There’s this rp called willcoxrpg. I was apart of this RP for 3 years, about. Maybe a little more. I made some amazing friends there, but there came a time when it literally gave me anxiety to be on the dash.
Some shit was going on in the outside world, and I attempted suicide. I made a post on my rp account. Luckily, I am still alive. I was impulsive, and not thinking. I get it. I checked myself into a hospital, and then stayed there for 5 days, just to make sure my meds were all good (it was a medical imbalance). Some people on the rp caught my post before I deleted it, and so one of my great friends in the rp kept them updated.
I came back, and my anxiety from the rp was still there. I talked to an admin about dropping 2 of my 3 charas, and then keeping one, Elliot. Elliot had basically been a part of the rp for over a year, with a 2 month break. He’s my baby, completely and utterly my baby. He’s had a rough life, but it’s nothing like my own.
I asked for him to be retired; they denied. Heartbroken, I said I’d stay— with just him. But I couldn’t do it, so I asked to leave.
Another chara’s fc got retired about a week to two weeks (if I remember correctly) after mine. I couldn’t believe it. The character had also been in the rp for about a year, if not a little more. They were different than my character, completely so. I don’t know what happened in that case, but I was mad. Someone sent this anon question (no, it wasn’t me. I can show you my outbox, it wasn’t me).
They basically said my character wasn’t important. Over text with an admin, they said that my character didn’t have enough connection to warrant to retire his faceclaim. Which is probably one of the most upsetting things I’ve ever heard. They said he had “awkward” encounters, and like 3 close people. He had more than 3 people on his side. I can list them if you’d like, but I don’t want to drag any names into it.
And then, they singled me out with my face claims in this post.
I played both a Harry Styles and a Dylan O’Brien, but only asked for Dylan to be retired. After a month or so, I sent a message asking if I could return.
First off, the admin compared my mental illness to hers, which is uncool, dude. I have bipolar and anxiety, and I’m sorry you’re suffering too. But don’t compare mine to yours; this isn’t a battle of who has it worse. Also, there shouldn’t have to be a line for friendship in an rp; I have met amazing, superb people in that rp. I have been in role-plays where admins cared deeply about all their players, and have listened to what the rp needed, and what the players needed too.
Secondly, despite what they said, they didn’t do what they said they were going to do. They said that the member could return—publicly— but basically told me that I couldn’t. They singled out my characters fcs. They told me that I deserved a second chance, but only with a “happy” and “exciting” character.
As if my characters couldn’t be that. I explained what I wanted with Elliot— for him to have gone to a residential treatment center, and for him to be able to cope with his anxieties. He had been molested and sexually abused by his babysitter for 5 years; it was a plot that needed to be done. They still denied.
After saying I could come back.
Now, a character who’s fc had been retired, and the character bio and all that, had a “special acceptance”.
I never got the chance to even be accepted as a character I had played for over a year, and rebooted once. I still haven’t played him again. I have wanted to, but this rp was where he thrived and lived. I don’t want to have him in another place; this rp was his home.
It sucks basically hearing as a player you aren’t important enough to have a fc retired, or to come back. It showed me that I wasn’t valued enough as a player. It showed that my character wasn’t important enough to the rp.
I’m sorry for this rant, but this is something I needed to get off my chest. The end.
prguitarman
kianamaiart
tangentwithtanner
