because this basically sums up sparta's life.

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@spartawinslow
because this basically sums up sparta's life.
wow i missed a lot this week o.o sorry. hi guys. i'm back i'll get to work.
  When Sparta first felt pain, she at once came to believe it was a necessity, a feeling that alerted her and assured her she was real. When she first saw pain, she began to believe it was beauty in sound and expression. It was art, and her desire to be the artist was wildfire. She never had to learn any of this, because it was felt and known, never acknowledged or pointed. It was Sparta. She was raised into what she became and learning that other realities existed had once been a vague idea to her. Now, she was more acquainted with it than ever.
  Sparta learned there were many more feelings and emotions, thoughts and lifestyles that were set for exploration. She learned there were alternate universes stored in the privacy of thoughts and the complex simplicity of words (Sasha and Birdie.) She learned it was okay to have a friend who understood and shared the same ideas and concepts. A friend so different yet so alike. A friend who still had her mysteries (Lyra and her boy.) She learned that sometimes it's not easy to show you care, even if you really do. That unspoken relationships are easily formed in a person's mind, while the other is completely unaware. (Mr. Andrews) She learned that hatred is a powerful thing that destroys all conscience and overpowers love that isn't strongly established. (Birdie.) She learned that carefully placed mind games are strong and that smiles can be deadly for an ulcer. (Emerson and Lucas.) She learned it was okay to cry, that some people actually care. She learned there was no such thing as being the girl with no fears. She learned she was only human and that breaths could be taken, beats could be stopped, and words could be harmonized. (Josh.)Â
  What was once a beautiful painting, was now a pitiful work of art that had long been destroyed and forgotten. Sparta Winslow lacked the glow she had once radiated. Though still a young woman, her spirit had grown old. She was a muted soul aimlessly wandering through a universe she could no longer understand. That was what possibly hurt the most. What was once understandable and reachable was now a silenced confusion. It hurt more to once have had than to never have had at all. Even misery had seeped out of her and left her cluelessly exhausted with not an emotion to display. Until now.
  A large body of water stood before her in the back of her home. Weights were strapped at her ankles and her hands. Shades of purple stretched down her face beneath her eyes. A cold gust of wind blew through her choppy dark hair. She walked forward.Â
  A key rested in the palm of her hand, the key to freeing herself from her weight. To her misfortune, it freed her only of her visible obstacles and not the ones she hauled from her frightening past.Â
  Sparta dropped the key, let it sink in the water the way she would too. She watched it and felt the beginning of relief. It would all be over soon. She turned around and gave her back to the water, allowing herself one last glance at her empty home. No one would know, she had not an idea how anyone would find out. People would pretend to care, pretend they knew her, but all who truly did were long gone. Sparta did not let this stop her. She stretched her arms to the side and felt the weights drag her back immediately. Her fingers touched it first, then her back and her legs until she was entirely submerged and peacefully sinking down towards the soft concrete. Her eyes had not closed. She stared at the skies from where she laid and finally decided to cry. It had been years since she'd last wept.
  Her body shook and trembled. She closed her eyes and could feel the hot trails against the cold ones that failed to caress her face. Water began to enter her lips and dominate her throat. It was with one last might that her muted soul cried for sound. Her eyebrows pulled, her fists tightened and her lungs filled. She screamed, screamed for everything and everyone, for those she'd lost and for what she'd gained, for the stupidity that was her life and the pity she so hated. She screamed because she couldn't be heard. She screamed because it was pain, a last reminder that she was alive and that she was real. She'd longed to feel real, she longed for the consequences. Sparta was on electrifying fire that sizzled carelessly. She turned to her side and had a last glance at hope. Hope in such a hopeless state. There in the midst of the water shined the key to her freedom. But she refused to reach for it. Because she knew there was no such thing as freedom anymore. And if there was, nothing would get her closer to it than death itself. Her eyes remained on it even as the frigid waters operated her lungs and caused her expiration. It was in that last second of life that Sparta felt peace.Â
  Darkness consumed her. She parted an eye, shut it again. Opened both eyes and stared at what she was before looking at the odd figure that stood before her. Her lips trembled but a scratchy sound managed its way through. "Josh?"Â
'YO' Get Up 'DOOD' || Sposh
Once at the very bottom in a body of water that was over ten feet deep, Josh stopped and watched Sparta struggle against his ankle, trying to pull him to the top. Not that she wasnât strong, but it was clear that she needed air, and she wouldnât give up so easily. Crossing his arms over his chest, he waited to see what her next move would be.
His crossed arms and little effort to move had Sparta's eyebrows pulling together as she suddenly let go of Josh's ankle. Mimicking his actions, she too crossed her arms and swam down so her face was across his, her infamous frown pulled tightly. Letting her expressions ease momentarily, she raised an eyebrow and gave the lightest of smiles. No longer able to keep water out of her lungs, she rushed to the surface where air was pleasantly greeted. Watching Josh's figure below her, she simply smiled and moved around the water. Wherever Josh stood, she was directly across, a deadly scary small smile plastered on her lips, and her arms crossed before her just as his had.Â
'YO' Get Up 'DOOD' || Sposh
This was it! He was going to make it! Josh laughed to himself before feeling the tug at his ankle. But he had gotten so far away! Or so he thought. He stopped swimming, knowing how strong Sparta could be, and then turned to see how close she was. Josh had moved only what? Three inches? He groaned, but thought of a better idea rather than surrender. Taking a deep gulp of air, Josh dove down beneath the surface of the water and swam down, knowing Sparta would be pulled with him.
Josh may have been prepared to go underwater, taking a large breath of air before entering the waters, but Sparta was taken by surprise, bringing with her what little air she could take before being completely underwater. She could always let go of his leg and resurface, but she refused to do so, following Josh instead as he dove deeper. Though she tried to pull in the other direction, she found herself easily flowing behind him.Â
'YO' Get Up 'DOOD' || Sposh
Her hand against his cheek left a sense of warmth and comfort within him. Her slow movements spelled trouble, but Josh ignored it and focused more on his desire to press his lips against hers. The shock of the water hit him just as he felt the absence of her hand against his cheek. Joshâs mouth was slightly ajar so water seeped itâs way within. He smirked, closing it in and quick swam to her, leaning in like he would kiss her cheek, he spit the water in her ear and quick moved away from her, laughing.
As he tried to near her again, Sparta tried moving sideways without making it much too obvious she was moving away from him. Having not been quick enough, he was at her side in a second and she let herself pause for what seemed a peck on the cheek. How wrong she was. Warmer liquid sprayed against her ear and Sparta half shrieked while tapping her ear. "You're so gross, oh my God!" She narrowed her eyes while he laughed, not bothering to hide her own amusement as she swam behind him. Keeping in a close distance, she let her hand clasp around his ankle, wrestling with his leg while keeping afloat.Â
'YO' Get Up 'DOOD' || Sposh
The chlorine in the pool stung his eyes, but Josh forced them to stay open. He took in her form underwater. She looked amazing, like a goddess from the deep sea. He longed to touch her hair, tangle his fingers along each beautiful strand and wrap it around them. Just as he was about to kiss her beneath the water, she broke away and resurfaced. Sitting at the bottom for a moment, he stared up at her feet, then Josh followed her to the top. Of course, out of the water, her hair fell around her face, but she still looked just as beautiful. Wrapping his hand in her wet hair he smiled down at her.
Taking big breaths of air, Sparta floated calmly as she pushed her hair out of her eyes. Some of it stuck to her skin in thin strands all around her, but she barely minded any of it. She wanted to slide a hand through her hair, but Josh had already quietly made his way to her, his hand wrapping around her hair. She didn't understand exactly why he felt the need to do so but didn't complain or shift in position. A reflection of his smile played on her own lips as she placed a hand on his cheek. She began to close space pretending she was about to kiss him before splashing his face and laughing. "I'm sorry, I don't know how to be romantic and I couldn't help it." Sparta giggled her hand sliding off his cheek.Â
'YO' Get Up 'DOOD' || Sposh
Popping up from the water for more air, he called her name in search of her, but she wasnât there. Circling the room with his eyes, he noticed her figure moving swiftly under water. Josh grinned and dove back under to meet her through the liquid.
Josh appeared before Sparta few seconds after she'd entered, her lips quickly forming a smile. Her hair that usually closely framed her face now flowed around her but thankfully did not obstruct her sight. Her hand searched for his, pushing water out as she weaved her fingers with his own. She tangled their legs together and her face zoomed into his until she accidentally grinned and immediately let go to return to the surface for air.Â
'YO' Get Up 'DOOD' || Sposh
"Only if you promise to âneedâ mouth to mouth," returning her wink with one of his own. Pulling her by the hand he lead them through the training center, a few awkward stares from other tributes, but he didnât care. Josh smiled and grinned at all the faces who were judging him so much. He hoped Sparta felt the same. Once inside, he debated whether or not to remove his shorts or play them off as his actual swimsuit. He went with the latter. Not waiting for her, he just cannon balled straight into the water.
As they walked through the center filled with tributes, it was clear just how differently Josh and Sparta could behave. Josh's back facing her, her glare almost immediately intensified as she stared and judged each tribute individually. At one point she bit the air in a tribute's direction but returned to an unfazed expression as they entered the pool. Sliding off Josh's jacket and placing it off to the side where it would not get wet, she quickly walked back and slid into the pool's waters. Underwater for very few seconds, she familiarized herself with its temperature before dunking herself in again. Despite the burn, she opened her eyes and blinked repeatedly as she adjusted her sight.Â
'YO' Get Up 'DOOD' || Sposh
Self consciously, Josh looked over his body after her first comment. âWhy? Whatâs wrong with it?â Because he really IS an idiot, he didnât understand how HOT he truly is. By her second comment, they were inside the elevator and descending to the lobby. Giving her hand a squeeze, he confidently laughed. âOf course I can swim. I think the better question is: can you swim?â
The sleeves of his jacket only a bit longer than her arms, Sparta softly hit his face with the end of it before entering the elevator. "You're silly, a silly hot boy." Raising her eyebrows, she smiled as he laughed, "I'll pretend I can't if you'll be the lifeguard." She winked before shaking her head and grinning while tugging at his hand as she walked out of the elevator, "That was not at all sexual, and you remember that." Â
'YO' Get Up 'DOOD' || Sposh
Josh and Sparta had decided to check all of the excitement coming from the pool. Thinking he had enough time before they decided to meet, Josh took a âshortâ nap. The pounding at his door jostled him awake and he jumped up from the couch in a daze. Why are your arms cold? SWIMMING! Duh! Josh was an idiot. He quick ran into his room calling, âJUST A MINUTE!â over his shoulder, and ripped off his shirt as he did. Leaving the scrap of clothing in the hallway. Stripping down to next to nothing, he pulled on his swimsuit that his stylist laid out for him. It was a speedo, but he didnât have enough time to care about his leg hair. Pulling another pair of shorts over, he grabbed a jacket for Spartaâs cold arms and sprinted to the door. Opening it, he smirked at her figure and tossed her the jacket. Leaning over to give her cheek a small peck he raised his eyebrows and asked if she were ready to leave.
Not replying, Sparta leaned against the wall and crossed her arms. When his door finally opened she rolled her eyes as he smirked and caught his jacket. Taking his kiss, she slipped on his jacket and took his hand. Nodding in reply to his eyebrow gesture, they both started walking down the hallway. Â "I will never understand why a fifteen year old boy is allowed your body." She placed a smirk of her own but looked forward while they waited for an elevator. Eyeing him only briefly, she cocked her head to the side, "So, can you swim?"Â
'YO' Get Up 'DOOD' || Sposh
Parading through the halls in a swimming suit that flattered Sparta's physique, she made her way to Josh's door. Her face was a hue lighter and her eyelashes not as thick, her lips remained flat in her careless expression but their color was not as dark as usual. This was the first time she had not worn any make up since she'd first arrived at the penthouse, but it didn't bother her. She enjoyed having dark shades of black covering her eyelids, but was not dependent of it. Besides, who wore make up to a swimming pool? Now directly in front of Josh's door, Sparta knocked on it before whistling loudly. "Josh, hurry up, it's late and my arms are cold!"Â
gillies might be in a horror movie
I knew a girl, and they called her Lilly.
But Her friends called her something that was quite silly.
You see, she never knew a guy like Billy,
But she couldnât say no when she saw his willyâŠ.
Darkest Just Before the Dawn | Sposhasha
Josh rolled his eyes, but was actually very thankful mentally. Of course he was tired, sleeping on the floor was no picnic for him. He sighed, probably a bit too dramatically, then walked to the other side of the bed. âFine,â he said as he climbed in. âFine.â Josh repeated himself with a yawn. He wrapped his arms around her waste and pulled her closer to him as they both laid on their sides. âFine,â he whispered again, then was already lost to sleep.Â
Evidently content with the fact that Josh would join her no matter how his expressions played the idea off, Sparta made herself comfortable under his hold. She wrapped her own arms around his arm and let him pull her closer by the waist, sealing all space between them and forming a warm cocoon. Feeling his hot breath by her ear, Sparta was sure he'd fallen asleep, and soon after the pills kicked in, so did she, bringing the blanket even more tightly around them as the darkness crept in.Â
Darkest Just Before the lol | Sposhasha
Josh felt like he was being a parent to a misbehaving child. âBack to bed, Missy!â He dropped her hand, and pointed to the bed sternly. âSeriously, just at least rest your eyes. You know you want toâŠâ He smirked, and then yawned.
Staring at Josh between half open eyes, Sparta knelt down on his bed and made her way to the origin of it, by the pillows. Then she waited, and stared at Josh expectantly. "I'm not going to sleep until you come sleep with me."
Darkest Just Before the lol | Sposhasha
Josh frowned at her objection. Well, at least she was feeling better. He could tell by the way she objected. âNonsense,â he said feeling quite like a British sex god. âJust take my hand, Sparta. Your mentor can survive without you for a day or two.â His hand still extended toward her, he didnât wait for her to take it from him. Instead, he grabbed her hand, and pulled her to a standing position. âCome on.â
Wondering whether to take his hand or ignore his hand like a not amused British sex citizen, Sparta was then tugged forward and forced to regain her balance all at once. She narrowed her eyes at Josh, watching his next footsteps. There was no way she was sleeping on his bed again if he didn't plan to. Or simply sleep if he wouldn't.