Do you think Melinda's ever seen Phil cry?
Didn’t you know that all agents have their tear ducts sealed when they hit level 6?
Or wait, no he doesn’t cry because he’s a robot - Fury hired Stark to build him.
No, that’s the wrong rumour, this is the one earth in the multi-verse where he’s stoic, on others he’s a blubbering fool.
Oh, sorry, it’s because he swore when he was a Ranger that he would only when his team won their big sportsball event and that one time a bald eagle landed on his arm and bowed its head respectfully.
No, it is that, Phillip J. Coulson doesn’t cry when he’s hurt. Physical pain gets a grimace at most, usually a quip. Everyone knows that.
Well whichever it is, Melinda has certainly never seen him cry.
She absolutely hasn’t seen him after 36 hours awake on an op when it all went wrong, try to hide the tears from the rest of the team. She hasn’t stood so that the others can’t see.
Melinda certainly hasn’t seen him cry in terror when there was no word from Hawkeye or the Black Widow for a week. She didn’t leave after that one glimpse of him to find them and bring them home broken but alive a few days later.
She for sure has never seen him cry in his sleep when he didn’t even know it. And she certainly did not smooth those tears away so there would be no sign of them when he woke up.
Melinda definitely hasn’t seen him cry as they stand together in a shower, both of them covered in blood, both of them trying to wipe away the horror. It was the spray of water not tears. That’s all.
Agent Melinda May can tell you with an utterly straight face she has never seen Agent Phillip J. Coulson cry. Haven’t you heard the rumours anyways?
And if Melinda has seen her friend Phil cry?
Well that is no one’s business but theirs.
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