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@sparklynerddonutgiant
Eating disorder goals:
#1: do a body check once a day to track progress
#2: take lax once a week (tuesday)
I have decided to stop doing these goals. I don't think I need them anymore, because I have been trying harder to not binge as much lately and exercise more. But I'll just leave them here for now in case I want to try some more soon
I'm gonna take laxatives tonight for the first time in years lmao😫
Wish me luck.. I'm actually kind of excited.
When eating normally feels like bingeing used to, restricting feels like eating normally used to, and fasting feels like restricting used to.. you know it's getting bad.
The day after a binge vs. a few days after a binge
(I'm sorry I look naked lol. My pants are always falling down.)
Could I have some feedback please?
Body check
I need some advice if you guys don't mind. Do you think it's okay to take laxatives the day before I weigh myself?
It's just that I find it impossible to shit on my own and I feel like it's only accurate when my body is not so full of food that I just can't digest. But it feels like cheating somehow.
And people have told me it causes bloating and you can become dependent on them. But the reason it feels like cheating is people say it's the water weight you lose when you take laxatives, but not actual weight.
Body check
Just a reminder for myself: if I have more than 500 cals, I have to complete one session of exercise. Also, I will not be restricting super low anymore. I'll even try doing 800 for a couple days.
Me when I'm fasting: oh this is the worst feeling ever. I wish I could eat.
Me when I binge: oh this is the worst feeling ever. I need to fast again.
Having an eating disorder means constantly having to choose between physical pain (starvation) and emotional pain (bingeing).
When you haven't eaten in two days but you gain weight anyway because you can't shit
TW
*Having a mental breakdown in the bathroom because I ate an apple* aka your average Wednesday night
Tw
Progress maybe? These are not before and after pictures.
Ojamajo Doremi Fanart
Okay so..
Yes I binged again this weekend. But I think I'm making progress because I didn't binge until 6:30 on Friday and usually I do earlier. Then on Saturday I actually did binge again as I usually do, but it wasn't as bad as it usually is because I kind of just.. tried to stick with having a big meal at around 8 instead of bingeing, and I also purged and exercised after this, though not much came up. Then I did eventually binge, but it was at 5 am when I couldn't sleep. So, maybe if it's at 5am.. perhaps it was actually sunday that I started bingeing? And my binge was 4 cupcakes, so it definitely wasn't as bad as it usually is. Then I would have purged after that, but I was too tired. So, does this sound like progress to you guys? Hopefully I will binge even less next time.
I'm trying to work on bringing my binges down from three days a week to only two.
me: *binges*
me: *gains weight*
ed:
Tw
Anybody else here struggle with weekend binges? I'm trying to decrease them, but it's really hard.
