* I̸̡̟̯̳̞̗̯̞̼͕͕͓͂̃̄̊͌̒̕ͅͅͅ ̸̧̬͚̣͂̈́̿̆̈́̋̊̔͊̄̆͐̂͠ ̸̧̜̖̩̟́D̵̘̖̙͈̤͂͑̒̓͒͜͠Í̶̧̫̺̩̬̬̜͇͚̠͙̜̼̣̐̃͋͗͑̂̎́͐͝Ḑ̴̛̮̗͇̙̻̦͋̑̂̇̔͆͜͠N̶̘̗͖̦͕̼̲͑̆͑͒̅̍̊̔͋͋̽͠͠'̴̢̧̡̥͚́ͅŢ̵̪̜̙̑͐̑̇̒͠ ̴̺̤͐̐ ̶̡̡̟͔̰̟̥͇͇̀̈́͂̇͂͑͊͜ͅD̴̮͕̮̺̩̠̿́͒͜Ọ̴͎͈̮̫̫̃̏͐̈́̏̏̌̑͘̕͝ ̶͓̈́̌̅̅̿ ̶̧̛̣͚͈̝̝̜̣̀̒̀͋̉͠I̴̛̘̤̦̲̳̥̹͑̅̆̇̅̿̾̓̇͜T̶̥̺̙̦̰͎̝̫̙͕̝̫̑̽̄͠.̷̧̺̹̬̯͚̤̾̄̑̅̉̿̆̒
* you freeze, taken aback by the sheer power your voice had as you spoke. you sounded so desperate to have her hear you and see that it really wasn’t you who did it, but how could you ever say to her? she saw that it was you. she heard your voice and saw you making those commands while you coldheartedly told her to freeze your own friend. you falter, unsure how to go on after you practically yelled at her. she just wanted answers. she wanted to know why you did it, but you can’t give her an answer to anything because you don’t know a single thing.
* you want to cry. you want to let out all of the frustration; the heaviness in your chest by yelling it all out and sobbing until your eyes are dry but you’re not in the position to do so. you feel like you aren’t in the position to do so. noelle probably thinks you aren’t in the position to do anything after what you have done to her and your friend. ‘i didn’t want it to happen. i didn’t do it. i never wanted to. i never-’ your chest feels heavy. you feel like you’re getting sick.
* this is even worse than looking at yourself in the mirror. at least you can push away your disgust by smashing it to bits and pieces or turning it away. you can’t do that when you’re in front of your friend like this. ‘i didn’t do it. i don’t know why i can’t control myself. how the hell can someone lose control of their own soul anyway? why am i never myself? i don’t know. i don’t know. i don’t know anything.’
* you don’t know anything.
* you can’t meet noelle’s eyes.
Noelle recoiled back as their voice raised, her shoulders tensing. She stared them down with wide eyes, looking like something akin to a deer in headlights. In the back of her mind, the words repeated like a broken record, as she tried to process them in a way that made sense.
In a strange way, it almost made sense. She’d thought to herself over and over again that Kris seemed like an entirely different person in the Cyberworld. They were pushy and outspoken, with a voice that sent chills down her spine. They manipulated her into doing horrible things. Things they knew were wrong.
The Kris she had grown up with was quiet and mischievous. Always considered the weird kid on the block, but never downright malicious. The Kris she knew was the one person she knew how to say no to. The Kris she knew was her friend.
Yet a part of her felt like just accepting their word as the truth would be a mistake. She was so afraid of falling into another trap. So afraid of hurting someone else she cared about. But even so, she cared about Kris, too. And if this was true, by denying it, she would be hurting them.
As much as it sounded insane, to any normal bystander, the Cyberworld would have sounded insane as well. Yet the two of them, for better or worse, knew that what had happened there was real.
So, then, what was stopping this from being real, too?
“Kris...” Heart pounding, she folded her hands against her chest. “I-I don’t... I don’t know what to say. I want to believe you, I do, but...”
