It’s times like these that Skuld is a little more aware about his inability to really be a decent supportive friend. It can’t be helped, he’s working with a trouble hand here.
*GRAB LIFE BY THE [strings]. YOU KNOW WE’VE ALL HAD THE SAME OLD [sob story] UP UNTIL A CERTAIN POINT. WHY WOULD YOU STILL BE CONTROLLED WHEN YOU’RE NOT EVEN IN THE [story mode] ANYMORE.
He scoffs, rubbing his arms for a moment. Half trying to convince Spaz, half trying to convince himself. God knows he was thrown away for some dumb fuck reason, christ.
*[You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take]. IF THEY HATE YOU THEY HATE YOU, IF THEY DON’T, THEY DON’T. YOU DON’T KNOW UNTIL YOU MAKE THAT [one small step]. RIGHT NOW, YOU’RE JUST LETTING YOUR [*incoherent screaming] [tear you limb from limb] [gaze upon the self within].
*WE MIGHT BE [trash], EVEN WHEN [picked up and washed off], WE’RE STILL SCUM, BUT I’M NOT GONNA KEEP AVOIDING THE [bad]. SOME I DESERVE, SOME I DON’T. UNTIL I LOSE [ABSOLUTELY] EVERYTHING, I’M GOING TO [Persist]. KEEP TRYING TO FIND WHAT MAKES ME [happy]. AND IF I KNOW YOU AS WELL AS I THINK I DO, YOU DON’T GIVE UP. [Annoyingly] PERSISTENT, MAKE DO WITH A [shit] HAND.
*THIS TIME YOU’RE NOT [bound and gagged] BY A [too good to be true] DEAL. THIS TIME YOU’RE ON YOUR OWN, [Accept the terms and conditions]. Do whatever you think you want. It’s not like someone has a [gun] to your head. It’s only you.
He says, reaching into his pockets for his box of cigarettes that he got within legal means, tapping it and plucking one out for his mirror. He lights his own, and sighs, turning to gaze at the gridlocked skybox, expression slightly hidden from Spaz, only because it was uncharacteristically somber.
*Don’t be a [coward] [underdog].
⇨ You’re not there anymore. You’re not where you were before. Evidence and logic-- if that’s what you’re looking for, it all points to being fine, and what they say reminds that. The forces beyond his control, they might still be there, somewhere, everywhere-- but they aren’t playing with HIM anymore. They used you up, remember? Whatever it was they used you for. So the job’s done. So no more games. So you’re free.
Alright. He believes that enough to feel a tenuous but decided grip on his sanity and reality. Now he can hear them out properly. When he manages to look up at them during that reassurance, his expression was so alive it almost wasn’t plastic anymore, so stressed and sad. But as they keep talking it changes. He recognized those words-- he’d say it to them if they ever needed it. And when they describe HIM-- he was almost embarrassed. Because it was like something obvious just clicked.
And at that final challenge, they’d feel the cigarette snatched with conviction.
His eyes were black as he paused, but he was smiling. “ * HOW.... COULD I FORGET? ” And his eyes brighten again, steadily, like a screen rebooting from sleep. “ * MY ONE [ Best ] [ Character trait ] ? ..... I NEVER [ $#%@!$% ] LEARN MY LESSON !!! HAehaHEAHEAhaHEA !!! ” Big, unstoppable energy restored, he bounces on the car hood and he lights a flame with his wedding ring. drags, and shoots a ring of smoke. “ * SPAMTON [ Spaz ] SPAMTON IS NO [[ quitter ]] !!! SO WHAT IF IT DIDN’T WORK OUT BEFORE--- I’M [ On a roll ! ] !!! HOW BAD COULD IT GO? [ I’ve seen worse! ] WHAT MORE COULD [ Life ] DO TO ME, HUH? I’D LOVE TO [ Let’s find out! ] !!! ” A big shrug of his arms and he kicks himself off the hood, turning to them as he continues with his wide gestures. “ * I WANT TO KNOW WHAT THOSE [ little britches ] HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT ME! AND I’M-- I’M-- I’M GONNA HEAR IT FROM THEM! ” For a moment, it was like he was going to turn and run off right that second, but he stops and looks back to them, smile softening. “ * THA-- Thanks, Skuld. ”
Maybe for anyone else they weren’t exactly comforting... but for him, they were just the kick in the pants he needed.
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