Burnt Pasts: A Derek Hale Oneshot
Background:You and Derek have been friends since childhood. You’d been with him in his darkest days and that of Paige’s death and now, after Jennifer Blake’s true identity as a Darach. The revelation had broken Derek’s heart especially since it was the first time he had fallen in love again since he returned to Beacon Hills. But now as the two of you, and the rest of the pack began to recover, there are secrets between the both of you that began to surface…
Even with Jennifer killed, there still remained a sorrowful and almost grieving aura around Derek. You and Peter were in Derek’s apartment. Though Peter was unwelcome, he had been a bit of a good side in him as he placed his trust on you to look after his nephew.
“You’re one of the only person he has left, (y/n).” Peter whispered but you both knew Derek could hear from his bed a floor above.
Peter and you were standing side by side, unable to face each other as you were still disdainful of him. “I know,” You replied, your arms crossed and sticky with blood.
He cleared his throat, looking down at his shoes awkwardly before speaking — “I’ll leave him to you then.” He bid his goodbye and left the apartment, leaving Derek and you alone.
You looked up to the second floor and sighed, taking a look at your hands stained with Jennifer’s blood, recalling your brawl with her. Heading upstairs, you saw Derek lying on his side, back faced to you. With his slow and almost painful breathing, it was obvious how hurt he was. He had removed his torn jacket and shirt, and his shoes leaving nothing except his pants and socks.
You went inside the bathroom and saw your rugged self in the mirror. The wounds were healing as you removed your jacket. Turning around, only in your white tank top, there were three large gnashes so deep it took longer to heal. You tossed your jacket into the laundry basket and removed your heavy boots. Glancing to the door to see Derek, he remained still. You sighed, washing your face, your hands and arms before returning to the room with a warm and wet towel.
Looking at Derek lying so still reminded you of the time when Paige died, the days after. He was heart-broken beyond repair, unresponsive for about a month. It took a whole lot of effort for Talia, Cora, Laura, and you to help him back on his feet and afterwards he was back to normal but still fragmented. But with no more Hale family members to help, it was up to you to do so. And it broke your heart to see him like this once again and after when he had fallen in love for the first time in years.
“Derek,” You finally called. It had taken a lot of confidence to even utter his name. He didn’t answer nor stir, it was normal and took this chance to go about the bed and to the side that he faced.
Derek was staring into the distance, his face dirty with specks of dirt and droplets of blood, and his body covered in bruises and marks that would heal soon enough. Though through his emotional pain, the wounds were healing slower than natural. You bent down on the floor, close to him and began wiping his forehead with the towel. He didn’t move as you continued to clean his cheek gently and slowly
“Derek, remember when we were kids and I cried over a boy who dumped me?” You tried in a hushed and almost silent tone.
Derek’s eyes turned to you and you smiled at that small but meaningful gesture.
“Remember him? Lawrence was his name and I was only thirteen. He dumped me for being too masculine, remember?” You chucked. “And remember what you did to comfort me?”
Derek finally replied but hoarsely, “I made fun of you then we went to prank the asshole.”
Both of you managed to laugh weakly as if you were afraid to break the peaceful yet suffocating silence. But afterwards, silence dominated you both. Even though it was claustrophobic, you continued to clean Derek’s wounds, making sure that he was not alone any longer.
“(y/n),” Derek breathed, sitting up slowly and painfully like it had been a task for him.
“What is it?” You asked, sitting beside him.
He was speechless for a moment and when you and he locked eyes, it didn’t take another second for him to break down into tears. And you instinctively embraced him, his head on your shoulders as his tears ran down your skin. His whimpers broke your heart that you couldn’t help but shed tears as well, hushing and telling him “it’s okay,” repeatedly.
“I’m here, Derek. I’m here.” You soothed, hoping it would have a bit of effect on his already shattered heart.
He held your forearm tightly as his tears ran down your neck. You let him cry, his emotional breakdown in parallel aggresiveness since Paige. In that moment, it was if the both of you had aged back into the reckless and carefree sixteen year olds facing life’s harshest realities. You held him protectively, a tear falling from your left eye as you couldn’t bear to look down and see him hurt. He clutched like a child onto your body, searching for refuge and you gladly gave it to him once more.
"I’m here,” You forced yourself to remain firm and you gave his head a long kiss for comfort. “You’re not alone.”
Derek raised himself, taking your right hand in his–“(y,n), I can’t take this anymore. Why do the women I love hurt me so much?”
You were speechless, unable to answer him. “I don’t know, Derek. I’m sorry.” You murmured embarrasingly.
He pulled back, growling in a fit of rage all of a sudden. He jerked up and stood, replacing his cries with an enraged howl. In a frozen state, you watched both anger and sorrow toss the lamp onto the wall, shattering it in the process. It was when he began thrashing things that you grabbed him, “Derek, stop it!”
His strength exceeded yours at his current state of anguish and he tore a pillow, the feathers bursting into the air. You pleaded desperately, placing yourself in front of him and embracing him. He slowed down, his heavy breathing against your neck as his hands wandered your back. “Stop this,” You begged with a sigh. His arms tighened around you, and you felt his tears though tamed, wet your shoulder.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Derek whimpered.
You pulled back and made him look at you, your palm against his cheek. Both of you locked eyes, his pupils dilating. Then time seemed to have stopped for the both of you, his eyelids heavy and his eyes swollen red from crying. Your heart skipped when he suddenly, pressed his lips on yours.
It was the second time you and Derek had kissed. The first had occured a month after Paige when Derek was recovering and was able to stand on his own once more. You were with him, running around the forest which ended in a friendly spar that pinned you both on the ground. The moment had changed your life forever when he kissed you first, a string of passion that ended when you both realize it was wrong. It came to a halt and both of you acted like nothing happened until the accident that you caused.
The fire that engulfed the forest with the Hales almost trapped in the blaze was the cause of a disturbed emotion in you that magically conjured flames from your very hands. And it was fueled more with fear. You decided then to leave with the help of Talia, mom, to help fake your death. For years you remained dead to the Hale until the news that they were killed by fire, an ironic turn that made you return. And now, Derek was here and you withdrew from his embrace in panic.
“(y/n),” Derek muttered. “What’s wrong?”
“This isn’t right,” You said, without looking at him in the eye. “It’s confusing.”
The passion had somehow emitted a smoke from within you and you stared at your fingers that had flickers of flames. Closing them into a fist, you went to the bathroom and poured water into your hands.
“(y/n), it’s okay.” Derek appeared at the door. “I didn’t mean to take you by surprise,”
“No. It’s not that.” You looked at the mirror, a whole mess staring right back at you. “Hasn’t it become common for you to look for me for comfort after every girl that broke your heart?”
You had scoffed repeating what you said in your head, removing your dirty tank top.
“It isn’t like that,” He responded.
“I’ve been looking at the wrong person,” Derek confessed, a tear falling from his eye.
“Shouldn’t you have thought about it when we saw each other for the first time in years? We kissed before but that was it.”
“When you kissed me just now. I tried my best to remove all memory of you and everyone when I left but somehow I wanted to go home when I found out that everyone died in a fire… A fire! The very reason I left Beacon Hills and it’s ironic that it should be the cause of our family’s death.”
“It doesn’t matter anymore. You’re trying to control it!”
“It’s still a work in progress but when you kissed me-” A tear fell from your eye, your chest aching. “I didn’t feel anything for you but there was a small part of me that yearned for you. I denied it all especially when you fell for Jennifer.”
“I wasn’t thinking straight.”
“You were smitten. You loved her because you never loved ever since Paige.”
“I fell in love with you after her! When we kissed in the forest and we both, like cowards, ran away from it.” He bellowed.
“You were recovering from Paige! I didn’t want you to look at me like some backup and tool to ease your pain!” You shouted. “And I looked at you like a brother and I prefered it then to be like that!”
Derek stomped his way in and pulled you to another kiss and withdrew, your lips ached at the sudden absence.
“I know you’re lying if you say you don’t feel anything for me.” His cold eyes that masked so much sadness gazed firmly into your eyes. “I thought I was protecting our relationship if I didn’t do anything to reveal my true feelings for you. You were unreadable. You acted like nothing happened between us but I couldn’t help myself any longer. I thought I could replace you with someone else but I was fooling myself, I was running away from you, from my own emotions…”
You bit your lip while your eyes watered, unable to hide your suppressed emotions any longer. “I don’t want to end up like all the other women you loved.”
“You won’t be. You never was. I promise you that.” He soothed, his palms on your blushing cheeks. “You were with me all this time, in my heart even when I thought you died. You never left, you hurt me so much I couldn’t bear it. I want to love you, just let me do so.”
“And if I accidentally burn you?” You smirked somehow, showing your playful side despite the tears.
“I trust you have some control to prevent that from happening.”
You burst out laughing, wiping your tears as Derek kissed your forehead. His hands wandered to the back of your thighs and lifted you up, your lips finding solace in each other’s and you wrapped your legs around him.
“I’m thankful that we met, when mom adopted you into the family. You were there for me when others weren’t espeially now that most of the family had been murdered - except for Peter.” He breathe in disdain.
You gave an amused smile, “I know. But at least, we get to bully him.”
He chuckled, “I look forward to doing that with you.”
Both of you exchanged laughter before taking you back to the bedroom, pinning you down on the bed as he began smothering your skin with soft to aggressive kisses. In which led to both of you making love for the first time.
Disclaimer: All gifs used were found in Giphy.com! All gifs belong to their respected owners.
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