Sparrrkllees! @sparrrkllees - Tumblr Blog

I really wish there was an option on those Customer Service Surveys that says specifically, “The representative I spoke to was lovely and helpful and deserves all of the raises but I think that you, as a corporation, should die in a fire.”

stydixa

I turned to a friend for comfort, and instead I found everything that I’ve ever been looking for my whole life. And now, here we are, with our future before us, and I only want to spend it with you; my prince, my soulmate, my friend.

extrajordinary

GUYS. THERE WAS DRIVE-THROUGH IN ANCIENT ROME. FINDING OUT THIS ALONE IS WORTH THE COST OF MY MASTERS IN HISTORY.

[From Daily Life of the Ancient Romans by David Matz]

thatdangerous-deactivated202112

*rolls up to the window* yeah gimme a number V combo

revedas

“I’ll have two number IXs, a number IX large, a number VI with extra ambrosia, a number VIII, two number XLVs, one with cheese, and a large goblet of wine.”

fortooate

hail, I am Gaius Furius, welcome to Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives

vonisv

“YEAH CAN I GET A FVCKIN VVVVHHH….VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVHHHHHHHHH…BVRGER?”

stability

taki-sensei

kimoramay-deactivated20170907

I was told recently about a school that was shamed into changing its school motto. The motto was “I hear, I see, I learn.” Nothing wrong with that per se. Unfortunately the motto was in Latin, and the Latin for “I hear, I see, I learn” is “audio, video, disco”.

wonderfulworldofmichaelford

What the fuck that’s the best school motto ever change it back

ruthyless-deactivated20140511

when i was younger i had a really bad fear of danny devito when i was going to sleep so my older brother gave me a watch that he set to like 8 hours ahead so that it was always daytime on the watch when i was asleep and he told me it would confuse danny devito and he would think it was daytime and get scared of the sun and leave me alon

tardis-mind-palace

Your brother is the best

elrondbaggins

Who the fuck changed this from vampires to Danny devito

aliceinpunderland-blog

the real question is why I was completely ready to accept that this person had a debilitating childhood fear of Danny Devito

theinturnetexplorer

Growing up with Pets

sarahbbean

@cbushereicome

celtic-hufflepuff

i wanted this post to never end

literallysame

katswenski

Seats are not an option. My website – My Facebook page – See me on LINE Webtoon!

digoxin-purpurea

apply for jobs you’re not qualified for! audit upper-level classes! get drunk with your TAs! see that poster advertising that lecture series? go there take notes and ask questions! thank the presenter for talking about this topic you love! if the class is full before you register, email the professor and ask if they can squeeze you in! RAISE YOUR HAND! tell the disability accomodation office to do their goddamn job! ask for help! file complaints! go to class in your pajamas and destroy the reading! you got this! you KNOW you got this! be arrogant enough to learn EVERYTHING! take your meds! punch a velociraptor in the dick! fear is useless and temporary! glory is forever! shed your skin and erupt angel wings! help out! spread your sun!

i had a really good morning! you deserve a really good morning! kill anyone who says you don’t and build a throne from their bones!

sirjefetheboss-deactivated20210

Oddly inspiring

this-isnt-my-bra

Once my friend Henry was accused of wearing wireless headphones by a substitute so she said for him to hand them over so he took them off and handed them to her. Then later on she asked him a question and he didn’t respond so she said it louder and he still didn’t respond. She asked why he was not responding and he said “I can’t understand you ma'am, you took my hearing aids.”

lolodapsycho-deactivated2017030

HOLY SHIT

mamoru

one time we had a sub that was handing back papers and called my name. I asked if someone could grab it for me and she started mocking me for not even standing up. taunting me asking why I was not walking up to the front to get the paper myself.

my classmates went dead silent and after the sub’s laughter ended someone informed her that the wheelchair parked nearby belonged to me

silver-rayn123-deactivated20181

I had a sub in English once, on presentation day. And everyone goes up and does their thing, and then its my turn. The whole time im stuttering and mixing up my words, having to stop and re-say my sentences. The rest of the class is used to this and claps. However, by the time its over, the teacher is 100% done.

Starts saying horrible thing about how im going to have to get over my ‘fear of public speaking’ and how she’s heard 8 year olds give better presentations (plus worse things but I don’t really member them). By then im in tears and on the brink of a panic attack, and then she starts telling me off for crying The rest of the class is horrified. Then this boy stands up. He never been my friend and we never really got along, but he’d never bullied me. He told her in a pissed off, cold voice that in freshmen year I got a concussion and that I never really recovered from it, so all that was medical related and I couldn’t help it. Then he starts telling her off and the rest of the class joins him. The teacher is mortified and tries to cover her ass, but the whole class walked out and that boy took me by the shoulders and we all walked to the principles office and told him what had happened. Lets just say she isn’t teaching anymore. Also, turns out that boy had a sister like me, who couldn’t really speak. We’ve been best friends for 8 years and i’ll be his best woman at his wedding next year. The moral is that Teachers, even subs, and adults shouldn’t scold kids before knowing the whole story, because shit like that can fuck up kids self-esteem for the rest of their life.

quixylvre

When I was thirteen, I had to have spinal surgery. When my doctor said I was allowed to attend school again, he said I had to use a wheelchair when on school grounds. My first day back at school, my special-ed teacher had put up a banner in her classroom that read, “There is no elevator to success. You must take the stairs.” I asked what that meant regarding my wheelchair, and she gave me detention for “disrespecting her authority”. The next week she gave us a homework assignment to design a poster that could potentially be used as a Public Service Advertisement. On the due-date, I handed this in.

My special-ed teacher was fucking OUTRAGED. She wanted me expelled for ridiculing her authority in front of the other students. The principal proclaimed my work to be “a masterpiece of satirical genius” and vetoed the special-ed teacher’s attempt to expel me.