peter david strahm

44/NJ/federal agent/If you see any strange activity on here... forget about it. I'm probably okay./🔞

[specialagentpeterdavidstrahm]

Did you find it?

Yeah.

Dunkin' Donuts.

[specialagentpeterdavidstrahm]

Was bound to happen eventually. You try actually looking yet?

Drove around earlier today. We're going to try again in a few minutes. Mark is finishing up dinner.

[specialagentpeterdavidstrahm]

You good?

No. Not at all.

Apparently, Jigsaw is dead.

He decided to leave us a box. No idea where it is or what's inside.

[specialagentpeterdavidstrahm]

Stop depriving your man of affection.

First of all, do you think I'd listen to you? No.

Second of all, I am not depriving Mark of affection. The air conditioner has been working on and off. We usually keep the temperature low. I've tried to tell him that I would not like sweat sticking us together. He heard "I would not like to be anywhere near you" and "I don't want to touch you". It's true, but it's temporary. He is being dramatic for attention. Especially from his followers. He's fine sitting two feet apart until the AC is fixed. We keep all the fans upstairs so we can have some air circulation at night. He gets plenty of attention in bed. It's during the day when he becomes restless. He would like to smother me, but he doesn't want to get all sweaty after slathering himself with Bath & Body Works in the shower for an hour. Seriously, how has he not gotten a yeast infection? I digress.

Mark is fine. He just wants attention. He is making me the bad guy so that you will pity him.

[specialagentpeterdavidstrahm]

Just how many tacos did you make the poor guy eat?

Forty.

He's been in bed all day.

[specialagentpeterdavidstrahm]

UR A RAT

Oh and also happy pride month 😛

No, thanks.

[specialagentpeterdavidstrahm]

Why can't Mark get his nails done?

He's a man.

I think.

[specialagentpeterdavidstrahm]

It's kinda cute how you wanna keep him fat ❤️

How is it 'cute'? It's entirely selfish.

[specialagentpeterdavidstrahm]

what do you want him to wear instead?

A vest. A jacket. Slacks. Bowtie. A shirt. Obviously.

[specialagentpeterdavidstrahm]

Boo he can wear what he wants

No. He can't, actually.

[specialagentpeterdavidstrahm]

Why not? It's a vibe

It's not something he should be wearing in public.

I have the final say.

[specialagentpeterdavidstrahm]

Did you see Mark's wedding dress?

We have had a conversation.

He cannot wear that.

[specialagentpeterdavidstrahm]

If you ever lost a bet to Lindsey or anyone else, what color dress would you wear?

I wouldn't make a bet that would give me even a slim chance that I would end up in a dress.

[specialagentpeterdavidstrahm]

Youre 100 percent That bitch. You know that right?

I seen how you look at the people in that precinct like theyre nothing boo.

Who is this? How did you find this account?

[specialagentpeterdavidstrahm]

Ass or pussy?

Pussy.

[specialagentpeterdavidstrahm]

Hey strahm, Mark is going to dig up Angelina

Yeah. That's not going to happen.

He was running out the door. Caught him. Questioned him. He made something up, but gave away the truth after a minute. I told him that I would like to protect him from seeing the body decomposed.

That did the job pretty fast.

He's making cookies now.

I don't know about him sometimes.

[specialagentpeterdavidstrahm]

Is Mark okay?

He's in fuzzy pajamas sipping hot cocoa.

I think he's okay.