Meltdowns: A Survival Guide
Not all autistics get meltdowns (or get them often), but many of us know the harsh reality of how bad they can be.
You scream; you cry; you get angry; you snap at every little thing. You feel like your skin is on fire; every sound is thunder in your ears; your head hurts; youâre going to explode. You rock, you pace, you bang your head, you throw things, you scratch at your body, you kick, you hit. Some or all of these things can happen during an autistic meltdown. When everything just becomes way too much for you to handle, when every emotion, sense, and thought is screaming âSTOP! NO MORE!â, it literally becomes the definition of âsensory hellâ.
It doesnât get much better after the meltdown passes. You end up exhausted, sensitive, weepy, unable to talk. Â You need quiet and darkness and you feel disoriented and dizzy, even physically sick. The meltdown aftermath can last for hours or even days while you recharge.
We canât stop our meltdowns from happening any more than we can stop physical pain when we get hurt. It is completely involuntary and none of us want to have them. So what can we do? Survive them.
If you know you are prone to frequent meltdowns, keep your nails short so thereâs less chance of damaging your skin.
Always keep sound-cancelling products near you (ear defenders, ear plugs, headphones). If you are in a work environment and canât get accommodations, ear plugs might be your best bet.
Keep stim tools nearby. Tangles, fidget cubes, fidget spinners, and chewelry are great for when youâre at home or in a casual environment. When you are at work, spinnable pendants, bead jewelry, spinner rings, diffuser necklaces, or something small and soft to touch can be helpful. If you have pockets, you can also quietly fidget with something inside them (For example: one time I was in meltdown mode all day at work and the only way I could cope was by smoothing my thumbs across these two slick tags I found on the ground).
If you can tell youâre approaching meltdown mode, try explaining to others that you need to go somewhere quiet and dark. If you canât explain, make some logical excuse to take a short break and go somewhere else.Â
Have a comfort object or plushie available. Even bringing a small one like a Disney Tsum Tsum in your bag can be comforting.
Explain to people you trust what meltdowns can be like for you before you have one around them so they can try to help and keep you safe. Make sure you tell them what they should and shouldnât do in the event of a meltdown so they donât accidentally make it worse while trying to be helpful (i.e. touching you, asking too many questions, etc.).
If you bang your head during meltdowns, donât put anything hard and pointy in your hair. There might not be time to take it out while in meltdown mode and it could cause serious damage to your head.
Have alternate communications available! Texting, a notepad app on your phone, pen and paper, or even basic sign language can all be good options.
Even if you donât have stim tools, try to body stim (it really does help!).
Do your best to keep breathing. Resist the urge to hyperventilate.
Use grounding techniques, counting, or singing and humming little nonsense songs during the meltdown to help you focus on something to stay calm.
Sometimes weight and pressure can help you better ride out a meltdown.Â
Donât be afraid to sit or lie on the ground. It would be a lot worse to fall down and hurt yourself during a meltdown than it would be to avoid the stares of people around you.
If a police officer tries to confront you, keep your body language as open as possible. Donât act aggressive, call for help if you need to, and donât try to run away. Donât reach for anything in your pockets or bag and donât try to protect your possessions from being taken. They most likely wonât understand your behavior even if you explain youâre autistic, so do your best to follow what they say, even if itâs hard while in meltdown mode. Your physical safety is of utmost important in that moment.
If a stranger confronts you to ask if you need help or accuse you of causing a disturbance, just say as simply and calmly as possible that you need to be left alone and that youâll be okay soon.
If you can, try and remember that the meltdown will pass, no matter how awful it feels. Itâs going to be okay.
If you accidentally do something harmful to someone during a meltdown, please be responsible for your actions. You canât help that it happened, but it still happened. Apologize for what you did to those people and explain what was going on without using it as an excuse. If possible, ask if thereâs anything you can do to make up for the âdamageâ.
Meltdowns take a lot of energy and might make you hot. Make sure to find ways to cool down if you need to (Sometimes you can feel very cold after too, like a fever, so change your needs accordingly).
Please be understanding of yourself once your meltdown is over. Try not to hate and blame yourself; itâs not your fault.
Reach out to one of your comfort people and tell them you donât feel well (or if they know youâre autistic say you had a meltdown) if it will make you feel better to talk to them. Just donât overwhelm yourself with conversation.
If you did end up harming yourself somehow, please try to take care of it as soon as possible after the meltdown. Clean any wounds, get ice packs, and take medicine.
Drink plenty of water and eat something if you need to.
After the meltdown, practice self-care. Watch a comfort movie, wrap up in a blanket, take a bath or shower, eat some sweets, pet your animals; do something that makes you feel a bit better and happier.
If you have a meltdown while youâre out, go home as soon as possible.
If you can, take time to rest and sleep.
It may take a couple of hours to days to fully recover so go easy on yourself during those times.
A meltdown can be one of the major symptoms we hate having as autistics, but there are ways to make it easier and help them to not interfere with our ability to enjoy loud, fun things we want to do, to work, interact with our friends, or anything else.
If you have any other suggestions for how to manage and survive meltdowns, please reblog and add them!
Day 28 of Autism Acceptance Month 2018
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