#thebigshotman

[timedticket]

@thebigshotman asked: A new Darkner suddenly appears before you. A…ventriloquist dummy of some sort? *YOU TH3 [[doll]] THAT RUNS THIS [[stand clear of the closing doors, please.]]??? I W4S STARTING TO THINK THERE WASN’T 1, HAEAHEAHEAHEAHEAHE!!! He’s louder than his appearance would suggest and his voice is constantly changing. He even glitches here and there as he laughs, getting himself together enough to hold up a ball jointed hand for her to shake. *THE NAM3’S SPAM-SPAMTON G SPAMTON!!! [[Don’t Forget]] IT, OKAY??? / unprompted.

An unfamiliar, distorted voice fractures the carefully maintained harmony of Tockette's station. That vile, crackling noise that shouldn't belong here puts her on high alert. Her torso snaps around in a full 180-degree rotation, her elegant frame bending low as she locates the source of the disruption.

" You're malfunctioning, Spamton G. Spamton. " Her voice is cold and mechanical, devoid of any emotion. Glassy, black eyes lock onto him not just to see—but scan, evaluate, condemn. In her Time World, malfunctions follow the standard protocol. Citizens know what to do when their systems fail. Wandering aimlessly, glitching and putting others at risk? That's not it.

But then she pauses. Silly her! This strange, twitching little figure isn't one of hers. Tockette's rigid expression softens as her posture relaxes.

" Awww, what in Father Time's name happened to you, dearie ??? " She coos, tone now laced with genuine concern. Instead of a handshake, the conductor reaches out with both her hands, squeezing his between them in a gesture of comfort. " Would you like to join me for tea? " She asks, tilting her head with a polite smile. " I have exactly 30 minutes and 21 seconds before I must return to my duties. I'd be happy to spend them with you. " And maybe figure out what's really going on with him.

[starfaite]

*YOU GOTTA [[improve customer satisfaction]],, [[Siren]]!!! TH4T [boob tube] ISN’T G0NNA GET YOU AN YTHING EXC3PT [[0 out of 10]] AND [stressed? Try this trick]!!!

*NOW [[me?]] OR 0THER [[me?]], WE W0N’T CAUSE YA AN Y TROUBLE!!! ALL WE W4NT FROM YOU IS [[account information]] AND [w4cky $tacks]!!!

Is he babbling about nonsense to a Darkner he’s never met? Yes. But if it’ll grind the tears of that cathode, than he’ll do anything he can!

@thebigshotman

 She won't say a single word to any of that because it frankly doesn't even deserve an answer. What she will do, however, is summon her sparkly, magical anime girl branded chainsaw. / @thebigshotman

[hxzelwallflower]

🍀,✨,🌼, and 🌹!

Anon asked: Spread some positivity!! - - - - - - - - - - - - 🍀 An oc rp blog I recommend ✨A multimuse blog I recommend 🌼 A blog with beautiful writing 🌹 A blog that makes me happy - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

🍀 - @gunslinginnhogtyin !! Hands down one of my favorite Ocs to write with to date. Not only does Dee provide plenty of art to go along with his story and shenanigans', but is a joy to write with overall. I would kiss Butch right on the mouth with how much joy he brings to the community, and even more how his story continues to unfold to this day.

✨ - @fairestmusesofthemall I love Fiery's content so much it's insane,, they always have the most comforting muses to write with, even with their Doc blog it's sweet to watch them write with various people.

🌼 - @peculiarbeauty If ya'll aren't following Rose, what are you doing with your life?? She always provide the best content regardless of his activity, even more with muses. Her muses are always done to a "T" with beautiful graphics to match, I love her Belle so much!!

🌹 - @thebigshotman Any notification from Ruby's muses brings a smile to my face, but their Spamton is one of my personal favorites. Not only with the amount of development Eileen & Spaul have been through, but their relationship as a whole is such a comfort to me that I often go back and read older threads between them so I can continue to come up with new things for them to do. Any and all Spamtons are welcome by Eileen, but Spaul is her number one by all accounts,, they're grossly in love it's ridiclous daskjnsa-

[timidblues]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ-ˏ͛⑅　‧̥̥͙‧̥̥ ̥ ̮ ̥ ⊹ @thebigshotman ⊹ ̥ ̮ ̥ ‧̥̥‧̥̥͙　⑅ˏ͛- What a predicament she had been faced with...to be alone, scared and injured in a place she didn't even know existed. She hadn't even have the time to understand what was happening to her before she'd been sucked into this strange world, and now, here she was― all by herself in a decrepit, dark and lonely back alley, crying to herself. Though...even if her cries were sad, scared― desperate, it remained so...quiet and weak. If someone didn't pay attention, they probably wouldn't even have noticed her weeping, except from the faint tears that were running down her pretty face and staining her round glasses that were threatening to fall off her nose. Curled up and trembling, she allowed herself to express this moment of weakness, since she didn't see anyone passing by here and assumed she was alone. Or so she thought... As soon as the long haired blonde started hearing what sounded like footsteps― her subtle sobs stopped and her body froze, starting to wipe her face dry of her tears and attempting to look normal, even if the way she was huddled against the wall would give it away. She just wanted to spare herself some embarrassment...

[mayhemmaybe]

@thebigshotman

"UEE HEE HEE!! THE FAULTY SHOPKEEP STILL TRAPPED, TRAPPED AS EVER!! COME TO PLAY A GAME??"

[codenamejudas]

*TR1CK OR [[treat yourself]] LIGHT n3R!!! GOT ANY KROMER OR [[teeth-rotting filth]] FOR YOUR 0L PAL SPAMTON???

He holds out his hands expectantly. He looks more like a homeless man begging for money than someone who’s just partaking in a Halloween tradition.

@thebigshotman

Don't worry, Spamton, Judas looks the same way half the time, "How 'bout both?"

[burnt-multimuse]

[ @thebigshotman​ // pillow get ]

----

Seeing Spaul’s confusion, Cobalt very quickly began trying to smooth out their feathers with their hands to fix their appearance a little. The last thing they wanted was to drive him away.

“No, no this is fine. Really. Come in.”

They opened the door a little wider to give Spaul room to step into the tiny shop. Most of the visible area was full of racks and shelves of various pillows and cushions. Today these racks had been pushed closer together than usual to make room for a massive stretch of fabric being sewn into a pillow next to one wall. There was a decently sized terrarium with a Light World spider beside the pillow in progress; this was covered up as soon as Spaul entered the shop, in case he was a bug pecker like everyone else here. The whole shop smelt strongly of NEO, particularly Spafnir and something adjacent.

The lack of a NEO form was incredibly disappointing to them, though it also raised many questions. They had met a few Spamtons now and all of them had NEO forms. Some of them used that form exclusively. So what was this supposed to mean?

“Not anymore? You mean you lost it? It’s not permanent? Did someone take it from you?” They seemed almost distressed by this, the feathers they had just smoothed down puffing up again. Even in their panic though they seemed to refuse to entertain the idea this could have happened willingly. Who would give that up?

As with most Addisons, talking about their products seemed to flip some kind of switch.

“Spafnir-feather pillows? You’re in luck! Exclusive! Won’t find them anywhere else in the city!! Live preview!!”

They lead Spaul over to a corner that was more strictly ordered than anything else in the shop. It was immaculately kept, with a perimeter that the mess was not allowed to seep into. In this corner were the body pillows, each of them with Spafnir plastered on them. Some were more tasteful and almost holy in their depiction, though a couple of the more suggestive ones still remained. Cobalt seemed very proud of these.

“100% Authentic Feathers inside!! Ethically sourced!! Just ask Spafnir Himself!! Soft! Comfortable!!! You will love it!! Alternative designs negotiable!!”

[spam-1997]

@thebigshotman​ Sent: ❝  *H3Y SPAZ HEY SPAZ HEY-Y-Y-Y

Spaul is running up to his identical twin with the speed of a racecar, eventually frame-skipping to a point where he’s right on top of him. His smile is wider than ever, and his voice-even his commercials-have an enthusiastic tone to them.

*I MET B4CK UP WITH MY [All we do is Advertise!] AND GUESS WHAT???? WE’RE [Friend Request Accepted] AGA1N!!! 

*OH BOY DO I H4VE A [[feel good news stories]] FOR YOU!!

  ❞      

⇨    He spots them coming and makes big wide dots appear in his eyes before stumbling backwards in vain, before he’s inevitable practically nose to nose with them and he let’s out a anxious fit of laughter, jolting his head side to side at the startling.  “ * AAAAAA----  WHATWHATWHAT???   .... [ huh ? ] ”   He stops to look at them, manic smile weakening.  “ * SO IT ALL.... [ Smooth Sailing ] ?  NO [ FIGHT ] NO NOTHING ???  I-I-I-I MEAN-- I MEAN THAT’S  [ Fantastic! ] THAT’S--- THAT’S--  [ Unbelievable ! ]  I- I REALLY CAN’T [ Believe it or        ] YOU’VE GOTTA BE PULLING MY [ Arm and a leg ] !!!! ”  

He’s clawing through his hair, whether from happiness or panic, it’s hard to tell.