A man touched me on the subway, and I did something about it.
A man kissed my hand last night on the subway. It sounds kind of romantic without any detail. But the thing is it wasn’t. I had my hand around the subway pole while I stood. An extremely drunk man sat in his seat, watching my friends and I with drunk eyes. I knew he would do something, I assumed it would be him trying to strike up conversation. When it comes to cat calling and street harassment, I consider myself lucky. I’ve never had a man expose himself to me, or grab me. But last night, this drunk man leaned over and kissed my fingers. He looked at me, pleased. I along with my two friends were taken aback. There was a pause, a moment when I decided I had to speak up. It was less of a moment and more of an anger that boiled up inside of me. The kind of anger that comes from years of street harassment and never saying anything about it. So I raised my voice and had the following exchange.
me: what the fuck did you just do?
perv (laughing): I’m sorry I couldn’t control myself.
me: you could’ve, you could’ve not leaned over and kissed my hand. how would you feel if a stranger did that to you?
perv: i would be flattered if someone kissed my hand.
me: What if a man you didn’t know kissed your hand?
perv: Oh, not a man. but you’re a woman, it’s different.
perv: because the chemistry is different.
me: what the fuck are you talking about? no, it isn’t. you don’t know me and i don’t know you. you have no right to touch me and i did not give you permission to touch me. The only way you could understand how I feel right now was if a strange man came over and kissed your hand right now.
At this point, I have the attention of a crowded train. Teenage boys stare in awe. The perv looks around, embarrassed.
perv (smiles drunkenly): ok have a nice day.
He exits the train, moving to the next subway car.
me: does ANYONE have Purell?
A woman actually hands me Purell.
The teenage boys are looking at me now, giggling.
me: Do you think I was right to be so angry? Wasn’t I? Wasn’t that disgusting what he did?
They stutter a bit but they answer.
Teenage boys: Yes. You’re right it was gross.
Another woman comes over.
Woman: That was amazing. Good for you for speaking up. I’ve never said anything before.
Me: Well, if that happens to you, do the same fucking thing I just did, ok?
Do I think the pervert learned his lesson? No. But I do think he might think twice about touching a woman next time, because I shamed him off the goddamn train. I realize now that my voice is my strongest weapon. I have the power to be heard, I have the power to tell someone what they can and cannot do to me. I also have the power to inspire other women to speak up. Ladies, WE ALL HAVE THAT POWER. Speak the fuck up. Were Channing Tatum’s words still ringing in my ears having JUST seen Magic Mike XXL? Yes, yes they were. I will leave you with that quote.