通り実行できるのか。自信は微塵もなかったが、それでもヒカルに伝えた。
“Even if you wind up killin’ someone else after this, I’ll bear that sin with you.” Yoshiki didn’t have even an ounce of confidence that he could actually live up to such a cool statement, but he said it anyway.
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🎀Shop Link🐙
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I've updated my commission price! 10 slots available now!!! 😇 (x)
you can also refer to my ko-fi gallery and see if my art style suits your preference before commissioning me 😊
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15 Lines
Thanks to @cervus-scribe for the tag! :D I'm unsure who to tag in return, but if you see this and it sounds fun, tag ME so I can read yours!
📝 Share 15 or fewer lines of dialogue from an OC, ideally lines that capture the character/personality/vibe of the OC.
I chose D, my snarky, easily flustered, bisexual demon son. He was the very first POV I wrote. It's always difficult for me to describe his personality but it is very, very distinct, and I think these lines will show it. Threads: Above is a lot further from completion than Below, but you can see a lot of art of him and Holly, and this can give you a vague idea of what their dynamic is. :)
(These are not in a particular order.)
1 "It's fine," D replied, unsure what was fine, exactly, as it certainly wasn't him.
2 He briefly thought of about fifteen different things to say before settling on a simple, quiet, "Holly. What are you doing?"
3 "You apologize far too often." He crossed his arms and let out a sigh. "In the future, you could try and not do things you think you might have to apologize for later."
4 "I am not worried about it," D said with a frown, tapping his foot and worrying about it.
5 D successfully suppressed a snicker, and raised a brow. "Why would I laugh?"
6 He felt some of her silky hair brush against his hand and he realized she was right beside him--almost underneath him, he could have leaned forward just a few inches and rested his chin on the top of her head. He was not going to do that.
7 "Y-you touched me!" Holly's flustered face was bright red. D glanced over at her, certain he still looked the epitome of calmness and grace and hoping he could maintain that through his next carefully chosen words. "What are you so bothered for? I've done that several times now, in several different places as well." "D-don't phrase it that way!"
8 D sighed and pulled her back by placing his hand on one of her shoulders--twitching slightly as he remembered that they were bare, and twitching more as he learned that they were delightfully soft--and tugging gently, the same way he'd pulled her from the doors the previous day.
9 He bit off a Thread--a habit C had yelled at him about when he was a child-- 'D, don't put strange shit in your mouth, what the hell is wrong with you--but it was one he sometimes fell back into when he was distracted or annoyed.
10 D shook his head, interrupting him with an even more irritated handwave and sigh as he crossed his arms. "No, Asmodeus, i don't need confirmation of your bullshit agenda. I meant, in general. What are you doing?"
11 "Come now," he encouraged. "Unlike my brother, I am an excellent healer, but I do not think he will ever let me hear the end of it if I let his beloved suffer even a little pain." 12 "He is not!" D hurriedly insisted, sitting up straight. "I am obviously the taller one."
13 "Oh, you were joking, I see." He slid his hand up her wrist and removed hers from her neck, pinning it lightly beside them.
14 "Don't worry. We'll take things slowly." He turned another corner and kicked open a door. The knob exploded off it with the impact and rolled across the floor.
15 His teacher had her hands on her hips, looking down at him with more annoyed disgust than curiosity. He sat up abruptly. "Pardon me. I can't stay. I have a murder to commit."
2nd piece for TSHD Frame Redraw Artbook! you can check it out here 🍬
you can also join a bsky giveaway for a free physical copy 😼
one of my pieces for TSHD Frame Redraw Artbook! you can check it out here 🔥
you can also join a bsky giveaway for a free physical copy 😼
the tshd screencap redraw zine is out and free for download!
(you can also just peruse it online; it's been made readable on browser!)
i did hikaru from a flashback for it. you can grab the zine from the carrd below :)
TSHD Screencap Redraw Zine
🌟 if you've got a bluesky, there's also a giveaway for the physical zine happening until july 21st. (you can buy the physical book at production cost, as this is a zero profit project. link also in the carrd!)
hope yall check it out 🥰
You can see all TSHD Facsimile artworks for free or buy a non-profit here
Or take part on Bsky giveaway for a free physical copy ♡
facsimile
/fækˈsɪməli/ noun
1. The making a copy of anything, esp. writing; imitation.
2. An exact copy or likeness; an exact counterpart or representation.
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