Sam @sparkling-samm - Tumblr Blog

Hello! I'm Sam!

I post my art and opinions on my interests <3 You can find my art posts under #Sam's Sparkling Art and my non-art posts under #Sam's Yapping

Current Hyperfixation: Overwatch

Favorite Character: Mizuki

Favorite Ships: Poolverine, Spideytorch, Superbat, Twipie, Emmajean, Mizuyang, Leshley

Fandoms: Marvel, X-men, Monster High, TADC, TMNT, RDR2, MLP, FNAF, Musicals, Hades 1&2, Overwatch

Thanks for checking out my blog!

#My Post #My blog #My art #Sam's Sparkling Art #Sam's Yapping

proxy616

This comparison is going around.

tartapplesauce

Obadiah Stane and personal space

In the “Avengers” movie, there’s one scene where Tony Stark puts a hand on Steve Rogers’ shoulder and Steve throws it off and speaks angrily to Tony.

There’s been some back-and-forth about what was going on: in one interpretation, Tony was trying to be genuinely friendly and casual with Steve, who over-reacted. In another interpretation, Tony was pulling a ploy with Steve that Obadiah Stane had pulled with Tony.

I favour the second interpretation, and here’s why.

In the first “Iron Man” movie (and this really shouldn’t be a spoiler by now), Obadiah Stane is the villain working behind the scenes to have Tony Stark killed and to take over the company. We get a lot of scenes of Obie (you’ll permit the affectionate diminutive, I hope) and Tony together, where Obie is standing very close to Tony and encroaching on his personal space.

It’s been suggested Obie doesn’t understand, or has a different understanding, of personal space; that he’s using closeness as a form of demonstrating intimacy with Tony (knew the father before him, knew Tony since he was born, is a close family friend). I dispute this: I think Obadiah Stane is very much aware of the parameters of personal space and deliberately encroaches upon them as a dominance/status display.

He even does it with Howard Stark - and here we see the beginning of a pose that will be repeated again and again (crappy screencaps courtesy of moi-même):

Here Obie is trying to portray an image (and this is a publicity shot for a magazine, in-movie) of equality and partnership with Howard Stark. It fits into the personal mythos he creates and retails for the next thirty years, as he constantly says to Tony “Me and your dad” in some shape or form.

But Obadiah Stane and Howard Stark were not partners in the business. It’s Stark Industries, not Stark and Stane Industries (and really, in the context of getting their start making weapons during the Second World War, company initials such as “SS” would have been unfortunate). Tony is Howard’s heir, not Obie (and there’s a huge wellspring of resentment there about that for Stane).

Obie is, when it comes down to it, an employee just like Pepper. Pepper is very aware, despite how close she is to Tony and the unique part she plays in his life, that he’s the boss and she’s the personal assistant (see her protests at the charity ball about how it looks when Tony drags her out to dance). He may be a very important and powerful one, he may have a sizeable share of the stock in the company, but when it comes down to it - Howard Stark did not make him a partner and Tony Stark can, if push comes to shove, fire him.

This is Tony Stark with someone he’s comfortable with. Rhodey is sitting very close, he’s touching Tony, but only with the tips of his fingers. He doesn’t have his arm around Tony or his hand grasping his shoulder. Although he does get into Tony’s personal space, he’s respectful of the boundaries.

And Tony is listening to him - he’s deflecting or ignoring what Rhodey is saying, but he’s looking at him and listening to him and not (yet) trying to get out from under him.

Okay, let’s look at Tony’s first press conference when he’s back from Afghanistan and has just dropped the bombshell that he’s shutting down Stark Industries’ weapons manufacture.

This is before Tony even speaks. Obie is asserting control here - that’s what it reads to me. He’s reaching across the distance between them, so there’s a contradiction between the gap between them and the seemingly friendly gesture bridging it - there’s no eye contact, and it looks awkward.

This is Obie when Tony is first going ‘off the tracks’ (coming out from behind the podium, getting everyone to sit down on the floor); this is Obie reacting with his first instinct: assert and regain control.

This is after Tony’s bombshell, and this is what Obie always does: plasters on a big smile, puts his hands on/arms around Tony, talks over him, and hustles him out of the way.

This is not someone unaware of personal space; this is someone using it to his advantage. He is seeking to make himself the dominant figure by seeming bigger and broader than he is (stretching out his arms to encircle Tony). Look at his expression: inwardly he’s seething, of course he’s angry - even when we don’t yet know his real reasons for rage, we assume he’s got to be angry at Tony for pulling this stunt without telling him - but he’s aware all the time of the public gaze on them, so he puts on the big ol’ friendly grin, takes hold of Tony and physically displaces Tony.

He’s exerting control over the situation by exerting control over Tony.

After the press conference, we have the scene with the arc reactor. Obie reveals his knowledge that Tony has managed to make a minaturised, efficient version and insists on seeing it. Tony tries to get out of him how he found out - did Pepper tell him? Rhodey? But Obie keeps insisting “Show me. Show me. Show me.”

And Tony does. He doesn’t refuse Obie, he doesn’t retain bodily autonomy (and this is after he’s been held captive and tortured, so control over who does and does not get to see his injuries should be very important to him - e.g. the refusal to go to the hospital). He’s used to giving in to Obie, he’s used to Obie encroaching on his physical space (it’s maybe a bit much to say he’s been trained or conditioned to do so, but he doesn’t tell Obie ‘No’ outright at any stage):

Now comes the really subtle bit, the master-stroke of showing Obie’s exertion of dominance and control: it’s when he buttons up Tony’s shirt for him

Big deal, sez you. Guy has his arm in a sling, why shouldn’t he need a friendly hand doing up his shirt?

Because:

(a) Tony was able to unbutton his shirt himself, though he did have to take the sling off to do it. If he buttoned up his own shirt, this would indicate he’s the one in control: he chose to unbutton and show his chest with the arc reactor to Obie, and now he’s hiding it again by his own choice

(b) But it wasn’t Tony’s free choice to show the arc reactor in that place at that time; it was Obie’s badgering that made him unbutton his shirt and reveal his secret. Tony wouldn’t need a hand doing up his shirt if Obie hadn’t insisted on seeing for himself - and we don’t know that Tony does need the help; presumably he dressed himself that much beforehand (even if, say, Pepper had to tie his tie for him).

© What Obie is doing here is infantilising Tony. He’s emphasising his self-appointed role as a replacement parental figure (“your old man and me”, Obie as the family friend, Obie as Howard’s stand-in). He’s putting himself in the role as the one in charge, the dominant one, and by extension Tony’s words and acts are those of a petulant toddler. Obie makes Tony show him the arc reactor and Tony doesn’t say ‘no’ because you don’t say ‘no’ when your parents tell you to do something. You may complain and bargain and try to get out of it, but you do it eventually.

If Tony doesn’t need help dressing himself, Obie is regressing him to the state when parents and caregivers do up buttons and tie shoelaces for children. Tony is the child here, and Obie is the adult. And lastly, Obie is claiming his property - ‘you belong to me, the arc reactor belongs to me’. Putting his hands on Tony like that is a possessive act; we’ll see the mirror of ‘the hands on the chest’ when Obie fingers (sorry, there’s no other word for it) the hole in the chest of Tony’s ‘box of scraps’ suit of armour where the first arc reactor was, in Raza’s tent.

And what does Obie do immediately after he sees the arc reactor in Tony’s chest and buttons up his shirt for him, hiding his property away from public view?

Why, it’s the big ole grin and arm around the shoulder once again! Getting into Tony’s personal space, pulling Tony close. And Tony is exhibiting all kinds of avoidant behaviour - there’s little eye contact, he tries to get away from Obie as much as he can without physically throwing him off.

Tony only touches Obie as a last-ditch effort to claim equality and get away from him - the hand on Obie’s upper arm in the image above (which is not as aggressively grasping a hold as Obie’s hand on Tony’s arm).

Obie has a pattern of laying hands on Tony to re-inforce his attempts at exerting control. He does it in private (and nobody else, even Rhodey, touches Tony like this even when they’re arguing) EDIT: i neglected this point, that it’s always Obie initiating contact; I’m open to correction on this, but I don’t remember a scene where Tony was the one to hug/put a hand on Obadiah first, which again re-enforces that it’s about control and dominance - Obie is the one with the authority to touch whomever he likes and the confidence to do so, backed up with the undercurrent of physical threat by the ‘bigger stronger’ displays (humans are not pack animals, but we have enough animal psychology to recognise and respond to signals of fighting for dominance) :

We see the same pattern in the ‘smile and pose for the photos’ on the steps after the charity ball:

Here, Obie has forced the pose: he’s the one telling Tony “smile and pose for the photo”. And at the same time he’s dropping his bombshell (‘I’m the one who took out the injunction against you, surprise!’), he’s doing the ‘friendly arm around the shoulder’ bit again.

It’s not just Tony he does it to:

This is not Obie being friendly to an underling; this is Obadiah Stane demanding why they can’t recreate the arc reactor technology in miniture as Tony did.

So let’s compare the two poses we started off talking about:

Notice any similarities?

Wonder why Steve might take a ‘friendly’ overture as an aggressive act designed to signal dominance, control and superior status?

Tony, whether he realises it or not, learned that trick from Obie. And Steve, who grew up as a ninety-pound weakling in Brooklyn, knows all about why you don’t let (bigger) guys treat you like that: they’re not friends or on friendly terms at that stage of the movie, this isn’t a gesture of friendship.

Yes, Steve lets Bucky do that, and it’s precisely in the context of Bucky demonstrating that he’s the protector, the big strong guy, the alpha male rescuing his little buddy from the bullies; they’re friends, but it’s still unconscious condescension on Bucky’s part to Steve:

ssironstrange

this is a wonderful post going into just how much of a fucking disgusting creep obadiah really is to tony, and reinforces my stance on how everything about the two of them is a prime example of a toxic and dangerous relationship.

and also a sad insight into the lingering effects of it all on tony.

sawed-on-shotgun

the human body when you use it and exist in it

crabussy

what's the most ridiculous reason you've ever blocked someone. I'm talking complete nonissues. things that don't even matter. I've blocked someone for saying cloven hooves look ugly on unicorns

crabussy

you understand the post

kalichnikov

“Terf is a slur used to silence us” dang bitch I wish it worked shut the fuck up

parakeet

Give a man a leaf and he will eat it. Teach a man to leaf and he will go away

marzipanandminutiae

posts that could have also been in a newspaper in 1910 on a slow day

holy-comics-batman

Peter and Johnny's reactions to Bobby coming out I can NOT. Nobody would be saying this unless they were also queer.

(Iceman (2017) #3)

n3oncyan

Aphrodite from Hades ✨💕

popsunner

So there’s this huge dudebro in my class, who, yesterday, sat next to me. And I’m sitting there sweating because like… I’m wearing my shirt with the lesbian flag on it, and he’s the most popular jock in school, and always has this look on his face that say ‘I can and will kill you’. He looks me up and down, stares at me for a minute and then goes, “So. Girls in skirts and long socks, am I right?”

To which I nodded solemnly, both out of agreement, surprise and also a healthy amount of awkward fear. He nodded and went, “You get it.”

I said, “Yep.” He fistbumped me, and on went our lives.

popsunner

Oh! I forgot to mention! I saw him at lunch the same day, and he ran up to me, tapped me on the shoulder, pointed at this super sweet girl who comes to GSA and asked if she’s gay. I told him he should ask her because that’s not my place and he said he would.

I thought that would be the end of it.

Except ten minutes later he came back and told me he found out (she’s bi) and that both of us have a shot. I said “You more than me.” because he’s attractive and popular.

But this wholesome dumbass looked really confused and asked, “Because I’m tall?’

popsunner

So this isn’t lesbian/jock solidarity but I thought you guys would want to know-

My math teacher was trying to fix the rolling whiteboard and he just offhand said “This would be easier with a wrench”

And deadass, dudebro said “Hang on” and then proceeded to pull a fucking wrench out of his backpack

popsunner

Update- after school today he saw me in the library and he didn’t say anything? He just pointed at the book he was holding and I gave him a thumbs up because it’s a pretty good book, and he went “Yes!” Really quiet and pumped his fist and then left

popsunner

Okay so today he asked me if I know how to help people having a panic attack and I was like yeah? And he smiled at me and then went “cool I think I’m having one”

And I was like what the fuck Colin we’re in the middle of Tech class sit down and we went out in the hall and sat there for a while and he told me about the test he’s stressed about so we kind of went over his study guide and when he was feeling better he kind of like… smacked his head against mine gently? And I helped him up even though he’s almost a foot taller than me and yeah

popsunner

Today at lunch we walked to the football field and laid in the grass and I told him thank you for being my friend (because I don’t have that many) and fistbumped me and said, “You always looked so nice and chill, how could I not want to be your friend?”

And honestly y’all, I would’ve started crying if he hadn’t sneezed and accidentally smacked me

annabanannabeth

xandromedan

@hellsite-hall-of-fame this is a legendary post

wholesomepostarchive

10/11/2020

digitalmyyth

Sorry I drew this instead of just drawing Grace in a dress. I think trying to understand how weird humans are about clothing would b really annoying

imfloatingwhatthe

Being loved for the first time since childhood must feel weird.

cheeso

shower gel label: immerse your self in this new “Me Time” luxury fruity tooty. abandon all sense of identity and dissolve Your memories into this soothing chemical broth One billion melons are in this tube… use them wisely