welcome to my writing space! if you’re here than you’re one of the special lucky people who have found my acc. if you like angsty stuff, friends to lovers, or reader story. you can check all of the stories that i have wrote down here.
fandoms! marvel, tua, haikyuu, harry potter, marauders, wizarding world, stranger things (more to be written in the future)
taglist! feel free to contact me in any form, whether it’s through the comments, reblog, question box or private message if you wants to the be tag on a certain fandom or a certain series that i write
request! (closed) no nsfw stuff. i have never wrote a story that was requested before because most of my stories comes from my own imagination. however if you want to request, feel free to ask through the question box and i’ll try my best to do it
✦ HARRY POTTER
CEDRIC DIGGORY
when we were young (angst, fluff, friends to lovers)
in which they fall in love with one another, unware of the painful destiny that awaits them in the future
REMUS LUPIN
if only (angst, wolfstar, unrequited love)
in which she love Remus Lupin in the most sincere and irrevocably way while knowing exactly that his heart only belong to Sirius
REGULUS BLACK
the boy from astronomy tower (fluff, angst)
in which Regulus found his source of comfort with someone at the Astronomy Tower
✦ HAIKYUU
KUROO TETSURO
one shots :
i bet you think about me (fluff, slight angst)
in which both of you took a break from eachother in college
puppy love (fluff)
in which the new young couple ended up having a flour fight and slow dancing around the kitchen.
have i told you lately i’m grateful you’re mine? (fluffy fluff)
in which Kuroo imagine a glimpse of his future with you
stay forever (fluff)
series :
moonlight (fluff, angst, friends to lovers)
in which izumi akari was supposed to be the star player in women’s volleyball history. she was a prodigy. she had her future set in the stone or so she thought. the once player from kitagawa daiichi ended up being a manager for the team she have found family in, karasuno. just when she thought her story was ending, a certain orange-haired boy appears along with a very familiar face as the new addition to the team. or in which akari meet faces that once was a part of her past along with the ones that would become a part of her future. the story of the second year manager of karasuno.
✦ JUJUTSU KAISEN
NANAMI KENTO
enchanted (fluff, angst) (coming soon)
in which coffee shop meetings become the reason she wakes up everyday
heart attack (tooth-rotting fluff)
in which you chasing nanami kento’s love become a full-time job
✦ MARVEL
PETER PARKER
please let me go (andrew!peter, angst)
in which Peter has to go on a one way ticket mission
✦ STRANGER THINGS
STEVE HARRINGTON
fools (angst, unrequited love)
in which you realize that Steve’s feelings for Nancy seems to remains the same even after all these years
EDDIE MUNSON
a tune of love (fluff) (discontinued)
in which eddie munson wrote you a song. a tune of his love for you
✦ THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY
BEN HARGREEVES
memories (angst, hurt-comfort)
in which she found glimpse of them together through his eyes—the man that wore the face of the love of her life
unnamed story (angst kinda)
in which she have to fought against the man who looks like the love of her life (set before memories but can be read alone)
✦ ENOLA HOLMES/SHERLOCK FANDOM
• SHERLOCK HOLMES
labyrinth
in which Sherlock Holmes seeks out an old friend help on the case of his missing sister. The Annaliése Moore that have been nothing but a fond memory in his head.
season so bad i took time to post to tell people how much I hate that last season. wtf?!?!?! it doesn’t feel like an UMBRELLA season at all. it is disgusting to see characters developments got butchered the last minute because the writer think it’s cool or whatsoever. and the worst part I’M NOT EVEN SAD ABOUT BEN AT ALL (literally the guy i ended up making one-shot about cause i love him a bit too much) idgaf about Jennifer i said what i said. 🙄🙄🙄
seriously put me in the writing room. I’ll volunteer to rewrite the whole season for free to bring justice to Five, Lila, Diego, EVERYONE.
wouldn’t be better if they die (yes, still) then they born again in the original timeline with their original parents that will get pregnant normally this time. so the show would have ended with glimpse of them together even though they have different ages (it is shown that Ben’s mother was young and Five’s mother was a women so that’ll explain the age differences)
summary : just two long-reunited-friends having a civil conversation without the other trying to ruined it
wordcount : 1.9k
a/n : i am really really sorry but i forgot to update the story here so here you go
Annaliése had woken up early the following morning for her daily routine. How she loves having a pattern for her day. She held those routines dearly to herself, perhaps that is why it was frustrating to see the ghost of her past marching into her life, pushing against the flow of her life. Sherlock Holmes was indeed a gentleman if you don't count how he behaved toward her at the end of what used to be a companionship between them.
Memories seemed to flood her mind as she sat there on her couch, waiting, as the clock kept ticking. She found herself thinking about their first encounter in that market alleyway where he somewhat saved her from a commotion that had accidentally occurred because of her. And to be frank, it wasn't pleasant to know of Sherlock Holmes, or in this case, being close with him, during the early days of her career. The amount of times she had to put up with his relatively arrogant behaviour and not to mention his superiority complex.
Eventually, in the end, she got him wrapped around her fingers. But that was years ago, when she first met him, and yet the memory of it plagued her mind every second he slipped into her mind, which is more often than what she would like to admit.
She stood up and went to her door when the clock rang. Opening it, she was greeted by a hand who, by the way it appears, was about to knock on the door. She raised her eyebrow at the guest standing before her.
"You're almost late." She commented, turning on her heels, letting him in her flat.
"Always the punctual one, you are." He replied, shrugging his coat off his shoulders and hanging it on the hanger after closing the door.
There was some kind of familiarity in his movements. All of it fits perfectly into unity as both move into this pattern they used to do, it was as if it never stopped at all. She couldn't lie and say that her heart doesn't get warm at the sight of it, to see that he still recalls it all. But then again, nothing ever escaped from his mind. Once its there, it stays. She didn't know whether that was a curse or a blessing.
She spoke again by the time the two were seated in front of each other, the same position as they were last night, although there seemed to not be any tension between them this time.
"You look..." She trailed off while studying his figure. "Better." Her eyes went back to his face.
"I want to apologise for my actions last night." He said, not wasting any time. It sounded rather insincere in her head, either that's true or Annaliése is in denial at the fact that Sherlock Holmes is expressing his regret.
"And more polite." She continued. "What was it that you're apologising for?"
She leaned back on her couch, staring at the man who seemed to be having trouble arranging his words. Pride comes first when you are Sherlock Holmes. He looked like he would rather chew and swallow the words than say them out loud. It was oddly pleasing for her to see.
" Oh come on, Sherlock, is it really that hard to admit it?" She scoffed, crossing her arms, leaning forward slightly. The two held their gaze on each other, arguing silently until eventually, he gave up.
"I'm sorry," He paused, giving her a look before proceeding with his incomplete sentence. "I'm sorry for letting out my frustration on you. It wasn't right, what I did. It was improper and I apologise for that and the disturbance that I've caused to your night." He watched as her shoulder sank for a split second, the detail of it didn't escape his vision.
"You didn't expect me to actually apologise, do you?"
"You are a lot of things to others. You excel in so many things, but apologising has never been one of your expertise. So yes, I did not expect you to say that." She started, nodding her head as she glanced at the clock before settling her eyes on the cup of tea in front of her.
"How are you feeling—wait no—don't answer that. Your mother is missing, your sister is running away and not to mention, that case of little Tewkesbury, wherever he is right now. You must be enjoying all of these don't you?"
He leaned forward, propping his arm on his knee. "You knew him?" He looked at her and how Annaliése wanted to scoff at the gesture. For someone who happened to be London's genius detective, Sherlock had somewhat spent his time being painfully apparent in his attempts to read through her.
"No. I knew of him. We only met," She paused. "Once or was it twice, on some political occasion that father had dragged me into. He was a nice young boy who surprisingly has this big, I mean massive, interest in," She paused once more with one finger in the air. "Botany. It was actually impressive to hear him talking about horticulture for about an hour."
"So nothing then." He responded, leaning back in his seat.
She raised her eyebrows at his response. "Shouldn't you be connecting one dot to another with the information I just told you?" She questioned.
"No, I rejected the case." He informed her. "Enola and my mother are my main priority right now. And the marquess case was a bit too political to my liking, I rather consumed myself elsewhere. Now, can we go on to the letters?" He snuck his hand into his pockets, pulling out a stack of three letters before putting it on the table. "These two are yours, while this one, is the one that remained unsent by my mother" He explained.
Her eyes downcasted to the table, to the letters beside her half-empty cup of tea. Her hands trailed the top of it, remembering the moment she had written that exact same letter. "I assume you've read it all?" She asked, glancing upwards at him.
"Only the one that you haven't known about." He answered. Why didn't he read the letters that she had written to his mother, she didn't know. Why not let his curiosity gets the best of him, it wouldn't be the first time he did so.
She holds herself back from asking the questions that linger in the back of her mind. "Your mother had sent me the first letter in a rather concerned state. She had seen one of the news of you getting injured. Perhaps, it's you, Holmeses, problems connecting to one another. But she had decided to write to me instead, considering how detached you are from her. Showing that she cares without actually showing it." She bites the inside of her cheek before continuing her words.
"And so I wrote back to her, explaining your condition. That was-"
"Six years ago. The Kingston case, not one of my favourites." He interrupted her sentence.
She pointed at him with a familiar look on her face. "Only you, a smart man who is dumb enough to jump after a thief from the fourth floor. Hadn't it been for that carriage, you wouldn't be sitting in front of me right now." She stated.
The corner of his mouth turned upwards so slightly that he might not even realise it. Thinking back to the lecture that she had given him as soon as he regained consciousness. She would roll her eyes every time the case is referred to solely because it brings back the memories of the hasty decision of an eager 24 years old Sherlock Holmes.
"Now before you go onto your accusation for the second time, I'm going to tell you once more that these letters have nothing to do with your mother's disappearance. Nor am I involved in the schemes that she had planned. Sherlock, you know I'm not one to cause a mass destruction, no matter how tempting that is. And you know that I'm telling nothing but the truth."
"Of course, you're telling the truth."
"Then why did you doubt me?"
"Like you said, my frustration gets the best of me."
She glanced at the clock once more, noting that time seemed to go faster within the presence of Sherlock Holmes. Ignoring his gaze on her, she stood up and went to her room. It wasn't a minute before she came back with an invitation in her hand, however she halted when she saw Sherlock with his coat hanging in his hand.
Her eyebrows furrowed as she asked him. "Do you have somewhere else to be?"
"There's this minor case that I just solved during that one minute of your absence." He said.
She hummed as a response, half impressed. "Homicide?" She asked.
"I wished, but no. It's an affair." She looked at him sceptically, to which he replied instantly. "I was bored when I picked it up. What's that?" He pointed to her hand.
"Something that leads me to my next question. This minor case, would it occupy you for the night?" She asked back. It started to sound like a game of repeatedly asking one another.
"No. I just need to go to report this one and then get back to Enola and Mother's case."
Glancing down at the invitation in her hand. "You came here seeking my forgiveness and yet I haven't said anything about forgiving you." She handed the piece of paper to him. "I doubt you'll need this when your face is a self-confirmation of who you are. But, you owe me a dance, after that maybe I'll forgive you."
He turned over the paper. "Another ball?" He raised his eyebrows to the women walked around him.
"One small detail is that Enola had mentioned something about a young boy." She stated, gaining his attention.
He nodded. "So did Edith." He replied.
"Well, I don't know if you know about this. But you, Holmeses, have a tendency of coming after anything that has trouble labelled onto them. You can't seem to get enough. It's in your blood." She stopped in front of him. "It won't surprise me if our missing marquess is with your missing sister right now."
Clasping her hands together, she smiled slightly. "And that is when the ball comes in handy. The Tewkesbury family will be there and so I thought, find the boy and you'll find Enola, perhaps." She gave him a look. "If she wanted to be found, that is."
He looked at her, turning sideways. "That wasn't your only intention," He paused, reading through her. She was on Enola's side, surely Anna will do anything to honour the girl's wants. What could possibly bring her to invite him to such a prestigious occasion, that she knows he's not exactly fond of. One name comes to mind. "Mycroft." He uttered.
"Rumor has it that your dearest brother would be there too." She pursed her lips, smiling knowingly towards him. "I could already imagine the utter nuisance he would be as soon as he laid his eyes on me." She paused.
"So you need someone to hold you back in case my dearest brother utters something that will offend you." He concluded.
"Well you don't have to, but with what happened the last time......" She trailed off, grimacing at the memory along with Sherlock. Shaking her head lightly, she looked back at him, her hands still clasped together in front of her figure.
summary : in which Sherlock Holmes finally met the girl who had been nothing but a fond memory in his head
wordcount : 1.9k
Annaliése Amélie Moore is a dear in the society. At least that's what some people like to call her. Born into the Moore family, she was expected to grow up as a proper lady, whatever proper means in their eyes. And so she did. Or at least she half-ly did, if that's even the right word to describe it. Annaliése Amélie Moore could easily blend into the crowd of a ball. Dancing on her feet, her hand brushed against the gent's shoulders as she twirled onto the other with the grace of a former ballerina. Just like the meaning of her name, Graced with God's Bounty.
You see, Annaliése did grow up as a proper lady but that itself wasn't enough in the public eye. Some would say that to be seen, a woman such as herself would need to find herself a suitor, a husband to provide for her which she found as such a dulling mindset. Is not the idea of having a husband that aggravates her nor was it the idea of loving someone with such honesty and innocent purpose, for Anneliése, was someone who once yearned to love although she seemed to give up on that long ago.
But would she? Would she be seen as an individual if she ever found herself a husband who will provide for her? Would people finally acknowledge her tremendous mind? In the truth of her mind, she didn't think so. Even if she found herself a name, all of those will get credited to her husband because what a man he is for getting himself a woman like her. And of course, it wasn't the man's fault, no it's not. It was the society and the world she grew up in that was at fault.
She changed her whole demeanour as she realised the deep thought she was in had brought a scowl on her face. Putting back a smile, she muttered a small apology to her companion whom she was waltzing with. Although, that didn't last long as her eyes caught a familiar pair of eyes who was also waltzing not even five feet from her.
What is he doing here? She found herself asking the question that she already knew the answer to.
Not even a minute later, she twirled around and landed in the arms of a man that she once had the privilege of being close with. She said nothing and let him lead the dance for the night. And it seems that the same idea appeared inside his head. His arm fits flawlessly around her waist as he dips her before the proximity of their body becomes closer as she faces him again.
"To what do I owe the pleasure of your presence tonight, Mr. Holmes?" She asked, breath fanning the side of his face as she could feel him tense under the sound of her voice which brought a small smirk to her face.
"I was hoping to find you here. I heard you are finally back from France." The lie rolled out of his mouth so naturally, as if he just received the news of her arrival earlier the day when in fact he had known exactly that she first arrived back a month ago.
The orchestra faded as the dance came to an end, the two friends facing one another. The two friends that have a well-known face in the public eye. Her eyes met his once more, daring him to say something more about his unwelcome presence. "It seems that the news has gotten a bit late for you. I've been back for a month, Mr. Holmes. Now if you really don't have anything more to say to me, I will excuse myself and let you get on with whatever case you are on right now." She said, already preparing to take a step away from him when the man himself took a step forward causing her to slap his chest out of instinct.
"Now what are you thinking you're doing?" She asked once more. Sherlock only smiled slightly at the people around them, before grabbing her by the forearm and leading her away from the crowd. "Sherlock!" She yelped, and tried to look over her shoulders, perhaps one of the guests there would notice that a man had taken her away without her will. But then again, everyone recognizes Sherlock Holmes, and who would dare to question his integrity, at least that's not what the general public would do.
The man leaned forward to her shoulders. "My mother and sister are missing." He said, finally letting go of her once they are far enough from the others. She turned to look at him, taking in the information. Although she had never met Enola, she did get the privilege to meet the amazing mother of the Holmes family once. Hearing them go missing isn't precisely how she expected herself to meet him again.
Sherlock Holmes is never one to waste time in striking up a conversation. Always getting to the point of it. She might be used to it by now. But she couldn't help but feel that it was a bit much for the man to dump the information on her after not even acknowledging her existence for the last two-three years.
"What happened?" She questioned with concern laced in her words.
Sherlock turned slightly, making sure that no one are listening to their private conversation. It would be such a nuisance if the news had gotten out to the public. Sherlock Holmes's sister and mother were missing. People sure would get the chance to ruin his reputation. Even more, if they had known that at least one of them are running away from her own family.
"If we could go to your place-"
"There's no such thing as you being in my place," She talked back. "What makes you think I'll welcome you, Sherlock Holmes? Was it because of your name? Does being a genius renowned detective give you the privilege of being anywhere anytime you want? You could've at least told me what your intention was before asking such a question."
"Anna, I-" He halted and she raised her eyebrow at the nickname he uttered. He looked away for a bit. She could sense him hesitating to say the words. "I need-I need your help."
And within those four words, she found herself letting him back into her life. That was a decision that might get her hurt but surely not one that she will wish undone.
***
"So you're saying that your mother left home leaving young Enola behind? And Enola ran away the day after meeting her two brothers for so many years?"
She took a seat, finger trailing the rim of her teacup as she stared at the man in front of her. Although Sherlock's eyes seemed to have more interest in looking around her flat. He only nodded slightly in her direction without taking his eyes away. Without even saying anything, Annaliése had already known what was in his mind. There's no point in hiding something from the Sherlock Holmes.
"I mean not to be insensitive, but I would've done the same if I had a misogynist of a person as my brother. Not to mention that Mycroft tried to force her into these lady-ish traits. You do see the problem here, don't you?" She asked him. And this was when Sherlock decided to turn to look at her directly with one of his eyebrows raised in a questioning manner.
"Don't look at me like that. There is a difference in our situation. I was educated that way since I was a kid, it was essentially my sole purpose in life to become a lady or so they said, whereas Enola wasn't. So you could imagine her horror of being forced into something that she isn't used to." She explained.
"You've met her." Those are the first three words he uttered after being quiet for some time.
"What?" She questioned.
"Enola. She had come to you, did she not?" He leaned forward, propping his elbow on the table. She only stared at him as he stared back, both not making a single move. "She's my sister, Annaliése." He said.
She was silently debating on what to and what not to say. Each word she uses would reveal yet another thing about her. She thought about the young woman who had come to her early that day, at first glance she didn't recognize who it was. But by opening her mouth, Enola had revealed her identity without even saying her name. It wasn't very difficult for Annaliése to recognize a Holmes just by the way they were speaking.
There was indeed nothing you could try to hide from Sherlock Holmes. And it's not necessarily hiding something when the man hadn't asked her the question and she answered with the truth of it. Downcasted her gaze, she spoke out. "If you truly cared for her, you would've made her your ward instead of Mycroft's. I know you have problems connecting with other people, but just like you said. She is your sister."
"And Mycroft is my brother." He replied.
Anneliése scoffed at the words that he just uttered. "In that case, I think both of us know that he's not really the best in that category." She stood up and walked over to the other side of the room, putting her cup down on the kitchen table. "You've figured out that Enola had come to me just by stepping into my flat. You sure will be able to figure out that I sincerely don't know about her where being at the moment." She looked over her shoulder at him.
"I met Edith." He said, suddenly.
"Who?"
"My mother's friend. Called me an ostrich for being alone. Enola had come to her too, my mother had led her there. So tell me Annaliése, why mother led Enola to you? Furthermore, why did she send two letters to you?" He stood up from his seat, making his way to get closer to her.
She straightened her back, furrowing her eyebrows in irritation. Anneliése does not like how he worded the sentence against her. "I don't understand. You keep asking questions, you already know the answer to." She stepped forward towards him. With one finger up, she pointed to his chest. "You came to me in the middle of a dance, practically ruined my night. I invited you to my flat because you said you are in need of my help and now you're accusing me." She said.
"Of what?" He asked, leaning down ever so slightly. "What am I accusing you of?"
"I am not hiding anything from you." She stated, not breaking her eyes away from him now that they were practically chest to chest. He did the same, although his eyes seemed to soften, knowing that she is, in fact, telling the truth. However, his mouth seemed to lose its ability to speak under her stern gaze. The topic of the night had spiralled from one to another in a quick ill-mannered way. That was his fault, undoubtedly.
"If you are stressed, I beg you not to let it out on me. Take a walk, Sherlock. Clear your head, you're in need of it." Those are the last words spoken to her that night before she turned her back on him and went out of the room. Leaving the man standing in the middle of it. And Annaliése was already in her room when the sound of the front door being closed was heard.
Sherlock lingered in front of the door for quite a long time, pondering whether he should go back in there or not before he turned around and walked away from the place. This was not how he wanted the reunion to be.
ANNALIÉSE MOORE was young when she first met SHERLOCK HOLMES, accidentally stumbled onto him when she was running away from the small commotion she had caused which ended with him helping her out of it. He was early in his career but already making a name for himself. Being not much more than two years older than her, they’ve become close, perhaps closer than both had ever thought they would be. The young woman has seen more sides of the renowned genius detective than the one he always ought to put in front of the public's eyes. Although in recent years, they’ve found some distance between themselves, primarily because of the number of cases, Sherlock had drowned him in. And she tried, for the longest time, she tried to understand him until one day, it all stopped.
ANNALIÉSE MOORE had only been in London for a month-long after she returned from France when she heard the news of the missing EUDORIA HOLMES which then followed by the missing of ENOLA HOLMES. So it wasn't really surprising when her old friend had finally decided to acknowledge her existence again, seeking out her help. And boy was it such a privilege to have SHERLOCK HOLMES looking rather helpless on her doorstep.
tags : friends to lovers, slowburn, 1880s slowburn(?), sherlock being painfully oblivious, fluff but also angst
first of all, i’m really sorry to say that I probably won’t be continuing the part two anytime soon since things are keeping me real real busy these days and secondly, i think i’ve lost the motivation to continue writing it and also lost the heat of the moment. and thirdly, some people kinda ruined eddie’s image and that makes me not want to continue the story. i am really really sorry
summary : chasing nanami kento’s love is a full time job and nothing can stop her from fulfulling her dream
wordcount : 6.1k
a/n : sorry it took too long for me to post this. but here it is. hope you enjoy it
masterlist
Chasing Nanami Kento’s love is like a full-time job for her. Being a shaman was merely just a side quest she did. Call her a hopeless romantic, but even that couldn’t fully describe who she is. Double the meaning of it or triple it then perhaps that could describe her. A very much hopeless hopeless hopeless romantic when it comes to Nanami Kento.
And everyone knows this. Everyone knows how she feels for him, even he knows about it for it is not a secret that she tried to hide. She has always been the one to verbally show it since the first day they met. That first day where she found herself that she didn't even know before. “Your last name sounds good together with my first.” How much she cringed when she looked back at those first moments after he introduced himself to the class that only consisted of three of them. Being blunt often helps her to get away from awkward situations that ironically were also created from her bluntness.
“You won’t get anywhere like this,” said her white-haired senior, sneaking up behind her who was watching Nanami from behind a pillar. The sudden appearance of the famous senior who she also calls as friend startled her. The letter in her hands fell to the ground as she turned around to look at him. “What are you doing here?!” She whispered loudly.
She crouched down to grab the letter she had dropped, careful to not step onto them. “You were being a creep. You know you could always approach him, it’s not like he doesn’t know about this.” Gojo leaned onto the pillar, also now watching Nanami as the girl beside him stood tall again.
“Don’t lecture me on being a creep when you are the worst one here,” Hearing her words Gojo put his hand on his chest acting as if a bullet hit him. “And you are not a love guru. You’ll be the last person that I would go to for love advice, Senpai.”
He only hummed as a response, she couldn’t tell if that was a sign of agreement or disagreement. But the two stayed in their place for the next few minutes, her hand still gripping the letter tightly, not wanting to let go of all the feelings she had poured into it. Gojo glanced at it, crossing his arm, a serious look on his face. “How many have you......?”
She switches and leans onto her left leg instead of her right, fingers fiddling with one another—one of her nervous habits. “This is the thirty or forty-something,” she paused for a moment. “I don’t remember how it started but I don’t think I’m going to stop anytime soon. Whether he read it or not, this has become a coping mechanism for me. Every time I-we come back from a mission,” She paused after correcting her words. “I’ll write one of these, and sometimes I give him one if it contains something about him.” She raised the letter in her hand. Sometimes it means all the time.
“Call it a love letter or whatever you want. I suppose calling it that wouldn’t make it untrue for it is filled by the words that come right out of my heart.”
***
She had seated herself on the floor not long after Gojo had left her alone there. Her gaze traveled around until they landed onto the sky, a soft smile appeared on her face as she did so. Leaning her head on the pillar, she lets herself relieve the tension that she was holding since the latest mission the school had sent her team to. Million possibilities run in her mind, the risks they always took without a single hesitation, devoting their life in the line to protect the world. Her gaze falls back onto the letter she holds as she silently wonders how she let herself feel this much for someone. Raising it to her chest, she allows herself to close her eyes, getting a little bit of rest that she truly needed.
“How long have you been there?” A voice asked. His voice. The one that brings a warm feeling to her heart despite the cold weather in the evening.
Slowly opens her eyes, blinking to adjust the brightness in her vision before her gaze falls onto Nanami who stood over her, a letter in his right hand. Then she looked at her hand to find it no longer holding the letter close to her chest. It must have slipped away during the few moments when she fell asleep. A smile comes up on her face as she stares back at him. “Long enough.” She answered simply. “Are you going to your room?”
He nodded his head slightly while offering his hand to her which she gladly accepted, standing back on her feet, and brushing the dust off her clothes. She could feel his eyes watching her movements so she tried her best to pretend that she did not notice it. She is aware that their hands are still interconnected with one another, both didn’t make any move to let go. “Did you open it?” She asked again, motioning at the letter that was already on his other hand that was not holding hers.
“Not yet. You are supposed to rest for your mission tomorrow and yet here you are.” He commented.
A sheepish smile appeared on her face as she avoided his stern gaze on her. “But that’s exactly the reason why I’m here right now, Ken-to,” She looks away, her hand finally letting go of his, not noticing that his fingers slightly reached out at the loss of the warmth of her hand. “I’m not sure I’ll be able to meet you in the early morning tomorrow so I have to give it to you now. You know, like usual, just in case.” She trailed off at the end of her words, seeming to be in a deep thought.
The two resumed the walk to their representative room. Her words earlier had been replied with nothing but the silence between the two. A somber mood constantly clouded Nanami’s mind, seeing her always acting like she was never going to come back after a solo mission. Not coming back to him.
“We should always prepare for the worst. You’ll never know what will happen.” That was what she always said to them all. But even then, the evident smile on her face would always betray the anxiety in her heart.
A hand landed itself on his forearm, waking him up from his drowning thoughts, and stopping him from walking a bit farther. He turned to look at her but her gaze was stuck on the sky. He found himself staring at the side of her face. At her eyes that glistened with the moon's reflection in it.
“Kento,” She called his name softly, still not looking at him. She opened her mouth a little bit and yet none of the words fell out of it, heart thumping against her chest out of rhythm. “The moon......” She trailed off as she turned to look at him. The sight of him makes her knees weak. Makes her unable to speak the words that she wanted to. So instead she speaks with the eyes that always show the truth when she is around him.
“Is beautiful.” He said. Continuing the silent part of her words. “The moon is beautiful.” Her eyes widened at the words that fell out of his mouth. Did he mean it literally or not? The question rang inside her mind. It’s always hard to decipher Nanami’s mind when he always spoke things in quite an expressionless way. There seems to be a big wall that separates his expression and the feelings that remained true inside his heart.
Nothing happened between the two after he uttered those words. They began to resume the walk that they both had paused quite hastily. Her hand hovered above the room handle as both are now standing in front of hers. She could feel the looming presence of him with her back turned against him at the moment. With shadow casting over her face, she turned to look at him.
“You know, Kento.” She bit the inner of her cheek, looking up at him with a small smile plastered on her face. Her hands connected themselves behind her as she rocked slowly on her feet. “You really shouldn’t say things when you don’t really mean the words. People can get confused.” She said the words carefully, glancing at the letter that is still wrapped around his fingers before staring back at him.
Then she waited.
Waited for him to say something,
Anything. Anything would be enough of an answer.
She looked at him expectedly, raising her eyebrows. But all she got was a typical Nanami Kento avoiding conversation type of answer. Instead of clarifying his words, he just told her to go rest quickly so she won’t be too late the next day. Her shoulders sank at his words, puffing her cheeks before turning around, opening the door, and then closing it.
Sitting at the edge of her bed, she looks at Nanami’s shadow that could be seen from the gap between her door and the floor. She leaned her head on top of the plushie on her lap. Nanami stood in front of her door for the next few minutes before he finally walked away from it.
“Kento, you’re an idiot.” Then she averted her gaze to the crumpled paper beside the trash bin. Getting up from her seat, she crouched down to grab it, opening the piece of paper. Eyes gazing through all of the words that she had put into it. The earlier draft of the letter she gave to him. The earlier draft of the over-simplified letter because her feelings for him are too big that a piece of paper could not retain to contain all of it. “But I guess I am too.”
***
It was during New Year’s Eve when the two found themselves by each other's side again. Sure there are countless times when they were set together and saw each other almost every day, but both had never got the chance to truly be alone with no one else around but them.
The two never spoke about what happened that night. About what he had uttered whether he really meant it or not. She never found the answer to it. But her feelings remain the same. Couldn’t be changed. Not even if she tried. And she still writes him letters although Nanami did note that the amount of passage in it had lessened within each letter that she gave him.
“How was your day?” He asked, suddenly. Startling her who was busying herself by focusing on the many other things around her instead of the person that holds the key to her heart.
They both are currently walking down the road with people rushing around them, eager to embrace the year that awaits ahead of them all. And yet there’s her and Nanami, who walk slowly, not wanting to let go of the year that would change within hours. Carrying the burden of knowing the secrets that are hidden from those innocent eyes was never a simple job. It was hard, maddening it could be. That’s why it’s easier for her to focus all of her mind on the person beside her rather than that.
They are going to graduate soon and she had a feeling that Nanami would want to let go of all of his ties with the world they both are familiar with, including hers. That thought didn’t really sit well inside her mind. Perhaps that’s why she wasn’t really sure how to answer his simple question.
Glancing at him, she let out a long sigh. “Well, I was with you the whole day. So the same as yours?” She wondered at the end of her sentence. “The year would change within hours. I guess that counts as something worth anticipating for.” She then proceeds to talk about some other things that had occurred to her a few days back before stopping in her tracks when she realizes that she has been talking with nothing but the empty presence of Nanami beside her.
Turning her head around, she found him a few feet away from her. The two pairs of eyes instantly connected to each other as more people kept rushing around them. She looked at him almost innocently, tilting her head to the side slightly with her furrowed eyebrows. And he spent the same moment thinking of what a privilege it was to be there with her. She could’ve chosen anyone. And yet, she was already captivated with him since the first time their eyes landed on each other.
“Is everything okay?” The question rolled out of her mouth.
“Do you want to see the fireworks together?” At the same time, this comes out of him.
***
Then there they are. Standing next to each other, leaning forward on the railing with anticipating looks on their faces as the two gazes at the sky above them. She had her arms propped on top of the railing as she put her chin on top of it. A smile on her face. “You sure really do know how to pick a spot, Kento.” She commented.
The boy beside her just hummed at the comment she made. Eyeing her smile with warmness in his eyes despite the coldness of the night air. Then he gazed down at the festival that could be seen from their spot. The sounds of people chanting began louder and louder at midnight and kept getting closer. “We’re going to graduate soon.” She said, not tearing her eyes away from the dark sky that would be colored within seconds. “I want nothing more but to spend what possibly is the last New Year’s Eve I’ll spend together with you at this moment. Thanks for the invitation, Kento.”
“You know, don’t you?” He asked but did not give her a chance to answer it. “That I’m going to leave.” She went quiet, the sad smile on her face had explained the truth to him, so he continued his words. “After all of that had happened this past year, I found nothing but pain in what we do. I guess quitting all of these could help lessen the pain. At least that’s what I hope.”
No longer propping her arms against the railing, her hands gripped it instead, her thumb softly brushing over the top of her palm. Her eyes gaze downwards to the festival. “The pain won’t go away. We’ve been through the same journey. I know what you feel.” She turned to look him in the eyes. “If quitting would help your pain then that’s your decision, Kento. There is no need to feel sorry. I’ve found ways to lessen my pain too. In the presence of those whom I love. You too, don’t you? That’s why you brought me here.”
Then color erupted in the air. The night was a gloomy dark canvas and those fireworks are the paint that is tasked to brighten it just for a brief moment. A celebration. A light of reassurance that the year that had yet to come would be as bright as the night during its first day. She had averted her gaze away to admire the colors. A smile appeared on her face.
“Happy New Year, Nanami Kento.” She said, gently.
He copied her words. Saying her name at the end of his sentence, making her smile wider just by hearing it. “It’s beautiful.” He commented out loud, eyeing the colors in the sky.
“What? The moon?” She asked him with one of her eyebrows raised in a cheeky manner. Referencing the night where he had said those words that she still did not know the meaning of. Nanami quite literally gaped at her words, not expecting her to bring that up after that quick heartfelt conversation between them. Then a burst of laughter comes out of her. “I’m just joking. Don’t need to look so embarrassed like that. You’re making my heart pound with that expression of yours.”
The two shared laughs that night. Despite all of the pains that they both had gone through. Because she was right, Nanami did find another way to lessen the pain that he held. That is by being beside the person whom he feels dearly about.
***
It was not until their graduation night that they both spent the night together by each other’s side once more. This time for the last time before he cuts all of the ties that bind him with this world. It was quite somber, the mood that night. But there were still fragments of comforting feelings in it.
“Kento, promise me,” She said, holding up her pinky finger to him, a red hue covering some part of her face as she looked him right in the eyes. “Fall in love with me.” That ended up sounding more like a demand than a wish. “In the future, if we ever meet again.......outside or inside of this wretched world we know, that is hidden from those mundane people. If you ever opened your heart to someone. Let it be me.”
Not getting any response, she let herself turn her head away without lowering her hand, feeling embarrassment kicking into her. The world around her was holding her to the ground as reality came back to her. The reality. A finger wrapped itself around her. “There is no reassurance on when the future would come. So must it be in the future?” He asked. And she could swear that her heart beats thrice faster as the words come out of his mouth.
“But then again, we’ll be much ready by then. I’m still new to this kind of stuff and I know that you are too. We will understand this more in the future, right? The feeling that has been in your heart for such a long time. The feeling that has been on my heart for quite some time if not as long as you.” He said those words with so much sincerity. The words that come straight out of his heart with nothing interfering between them.
Is this the reality that she had dreamed of her whole life? Did the Nanami Kento just indirectly confess his feelings to her? If the reality of her life would be this sweet then she wished to not ever sleep ever again. Then she wished to stay at that moment forever as the words he just said kept replaying in her mind. “You’ll keep it too, right? The promise?” He said again, trying to take a glimpse of her face as she looked down at her lap—the side of her face was hidden by her hair.
Then he heard a sniffle come out of her, followed by the drop of tears down to her lap. Brushing the hair out of her face, he leaned down and took a more clear look at her face. “I asked you a question then you cried about it. That’s not how it works, you know.” His hand went to the side of her face, wiping the tears away from her glassy eyes.
She choked back a strained laugh before wrapping her arms around his neck. Brings him to her embrace. His hands instantly latched around her waist. Securing the comfort that both radiated in the cold of the night. “You just have to choose the moment before we separate to say that, huh? That isn’t fair.” She complained, leaning her forehead on his shoulder as the tears streamed down her face, staining his blue shirt.
He leaned back to hold her face with one of his hands while the others were still holding her by the waist. “Didn’t we just make a promise?” He asked softly. Her hand slowly wrapped itself around the one that holds her face, her fingers falling naturally in between his fingers. Before she turned her head, enough to kiss the inner of his palm, gaining a soft gasp from him.
He found himself eyeing the plump of her lips that was touching his skin. And then to her eyes that look at him as if he were the most mesmerizing being in this world. Nothing but love and affection are filled in it. His gaze mirrored hers, looking at her the same way as she did to him.
Then he turned the hands that were holding her face around, intertwining their fingers before bringing them close to his mouth, bringing her close too as he did so. A soft kiss pressed against the top of her palm while his eyes didn’t lose the connection they had with hers. Her mouth opened a bit as if she were about to say something.
“Don’t say it.” He said. “Let those words stay in your heart until we meet again.”
She nodded softly, a sad smile on her face. “I’ll keep my promise too, Kento.” She paused before leaning her head closer as she whispered to his ear. “Until we meet again.”
Arms wrapped around one another. There was peace in between the goodbyes that were uttered. The string of hope shimmered in the dark, unseen by the eyes of the two clueless people. The reassurance of the future that might just exist if they hold onto their promise.
***
Then so it goes. Time flew with them not being on each other’s side. Each day, separated by the different paths of the life that they took. Living the life that they had chosen. Years passed and yet their hearts still yearn for the other’s presence. Sometimes it’s hard to ignore the urge to when you know where they are. But both respected each other’s decision so much that they stayed out of the other’s life. Letting fate choose the moment where their path would cross one another.
And sometimes, during New Year’s Eve, when not busy, she would go to the place where they had once spent the night together. With a slight hope of him being at the same place. But alas her wish was never granted as she looks up to the sky with the reflection of colors in her eyes. Then she would close them, pretending that his presence was beside her. Her hands press a letter to the place where her heart beats against her ribcage.
I missed you.
A quick silent prayer was made before she left the scene. Now she is going for her first appointed mission in this new year. Hence the reason why she wrote a letter for such a long time.
***
Being dragged around by her white-haired senior was not how she wanted to spend the day off after her long exhausting mission. But what else could she do but let him do what he wanted? There is no way to go against what Gojo Satoru wants after all.
“You’re going to love this.” He said. The white-haired man was practically skipping through the hallway, tangling his left arm with her right—not exactly touching since he has his infinity on—dragging her around the school area. Her? Well, she just let him do it, not having much energy left from her last mission. “Ah, I can already imagine the look on his face when he sees you. You really missed a lot of things since your mission.”
He? The word caught her interest as the two slowed down a little bit, she untangled her arm from his, now standing in front of him, stopping him in his tracks as she did so. “I don’t have time for your silly games, Gojo-san. Whatever is this, better make it quick.” She let out a small yawn, stretching her arms upwards. “You do realize that I just got back from my mission. I need to rest.”
Gojo’s gaze falls onto something behind her, a mischievous yet proud look comes up on his face. Whatever it was he was looking at, she wasn’t sure if she was going to like it or not. “Hehe. You’re going to thank me later.” He then waved his arms around at something-or perhaps in this case someone behind her.
Then the voice of Itadori Yuuji could be heard in her ears as he got closer to the two. She had the chance to meet the boy who had the unfortunate fate of being Sukuna’s vessel. But that was not what made her straighten her pose, it was his words. Or to be more specific, the name he had uttered. Her back was still turned against them, her view being Gojo who raised his eyebrows at her.
“Nanamin-san, how long has it been since you came here? Has it always looked like this? I wonder if it ever changed since your school days.” Nanamin. Now that is a name she hears now and then, thrown around by Gojo Satoru to tease her. But the presence of the person was one that she hadn’t felt for quite a long time.
Her eyes finally found Gojo’s who was giving her a knowing look, smirking at the red hue that began to appear on her cheeks. He puts his hands on top of her shoulder, turning her around as his eyes then fall back onto his student and his tall blonde junior. “Yo Nanamin. Yuuji.” He approached the two of them. An arm wrapped around the shoulder of his junior who was looking at the ground.
The two stopped in their tracks as Gojo and her walked closer to them. Nanami's gaze practically latches onto her instantly, quite obvious for someone who rarely shows a fragment of their feelings. “Ah Sensei, are you two going somewhere? Nanamin-san right here was about to tell me about his school days.” Yuuji pointed at the older guy beside him, an innocent grin plastered on his face.
“Is that so, Nanamin?” Gojo teased him with the nickname Itadori had given him. “I didn’t say anything.” He replied almost too quickly.
Leaning forward to his student, Gojo spoke with a smirk on his face. “You know, Yuuji. Nanamin’s school days were very very interesting.” He wiggled his eyebrows, glancing at her who narrowed her eyes at him. “Actually, your other sensei here was friends with him. Really close friends. Right, Nanamin?”
She could feel his eyes going back and forth between her and Gojo before he uttered his answer. “Don’t you have somewhere else to be?” He asked expressionlessly, but she could still detect the annoyed tone hidden beneath it.
Gojo’s smirk went even wider that it stretched all over his cheek. “Ahh, sadly you’re right. And as much as I want to stay here to watch. I do have somewhere else to go and I need Yuuji with me.”
“You do?” The boy wondered out loud.
“Yes, I do. Now come come. Let’s leave my two beloved juniors to reunite.” He went up to the boy and dragged him away. His voice echoed out loud in the hallway until eventually, it went quiet when he was far enough.
And that leaves the two alone. But together. With all of the words that are threatening to go out of their hearts. Words that both had yet to have the time to express with one another. She inhaled sharply before letting her eyes meet his. For a split second, it did before she avoided his sharp gaze again. Somehow she suddenly found it hard to say anything to him during this moment even though her mind was practically screaming at her to speak.
“It’s been a while.” He said, making her head snap to look at him once more, this time not breaking their gaze. His voice itself is still strong enough to weaken her knees. The power this man held over her over the years is crazy. “How have you been?” He asked.
She let out a breathy chuckle, a smile on her face. “I’m great.” Then she paused for a bit, considering what to say before she continued. “Well not really cause you know, this was actually supposed to be my day off and I was going to rest after my long mission which probably you had heard about from the others. But other than that, I’m doing fine. You?” She looked at him expectantly.
The tension on his shoulders was already gone by the time she finished her sentence. His eyebrows, however, were furrowed at the mention of the fact that today was supposed to be her day off. “You should stop letting others drag you around when you’re supposed to rest.”
Her eyes brightened up at his words. “Ah, you’ve always been the you-have-to-rest-or-else person. When asked a question, you should come up with an answer instead of a scold, Kento.” She said, but then stopped when she realized she just called him by his first name after all of the times they have spent apart from each other. “Is it okay if I call you with-”
“Why would I mind? You can call me anything you want and I would still let you every single time.” His comment made her go quiet. Her cheeks flushed at his warm words as she averted her gaze away from him. This gave him a chance to actually take in her appearance.
“You changed your hair.” He commented once more.
“Do you not like it?” She wondered, raising her eyebrows. Hand unconsciously inching towards the end of her hair.
“No. No. I think it suits you.”
She smiled while nodding her head, then looked at him. “I like your hair too. It has changed a lot since the last time we met.” Her eyes gaze on every inch of his face. Years that they spent not being together surely had changed him a lot in terms of appearances. If anything, age just brings more attractiveness to him. “I like it a lot. I can see more of you now.” She said.
He chuckled. And if she didn’t know him that well, she wouldn’t say that he was shy at the moment. But she does know him so well and Nanami Kento was indeed shy as the corner of his mouth slightly turned upwards. “You really should get a rest right now.” He said.
“You’re right.” She said, not averting her gaze away from him. Her eyes twinkled in amusement as a suggestion came into her mind. “Do you want to.........?” She gestured over her shoulders.
Then, naturally, he falls into the steps beside her as they both walk towards her room. Usually, she wouldn’t stay at the school’s grounds, but since she was too tired to go back to her apartment unit that is quite far from the school, she stayed in her old room. Besides, she had to send the reports to Yaga this morning, hence the reason why Gojo found her lurking around and decided to drag her to Nanami.
Then she cut him off before he could speak a word. “You don’t have to answer unless you want to.” Then no one spoke. Silence once again engulfed the two of them. She steps a bit farther to her right, creating a bigger space between them.
“How was your previous job?” I love you.
“How was your mission?” I love you.
The two stopped in their tracks, looking at each other as the words came out of their mouths simultaneously. Then she smiled, the smile that he has been yearning for years. Oh, how he missed seeing that smile. Clearing his throat, he finally speaks. “It was repetitive. Every day feels like the same day. The cycle of 24 hours keeps repeating itself. All the same routines.”
She smiled but not quite reached her eyes. “Sounds like the perfect environment for you. Salesman, right? Gojo-san told me.” Her eyes are downcasted to the ground before she looks up back at him once more. “The mission was a success, by the way. It took a while, draining a lot of energy, but I managed to complete it in the end.” She said, continuing their walk.
He stepped closer to her, closing the gap that she had created earlier. His eyes roamed to her body, scanning for any injuries that are yet to be healed. Then it landed on her bruised hand, the one that is brushing against his hand. She noticed this. “I’m okay. You don’t need to worry. I went to Shoko-san right after I got back yesterday. Nothing too severe or something like that.” She informed, before looking back to the front, trying to ignore the fact that she could feel the palm of his hand brushing against hers.
Then a hand landed on her shoulders, grasping them gently, stopping her from walking farther than him. Back to reality, she was. Noticing that they were already in front of her room. Seems that she spent too much time trying to focus her mind on anything else other than him, that she was zoning out a bit longer than she intended to.
She turned her body to gaze up at him and there he was already looking down at her. His hand still hovering above her shoulder as if he were trying to do something else, hesitantly. Her eyes flicker onto his lips for a split second before she quickly averted her eyes back to his eyes. “I guess, I’ll see you around?” The words come out of her mouth involuntarily. Betraying the one that is spoken in her mind.
Maybe it is just her feelings or maybe Nanami’s shoulders sank at the words that she uttered. A disappointed look took over his face for a moment as he took a step away from her, putting a distance between them. Just like she did earlier.
It’s been years. There’s no way he is still holding onto that promise, she thought.
Maybe she doesn’t feel the same anymore, he thought.
Putting a smile on her face, she looked down to the ground and when she looked back up, he noticed that it wasn’t her usual smile for it did not reach her eyes. “It’s nice to meet you again, Kento.” She speaks. And if Nanami could choose to only hear one thing in his life. It would be her voice that he chooses out of all of the choices there are in the world.
Then he was no longer looking at her. He was looking at the dark brown color of her door that she closed after he uttered the same words as her. What about the promise? He wondered. His eyes lowered to the ground, wishing to see a glimpse of her shadow from the gap between the door and the floor. I already understand my feelings now. Those feelings that reside in my heart for so long. They only grow even bigger without your presence.
Beat.
The sound of a door opening.
Beat.
“I love you.” He said out loud.
A sharp gasp could be heard. Eyes widened and there she was in front of him again. Mouth agape. A letter pressed on top of the place where her heart beats thrice faster against her ribcage. Their eyes connected to one another. A chuckle comes out of her mouth, followed by a laugh. A happy one.
She leaped if not maybe she jumped. But it doesn’t matter because his arms instantly latched around her waist, catching her as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Laughter echoed, vibrating against his skin. He did not realize it but he was laughing too. The Nanami Kento. Laughing. Surely that is a sight to see. She had heard him laugh before, but never this happy.
Her feet no longer touch the floor as he lifts her a few inches off the ground. “I love you. I love you. I love you, Nanami Kento. And I love being in love with you.” She said, pulling back to look into his eyes. The letter has been discarded on the floor, no longer needed as the content has been said out loud and not written on a piece of paper anymore.
It was as if at that moment, they both had become younger. Becoming the two silly teenagers they were. Except, she wasn't the only one to be in love. “It never changed. Not even a bit.” She leaned her forehead against his, closing her eyes, a wide smile on her face.
“Thank you,” A hand gripped her chin softly. “For waiting for me.” Just like that, the gap between them disappeared as he leaned his lips forwards.
It was a profound love. A burst of ecstasy in the dim light of the hallway. It’s a risky move, to be in love with someone. Even a bigger risk to take in the world that they are living in. But it’s a risk that they are willing to take. Because nothing could ever separate them again. Love is an absurd and the most unexplainable feeling that you could ever feel. You don’t ask to be in love. You don’t know when to be in love. And yet when it happened, it just did. Most of the time, it’ll hurt you. And it would be the most pleasing pain that you would ever feel. Cause even though it hurts. It’ll stay as love. And when two people fell in love with one another. The stars will shine brighter than they did before. The world around them would celebrate the unity of the two souls. The line of threads would tangle with one another and never once separate ever again. For eternity.
summary : in which meeting the sunshine of hawkins high would be the last things he ever thought would happened that day
wordcount : 2.7k
a/n : deciding to finally post this cause i’ve been continuing to write this fluff as a coping mechanism since THAT scene comes out
Eddie Munson and her have been going out for almost two years now. Yes, the Eddie ‘Cult Leader’ Munson. No one ever understands what she sees in him. They are two completely different people. Let’s emphasize that one more time, two completely different kinds of people. The idea of the ‘cult leader’ falling for the little miss sunshine of Hawkins High School had never come up in anyone’s mind before. If you’re new to the town and you met her, you would think that she must be dating a goody-two-shoes or another perfect golden boy that matches her. But nope, out of everyone, she falls for the one they call freak instead.
But Eddie was no freak. Not in her eyes at least. He was unique and never once did she ever think that made him a freak, not even when they first met in the hallway. It was no movie or fairytale type of love story, far from it actually. She first saw him running down the hall back when he first received his Hellfire Club Shirt, if she remembered it correctly. It was 1981, she was a freshman whose eyes by fate fell onto the sophomore with crazy hair in the hallway. It was hard to miss him at that moment, for he was quite literally laughing maniacally with the other club members.
“Who is that?” She asked during that moment to her friend who was scrunching her nose at the sight of them. “The members of Hellfire Club. Better not meddle with any of them. They said they are,” Her friend leaned close to her ear. “An undercover satanic cult.” She whispered in a low voice.
Eyes wide open, she looked back at the bunch of people who now are standing at the end of the hallway. “Really? They look quite…………” Eddie turned around, eyes now accidentally connected with hers. Putting his hand behind his head, making horns with them as he sticks his tongue out before turning back to his friends—she doesn’t know what he was trying to mimic at that moment. Demon? They looked nothing alike at all. “Unique.” She continued her words.
“Freaks might be the right word to describe them.” Her friend commented once more.
She turned around to look at her. “I think I have to disagree on that.” Turning back around, her eyes followed him until he was out of her sight. Something about him felt so familiar to her but she couldn’t tell why so instead she brushed off the feelings before continuing her way to the class with her friend. Still, during the time in her class, she kept feeling as if she had forgotten something that once was something constant to her.
***
“What are you doing here?”
She turned around almost immediately—an alarmed look on her face, her hands in front of her in a what-seems-to-be-a fighting stance. But the tension on her shoulders went away when she saw who it was behind her. Just the person she was looking for. Eddie Munson has his arms on the side of his waist as he looks at her with a suspicious gaze. It was 1982 this time and here they are in front of Hellfire Club hideout-lair-whatever you called it. School time was over so Eddie was confused about what little miss perfect was doing wandering around the area.
His gaze went around them warily. “Is this a prank? Are your prissy boys around to disrupt our peaceful ‘satanic cult’ meeting? Cause that would be pointless, I’m the only one left here.” Eddie began to walk away from her, head craned up at the possible hiding spots around them. “Come out. Come out. I’m going to hex you with my spells. Boo. Haa.” He stomps over to look behind a classroom door.
She slowly followed him from behind as he began to walk down the hallway once more, hands stretched out, making some weird-ish movements. A slight smile formed on her face as she watched him. “It’s just me here. No prissy boys around.” She puts her hands together in front of her, slightly rocking back and forth on her feet.
The boy turned around, raising his eyebrows. “Quick rewind. Let’s go back to our first question. What are you doing here?” He asked, leaning a bit closer to the girl.
“I was expecting to meet…….you?” She said letting out an awkward chuckle, brushing her hands over her hair, a habit of hers.
“You. You? Okay, listen, Princess,” He leaned even close to her as if trying to scare her away. “This isn’t exactly the place where you belong and I think you are smart enough to figure that out. If I were you I would turn my back and get out of here before the people your friends call freaks put some curse on you. Cause that is what we do all the time.” He said, sarcastically, waving his arms around once more.
She crossed her arms with an unamused look on her face, looking up at him. “And here I thought you would be the one who won’t judge people by how they look like. Guess you and my friends have something in common after all.” She turned around and took some steps away from him.
Realizing what she just said, Eddie immediately took some long steps catching up with her in no time, walking backward beside her—his hands up in a stop motion, although she kept walking past him, ignoring it. “Woah, Woah, Woah, princess. Let's not compare me with them and say that we are the same. We are like water and milk, we can’t be mixed.” He said.
Stopping her steps, she let out a chuckle at his choice of words. “You’re a funny guy, Eddie Munson.”
“That’s………new.” He replied. The corner of his mouth went up for a split second, betraying the ‘intimidating’ look he tried to muster moments earlier. “And now, you’re fully laughing at me.” He continued as the girl continued laughing as if he just said the funniest joke on earth.
“The saying is water and oil, not milk. By saying milk, you’re just proving my point that you are not very much different from them.” She put a firm smile at her sentence, eyebrows raised in a joking manner as Eddie took in her words and realized what his mistake was. “Are you?” She asked.
Putting his hands together in front of him, he took a step back from her. “Nope.” He said, popping the ‘P’ as he did. “We’re different. Different like water and oil, not water and milk.” He paused for a moment before looking back at her, continuing his words. “Should I write that down? In case, I said the wrong comparison again but in front of your friends. That would not look good at all.”
“You probably should, yeah. And no, they’re not my friends. Not really.”
“Are you not close?” He asked a low chuckle bellowed from his throat.
“Not in a friend friend sense in my opinion.” She crossed her arms. “More like we-got-the-same-lifestyle-and-have-to-stick-together friends.”
Eddie copied her move and also went to cross his arms, still standing in front of her. “And does that have anything to do with your presence here right now, Princess? Expecting to meet me? You don’t think I forgot about your statement, right?” He put on a smile, no longer having any tension on his shoulders.
“I-Well I was……you know,” She stammered a little bit, flaying her hands around. “Well, I wasn’t expecting to actually see you……here. So I don’t know…maybe I just want to. I’m still searching for the right reason.” Trailing off at the end of her words, she looks down to the ground, feeling the embarrassment getting into her.
“You want to meet me without any………specific reasons?” He asked, sounding confused.
Biting the inner of her cheek, she looks up at him. “Would you actually believe me if I said that?”
Eddie went quiet, eyes watching her silently while tapping his feet to the floor rhythmically. He went to open up his mouth a few times but then went silent again as if he was doing it on purpose to keep making her wait for his answer. Clicking his tongue to the roof of his mouth, he finally answered her. “Would you believe me if I said yes?” Then he spoke again before she could reply to him. “I mean it’s shocking, obviously. Little Miss Sunshine alone with the school’s freak, I would sell this story to the school newspaper and make it the hot news of the week. I could make a lot of money from that.” His hands wander and grab the air as if it were raining money at that moment, then he went around her, hands still chasing the invisible money around them.
She chuckled at his attics, ducking her head as his hands went to grab an invisible dollar above her. “Would you actually do that?” She asked, the side of her mouth lifting upwards, curving a smile.
Eddie stopped counting the stack of money in his hands, head turned towards her, then he put the money in his back pockets before going back in front of her. “They won’t believe me even if I do. Besides, I’m interested to see how this one goes.” He said.
A thought—more like a memory comes into her mind that leads her to ask the next question. “Do you still play?” She asked suddenly, her head snapped around to look at him, her arms hugging the side of her body. “You were in a band if I remember correctly.” She looks at him with wandering eyes.
“Yes, and I am still in the band. I’m surprised you remember. Are you stalking me, princess? Cause this is getting creepy. I’m getting creepy vibes over here.” He makes a sudden move by reaching for her hand before digging into his back pocket, grabbing the money, and putting it on the top of her palm. “Do whatever you want with this money, but please don’t hurt me and leave me alone.” He raised his eyebrows jokingly at her, before letting go of her hand.
She scoffed with a light chuckle. “How am I asking you that equivalent with being creepy, Munson?” She asked, looking at the ground before her gaze going back to him. “I saw one of your performances two years back. I mean, Corroded Coffin? Not exactly the name you’ll forget.” She commented.
“Was that your reason?” He pursed his lips, arm crossed again, looking at her.
She shakes her head. “More like a random thought that comes to my mind."
Eddie stepped back away from her, rocking back and forth on his feet. “I take it as you didn’t stay after the performance, cause I don’t recall seeing your face anywhere there.” He asked. She cringed right after hearing him, looking embarrassed as she put her hand on the back of her neck. “Yeah, no. I…….I kinda sneaked out of my house that day.”
“To watch me?” He puts his hand on his chest, bowing down slightly. “I’m honored.”
She rolled her eyes at his attics. “To watch your band. Don’t fantasize too much.” She said.
Eddie went around her again, putting his hands together in front of his chest. “Oh, I don’t. Some people do sneak around—breaking the rules to meet me from time to time. Guess the freak charm does work on some people” He glanced at her.
“Oh, is that so?” She crossed her arms in front of her when all of a sudden, he took a long step to lean close to her, making her lean her head back slightly. “Well if not then you won’t be here right now, won’t you, Princess?” He smirked proudly, looking right into her eyes. The air around them changed instantly just from one sentence that he said. Curse Eddie Munson for speaking the truth that she tries to not show in the daylight.
A hue of red came up to her cheeks, finding herself unable to answer his question so instead she averted her gaze and bit the inner of her lips. “Don’t get too excited. Your thoughts could make you fly to the sky, but the reality could easily bring you back to the ground.” She simply stated, ending her words with a firm smile, giving him a look that said ‘say something back I dare you’
Eddie snorted at her words, shaking his head slightly. “That was smart.” He pointed his finger to her face before repeating his words again. “And….it was a lie. People don’t sneak around to meet me,” He said, leaning his head away, although he did not try to put some distance between the two. “Well there are a few that I can’t say the name of and they come for the same specific reasons but other than that, nope. You’re the first one.”
She looked back at him, pursing her lips together. “I’m honored.” Putting her hand on her chest, she copied his movement from some minutes ago. Eddie couldn't help but put on a smile as he noticed that. “You know, you’re not so bad to be around with. I thought Miss Sunshine would be too scared to come down here but turns out, she had sneaked around to watch the freak performance once. Guess we do learn new things every day.” He said while maintaining his gaze on her.
Raising one of her eyebrows, she didn’t look away from him as she felt a surge of confidence come into her, so she spoke out her mind before it went away. “I can stay around if you want to know more about me so bad, Munson.” The corner of her lips went slightly upwards as she said that. She’ll be embarrassed the next day but during that moment, there was nothing but satisfaction as she took in the look on his face. How have the tables turned cause now Eddie is the one to be at a loss of words instead of her.
His agape mouth turned into a wide smile as he let out an awkward chuckle, biting his lips while snapping his fingers together at her. “Was that a request of friendship that I hear?” He leaned closer to her, however this time she didn’t move to lean her head back. “Are you proposing that you, little miss sunshine of Hawkins, and me, Eddie the freak as they said so, should become friends?”
She nodded, pursing her lips together. “Friendship sounds like a nice place to start as.”
“To start as, huh. How do you reckon this one will end as?” He asked her.
Tilting her head, she went around him, making him turn his body around to follow her. “I have an idea in my mind but I guess it’ll have to wait a little longer before I voice it out loud.” She said, raising her right hand to the air between them. Eddie found himself nodding at the suggestion, clasping his hand around hers, shaking it lightly. “Yeah? I think so too.” He commented.
“Oh, you know what’s on my mind, friend?” She asked, raising one of her eyebrows, not letting go of his hand, emphasizing the last word.
Eddie tugged her hand a bit so she stumbled forward and stopped exactly a step away from him. He put his hands on her shoulder for her to regain her balance back. “Wait a little longer then we’ll find out if my guess is right or not, friend.” He said, looking down at her to find her eyes already looking up at him. Those pairs of eyes that would slowly become something that he adores eventually.
“Glad we agree, Eddie.” She bites the inner of her cheek to suppress the wide smile that is threatening to let out of its cage. The cage that holds the real reason why she went there in the first place. It’s not like she could say it out loud as if it were something casual. Hi, Eddie Munson. I like you. I’ve had a crush on you ever since that night when I saw you performing and somehow my mind forgot about that even though it lasted for quite a long time then the memory of that suddenly snapped into my mind when I saw you again in the hallway that day. Surely she couldn’t say that out loud. Not right now at least. For now, they are friends.
summary : in which eddie wrote you a song. a tune of his love for you or in which she falls first, but he falls harder.
wordcount : gonna be around 2k to 4k
a/n : very much inspired by the interaction between him and chrissy
masterlist
Eddie Munson and her have been going out for almost two years now. Yes, the Eddie ‘Cult Leader’ Munson. No one ever understands what she sees in him. They are two completely different people. Let’s emphasize that one more time, a completely different kind of person. The idea of the ‘cult leader’ falling for the little miss sunshine of Hawkins High School had never come up in anyone’s mind before. If you’re new to the town and you met her, you would think that she must be dating some basketball guy or some other perfect golden boy that matches her. But nope, out of everyone, she falls for the one they call freak instead.
“This isn’t exactly the place for you.”
“Why?”
“This is weird. It ain’t normal.”
“And here I thought you would be the last person to judge someone by the looks of them, Munson.”
“Baby, I don’t judge. I’m giving you a warning.”
“Oh yeah? Then maybe I am crazy for taking an interest on the school’s freak”
summary : in which eddie munson fell for the little-miss-perfect aka the sunhine of hawkins high
tags : fluff, tooth-rooting fluff maybe?, suggestive jokes 👀, lowkey grumpy x sunshine but not really?, opposite attract, friends to lovers, she falls first but he fell harder, idiots in love, happy vibes only
a/n : i kinda love that chrissy and eddie scenes a little bit too much so now i’m writing this as a coping mechanism after what happened (the idea come before volume 2 so there won’t be a single angst in this one cause my man deserves his happy ending right?) the first idea was about eddie playing a song he made for her, but then i decided to cut it into two part. first part being the history of their relationship, while the song for her part would he on the second part
masterlist
chapter 01 : the meeting
posted on 5th july
in which meeting the sunshine of hawkins high would be the last things he ever thought would happened that day
chapter 02 : song for you
will be posted in a few days
in which eddie wrote her a song in a completely different genre of what he usually listens to and it was kinda……weird but cute
this is a concept edit ig. what if i write another ben one-shots where she of course have to fight against him or something like that. it can set on the same world as memories (the prequel or whatever when they just arrive at the sparrow academy)
it’ll be kind if the “whatever i’ve done. i did it for love” or the “taking it all for us, ohh. I’m doing it all for love”
genre : angst, there might be fluff (not gonna reveal anything)
warning : mention of death, implied suic!dal thoughts
summary : in which she has to face her fears to reveal to truth that are hidden beneath it
wordcount : 2.5k
a/n : and we’re finally on part 3 which is the last part of this mini-series. thank you guysss
Staring at the person—or body, Steve wasn’t sure anymore if the one in front of him was still his best friend or not. Was it too late? Can he save her? A million questions went into his head. A shaky breath came out of his mouth as he took a step back, too scared to face the reality in front of him. “It’s not working. Why-Why is it not-Why is it not working?!” He turned to face Max with a look that she had never seen on his face before—the look of despair.
Max took a step back from him, the memory of what had just happened to her hours ago creeping into her mind, not a feeling she would like to experience again. She stammered, couldn’t form a sentence as the words jumbled into some incoherent sounds. “I-I don’t get it. It's supposed to work. She must have seen the gate by now. She-She must….run towards it, unless……” Her voice died at the end as a realization hit her like a nightmare.
With tears brimming at the edge of her eyes, she turned to look at Steve who looked up as the realization hit him too—so did the other people in that room. Robin’s shoulder sank at the thought of losing one of her best friends. Almost all of them flinched when Steve grabbed the nearest thing to him and threw it to the other side of the room, not being able to control his feelings at all during that moment. Letting out a few curse words, he grabbed her shoulders, shaking her violently, wishing that it would wake her up. Wishing that it would wake him up from the living nightmare. “Not like this. Not like this. I won’t let you go away like this. No. No.” He puts his forehead on her shoulder, gripping her side tightly, scared that she might start to levitate from the ground like Max did.
“If this is about your parents. To hell with them. They don't deserve you but-but you have us. All of us. We’re all here for you. Come on, please.” Shaky laughter came out of him as the tears streamed down faster down his cheeks.
“Please……, don’t leave me. That’s all I ever asked from you. And-and I don’t know if you can hear me right now, but I know sometimes there are moments where you feel like you don't exist. That’s untrue. You’ve always been there. In my world. Ever since the beginning.”
“Those pink shoes that are always left untied. It bothered me so much, you know? I never told you but it always does. You always come to school with them untied so I brave up myself to do something about it, that day when I first approached you. I was shy. When you didn’t say anything, I thought you might see me as a creep for noticing that.” He paused as the world began to crumble, his voice faded as the fates held him by the throat.
Dustin stepped forward, tears staining his cheeks as he tried his best to muster a brave look. “When I got back from Summer Camp, you were the first one to notice me. Not Steve. Not the party. You. Mom was buying something in the store and suddenly there you were, knocking on the window and I’ll never forget what you said. ‘Dustin Henderson, you don’t know how long I’ve been waiting for this date to come. Welcome home, kid.’ Those words—seem meaningless but it warmed my heart the fact that you remember the date of my arrival. That day I know how special it is to have someone waiting to meet you. To have someone whose faces light up when they meet you cause that’s how happy they are. And I just-And I just want you to know that-that’s me. I’m that someone when I see you. I’ll never forget you.”
Soon one by one stepped up, telling their stories about her-about her in their world—including Eddie who despite having very limited stories to tell about, still stepped up and told them about his encounter with her. “You’re like a sister to me. There were times where I stayed up at night and wished there was a world out there where you really are my sister. You cared and loved people so dearly and it is a privilege to be one of those people you cared and loved about.” That's what Max said about her.
Steve's steady breath began to shake again as he felt her slipping away from his grasp. “No. No. Were you not listening at all?! I-I, God, please.” Using all the strength left inside him, he tries to hold her still. “Run to it. Please,” He called out her name, voice cracking as he did so. “Hold on. Please hold onto us. Was it not enough? Not enough reasons? Not just me but every person in this room, they-they held you dearly close to their heart. You make-you make our days better with your presence and it's sickening that your world won’t let you see the truth that is laid in front of your eyes.”
He could faintly hear Nancy and the others calling out his name, but all he could hear was the memories of them together. Leaning close to her ear, he whispered one last thing. “It was never empty. That space in my heart. And it is not filled by Nancy. It is full of you.” Then he lets go of her body, letting fates decide what happened next.
***
Hearing all of those words entirely made her draw a deep, shuddering breath. Tears stained her cheeks as she took a little step back, looking at Vecna who was getting closer to her—still taunting her with his lies and words despite what she had just heard. “No one loves you. Not entirely. Lies are all they said. I can show you the truth.”
“Those are the truth.” She took a step back again, looking behind her shoulders.
It tilted its head to the side. “Or is it?” It said.
Raising its hand to the air, Vecna spoke once again. “Wasn’t it death that you had wished for? That you long for.” It took a painfully slow step towards her, time flew slower around her as the few moments felt like forever. She looks back to the portal that seems so close yet so far from. The barrier between her life and death.
What is the point of going back to her life if she hadn’t faced all of those fears in front of her. “An unloving family you have. Friends who couldn’t give the same attention as you gave them. A lover you have not. Is that the kind of world you are willing to go back to? They only care because I got you now, wrapped inside my world. The world where you exist.” Her steps come to a halt as if its words are getting inside her once more, sticking itself to her brain like a parasite that won’t come off. Those thoughts that always haunt her life. “They’ll forget not even by tomorrow. Your death would be nothing but a quick meaningless one. It’ll be as if you never existed before.”
Voices filled her ears, faintly but clear to her. Come back. Come back. Don’t leave me. I’ll never forget you. It is full of you. They said. She could feel it getting to her even from the distance between them it was as if the air around her were starting to choke her and bring her up. Tears brimming at the edge of her eyes as she looks at Vecna. Those voices. Their voices. Their words. Can she hold onto that? Would that be enough reason for her to hold on? Would she not slip away from their words if it is not strong enough?
A string of hope tied itself to her, letting her hang onto it once more, this time she refused to let go of it ever again. “You’re wrong. Not even close to the truth. You think I’m weak enough to fall for your words. To fall for my own thoughts. My nightmares. If I ever to die in your hands, being forgotten would be the last thing I intended to be in their minds.” She could feel its hold on her weakened the more she spoke of her own feelings. “I’ve found peace………not because of you. But for once in my life, I listened to my one thoughts that truly belonged to me. And I……,” Standing back tall on her feet again as the hold it had on her had gone completely. “I have no intention to succumb today.”
Then she ran.
And never once did she look back.
***
The warm embrace of Steve Harrington was the first thing she fell onto when she got back. Her hands slipped around him naturally, not wanting to ever let go again as he wept onto her shoulders. She still has her eyes closed, afraid that if she opened it, all of them would vanish and she would still be stuck in there. “I thought I lost you. I almost lost you.” Those are the words that Steve managed to choke out.
She could feel the others reaching to her, a hand that feels like Max’s grabbing onto her right one, brushing her thumb against hers. “Thank you,” She croaked out, opening her eyes slowly. “For everything.” A smile went up to her face as the tears still streamed down her cheeks. One by one she looks at their eyes, each filled with relief. These are the truths that her world always hides her from. The truth she never managed to see for she was too focused on the darker side of her world.
Lastly, she pulled back a little to face Steve who is avoiding her face. Everyone seems to get the memo at this point as one by one starts to leave them to have their own moment together. Nancy threw a relieved smile before she lastly exited the room alongside Robin. “Steve,” She called out his name, cupping his cheek trying to get him to look at her directly. “Hey, Steve.”
“I’m right here, aren’t I? I’m okay.” She wiped her tears away, plastering a wide smile to prove it to him. The look on Steve’s face brings her pain and comfort at the same time. The thoughts of being mourned like this mean that her presence does have a big impact in his world. “Well, physically okay. Mentally, I don’t know. It was quite a scary experience.”
“I almost lost you,” He said those words again, this time looking directly at her, leaning on her palm that is holding his face. “I don’t know how I could live with the memory of your death plagued into my mind forever. I would never get to forgive myself if that ever happened. Never.”
“What happened is none of your fault at all. It was between me and my world. Don’t blame yourself for it. You couldn’t control something of mine that I have yet to learn to control, Steve.” The close distance between them allowed her to finally hear the skipped beat of his heart at the mention of his name that comes out of her. Hearing the truth. She couldn’t help but smile at that. “My near-death experience has transferred some of my intelligence into you. You talk big words now. It’s kinda scary, it doesn't suit you at all.”
He laughs at her words before burying himself to the crook of her neck. The vibration of his laughter brings one to her too. “Was it true? The things you said earlier.” She said once the laughter died down eventually, Steve pulled back once more to look at her. “I heard everything from the other side.”
The look Steve gave her was nothing like she had ever seen before. It was never seen by her, however, it was the same look on her face every time her eyes fell onto him, the same look that is on her face right now. “I love you. I think—I know I always do yet I have always convinced myself otherwise cause I’m afraid of the outcome. You said we are both fools for loving those who-who—what was that-that you said earlier again? Gosh, your words are hard to process into my little brain sometimes.” She smiled at him as he shook his head. “Does this make us even much more of a fool for not noticing that our feelings are directed to no one else but each other?”
A chuckle escaped her. “Well, you and Nancy happened.” She said, then Steve immediately holds up a finger in the air. “Nancy always knew even when I denied it, not out loud of course. But I guessed there were some real feelings and affection involved in that relationship that makes the ending hurts. I was younger and stupid.” He said.
“The last part seems to not have changed that much.” She commented, making him flick her forehead. “Ouch. Be careful with me. I’m fragile. I almost died.”
At the last word of her sentence, Steve’s shoulder sank once more, reminded of what almost happened to her earlier. He couldn’t resist the temptation to hold her close again, so he did. He wrapped his arms around her once more, not wanting to ever let go as his lips found the side of her face before finding her own. A sweet soft yet what felt so intimate gesture between the two of them. “You’re staying close to me from now on. No more near-death experiences. I won’t let you go before me.”
She let her head rest at the crook of his neck as her finger fiddled with the end of his hair. “No, you idiot. We’re a buy one get one package. If we go down, we do it together.” She could feel Steve’s smile onto her hair. As the two stayed there in silence for the next few moments, doing nothing but completely being enamored by each other's presence. Their line finally found a way to crossed one another, connecting them for eternity.
“Guess this makes us the fools in love.” He said.
She nodded quietly, the tiredness finally caught up to both of them. Her world is still far from fully being filled by the light. But as long as she no longer resides on the darker side of it. She doesn’t mind staying on whatever side is this. The side where only truth remains around her. The side where his heart beats at the mention of her name.
more a/n : i don’t think i mentioned it but they were not awkwardly standing hugging each other during those last scenes. they were sitting on the floor.
i have a feeling that i might write a part 4 or maybe 5 regarding steve’s death…..I DON’T LIKE THIS FEELING. I HAVE A DRAFT ALREADY, PREPARING HIS DEATH IF IT REALLY HAPPEN TOMORROW. i AM 97% sure he’ll be dead, 3% in denial
quick lazy edit of memories (well the couple atleast not the story) | just using han hyo-joo as the faceclaim for the edit not the story btw. check out her latest drama happiness it’s so good 😩
quick lazy edit of memories (well the couple atleast not the story) | just using han hyo-joo as the faceclaim for the edit not the story btw. check out her latest drama happiness it’s so good 😩
pairing : sparrow!ben hargreeves x fem!reader, past!umbrella!ben hargreeves x fem!reader
genre : angst, heartwarming, hurt-comfort
warning : prepare your tissue if you’re attached to umbrella!ben ig
summary : in which she found glimpse of them together through his eyes—the man that wore the face of the love of her life
wordcount : 3k
a/n : inspired by the song glimpse of us by joji. and i am aware that there are a lot of stories especially these days. If there are resemblance between this story with others then that is completely out of my control. great minds thinks alike after all. requested by @torchioethan i’ll try my best to interpreted the song to their relationship. the story is up to your interpretation by the way. on my remus lupin angst i wrote “some endings are meant to he interpreted differently.” also do you think this is ooc for sparrow!ben? cause this is what i think he’ll act like in this situation. also i put some addie larue reference in this iykyk
masterlist
Have you ever lost someone and then you just feel like you see that someone everywhere? Every place, every street, everyone, reminds you of the memories you hold dearly close to your heart no matter how hurt it is to remember for you refuse to ever forget about it. It hurts so much it does, but that’s the price you have to pay.
The first time she saw him again after going back from the 60s with the dysfunctional bunch of siblings, she thought she was dreaming. Perhaps, it’ll be easier if it were just a dream. Cause now she has to look at the face—at the body of someone who once had loved her and found nothing. A stranger with the face of the love of her life.
Same name. Same face. Different memories.
But does it all even matter now? The world is ending in hours. She could meet her Ben again, that only if he really does exist. She has never been the one to fully understand the concept of time and Five doesn’t speak in a language that she is capable of understanding.
She raised her glass of champagne in Luther’s direction as he danced with his newfound love before averting her gaze to take a look around the room. Diego and Lila being in each other's arms. Klaus being Klaus. Five who seem to be enjoying his time with the number of empty glasses on his table. And lastly, him. Sitting on the table far back from everybody else, drinking quietly as his eyes, too, roamed around the room. Even from a distance between the two, she could tell that he was judging all of them silently.
Slowly she rose and walked toward him with her glass wrapped around her fingers. Once she arrived at the spot, she gestured to the seat next to him. “May I?” Without hearing any response from him, she sat herself on the seat, putting her glass on the table. “The party is over there yet you distance yourself from the others, emo boy.”
He rolled his eyes at the nickname she gave him. “If anyone here is emo that would be your brother. All brooding, laying down alone in my room, wearing nothing but black.” He looked over at Viktor and she followed his line of gaze. “First, Viktor isn’t emo, and second, you just prove my point here.” She gestured to his situation right now. “You just described yourself.”
The look in his eyes was nothing like her Ben as he glared at her, glass tightly wrapped around his fingers. “Look, if you’re going here just to brag about your oh-so-perfect Ben. The others had took their chance every time they passed me so don’t even bother.” He leaned forwards to her—trying to somewhat looking intimidating as she looks at him, totally unfazed by it.
“No.” She leaned closer to him as he leaned back, clicking her glass with his. “That is a too sensitive topic for me to talk about. Actually, I was trying to give you some company.”
“Well, I don’t need your company.” He talked back.
She leaned her back on the seat. “Too bad. I’m already comfortable sitting here.”
“Then I’ll just go away from here.” He got up, looking at her irritatingly, clearly annoyed by her presence. Turning around he began to walked away from the girl that has been haunting his mind, but then she said something that made him stop. “You know you don’t want to, Ben. You wished to stay here. You want someone to tell you to stay. So here I am doing you a favor by saying this.”
Walking back towards her, he pointed his finger right in front of her face, a look of exasperation plastered on his face. “You stay out of my head. Don’t even try to use it on me.” He said. “You think you know me. You know nothing about me. Nothing. I don’t need your company and I most certainly don’t need your pity. I don’t need you.”
Her gaze softened at his words, his last words may hurt a part of her but it was nothing she hadn’t heard before. “I don’t need my powers to know what you’re thinking, Ben. Besides, it never works on you. Not on you. Not on any version of you, I suppose.” She looks back to her glass, avoiding his gaze before feeling him walking away from her.
***
Looking at Luther and Sloane, she offered them a large smile. “I’m happy for the both of you. Wish we could have more time to know each other, Sloane.” She said, eyes falling onto the girl that is wrapped around Luther’s arms before looking back at the sky that is torn apart every second that passed. “With the world ending, there’s nothing anyone wants more than spending time with their loved ones. I know I would do the same.” She could feel Luther’s eyes on her as she said that. “Cherish the time you have left together, okay?” That were the last words she uttered before she went back inside the building, leaving the newlywed to have their moments alone.
What she didn’t know was the fact that Ben was listening to her words as he finally succeed to get rid of Klaus’s presence. He was about to grab another drink when he heard her saying that. Spending time with their loved ones. What is left of his family are only Sloane and Reginald. One who is currently with the man of her life. The other one probably conspiring something against someone. Sloane, his sister, what left of his bunch of adoptive siblings, sure there’s a part of him that cares for her although he won’t admit it out loud. On the other side, Reginald doesn’t deserve any love from anyone in the building. An ounce of him may won’t stop trying to prove himself to the guy but he’s sure that there is no love that he holds for the old man.
Before the girl who just entered the building could fully walk passed him, he grabbed her wrist, stopping her in her tracks. She looked at him expectedly, a look of nostalgia flashed for a second. Perhaps it’s the alcohol talking, but the words come out of his mouth without permission at all. “Want a drink?”
She let her hand out of his grasp, raising one of her eyebrows. “Did Klaus really manage to talk some sense into you? Or is it the alcohol talking?” She paused before answering the real question. “The answer’s yes by the way. But not here. Let’s go somewhere else.”
***
“A windowsill?”
“A quite spacious one, yeah.” She put herself in a comfortable position before patting the space in front of her. “Come on. There’s still much room left here.” Rolling his eyes slightly, he sighed before sitting in front of her. Both of them facing each other, on the windowsill as the world out there is falling apart. Her gaze stayed on him as he sat there trying to search for a comfortable position. A nostalgic smile went onto her face. Happiness and sadness all become one as a glimpse of her Ben took over his position for some split second.
A memory from her past.
“Out of every place in this goddamn hotel, you-“ He began to complain.
“Hey, the world is falling apart. Be grateful for a few seconds.” She looked out the window. “Ben would’ve loved this.” She muttered loud enough for him to hear.
“I am Ben.”
“Well, not you. I mean Ben Ben.”
“The other Ben?”
“No. You’re the—Can you just drink it already and try to not be an asshole?” She almost forced the alcohol down his throat if it weren’t for him who already doing that as she spoke before. She looked at him before averting her attention to her glass, muttering under her breath. “Maybe this is a bad idea.”
“Not really. No.” His response caught her off guard as she wasn’t expecting him to even hear her. She pursed her lips, before taking a sip from her glass. “So you do need some company. Is this your attempt to not be alone at the end of the world? Was it because of the speech I gave earlier?” She put it down and then propped her chin on the top of her knee.
This time, he is the one that avoids her gaze, looking at the falling word around them from the window. “I thought you said it didn’t work on me.”
“Just because my powers don’t work on you. Doesn’t mean I’m an idiot who cannot connect the two dots together, emo boy.” She said.
He looks down for a few moments before looking back at her, an uncharacteristic look on his face. “Guess that—guess that makes me a special emo boy or what?” This time he didn’t complain about the nickname. Instead, he said the words that brings a smile to her face. She nodded slowly before leaning back to the window frame and with teary eyes she lets out a chuckle. “What?” He asked, raising one of his eyebrows.
“You’re making it difficult for me to not cry. You see, you’re not supposed to say that. Not with that face.” She paused, taking a deep breath trying to not let the tears out just yet. “Gosh, you don’t just look like him or sound like him. Now, you talked like him. I suppose my prayers are granted in a way. I see you again now. Breathing and alive. Just not—just not the you that I need. It hurts looking into your eyes when all I see is him and yet there is no trace of him in this falling world.”
“What was he like?” His gaze stayed on her, less tense than usual. “Truly. What was he like?” He asked once more.
“What did the others say?” She asked back.
Hesitantly, he answered her question. “He was……kind. Selfless. A tiny dark cloud on a perfect sunny day. A know-it-all. A scold. Most of them-Most of them are bad qualities.” He furrowed his eyebrows together and seems to be frustrated not being able to decipher why the other Ben was so special compared to him. “I’m the Number One. Numero Uno. He wasn’t, was he? All of those praises about him, look how he ended up 6 feet under.”
Brushing over his last comment, she nodded her head. “Well all of them are true. He was a great guy, wasn’t he? One of the best that I ever knew.” Her eyes trailed over the window. “I first met them all when I was around the age of 8 or 9. He was hiding behind Klaus or Number 4 at that moment. He was never been the one to love the public attention but somehow tried to gain mine. I suppose that makes him sweet. After his death, none of us have been the same. All of us were drowning in a sense, well we all have been drowning for a long time. But since that happened, none of us could ever reach the shore.” Her chest got heavy just from thinking of that feeling.
“Where are you now?” He inched closer towards her.
She pursed her lips before letting out a deep breath. “Just floating around, I guess? Not drowning but not completely free either.” She thought about her last interaction with Ben. “Perhaps this is it. With the world ending, I’m getting closer to my final destination.”
Looking back at him, she continued her words. “Ben. He was-He was easier to love out of everyone in that room earlier, out of all the people I’ve known in my whole life. And mind you remember this, I love all of them greatly—well not all of them,” She referred to Reginald. “We all have a fair share of memories together, mostly in our youthful days that are full of trauma created by your daddy dearest—even I had some of mine too and I’m not even a Hargreeves.” Both of them chuckled at her words.
“Very much relatable that last bit. Klaus said a similar thing earlier. About how he was easier to love.” Ben inched closer once more, perhaps this is the alcohol talking, but seeing him open up his feelings to her like this makes her pay no mind to the fact that by tomorrow he’ll probably change into hard-shell Ben again. “That doesn’t seem fair. All of you love him like that yet none can do the same for me.”
Biting back a snarky remark, she decided to say something else instead. “One thing about him is that he makes love seem to be a casual thing to feel, I mean it is, truthfully it is but not many people have the opportunity to realize that.” She wiped a single tear away. “There are a lot of things to pay for when it comes to love. To any kind of love. Meeting you is one of those. The price I have to pay for this moment is not a kind one.”
He nodded quietly before looking back directly into her eyes. “I’m not him, you know?”
She chuckled at his words. “Of course, you’re not. I’ve said that already. If yes then I won’t be just sitting in front of you right now.” I would hold you and never let go like you had wished once before your last moments. The last part remained in her mind. Glimpses of them together flowed around the two, yet she was the only one to remember. “It is a lonely thing, isn’t it? To remember when the other person doesn’t.”
“What if……the other person does?” Her head snapped back towards him as he said so. Letting out a shuddered breath, she opened her mouth to ask what he means by that but she wasn’t able to find her voice at all. Then he continued his words. “You know what sucks, you have all of these memories with your Ben and I-” He took a glance at the sky before looking back at her. “And the only recollection I have about you is the one I had in my dreams. The one that I forgot the moment that I woke up. The one I wished to remember because there’s this feeling that I can’t understand every time I am in that dream.”
“You said all you see when you look into my eyes are him. Yet when I see into yours all I see is you. No other version you. Just you you cause you’re the same one from my dreams. The dreams that left only glimpses in my memory. But then even in those dreams, you were with him, I suppose. That happy feeling was his feelings, it was never mine, to begin with. All this time I was dreaming of someone else’s memories.” Tears stream down her face as she takes in the look in his eyes, the same look he used to give her.
This Ben would never be her Ben. He was already gone from her world. Leaving nothing but the memories that remain in her heart. Nothing but the feeling that she would always feel till the moment she passed. Meeting this Ben had brought heavy feelings to her heart. Makes her yearn to see a glimpse of him in his eyes. And when she found what she was looking for, hurt was all she found. “I’m sorry, Ben.”
He smiled bitterly. “Out of everyone, I thought you hated me the most.” He said. Recalling her avoiding him at all cost during their first interactions when the Umbrella first comes back to the timeline. The look in her eyes when she first laid her gaze on him was one that he will not forget.
She looked at him with sadness in her eyes. “That is an ability that I am not capable of. I cannot afford that. I don’t think I could even if I tried. You’re too much like him. Any version of you they all-well, I’ve only met two of you but you’re much more alike than I thought you do. Your feelings. The way both of you feel, I found it beautiful.”
A comfortable silence engulfed both of them as the two leaned back to the window frame simultaneously. The world is still falling around them. Slowly fading away from reality. Most people are already gone, reuniting with their loved ones on the other side.
“You were right.” His voice makes her look back at him. He offered the palm of his hand to her, so she made up a scissor using her point and middle finger. “I won.” She said with a large smile on her face.
Ben rolled his eyes. “You’re so childish. I couldn’t see why he loved you so much.” He said, clearly lying.
She crossed her arms. “Oh, the alcohol finally worn out? I was enjoying the non-asshole you.”
“Oh shut up.” He hushed her.
“What was I right about?” She waited for his response.
He met her eyes once more. She could tell that he was hesitant about it. “With the world ending, there’s nothing anyone wants more than spending time with their loved ones. Any kind of love.” Her eyes stayed locked with him as she reached for his palm once more, a warm smile on her face.
