hii, we are the spawn of the stars! this is a sideblog, we follow from @starniirs
our pronouns.cc is here(link) . our tag system, which includes our emoji sign offs, is here(link) . and our member intros are here(link) !
dni/byf and collective info is below the cut!
our do not interact list includes: anti endogenics and anti willogenics. violent antishippers (supports harassment, sending threats, doxxing, etc.) and ALL proshippers ( both sides suck. we are neither, NOT "neutral" ). pro/neu/complex-contact harmful paraphilia. radqueer. radfem, terf, swerf, and all adjacent terms. truscum, transmed. anti neopronouns, anti xenogenders. anti mspec mono ( bi lesbian, pan gay, etc. ), anti "contradictory" identities. anti split attraction model. anti otherkin, anti divinekin, anti fictionkin, etc. anti selfship. anti educated self diagnosis. ( PRO ) ZIONISTS. if you are a politics only blog.
the above includes if you allow anything on our dni to be on your blog in a supportive or positive way, which also includes being "neutral" and having both sides on your blog(s).
TLDR: dont be an asshole and respect us and others! peace and love on planet earth!
PSST: we block immediately for the things listed above. if youre not sure if anything applies to you, feel free to interact without asking, we'll block ( without notifying you ) if we find anything that bothers us.
here are our boundaries/byf: this blog includes venting, which will be tagged with "vent cw" and "cw vent", but it isnt the only thing that we use the blog for! we NEED tone tags, please include when you think they are needed, or at least clarify when asked. we tend to overshare, but we try not to go overboard! we have autism and severe social anxiety, this impacts our social life and the way we interact with people very heavily, please be patient! we do not give warnings when we block blogs, even if we're mutuals. ask for instagram or discord if you want to talk, tumblr DMs arent very good.
ps: please do NOT use parts/one whole, or alters terms to refer to us!! makes us very very uncomfortable, thank you!!
okay, the giant paragraphs are over!
we are bodily 18 years old. we are a traumagenic DID system. we go by Grave and Eclipse, and use they/them pronouns when talking about the entire system/a group of sysmates ( they/them is an ok individual default, too! ). our simply plural is starspawn , feel free to add us!!
our agere/petre blog is @sourdivinity , our fandom blog is @xray4k , spytes selfship blog is @revenantlamb , and our shared nonhuman blog is @exaltedblight
Hello! I'm Ardyn, and I decided to make this guide because after talking to many systems, I've come to realize that moving from a near medianhood to a full multiplicity may encourage better function for certain systems. For us any identity blurriness brings a lot of pain that has been aided by further separation and amnesiac barriers. Before you put an awful judgement on this, remember that healing is different for everyone, and breaking down barriers isn't best for everyone. This is up to the system, there is no guilt on wanting to do what is best for your system.
RADQUEERS DONT TOUCH
This guide will hold many different exercises and ideas that have been taken from tulpamancy and my own experiences.
first I'd say get situated with identity grounding and also following the "The Body is a Car" exercise within these sources
Identity Grounding
Guide to Switching
Building up Distinction
Separate Journals/Diaries
A seperate journal or diary that nobody can write in but that headmate is a good way to help a headmate build up their identity. They will be able to write down their own experiences and their own feelings, and this seperate space gives reinforces the idea that they are ultimately apart from you.
Separate Accounts with a Separate Feed
Something that pushed for the blur was having similar feeds, seeing my interest would push me to the front and cause issues for Vincent. He ended up making his own account on reddit where he is able to join subreddits that appeal to solely his interest, and it would help keep him at front instead of pull someone else.
Distinct Hobbies
encourage your headmates to pick up hobbies that are not something you may be interested in, hobbies give way to individuality as now they may seek others who share that hobby or spaces online that appeals to that hobby.
Different Clothing and Ownership
Assign different clothing and other items to headmates, let them pick out their own jacket and may they be the only ones to wear that jacket. Let them have their own perfume, let them have their own bag, let them have their own keychain for the car keys. This won't just give you that barrier, but also can be used as a form of identity grounding during a blur. When in blur, you will be able to tell whose fronting based on what clothing makes you feel more yourself.
Different Friends
This option may be more difficult, but it works very efficiently. Let your headmates have their own friend, I mean it. Giving them someone outside the system that they themselves can solely talk to is absolutely perfect in giving that split. Interacting and communication outside the body and encouraging unmasking will do wonders.
Drop Part Language
If you really want to encourage separation, you will have to drop the idea that you are all pieces of another. This is however a preference, speak to your headmates about it. Speak to them about terms they may prefer, maybe customized role names, let them be themselves. Push to yourself too that these are different people, not parts of you. But like I said, if parts language isn't an issue for you, then you might not have to change after all :P but I recommend it for this all to work.
Identity Separating Exercises
Now as you have pushed the formation of these headmates, now it's your goal to start separating them more and more through these exercises
Remember: Fake it until you make it
Being consistent in these exercises will be great, but you also have to make sure you believe that they are working. Plurality is very much a brain game, you have power over yourself and the more you believe these separations the more they will be. Some of these exercises are purely for pushing the belief, I recommend having a collection of proof on your plurality to refer to whenever you get doubtful.
I also recommend joining a tulpamancy community such as a discord or reddit, even if you don't practice tulpamancy, these people have so much trust in themselves and the process that it starts to rub off on you.
Separation Meditation
If you are able to visualize and even after doing all the above you still feel like your headmate hasn't fully left you, this exercise may be useful. In this meditation, you are to visualize the headmate in front of you. Then repeat "___ is a separate person from me" repeatedly for however long you like once a day.
Discussions
Speak to your headmates, ask questions about their lives
Here is a good source on that
Preface It’s often difficult to find things to talk to your tulpa about, especially when you’re just starting to work on vocality, or your t
The best route to take is to discuss opinions and specifically focus on what you disagree on, this will reinforce in your mind that this person is not you, this person does not agree with you, this person has their own opinion. Focus on those ideas until they really settle, and maybe also record these disagreements in your proof collection.
Affirmations
If you are a bit too busy for these things, constant affirmation throughout the day are both simple and helpful. Here is a good list
"__ is a seperate person from me"
"the system has entirely different and seperate people"
"___ is real and a seperate person"
"the system is noticeably distinct"
at first it may feel silly, but like I said, fake it until you make it. These will reinforce ideas.
Building Up Amnesiac Barriers
This may be more controversial, but for us these barriers help a ton. I would like to say that we already had blackout amnesia to begin with, but these exercises made them "worse". There are many reasons why a system may want to have higher amnesiac barriers, ours being privacy and independence, try to avoid judgement on this decision. The Switching Guide above also has an exercise that will push lost time.
"Cancel Recall"
When a memory from another headmate tries to seep into your thought process, immediately cover that memory and say to yourself "This memory isn't mine to remember". Perhaps visualize a door closing on it or a lock appearing on that memory. Mentally assign that memory to the correct headmate and move on
Affirmation
Affirmations that may help these barriers can be used situationally, just whenever you try and remember a time another headmate fronted think "No, I don't remember"
Headspace Tools
If you have a headspace, try using creation. Imagine cutting memory ties off with everyone else that can only temporarily be connected when agreed upon by both parties. Maybe also set up a headspace memory lock system.
Using Remnants left behind
When I say this I mean use something such as text messages a headmate left behind and when scrolling through them, focus and think "This wasn't me, I don't remember typing this".
Memory Redirection
Most times it's harder to push a memory away than just redirect it. When redirecting memory, for example you start to remember something another headmate did in meatspace, recite "that wasn't me, what did I do during this time" and attempt to recall your time within the headspace instead.
FAKE IT UNTIL YOU MAKE IT, REMEMBER THAT
what do you guys think? any changes we should make? we would love to hear how this guide impacted your system!
ACK havent been active.. got our wisdom teeth taken out yesterday... been busy recovering :p
modded fnv just now too
also our friend texted us and said we were "plural coded" oh my god?? he doesnt know anything about us knowing we r plural and it made us gasp HAHA . it was about us not recognizing our voice when listening back to it in a recording :3c
modding fallout 3 using a GUIDE this time!!!!!! :D now everything wont fuck up ( hopefully )
last time we tried to do it ourselves and uuhhhh it didnt have many mods and most didn t work . oops.. then again that was back when we were just switching from vortex ( GAGGING NOISES ) to learning abt other mod managers..
( vortex is really really bad . for context. it works OK with some of the more popular skyrim mods somehow but for older games?? does NOT work. when we mod Skyrim again we're probs using mo2 cuz mo2 is our BABY now )
i really should make a new selfship blog ( its Consuming me ) but that side of tumblr is Scary to me now.. had someone come into our dms on my old one ( which was our main blog, starniirs, but we've since wiped it of all posts after this ) and they insulted us before blocking us because we reblogged one of their posts?../ really made us upset we still cant figure out what we did ( we checked their dni and what their ok-to-share f/os were and it was fine ??/ we even logged into our old account and checked their blog for a second time to see if we missed anything and we didnt!!! )
i really should make a new selfship blog ( its Consuming me ) but that side of tumblr is Scary to me now.. had someone come into our dms on my old one ( which was our main blog, starniirs, but we've since wiped it of all posts after this ) and they insulted us before blocking us because we reblogged one of their posts?../ really made us upset we still cant figure out what we did ( we checked their dni and what their ok-to-share f/os were and it was fine ??/ we even logged into our old account and checked their blog for a second time to see if we missed anything and we didnt!!! )
Okay.. figured out we likely have synesthesia. what the fukc??/ figured it was normal and that everyone had that for the longest time but its not so . ALRIGHT.
smelling, tasting, and feeling ( physically ) colors are what we experience, not sure if its Only those but theyre the daily ones at least. not 24/7 , its multiple times a day every day. it kinda goes at random? one second yellow makes us feel like we're chewing rock candy and the next it doesnt do anything. however it is always the sensation of chewing rock candy, it also needs to be an obvious and bright yellow :P other yellows are different and trigger different senses n reactions. bright red tastes really really sweet like sugar and smells like a full bouquet of flowers ( thats the closest description i can get to it ). if we see a bright yellow and a bright red next to eachother than we start grinding our teeth unconsciously cuz we taste and feel rock candy in our mouth lol
no reason to post this i just think its fun lol :33 also im sure the responses to the colors really depends on whos fronting/close to front cuz they are still reliable responses but they change every now and then. listed only the most common reactions cuz its what we would have to guess spyte has a reaction to.
more random flags :) i believe most of these also used templates from revenant-coining on deviantart ( now moved to daydreakthing )
flags in order of appearance : strawberry lemonade scent ( intended for misceverse stuff ). personal sho flag ( definition linked here(link) , created by daybreakthing here on tumblr ). "soft" themed caregiver. autocannibal archetrope. canine holothere. and a god4canine flag!!
this took 5ever but uhm agere & adjacent flags??/ theyre supposed to be themed after divinity but we have uhhh no color or visuals in the brain so it can be considered an ocean sunset theme if you dont think it looks very "divine"
templates used were by revenant-coining on deviantart ( now moved to daybreakthing ) . original download post linked here(link) . some of the ones we made with the template are edited to better fit the color palette.
flag term association in order of appearance : age dreamer, age regressor, pet dreamer, pet regressor, caregiver, guardian, babysitter, and flip.
no full image id, we are not skilled at describing complicated visual details. all of the flags have their own unique symbols. the color palette and order of colors stays consistent through each flag. the stripes are horizontal , and the colors from top to bottom are : a bright, reddish orange. a similar orange, but slightly lighter. a pale orangeish yellow. a pale blue. a warm, significantly darker blue. and a much darker, cool toned blue.
we've made six already. onto the seventh rn ( which is probably going to be a part of a set of 7 more if we have the energy today?? ), we'll share them all later i hope?. the ones we already did were pretty quick to do ( 20-30 minutes each, most of the time was getting the colors to cooperate in a palette generator. we still dont think in visuals ) but we've been taking a lot of breaks for the sake of not getting burnout too fast LOL ( we get burnout from creative activities rlly easily oops )
i really wonder why so many aac resource blogs are anti endo. its weird to me. why do they All flock over to the aac emote/emoji community . almost have half the fucking community blocked at this point its irritating And majorly upsetting
weve "stolen" some of the various blogs' pics for our own aac board ( we dont bother w discord emotes ) but it triggers our paranoia when we do so That sucks ( it also gets triggered if we manage to remember what blog made the images when we see them in the aac board . so we try not to do that unless absolutely necessary for communicating )
LMAO our irl friend being shocked over our memory 😭 i genuinely have zero recollection of the image it doesnt even look familiar. i found it and showed him cuz it was funny and i knew id never seen it before (im kinda thinking hes mixing up our chats w another friend of his but idk!!)
man i hate this brain why are visuals so hard to comprehend or create. vent below 🎀
tried flag making once more just for fun and it has never been more apparent to us that we ARE, in fact, absolutely clueless when it comes to visuals. literally no idea what to do with colors or shapes or designs or anything, no ideas. brain completely empty no inspiration no nothing. we have never even THOUGHT in images we think in purely words and script symbols ( think : unicode ) HOW DID WE FORGET THAT???? HOW. we already have a super super hard time making rentrys or pfps and text decor, how the fuck did we think we could make FLAGS?
we would Love to join mogai tumblr as term ( not flag ) coiners and such but we do not make flags, they are quite literally impossible to make with the way our brain works, its also why we quit art ( and probably the reason why we arent able to improve or change our artstyle ). and flag making is like.. THE thing for mogai blogs. we havent seen even a single blog that does text/script only content, if those were more common then we'd absolutely make a blog and join them. buuuut its not.
and of course its absolutely humiliating to not be like the majority of people in a group, even if its unlikely for anyone to genuinely dislike us for not being like the rest
it doesnt help the fact that we barely recognize regular visuals as is. we dont know the color wheel by heart. we rarely recognize peoples faces. or where the local stores are, even ones we've been to hundreds of times. or what order colors are on a flag. or how many colors there are on the flag. or what the flag looks like at all ( "i think it has yellow?" wrong, it was green! ). we only have a slightly easier time with numbers/script characters
got a cold severe enough to make us VOMIT while still having the kidney infection (not really sure if the kidney infection caused the vomiting or What but i think it was the cold mainly cuz no pain or other symptoms from the kindey madness AT ALL since the third day of antibiotics), plus our heartrate is faster than its been in a WHILE. how fun!
measured out heartrate via our wrist and fingers and uhh it was about 140 bpm :) we were laying down the entire time, and had been laying down for an hour without moving very much. no extreme emotions or anything, we were quite literally trying to SLEEP while it kept getting faster and faster. eventually it calmed down but that was AFTER we sat up in bed for about a half hour.
but ahhh yes according to the cardiologist (not our primary doctor) we saw we dont have a problem at all because we dont pass out or have obvious palpitations :) ((they only measured us w a heart monitor for a week. and we had a very good time w our symptoms for a week (has never happened to us before or after that one week of the heart monitor), which was quite possibly the worst thing that couldve happened because having a WHOLE WEEK OF LITTLE TO NO OBVIOUS SYMPTOMS ISNT GOOD WHILE WE'RE TRYING TO DOCUMENT OUR FUCKING SYMPTOMS.))
our primary doctor fully believes us and thinks that we have POTS and he has always referred to our experience as having POTS, which we ALSO fully agree with. the cardiologist however did not agree with this and likely thought we were being dramatic or lying (she didnt say this outloud, but she explained that theres a spectrum of the POTS symptoms and that you can have all the symptoms of POTS and "seemingly fit the criteria" while not actually having it bad enough for a diagnosis. makes absolutely zero fucking sense but we had to just sit through it because what the fuck else were we supposed to do), which has happened to us for every single fucking cardiologist we have ever seen. we are so fucking unlucky w cardiologists its driving me insane
anyways this was a rant about all the heart stuff on accident but uhh basically we're not feeling well :(
i think a lot of younger systems would be better off if they took a minute to stop stressing about roles or consciousness labels or headspaces or origins and just treat members of their system like random guys. that one headmate you can't tell the role of? they like hot chocolate with marshmallows and listening to the rain. you too. you need to be a random guy. being a random guy is good for everyone.
BIG agree ^^ we used to do a bit of assigning labels here and there but it was so exhausting!! its hard enough to figure out what we like and dislike so we just let everything Chill and try not to worry about it. much much easier to just Be a Random Guy
might have to get into game of thrones or house of the dragon im not sure which to watch first. we need something to watch that isnt bluey while we still have time to actually watch things :p not sure if we could read the books because we have a rather unfortunate attention span & its very difficult to put names to faces, let alone names to text descriptions (and the names we've seen are uhhhhh rather complex to look at to say the least)
