#myshane couldn’t give less of a fuck about queer culture he just likes dick in his ass and he loves a Man. If you asked him about Stonewall he’d think it was the name of a tech startup.
#myilya is a fag and he loves it. him and harris watch queer movies once a month with Harris’ mom and they drink margaritas with little umbrellas in them.
Antelopes eat the grass. Certified Canadians @amailboxlemur have returned with more hockey facts, this time with consults from ofgeography, hockeywithhannah, and defractum.
This Post Contains:
junior careers aka childhood what childhood
the ahl
the rookie-vet acculturation system
boom and bust of an nhl team and its parallels with your player
forced divorce (trades)
retirement
For the purposes of Heated Rivalry, only two countries exist: Canada and Russia, so we are only explaining the junior career trajectories of those countries to the NHL. Other hockeys do exist! But do they tho. In a more real way, do they. ok ill allow Finland.
Canada
Canadians start hockey early, very early, often as early as age 3 and play in kiddie leagues as a timbit.
A timbit is a canadian doughnut that is small and round and sold at Tim Horton’s. Tim Horton (the man) was a Canadian hockey player in the 1950s and 1960s who opened his first doughnut shop towards the end of his playing career. I cannot communicate the significant cultural connection between Tim Horton’s, hockey, and Canadian identity. I have not found a suitable analogue in any other country. It’s not like Dunkin’s don’t try me. Tim Horton’s sponsors a lot of children’s sports, and named that program after the small doughnut, it’s very cute.
In Canada, hockey is ubiquitous for boys and to a lesser extent girls (girls play soccer (football)). Finding out a boy didn’t play hockey is more unusual than finding out he did.
A good player might be noted by age 8 and would start playing on more skilled teams until they can get drafted into the junior leagues. Yes. The kids get drafted. So imagine you’re 15 (it’s usually 16 but exceptional players can go a year early), you’re a superstar, everyone knows it, you are barely in school because you are doing hockey and select hockey and hockey clinic and working with a coach 1:1 and then a junior team from absolute nowhere Ontario says ‘you’re the one!’ and they take you from your family and move you.
When junior players are drafted, traditionally they live with a local family, usually someone who also has a kid in hockey, but not necessarily. This is called billeting and there’s often multiple boys in one house.
This explains much about hockey culture.
separated from family early, curtailing growth and development
surrounded only by other hockey people, socialising into their norms even more than already
isolation in a remote community. tho Shane went to Kingston which has a population of 100k so would be considered QUITE LARGE by the standards of Canada. Moreover, Kingston is pretty close to Toronto, Ottawa, and Montreal so opportunities to see people not in hockey do exist for him. boy’s living in a cultural paradise.
high pressure environment. Everyone here is trying to either get to the NHL or get a university scholarship
Russia
All of that Canada stuff about starting really young is also true here.
Russia’s junior system is more similar to European football. Players are scouted and then join team academies with the goal of being signed to the MHL and then the KHL or NHL.
It’s typical to stay in the hometown, with the development being provided in the form of camps or with that local team until players reach the MHL.
Historically Russian players coming to the NHL was politically fraught and it can still be complex.
Also just a fun fact, the NHL can draft a player without their consent, which basically means IF this guy comes to the NHL he HAS to come to us which could create a scenario where a guy got drafted but was like nah I’d prefer to play in the KHL forever. But technically he’s drafted! Anyway, feel free to use that for AUs.
In both the Russia and Canada cases it’s impossible to do this without family support. Someone has to drive this kid to practice and buy their expensive kit and the sport is full of hardcore stage parents. Let’s all be disappointments with papa.
Junior International Hockey
In addition to regular team play, juniors can get selected by their national hockey federation to play in prestigious international tournaments. The most special of these is World Juniors.
This is a great arena for seething teenage homoerotic tension because everyone is in training camp and then in the tournament together and facing people they never played before. It also happens in December, so there’s potential for angst and homesickness at Christmastime.
World Juniors happens every year and changes locations every year. It is an important Christmas tradition in Canada. The tournament starts on December 26th and I have many nostalgic childhood memories of waking up early the day after Christmas to watch a morning game in my pyjamas. There’s always a rivalry game on New Year’s Eve (like Canada vs Russia) and the tournament ends with a gold medal game in early January. To canadian hockey fans, this tournament is as much a part of the holiday season as decorating a Christmas tree or watching the ball drop on New Year’s Eve.
“The competition's profile is particularly high in Canada, and this is partly for historical reasons because prior to NHL players being allowed in the Winter Olympics, this was a rare tournament where the best western players faced the best players from the Soviet Bloc, and the only other tournament of similar stature where this occurred was the irregularly scheduled Canada Cup for senior sides.”
Okay Wikipedia that is fascinating.
This might be a good place to mention that the Canada v Russia hockey rivalry is REAL. If there is a country Canada cares about beating it is Russia. Genuinely sometimes unsure what would be more scandalous: gay hockey player or dating a Russian hockey player. (jk it’s the gayness)
Adulthood
Once they turn 18 they are eligible to be drafted into the NHL. Draft was covered in another guide.
There’s a couple of things that can happen when a player gets drafted.
VERY RARE: they go high (like top 5 overall), they were expected, they are put immediately into the main team
Most players continue playing with their Junior team, college team, or Russian/European team for a few more years.
Russian or European players can be sent to the AHL immediately.
Sidebar: the structure of the NHL
The NHL has 32 teams and each of those teams is paired with an AHL team. The AHL team is still professional but making significantly less money. AHL teams are geographically proximate to the NHL team but usually located in a smaller nearby town. Players for each team’s AHL team can be ‘called up’ to the main team to play at any time, for a single game, for the playoffs, or for a longer stint. These players get to play regularly, improve their skills, and serve to deepen the bench for the NHL. Some players spend their entire career in the AHL.
After being drafted a player is considered a prospect. Most players will continue playing with their junior teams until they age out at age 20. There are rules that prevent North Americans from playing in the AHL at age 18 and 19. Russians/Europeans are allowed that young, but will still often stay in Europe for these years. Then they’ll primarily play for the AHL team for a few seasons working on developing their skills and hockey sense. They might be occasionally called up to the NHL for a game or two or for the playoffs. By the time a player is about 25 he’s seen as developed into what he will be and is no longer a prospect. He’s either in the NHL full time or an AHL player who might be occasionally called up.
NHL
After doing juniors, getting drafted, staying with their junior team, going to the AHL they are in their early-mid 20s and have finally made it! Now our guys are in the NHL!
It’s common for rookie players to live with a team vet for a year or two when they first join the team. This is to help them settle in but also serves the purpose of reinforcing social norms. The chosen vet always has major dad vibes, often has kids of his own, and the rookie will act like a child and cause chaos in the vet’s life.
Mitch Marner continuing to torment Patrick Marleau even after no longer living in his house.
The hockey career is defined by the season. Players do their 82 regulation games and playoffs if their team clinches a spot.
This is your team, your family, your travel on the same bus together for roadies or fly together. Back in the day they used to share hotel rooms but the player union finally got teams to splurge for singles (sad day for the accidental bedsharing community). Rookies will still sometimes share a room on the road and treat it like a slumber party.
The bond between hockey teammates is intense.
In the off-season they go home and train. Most hockey contracts prohibit players from doing dangerous activities like skiing or surfing so these guys golf a lot. Sometimes hockey players train together, even guys from other teams, that’s not unusual. There are even very notable bromances between players on different teams.
Players will also usually go to Florida to lie on the beach.
Hockey players do a fair amount of media, but that’s usually as interviews. Reporters love to shove microphones in their sweaty oxygen deprived faces between periods or at the end of a game and hear scintillating soundbites such as “yeah uhhh we just gotta stick to our game and get pucks in deep.”
True standout stars might do some commercials and endorsements but all of these guys have cultivated the personality of cardboard so while other sports have been leaning into personalising the relationship between audience and player, hockey mostly sticks to traditional soundbites and game interviews.
If a player threatens to have a personality they have them taken out back. Barely kidding. It’s one of the ways in which racism pervades the sport. Nylander wore a coloured tie once and it was the subject of thinkpieces.
Watch out for this fashion radical!!!!!
Trades, Waivers
This is prime angst territory. Forced divorce! Who would split this family up!
Hockey doesn’t have a mechanism to lend a player to another team outside of the AHL/NHL swap but a player can be put on waivers and snatched up by another team if they need it, or a player can be traded with another team. Players don’t get a say in this outside of rare cases. Wake up one morning and now you have to live in Colorado.
Players who are very good can get no-move clauses in their contracts. Players who are mid-tier might find that they are getting traded every few years and then it’s a round of settling in, buying a house, getting the kids set up at school, rinse, repeat.
Right before playoffs is a common time to get traded as teams about to make a playoff run need to add depth to their bench as they anticipate players dropping for injury or just needing more strong players to increase their chance. Simultaneously teams that didn’t make the playoffs are trying to shed budget to prepare for a rebuild and hopefully better luck with the draft.
Occasionally this is a beautiful story where it’s like their old team didn’t appreciate them but they found joy and love at new team! Most of the time they get dropped after playoffs.
A reason for a star player to get traded might also be the salary cap. Each team has a ceiling for the combined total they can be paying their players, so if they get too stacked they might need to drop someone to get a few cheaper rookies. TRAGIQUE. This is yet another example of the American obsession with fairness ruining love and sports. Don’t get me started on penalty reviews.
As a note, trades don’t have to be 1:1 and teams can trade away future draft picks, so it’s like we traded Bradley to the Jigsaws for two future fourth round draft picks and their least favourite defenseman—insult on injury. But sometimes teams also trade someone with a buddy! So they don’t always have to go alone.
Stages of an NHL team
NHL teams boom and bust in cycles like the wheel of reincarnation or perhaps a phoenix if a phoenix petered instead of going out in beautiful fire and we can equate these to Shakespeare’s ages of man. All the world’s an ice rink and one player in his time plays many parts.
Same as the team has stages, so does each player. Except unlike the team which is everlasting and regenerates, the athlete goes through them and then retires.
First the infant, mewling and puking in the nurse’s arm: At the beginning of the cycle, an NHL team is bad. They get to draft high, and trade away many of their current players for draft picks and prospects. Rinse and repeat over a couple of years. Now the team has a few high draft picks making their debuts and lots of prospects developing in the AHL.
Then, the whining schoolboy with his satchel and shining face: As these prospects graduate to the NHL in their early 20s the team is considered a “young team”. They have a lot of potential! They have so much energy! They score flashy goals! They make silly mistakes! They’re constantly learning and improving.
Then a soldier seeking a bubble reputation: As this group of players reaches their late 20s, they’re in their prime. They still have speed and skill, their bodies haven’t been completely broken down. They’ve learned all their lessons and know how to play structured hockey as a cohesive team. The team is in win-now mode and trades away all their draft picks and prospects in the hopes of winning the Stanley Cup.
Then the justice, full of wise saws: As the players enter their 30s the team is getting old. Injuries are starting to catch up with them. The star players have high salaries but might not be producing like they once were. The team might need to trade one away to make the salary cap work. They traded away all their picks and prospects years ago, so there’s no young talent coming in. This can be a slow or steep decline.
Finally, the sixth age, world shrunk too wide: the team must commit to a rebuild and trade away their former high draft picks in an attempt to bottom out and increase their chances of drafting high and begin the cycle all over again.
Example timeline using the Pittsburgh Penguins:
2003: Marc-André Fleury is drafted 1st overall
2004: Evgeni Malkin is drafted 2nd overall
2005: Shane Hollander Sidney Crosby is drafted 1st overall
2007: Pittsburgh makes the playoffs for the first time with these 3 players
2009: Win the Stanley Cup
2016: Win the Stanley Cup
2017: Win the Stanley Cup (June 11th)
2017: Marc-André Fleury is taken by Vegas in the expansion draft (June 21st)
2018-present: all but 4 players that won the Stanley Cup in 2017 leave the team
2023: Pittsburgh misses the playoffs for the first time since 2006
Crosby and Malkin are superhuman for still playing as well as they are at the ages of 38 and 39, but the question remains - how long before Pittsburgh falls to the bottom of the standings and drafts first again beginning the cycle anew?
Retirement
Players usually retire between 35 and 40 if they’re lucky. Odds are higher that something in their body will catastrophically give out (hips is a big one because of the skating posture). Odds are higher still that newer, fresher talent will come in and push them out. Like all sports, the stars get to decide when they go out. Everyone else waits for it to happen to them.
Gather ye rosebuds while ye may.
It’s more common now than it used to be for a lower tier player to dip out a bit early and go play in the European Hockey League for a bit in order to get a role on the team with more minutes.
Right now the top goal scorer is the ancient (38) year old Sidney Crosby so unc still got it! Elder rights!
Post-Retirement
Post-retirement career paths include: restauranteur, coach, pundit. Broadcast pundit if they’re legit, podcaster if they’re less so. Remembering also that these guys have known each other since childhood due to junior hockey and international tournaments so there’s a lot of potential in someone commentating on someone they shared a hotel room with before.
All of these guys have a restaurant for some reason.
There’s a bit of a pity path available as well where a team will keep an aged out star on as a ‘consultant’ which seems to be mostly a way to keep them having a purpose and close to the organisation. An emotional support retired player, if you will.
It can be really hard to land for players after retirement. Hockey isn’t just their job, it’s their entire identity. Being an athlete means being in this brotherhood, it’s a system of meaning in addition to a structure to their day. This is why players will play well past the point of injury or utility, or will stay long past the point of winning.
Aaaaaaaaand that’s sports!
hockey overview | this is pt 2 so no link | hockey culture
no one is asking for this but i have to make my one million hours on ao3 mean something
the texture of memory: very very very good, read it i am so serious, completed
the anatomy of a bird heart in slow decay: a love story ft ghosts, grief, mothers and sons, and survival. completed
car wash redhead, tube top R.E.M. concert, juror #6: hollanov character study, power and love, i adore those freaks so much <3, completed
fall in love again and again: the classic tuna-melt groundhog day, with a house of leaves flavour, completed
Jessica: teenaged shane as seen through his relationship with his high school girlfriend, i love them both so unbearably much, completed
home economics: nhl lockout leads to hollanov living together in the situationship era-there's no way this could go wrong! completed
Route 96 Kanata: shane suffers a career ending injury before meeting ilya but where there's a will there's a tortured hollanov situationship nonetheless. full of fantastic ottawan idiosyncrasies. wip
World on Your Shoulders: what if shane had a queer rookie while deep in the midst of his "i'm not gay" era? delicious shane characterization, this whole series is a dark comedy that i want to swallow whole, completed
adding a cut because this got so fucking long lmao
wunderkind: breathtaking look into yuna hollander's inner world but everyone really shines through wonderfully here (ilya my heart i love you so much), completed
always, sun: canon,,,,,,,divergence?? magical realism, gorgeous and vaguely terrifying, completed
I have only two emotions (careful fear and dead devotion): shane disappears from hockey post prospect cup and hollanov meets again much farther down the road, gorgeous tender slow burn, completed
nothing makes me feel as good: shane character study through jj's eyes, god im so obsessed with this crazy crazy man, completed
I. ONE LITTLE GOD FALLING OVER ANOTHER: the last year in boston, gorgeous format, peeling back the edges of the GC universe, wip
The Canadian Hot 100: incredibly tender series of married hollanov vignettes, wip
The Discipline Of It: The Eating Disorder Shane Fic, at least for me. such a realistic look into an ed and ocd tendencies. love this take on shane & yuna's relationship as well, completed
your presence has gone through me (like needle through a thread): ilya gets a family and i cry one million tears of joy, wip
we'll make a home on the cracks: journalist shane fights his way out of an ethics torment nexus and finds true love <3 cute hollanov & fun shane characterization, wip
frequently, secretly fond of each other: boston! shane, you know it you love it, wip
some pacific wind: race and language: a hollanov conversation on perception, completed
dark out and still thirty degrees: one of the only a/b/o fics i've ever enjoyed, the misogyny/discrimination feels very real, ft. wonderful trans shane journey!! completed
gens du pays: "Do you think you can love two people at once"? aka giving shane a second situationship with sasha nolastname. might not be everyones cup of tea because ilya hasn't entered the picture yet, but i've been thinking about it nonstop since reading. such a good sasha , wip
Plexiglass Box: what if hollanov met as teens in Moscow? (ilya x coach's son but it was shane the whole time), Excellent tension, completed, with wip sequel
one of your eyes is always half-shut (something happened when you were a kid): a wonderful take on alexei, Such a gut punch to read as an older sibling, completed
and he spoke the bridegroom fair: pre-tunamelt shane on marriage, gender, race, and being known. completed
Hello From Moscow, Goodbye from Montreal: canon divergence circa 2012 where ilya calls shane drunk one night, and keeps calling after that, equally funny and devastating, wip
i could have been somebody else: shane and rose post-breakup discovering things about themselves together, platonic soulmates2me, completed
waiting for the tides to change: sweet little hollanov-as-childhood-best-friends snapshot , completed
It had to be you, Wonderful you: transmasc ilya you are soooo dear to me, completed
Offside: coach/player forbidden hollanov but it's sweeter than you would expect. wip
Honey, you're familiar like my mirror years ago: climbing inside your soulmates body is a thing that is both normal to want and possible to have (ft. painful but warming version of shane's life post. career ending injury), wip
head and body to you: tortured self-destructive shane character study, toxic? situationship hollanov, canon-typical emotion development through the lens of sex, completed
the soviet montage: obviously already popular but i had to, cold-war era hollanov post. ilya's defection from the soviet union, completed
Home Ice Advantage: another boston! shane but diving more deeply into how being traded would impact the hockey of it all, very perfectionism torment nexus, completed (with wip sequel)
Blizost: what if you could climb inside your lover and share one body between two souls?, completed
Mama's Boy, Mama's Boy: shane hollander's journey if the whole time he was also haunted by his situationship's dead mom, fantastic irina characterization, completed
cracked plexiglass: canon rewrite that fleshes out a version of shane's pre-NHL hockey career that's more realistic to the actual environment of high level Canadian juniors, very very good, wip
i know where to draw the line: older captain shane and younger teammate ilya, super cute, completed
but what if I need you in my darkest hour? : our favorite hockey players plane crash Bad on the way to 2017 All Stars, painful in all the ways, completed
Just Enough of You: shane fills in for his identical twin during a photoshoot with ilya rozanov, and the consequences are disastrous. hilarious plot on top of an incredible twin tormet nexus. wip
other half: another twin! shane fic, but twin sister this time. incredibly endearing main oc and complicated hollander family dynamics. wip
The Eyes are Afraid: "accidental child aquisition in the sense that shane accidentally finds himself co-parenting ilya's little sister", wip
calcified and useless (should i try and do it?): my favorite shanebortion fic, completed
spartacus.: "Ilya Rozanov, what do you want? And how are you going to get it?", completed
lenticchie per capodanno: ilya makes a friend post-tunamelt #doublebeard, the torment is so good, wip
Moscow lost and found: 13 year old shane goes on an epic family reunion quest in moscow and meets ilya along the way, they are soooo sweet and young it makes my heart hurt, wip
the winners-verse: canon-divergent series exploring shane and ilya's relationship after the end of HR. obsessed with these versions of them, they both have serious teeth. completed
I'm Just Happy You Still Call: yuna character study as shane does a little growing up, completed
if you're scared of wolves: ilya in a time loop but it's a Decade Long, broke my brain, wip
thylacine: shane's introspection on his race and hockey, i shed actual tears at the end, completed
virtue theory: a truly excellent shane character study. nothing like a man to misuse stoicism! completed
gulf winds: shane & ilya coparenting alexei's niece when really they could use some extra time cooking themselves. but also maybe the coparenting is the self-parenting in the end. ft. yet another delightful unhinged female oc!! wip
oh well, I guess we're gonna find out!: shane and ilya together as the zombie apocalypse comes directly post-vegas. really good shanestruggle, completed
Electric Fan (Feel It Motherfuckers): "Ilya has one hour to wipe his existence from his boyfriends’ house": a closer look at the closet. so painful, i can't do the summary justice, made me cry a little. completed
there are like millions more that i will add once i remember them
no one is asking for this but i have to make my one million hours on ao3 mean something
the texture of memory: very very very good, read it i am so serious, completed
the anatomy of a bird heart in slow decay: a love story ft ghosts, grief, mothers and sons, and survival. completed
car wash redhead, tube top R.E.M. concert, juror #6: hollanov character study, power and love, i adore those freaks so much <3, completed
fall in love again and again: the classic tuna-melt groundhog day, with a house of leaves flavour, completed
Jessica: teenaged shane as seen through his relationship with his high school girlfriend, i love them both so unbearably much, completed
home economics: nhl lockout leads to hollanov living together in the situationship era-there's no way this could go wrong! completed
Route 96 Kanata: shane suffers a career ending injury before meeting ilya but where there's a will there's a tortured hollanov situationship nonetheless. full of fantastic ottawan idiosyncrasies. wip
World on Your Shoulders: what if shane had a queer rookie while deep in the midst of his "i'm not gay" era? delicious shane characterization, this whole series is a dark comedy that i want to swallow whole, completed
adding a cut because this got so fucking long lmao
wunderkind: breathtaking look into yuna hollander's inner world but everyone really shines through wonderfully here (ilya my heart i love you so much), completed
always, sun: canon,,,,,,,divergence?? magical realism, gorgeous and vaguely terrifying, completed
I have only two emotions (careful fear and dead devotion): shane disappears from hockey post prospect cup and hollanov meets again much farther down the road, gorgeous tender slow burn, completed
nothing makes me feel as good: shane character study through jj's eyes, god im so obsessed with this crazy crazy man, completed
I. ONE LITTLE GOD FALLING OVER ANOTHER: the last year in boston, gorgeous format, peeling back the edges of the GC universe, wip
The Canadian Hot 100: incredibly tender series of married hollanov vignettes, wip
The Discipline Of It: The Eating Disorder Shane Fic, at least for me. such a realistic look into an ed and ocd tendencies. love this take on shane & yuna's relationship as well, completed
your presence has gone through me (like needle through a thread): ilya gets a family and i cry one million tears of joy, wip
we'll make a home on the cracks: journalist shane fights his way out of an ethics torment nexus and finds true love <3 cute hollanov & fun shane characterization, wip
frequently, secretly fond of each other: boston! shane, you know it you love it, wip
some pacific wind: race and language: a hollanov conversation on perception, completed
dark out and still thirty degrees: one of the only a/b/o fics i've ever enjoyed, the misogyny/discrimination feels very real, ft. wonderful trans shane journey!! completed
gens du pays: "Do you think you can love two people at once"? aka giving shane a second situationship with sasha nolastname. might not be everyones cup of tea because ilya hasn't entered the picture yet, but i've been thinking about it nonstop since reading. such a good sasha , wip
Plexiglass Box: what if hollanov met as teens in Moscow? (ilya x coach's son but it was shane the whole time), Excellent tension, completed, with wip sequel
one of your eyes is always half-shut (something happened when you were a kid): a wonderful take on alexei, Such a gut punch to read as an older sibling, completed
and he spoke the bridegroom fair: pre-tunamelt shane on marriage, gender, race, and being known. completed
Hello From Moscow, Goodbye from Montreal: canon divergence circa 2012 where ilya calls shane drunk one night, and keeps calling after that, equally funny and devastating, wip
i could have been somebody else: shane and rose post-breakup discovering things about themselves together, platonic soulmates2me, completed
waiting for the tides to change: sweet little hollanov-as-childhood-best-friends snapshot , completed
It had to be you, Wonderful you: transmasc ilya you are soooo dear to me, completed
Offside: coach/player forbidden hollanov but it's sweeter than you would expect. wip
Honey, you're familiar like my mirror years ago: climbing inside your soulmates body is a thing that is both normal to want and possible to have (ft. painful but warming version of shane's life post. career ending injury), wip
head and body to you: tortured self-destructive shane character study, toxic? situationship hollanov, canon-typical emotion development through the lens of sex, completed
the soviet montage: obviously already popular but i had to, cold-war era hollanov post. ilya's defection from the soviet union, completed
Home Ice Advantage: another boston! shane but diving more deeply into how being traded would impact the hockey of it all, very perfectionism torment nexus, completed (with wip sequel)
Blizost: what if you could climb inside your lover and share one body between two souls?, completed
Mama's Boy, Mama's Boy: shane hollander's journey if the whole time he was also haunted by his situationship's dead mom, fantastic irina characterization, completed
cracked plexiglass: canon rewrite that fleshes out a version of shane's pre-NHL hockey career that's more realistic to the actual environment of high level Canadian juniors, very very good, wip
i know where to draw the line: older captain shane and younger teammate ilya, super cute, completed
but what if I need you in my darkest hour? : our favorite hockey players plane crash Bad on the way to 2017 All Stars, painful in all the ways, completed
Just Enough of You: shane fills in for his identical twin during a photoshoot with ilya rozanov, and the consequences are disastrous. hilarious plot on top of an incredible twin tormet nexus. wip
other half: another twin! shane fic, but twin sister this time. incredibly endearing main oc and complicated hollander family dynamics. wip
The Eyes are Afraid: "accidental child aquisition in the sense that shane accidentally finds himself co-parenting ilya's little sister", wip
calcified and useless (should i try and do it?): my favorite shanebortion fic, completed
spartacus.: "Ilya Rozanov, what do you want? And how are you going to get it?", completed
lenticchie per capodanno: ilya makes a friend post-tunamelt #doublebeard, the torment is so good, wip
Moscow lost and found: 13 year old shane goes on an epic family reunion quest in moscow and meets ilya along the way, they are soooo sweet and young it makes my heart hurt, wip
the winners-verse: canon-divergent series exploring shane and ilya's relationship after the end of HR. obsessed with these versions of them, they both have serious teeth. completed
I'm Just Happy You Still Call: yuna character study as shane does a little growing up, completed
if you're scared of wolves: ilya in a time loop but it's a Decade Long, broke my brain, wip
thylacine: shane's introspection on his race and hockey, i shed actual tears at the end, completed
virtue theory: a truly excellent shane character study. nothing like a man to misuse stoicism! completed
gulf winds: shane & ilya coparenting alexei's niece when really they could use some extra time cooking themselves. but also maybe the coparenting is the self-parenting in the end. ft. yet another delightful unhinged female oc!! wip
oh well, I guess we're gonna find out!: shane and ilya together as the zombie apocalypse comes directly post-vegas. really good shanestruggle, completed
Electric Fan (Feel It Motherfuckers): "Ilya has one hour to wipe his existence from his boyfriends’ house": a closer look at the closet. so painful, i can't do the summary justice, made me cry a little. completed
there are like millions more that i will add once i remember them
snowghoul
annaxmalina
vaporwave
andulkaphoto
blakekathryn
yousharknotpass
