People who propose cishet aces are LGBT often feel they have a similar battle to bisexual and transgender people. Itâs no secret that there has been and still is, divisiveness with the community between people representing the different letters of the acronym. And yes, I wonât deny gay people can perpetuate biphobia and transphobia against Bi and Trans people, and vice versa when it comes to homophobia.Â
The thing is, this is not what is happening to cishet asexual people. Because regardless, Bi and Transgender people belong to the larger LGBT community, but cishet asexuals have no claim.Â
A more correct analogy would be if I did this: âI am butch a woman, so I should be considered as part of the trans community as Iâve had some unpleasant experiences where people assumed I was a man including in bathrooms.â But no, that is wrong because at the end of the day Iâm still a cis woman. I know that when I start talking people are more than likely realize their mistake because my voice is still feminine. Plus, accusations of being a man cannot trigger dysphoria and/or fear for my safety like it can for my fellow trans women. Is my experience in a way similar? Sure, but itâs a butch lesbian experience, not that of a trans woman. What I am usually dealing with is the intersection of misogyny and homophobia for not dressing like a woman. My gender, ultimately, is still respected and not questioned.
Is what I go through valid and should be addressed? Sure, but it should never do so in a way that 1) pretends itâs the same thing as transmisogyny and 2) not speak over trans women whose challenges in this life are for more severe than mine for dressing butch.Â
Issues around GNC cis women are important and should be talked about, but I would never do so in a way that claimed my experiences are just like that of trans people and I would never demand access to a specific community (the trans community, because we all have our own inner communities inside the LGBT one) that was not made for cis people like myself.Â
And this is what asexual people are doing. They have a legitimate issue that needs addressing, but instead of doing it in their own spaces and community, theyâre demanding a community and safe spaces not meant for them cater to them and at the expense of the people whom this community and safe spaces was initially built for.Â
No, asexuals are not like bisexual people being told theyâre basically straight or transgender women being denied access to feminist or lgbt spaces. Youâre more like the men who whine and complain about feminism because theyâre not allowed to cry and demand feminism should do something about that. Youâre more like poor white people who think their class situation means they cannot be racist or benefit from racism. Youâre the oppressor* demanding the oppressed make time and space for you because you canât be bothered to put in the effort yourself.Â
*talking about cishet aces here, not lgbt aces.Â
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