pragmarageā:
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā ā Well of course not. I donāt treat war as something romantic or like itās out of some fairy tale. ā So he picked up on his under the breath commentāwell, he couldnāt expect any less from his āformerā right hand man. Hijikata could always trust in Saitoās sharp ears to pick up on everything. That is why he was his go-to to weed out spies. Yet, the awkwardness in the air. The heaviness. Standing right before him, Hijikata recalled their parting at Aizu: the domain was bound to fall with how the battle was progressing and they knew it. It was either stay and die or be taken as prisoners or head North to regroup for a counterattack. Hijikata, going by his logic and duty, had to opt for retreat. While the Shinsengumi owed the Aizu so much, Hijikata had his responsibilities and refusal to let his emotions dictate, risking to cost so many more lives.
THAT was what his thought process was. He let Saito stay and repay his own debt to the Aizu clan, with everything else he didnāt dare bother dragging the man against his will or demand his life for disobeying. They were fighting a war within drastically changing timesāno more of that traditional honor when it came to war, no more mistakes or letting emotions run high. And it seemed, to Hijikata, emotions still lingered in the other man. Hijikata folded his arms, stoic faced as he turned to look at Saito more directly in the eyes: ā War always means something. It meant something to the Bakufu, it meant something to the SatchÅ Alliance.Ā It means that there is something to gain and to lose. ā
āMaybe those wars meant something. But after...ā
Saito had witnessed the changing of the times just as his comrades-in-arms had. Hell, he had joined the side bringing it in rather than fight an impossible battle like those fools at Shiroyama. To watch as the samurai and their legacy were stamped outĀ to live on in only history documents.
āI donāt blame you. Not anymore, at least. I had plenty of time to...reflect on those days. All the what-ifs drove me into a bottle more times than I care to admit. I may not have always liked you, Vice-Captain, but I never stopped respecting you.ā
Saito always thought it would be easy to see someone like the Vice-Captain again. But just like with seeing Sannan again, his expectations were entirely shattered.






