Things Mayor Alvin Brown would rather do than ...

take a selfie with me. Read about #selfiegate here: thespecktator.com/snubbed-by-the-mayor/

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Get booed by thousands of country music fans!

(Note: I was inside at the time so I did not witness it first ear, but I was told by numerous people at Florida Country Superfest at EverBank Field that the mayor was booed when he walked on stage to address the crowd—pre-Miranda Lambert.)

FUN FACT: Lambert wore her mother's wedding dress when she married fellow country singer Blake Shelton.

Photo source: Yours truly Fact source: people.com

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Pose with award-winning gallery guys Shawn Meharg and Chaz. 

FUN FACT: According to his Facebook profile, Chaz worked as a human punching bag at The Pit of Lies.

Photo credit: Douglas J. Eng Fact source: Facebook

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Pose for photos while someone else takes a photo of him posing for a photo!

FUN FACT: There's a tumblr account called Look Stupid Taking Photos with an i-Pad.

BONUS: Check out BuzzFeed's "21 Reasons You Should Never Take Pictures With an i-Pad.

Photos source: City of Jacksonville tumblr and Facebook page Facts source: tumblr.com and BuzzFeed

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Shake hands with strangely dressed fans of local sports teams!

FUN FACT: Jump 4 Joy is the "official inflatable partner" of the Jacksonville Sharks, while Cartridge World is the team's "official toner provider."

Photos source: City of Jacksonville tumblr and Facebook page Fact source: jacksonvillesharks.com

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Have his photo taken while someone else is taking a selfie with him!

FUN FACT: In 1893, Robert Cornelius took what is believed to be the world's first selfie. (I don't personally believe it fits the criteria for a true selfie, but that's just me.)

Photos source: City of Jacksonville tumblr and Facebook page Fact source: huffingtonpost.com

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Take selfies with people far more prominent than I! (top: WJXT's The Morning Show anchor Bruce Hamilton; bottom: Jacksonville University President Tim Cost)

FUN FACT: The weirdest interview Hamilton has ever done was with Meat Loaf who  he described as "half-baked and talking pure gibberish." The interview lasted 45 seconds.

Photos source: private citizens Fun fact: personal interview

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Hang out with young children! (Not a bad idea since today's toddlers are tomorrow's constituents.)

FUN FACT: Richard Nixon signed the 26th Amendment to the Constitution into law in 1971 lowering the voting age in America from 21 to 18.

Photos source: City of Jacksonville tumblr and Facebook page Fact source; history.com

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Pose next to a pink-trimmed train! (Perhaps this is part of the railroad he was pretending to build at a previous event.)

FUN FACT: Three of the four railroads on the Monopoly board are real. (Short Line is fictional.)

Photo source: City of Jacksonville Facebook page Fact source: modeltrains.about.com

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Throw his cue stick in the air and wave it like he just don't care while playing bumper pool with children!

FUN FACT: Regular pool sticks are typically 57 inches long. Bumper pool sticks are typically 36 inches long.

Photo source: City of Jacksonville Facebook page Fact source: gametablesonline.com

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Stand next to people who are pointing at him. Actually, this is not completely accurate. Former Jags OG Will Rackley (top photo) was allowed to give the mayor the finger, but when a friend's brother-in-law (bottom photo) tried to point at the mayor in a picture that was being taken at RAM, the mayor's photog told him, "Put your finger down, young man." #truestory

FUN FACT: According to the source, Rackley was born in Jonesboro, Ga. (NFL and ESPN), Riverdale, Ga. (Washington Post) or Athens, Greece (Baltimore Sun and Wikipedia).

Photos source: City of Jacksonville Facebook page, private citizen Fact source: nfl.com, espn.com, washingtonpost.com. baltimoresun.com, wikipedia.com

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Greet his constituents while walking between rows of cheerleaders a la the Soul Train line!

FUN FACT: Soul Train aired for 35 years finally pulling into the station in 2006.

Photo source: City of Jacksonville tumblr Fact source: soultrain.com

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FYI, when Alvin Brown signs in somewhere (at least he did at WJCT last week), he uses his title: "Mayor Alvin Brown." Do you think President Obama does that too? Or the reigning Miss America?

In the mayor's defense, his director of communications David DeCamp could have signed in for him. But based on my handwriting analysis, I believe the mayor wrote his own name. 

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Point and wave to constituents while riding in the back of classic/old-timey convertible! (Is that even legal?)

FUN FACT: In the early days, all cars were convertibles. In addition to no roof, they didn't have a windshield, doors or side glass. Not even SIRIUS or GPS!

Photos source: City of Jacksonville flickr Fact source: popularmechanics.com

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Pose with Bill Murray which, for the record, I did first, though, mine is technically a photobomb!

FUN FACT: During the filming of Groundhog Day, Murray was bitten by a groundhog—twice.

Photo sources: (top) City of Jacksonville Facebook pay, (bottom) private citizen Fact source: IMDB

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Pretend to drive a pretend spike into a pretend railroad track!

FUN FACT: The song "I've Been Working on the Railroad" dates back to the 1890s. 

Photo source: City of Jacksonville tumblr Fact source: folkmusic.about.com

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Promote Void magazine's Surfboard Guide issue!

FUN FACT: Professional surfers consider Praia do Norte, Portugal one of the most dangerous surfing spots in the world.

Photo source: private citizen Fact source: National Geographic

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Play Ping-Pong® !

FUN FACT: Ping-Pong® is a federally-registered trademark. The generic name for the game is table tennis. 

Photo source: City of Jacksonville Facebook page Fact source: pingpong.com