veni, vidi, vici.

eiso - 20 - he/him - friend of oscar wilde

[drunkwhenimadethis]

I actually needed to read this

When I tell you I deny my instincts 24/7

[endocathexis]

[redforeststudio-deactivated2023]

[overdose-art]

Florentine Playing Cards. Francesco di Domenico, 1547.

[threeamserif]

[thebookofaphrodite]

Adonis, from Selected Poems, “To a Soothsayer” (tr. Khaled Mattawa)

[marxheadroom-deactivated2024012]

Miles4Migrants - Home - Miles4Migrants

One flight can change someone’s course forever SUPPORT A FLIGHT One flight can change someone’s course forever SUPPORT A FLIGHT One flight c

[frankierosite]

[demolitionlovers]

Why is he looking like that

[spectrophobick]

quality pics of @spaghetti-explosion

[the-silent-screamer]

Nas has been spitting nothing but facts this week

[they-who-wander]

These tags are important!

[oldshowbiz]

April 1969 - Protesting racist LAPD

[deviika]

1. V.E. Schwab // 2. Unknown // 3. Rudolph Vitkauskas // 4. Charles Bukowski // 5. Margaret Atwood

[sidereusimber]

Jeremy Robert Johnson // The laments for Icarus by Herbert James Draper // Charles Baudelaire, Laments of an Icarus // Landscape with the fall of Icarus by Peter Paul Rubens // Charles Baudelaire, laments of an Icarus // Landscape with the fall of Icarus by Joos de Momper // unknown // Frank frazetta // E.O Wilson // The fall of Icarus by René Milot // Oscar Wilde

[coolestfinch]

testosterone is not a violent, aggressive, or evil hormone. and the more you people keep demonizing its effects, the more young trans people are going to steer clear of it because they believe it is going to make them disgusting or ugly. yes im talking about sweat and body hair and acne and bottom growth which are all normal healthy things that come with going on T and they need to stop being called "negative effects". if YOU personally dont want them, fine. dont go on testosterone! but stop spreading this same harmful bullshit that makes trans youth fear transitioning when they otherwise look forward to it.

[headspace-hotel]

while I’m at it, i may as well post my “how kinky people look at sex reveals how autistic people experience the world better than anything else I have seen” post.

[headspace-hotel]

A majority of people in the world appear to view sensation like this: there are some feelings that are Good, and some that are Bad. Pain, of course, is Bad, fundamentally Worse than other sensations, like pressure or touch.

Some people are autistic. They spend their entire lives comparing being touched in ways they hate to being in pain, because people refuse to understand any other way. The world is hard to live in for them, because the feelings that hurt them are not categorized as Bad, and therefore what is torturous is not understood as torture.

Kink really unnerves a lot of people because it upends a lot of assumptions about how brains feel things. How can you want to experience something in the Bad category?

But I think kink better understands and allows for the actual complexity and reality of how brains feel things.

It’s actually more like this: There are very few, if any, actually inherently Bad stimuli. Instead, everything has a threshold at which it is unpleasant, even unbearable, and a threshold at which it is neutral or even good. Those are not necessarily opposite ends of the spectrum and can in fact overlap in weird ways. The intensity of a stimulus, or how much it pushes the limits of your processing, is not necessarily the same as “how much” stimulus, either.

Everyone is different in where their thresholds lie. There is a ton of diversity. This is…okay.

Furthermore, your thresholds are not fixed. You can adjust them a lot based on circumstances, such as how predictable the stimulus is, how much control you have over it, how much control you have over the rest of your environment, the amount of things you’re simultaneously processing, and so on.

In other words, if you experience something in an environment that is controlled, planned, and has low levels of unpredictability and extraneous stimuli, in a way that is curated to your ability to process it, that can cause a dramatic shift in whether you experience that thing as pleasurable or horrible.

Sometimes, people engage in otherwise unpleasant things in a controlled and agreed-to manner so those unpleasant things can become…good. Autistic people try to make their worlds as predictable, controlled and planned as possible so they can process “everyday” things with less pain. (And sometimes they do the first thing too.)

[headspace-hotel]

Honestly? I think what has convinced me most of this idea is seeing things people who are “anti-kink” say.

I see posts written by people who believe that doing a thing categorized as Bad in a sexual context is inherently going to cause harm, regardless of consent. The implication, though, in singling out “kink,” is that there is a “normal, natural” form of sex that is not “inherently harmful,” that lacks the characteristics that make pain, for example, harmful.

These people are regarding “normal” sexual activities, certain forms of touch or stimulation, to be inherently “safer” and less hurtful.

But to an autistic person, a touch may feel much worse than pain, no matter how gentle it appears to be. To an autistic person, many “vanilla” and innocuous acts might feel unbearable. But they don’t get treated with suspicion, because the people for whom they are Bad are not Normal.

When you are autistic, agency over your own perception is one of the biggest things you have to fight for in order to heal and be healthy. “This hurts me because *i* say it hurts me” is…basic. Because people don’t believe you when your hurts are non-normative.

“This feels good because *I* say it feels good” seems like it’s just the other side of the coin.

[english-mace]

I still remember, back when I was with my ex, a day where his parents and his football-player-sized brother had come to visit when I was already somewhat near overload. They wanted to visit a museum. They’d drive. That meant five people in a car. I asked if it was far; they said not really. I asked how big the car was; they said it was plenty big. I weighed up how awkward it would be to insist on driving myself versus their answers. I caved.

It was a normal-sized sedan.

The drive was 75 minutes long.

I sat in the backseat of that sedan, pressed up against my ex who took the middle seat for me (and, to his credit, did his absolute best to give me some space), quietly losing my mind. Human touch started out feeling like spiders and progressed to a kind of full body skin-nausea that I honestly don’t think I can describe. I was dissociating by half an hour in. There were bruises in my thighs from my nails. And I didn’t know when it was going to stop because they hadn’t told me.

Eventually, they pulled over to argue about whether they were lost, and I lasted about thirty seconds before scrabbling the door open and fleeing down the verge of the road. I genuinely don’t think I managed to speak more than a word or two to any of them for the whole museum trip. To this day I cannot remember how I got home.

But yes. Kink is clearly the thing that hurts people.

[lierdumoa]

I’ve posted before about how purity/anti-kink stances are fundamentally anti-autonomy, anti-critical thinking. They’re predicated on the belief that individuals cannot/should not establish their own personal boundaries or personal preferences for what is attractive/interesting/pleasurable/comforting/safe, but instead need a central moral authority to decide these things for them.

[chavisory]

Also, I keep running into this thing where neurotypical people seem to only kind of perceive “pain” as a unified concept or sensation. Nurses and healthcare people seem confused when I try to describe type of pain instead of number on a pain scale. Post-wrist surgery a few years ago, I went in for a follow-up appointment, and the nurse asked me where on the pain scale I was, and I said “It’s not so much that it hurts, as that it’s developing a stiffness that I’m a little worried about,” and she just sat there staring at her paper looking baffled as to what she was supposed to write.

Whereas, in my personal experience anyway, neurodivergent people are more likely to be able to distinguish between kinds of pain, and they are not all created equal. So like the pain of tattooing, or of sore muscles after a good hike, is borderline compelling, while dental pain or menstrual pain is torture. I would choose tattooing pain as an experience over a lot of things that most people don’t consider pain at all.

[headspace-hotel]

This connects back to, of all things, that very interesting book on venom that I read a while back. I have seen many amused and perplexed comments on the scientist Justin Schmidt’s insect sting pain scale and his highly poetic comments on the different types of pain the stings cause.

The fascinating thing is, these nuances are not actually illusory or just Justin Schmidt being weird—insect venom causes pain in a wide variety of ways depending on how the venom works and what nerves it specifically affects. There are a huge variety of shades to the ways humans can feel pain. Bee venom, for instance, activates nerves that are sensitive to heat, causing a “burning” pain.

Venom is a blend of very specific biochemical keys fitting into very specific biochemical locks to fuck shit up in precise ways. Each insect’s sting really is a subtly different and distinct flavor!

[brokenheartedcubscout]

Clarice Lispector | Bryan Washington | Richard Siken | Emily Dickinson | Andrés Cerpa | Rainer Maria Rilke | Carol Rifka Brunt

[unfurl-th]

studying again, collecting treasures, waiting for the semester to start. more here.

[satansgaytoe]

"I knew you better then you knew yourself, " she says, and I can hear ten years of sadness in her voice. "I was terrified you'd do exactly what you did."

If we were villains by M. L. Rio