Spectral Fragments

The Bits & Pieces That Still Haunt

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Perhaps someday you'll understand

I never wanted anything from you I never tried to change you I never used you I just loved you I just wanted you to let me I just wanted to be close to you

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On love and relationships

You can have something without a name that means a hundred times more than something with one.

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You hurt yourself And you blamed me I knew you hated me All you’d say was, ‘go away’ And I tried to…

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Sometimes I feel like my chest Has been ripped open And everything I feel Is just pouring out of me Not nice and clean Like pouring a glass of water But in gushes and spurts Spraying on everything around me Because my stupid heart Just keeps pumping and pulsing away

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It’s between 2am and 4am that I miss you most.

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Findings

If I want something If I want to go somewhere Or do something I can’t EVER rely on anyone

If things were different, I’d be leading him by the hand Planning ahead Picking him up Buying the first round Just like I have in the past With everyone else

And he’d let me Because it would be convenient

When do boys become men these days?

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Moments 001

I met him in a Malibu blur Of red and khaki and colored lights The next day we watched Where the Wild Things Are He fixed us lunch Chicken alfredo And cherry Kool-Aid We went to Sonic after For banana cream pie shakes I don't remember what we talked about that day But I know it came easily He was the kind of person you Could talk to about what feelings Physically feel like and things Like faith and outer space