Adventures in Spinsterdom

A blog about being single in your twenties, feminism, racism (the isms), radical self-help and self-care, writing, and the struggle to build the lives we truly want

[hautedeath]

Chimamamda Ngozi Adiche, We Should All Be Feminists

[amandamccc]

The most powerful thing anyone has ever said to me: “You deserve to take up space.” 

[spinsterhero-blog]

It would be a classical feminine death, like a marriage.

Chris Kraus, Summer of Hate

[spinsterhero-blog]

Safe on the interstate New York is three thousand miles away And I'm not looking forward to following through But it's better than always running back into you I've closed my eyes and my bank account And gone west, young man Take off the parking brake Go coasting into a different state And I'm not looking forward to missing you But I must have something better to do I've got to tear my life apart And go west, young man And it feels like I've got something to prove But in some ways it's just something to do My friends turn me around and say "You go west, young man"

Liz Phair

[c0ntemplations]

So what? You failed your finals. You gained some weight. So what? You’re single again. You lost your job. So what? What now? You live. You try again. That’s what.

(via dowhatyoulike)

[spinsterhero-blog]

twenties

http://www.buzzfeed.com/jennaguillaume/things-all-twentysomething-women-are-tired-of-hearing?utm_term=4ldqpfd&bffb#1pc6c9g

[brutereason]

Look, you’re a feminist who, in this particular case, made the non-feminist choice. That’s all. I assume it was the right choice for you, or you wouldn’t have done it, and that’s fine! But feminism is not, in fact, all about choosing your choice. It is mostly about recognizing when things are fucked up for women at the societal level, and talking about that, and trying to change it. So sometimes, even when a decision is right for you, you still need to recognize that you made that decision within a social context that overwhelmingly supports your choice, and punishes women who make a different one.

Why I Lose My Mind Every Time We Have the Name Conversation | Kate Harding (via brute-reason)

[findingmyrecovery]

[spinsterhero-blog]

When she had been married a little while, she concluded that love was half a longing of a kind that possession did nothing to mitigate.

Marilynne Robinson, Housekeeping

[spinsterhero-blog]

What difference does it make, what I choose? Either way I lose.

Nina Simone

[spinsterhero-blog]

The desire for love is universal but that has never meant it's worthy of respect. It's not admirable to want love, it just is.

Rachel Kushner, The Flamethrowers

[spinsterhero-blog]

I am literally the most sensitive person I've ever known. I'm like a flower that wilts when you look at it wrong. I cry often, I am a very emotional human being.

Meredith Graves http://stylelikeu.com/themes-2/body-image/meredith-graves/#!bmsCyG

[spinsterhero-blog]

I think therefore I'm single.

Excellent t-shirt quote spotted today.

[spinsterhero-blog]

I know something about loving people that aren't smart enough to love you back. I learned a secret that I can tell you. They don't deserve it.

Suzanne, OITNB

[spinsterhero-blog]

On Not Caring, Lately.

Romantic love is irreplaceable, a yearning-for that cannot be silenced. The world drops noxious signals around me, teasing me with what I do not have, and the pain of worse than not-having. In the wake of such taunting, my world re-orders itself. My writing, myself, my gaze turned inward- all the things I refuse to give up for less-than, mounting. Yesterday, a friend said I am someone real love seeks. Nothing less can placate me. I believe her, but perhaps more essentially, I no longer care quite so much what the world out there has to say; only the truths of the world inside of me, unpopular as it is.

[spinsterhero-blog]

No such thing as out of your league!!! But also: fuck beautiful people.

Wise texts from a friend.

[spinsterhero-blog]

On Idealism and Non-Profit Disillusionment

"The end of idealism is sad. It requires lowering expectations and reluctant acceptance of disappointment.  I’d hoped to make change with pie graphs and subheadings and thoughtful analysis. I’d believed society had an interest in improving itself.

When I decided to quit, friends told me that the end of idealism is the beginning of awareness, that awareness is power, even when it shuts you down."

*This last quote quite aptly applies to my dating life as well.

Check out the article here: http://www.guernicamag.com/daily/anya-groner-the-heart-you-save-wont-be-your-own/

[spinsterhero-blog]

Gems from Patricia Nolan's Short Story Collection "Broken Windows"

1. If I could, I would tell her. I would tell her there is a God that doesn't have it in for her, that she serves some purpose in this life beyond her suffering. But how to make someone see what their heart is against?

2. You couldn't live with men, but then you had to face the fact that you couldn't live without them either. "It's no picnic being alone, Corinne, you know that."

3. Annette is thinking of becoming a lesbian; Corinne is quite sure she'll remain celibate. Annette believes in reincarnation; Corinne would like to, but thinks it's against her religion. Annette believes in living with a person a long, long, time before you marry them. Corinne tells Annette about her recurring dream of the apocalypse. Annette places her hands in prayer and claims that opposites attract.

4. "Good. Because you haven't lived until you've almost died. You'll see. You're not attracted to the meaning of my pain as much as you are to the sensation."