“Like most people, I’ve made many and plenty mistakes in my life. I have many faults and I have many more fears, but I am going to embrace myself as hard as I can, and I’m starting to love myself gradually, just little by little. What is your name? Speak yourself.”
Ten moments that represent your relationship with Yoongi, based off of One Hundred Ways to Say I Love You x
Pairing: Min Yoongi x Reader
Warnings: ridiculous amounts of fluff and pining, friends to lovers, perspective changes, drunk BTS in 1., a mention and portrayal of anxiety (it’s briefly mentioned in 2. and detailed in 7. please stay safe)
Word count: 2,122
1.
Going out with the Bangtan Boys was always a mission. You had immense amounts of fun and they were considered some of your closest friends, but there was always that one point in the night where Jimin would get a tad too giggly and Joon would say something a little too questionable, and you would have to call it a night.
This was one of those times, as a tipsy Jin, Yoongi, and Hoseok lead a sober you back to your car after a karaoke night that had gotten a slight competitive and had ended up with Jungkook and Jimin doing push-ups to settle a winner.
They were arguing about it now, Jin pulling out his fist to settle it rock, paper, scissors, style and none of them barely noticed you get into your car and wind down your window.
“The rules of rock, paper, scissors are clear, Jin! It’s best two out of three!” Hoseok yells out into the night.
“You cheated!”
“You can’t cheat in rock, paper, scissors!”
“That’s exactly what a cheater would say!”
You honk your horn to get their attention.
“Night, guys. I’ll see you tomorrow?” You ask.
They all nod and chorus a goodbye. Hoseok leans over to give you an awkward hug through the car window. You smile back and out in your keys.
Yoongi’s eyes are trained on you as you buckle your seat belt.
“Drive safely,” He calls out to you as you pull out of your space.
You wave back and smile.
2.
He was sweating.
Anxiety wasn’t something new to him, he had come to know how to deal with it after many years. But this was different. This was new. This was exciting.
This was almost a date.
He says almost because he never explicitly asked you out, and he knows very well that you probably think he sees you as just a friend. But you’re both sitting in a cafe, alone, without the boys, just the two of you.
So Yoongi has decided to call it an almost date.
You’re laughing so hard too, your eyes glinting in the soft lights, and Yoongi’s heart feels like it’s going to pop out of his chest. Were you always this beautiful? Probably. He doesn’t want this to end.
But of course, it does. You both have lives and jobs and other people to talk to. He takes a moment to be selfish though, a moment of bravery combined with high adrenaline, and he asks if you want to go to this new record store he found, on Saturday, just the two of you. You say yes. He smiles so hard his cheeks hurt.
The grin falls when you pull out your wallet, though. “No.” He says. “No, it’s my treat.”
You protest, as expected, but he’s quick to swipe his card before you can actually pay.
“Fine. But next time is on me.” You exclaim, full of certainty.
Yeah, he thinks, like I’m letting that happen.
3.
The call wakes you up.
You grumble repeatedly, tossing up between turning over and ignoring it or answering the person with several threats.
His name flashes on the screen and all the anger disappears from your body.
“Yoongi?” You answer.
“Did I wake you?” He replies. “I’m sorry.”
You look at the clock and see it’s two in the morning. You have to get up early too, but the way his voice cracks in the middle of his question makes your words easy to say.
“It’s okay. I couldn’t sleep anyway.”
He’s quiet.
“Talk to me.”
He does.
4.
“You’re warm.”
His hand hovers over your forehead, and you have to agree, you do feel hot. Though you suspect most of it is from being in such close proximity to your longtime crush.
“I’m fine.” You whisper.
He tuts before pulling out his phone from his pocket.
“What are you doing?”
“Telling Hobi I can’t make practice.”
You sit up quickly, making your head spin but you push it away. “I told you I was fine!”
“And I call bullshit!” He replies, looking you straight in the eye. “There. It’s done. Now you’re stuck with me.”
You look at him in annoyance only to spot an acne scar on his forehead you’ve never seen before. Your hand reaches out to touch it gently.
He pushes your hand away. “Now are you gonna be good and let me take care of you?”
Cheeks flushed and arms crossed, you pout. “Depends.” You reply. “Are you gonna make me tea?”
“All the tea in the world, your grace.”
“Then I guess I’ll behave.”
He grins, gums and all, and pats your head. “Get some rest. I’ll be back with your tea in a second.”
You watch him leave the room. You immediately miss him.
5.
Your best friend is gonna be so proud of you. You could hear their voice right now, all giggly and gushy. Even you were hyped.
You were on a date.
Not just any date, a date with Min Yoongi.
You weren’t fully convinced this was real life.
It had been a good night so far. You had hung out at his studio and listened to him rant about pitches and notes and beats. He was under the pretense of “teaching” you but you had gotten lost. Mostly because when he talked about music, he talked really fast, and also partly because he had a new perfume on and he smelled like vanilla and lavender.
Not that you would ever admit that to anyone.
After that, you went out to eat and instead ended up walking for two hours, too caught up in talking to notice you had long since passed the restaurant and ended up getting horribly lost.
Now you were back in the comfort of your home, arguing about how long to cook popcorn and scrolling through movies to watch.
It was definitely up there as one of your favorite nights ever.
“No horror movies.” He immediately states, reaching over to pull your legs onto his lap.
You pause on a classic, Star Wars, feeling in that kind of mood, only to see him grimace in the corner of your eye. You start to scroll again.
“What do you wanna watch?” You ask.
He looks at you, long and hard, and you wonder if he heard you properly. He opens his mouth before you can ask again though.
“Star Wars?”
Your surprise and excitement is not easy to hide. “Really?!”
He smiles. “Yeah.”
He falls asleep twenty minutes in but he does so with his fingers laced in yours, so you don’t mind.
6.
He has a hard time believing you’re real.
He’s always been a cautious person, always on his guard. Not trusting people is one of his flaws and he didn’t really care enough to put any effort into changing that. Then you came along, all kindness and beauty and hope, and he couldn’t help become immediately accepting of you.
Yeah. Sometimes he didn’t quite think you were real, that you were his.
Times like now, when you walk into his studio without him asking you, coffee and food in hand. You wanted to see him, you said. You liked to make sure he was healthy, you said. It’s no big deal, you said.
“It’s two sugars, right?” You say.
He kisses you before he fully realizes what he is doing.
Your lips are stupidly soft, he thinks, and you taste better than he had ever dreamed of. He can feel your breath against his cheek and you hair beneath his fingers and wow he thinks you are quite possibly the greatest thing in the universe.
You pull away and he winces.
“Sorry.” He feels the need to make sure you’re okay, to backtrack because you didn’t give him the clearest green light and he might have just messed up everything. “I just…”
There’s a pause and he’s a little startled by it.
“I just really like you.”
Your smile is small but your eyes are bright. “I really like you too, Yoongi.”
He kisses you again, just because he can.
7.
There’s something so strange about silence, how it’s never truly there. There’s always something, a car driving past, birds in the trees, water dripping onto the pavement, your heart beating…
Right now it’s only your breaths and Yoongi’s sobs.
You know anxiety well, well enough to understand it looks different on every person, which always makes it so hard to comfort someone because your methods are different to theirs and the last thing you want to do is make it worse.
So the both of you just sit there. Not touching but close enough that as soon as you get the signal you’re going to smother him in cuddles and kisses until he gives you one of his gummy smiles.
You love his smile so much.
You love him, even when he’s scared to feel the same.
“I’ll still be here when you’re ready.” Your voice is quiet but his back still tenses in surprise, in trepidation. “And if you’re never ready, that’s okay too. I’m gonna stay until you ask me to leave.”
A tear rolls down his cheek and lands on his hand.
“I don’t want you to leave.” He states.
“Then I won’t.”
He gives you the signal and you spend the rest of the night wrapped in his warmth.
8.
He loves his job. He truly, honestly does. Loves it so much, he could never even picture himself doing anything else.
There are parts of it he hates, though.
Like now, when the guilt and pain sits heavily in his chest because your face on his phone screen just isn’t enough and he misses you so so so much.
He can tell your only laughing like this to make him feel better, but it only serves to make him worse.
He cuts you off without fully realizing. “I miss you.”
You sigh, slightly agitated, more saddened. “I miss you too.”
“Come visit me. You’ll love this city.”
“I can’t, Yoon. It’s too much money.”
“There’s a botanical garden, and an old record shop, and one of those escape rooms we can do together…”
“That sounds lovely, Yoongi, and I really want to see you. I’m sorry.”
“I’ll buy you a ticket.”
You freeze, and Yoongi almost thinks the call cut off.
Then you move and you’re yelling. “Yoongi! No! You can't do that! It’s too much money and I won’t be able to pay you back and -”
“Too late. I texted my manager. He’s organizing it right now.”
“Yoongi!”
“I miss you.”
You smile again. For the first time since he left, he does too.
“Thank you.” You whisper.
Deep down he knows he would buy you an entire plane if he felt it necessary.
9.
The jacket is leather and black and it fits him perfectly. He’s a little confused, to be honest, doesn’t know why or how it was sitting on his bed, neatly folded with a note saying “I was thinking of you.”
Namjoon has a habit of buying ill-fitting clothes and donating them to Yoongi, but the leader doesn’t like leather so it couldn’t be him.
Jimin is a generous sweetheart but his notes are always signed with his name and a heart, ensuring that he would get full credit and praise, and this note had no such signature.
The jacket doesn’t feel expensive, nice and comfortable and sturdy, sure, but not high-end-tear-jerking-wallet-breaking expensive. So that rules out both Taehyung and Hoseok.
And then Yoongi’s mind drifts to you.
Sweet, beautiful, kind you. Who gives more than you receive, who kisses him on the cheek everytime he walks through your door, who makes his heart feel like it’s going to launch out his chest like a high-speed rocket. You.
He texts you with a message that reads: “is leather in style now?”
You reply with a simple wink emoji.
If anyone says he squealed, he will kill them.
10.
It’s midnight and you’re so exhausted. You had finally wrangled your boyfriend into bed. Tearing him away from his computer was a hard task, near impossible, but you managed it. You always did when his health was concerned.
He feels warm against your body and you can hear his heartbeat when you press your head harder into his chest. His arms are wrapped tightly around your waist, his breathing is ticking your neck, and everything just feels overwhelmingly right.
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