SPIT TAKES

Or “Shit my wife says”

[spit-takes-by-h]

Autospell Auto-incorrect

[spit-takes-by-h]

“Check and see if the whatyamacallit is whatyamacalliting.”

I forget the context because I was laughing so hard.

[spit-takes-by-h]

Trump holding up his signed Presidential Decrees looks like he’s holding up a menu from the Mar a Lago restaurant. #Drumpf #theimmigrant #incurious #dangerosuorangutang

[spit-takes-by-h]

“What did you say today that was really funny?”

“Ohh. . . Hmm … I don’t know. I’m going to have to start making notes. You said something today that was funny.”

[spit-takes-by-h]

Thoughts on an Oprah’s Book Club novel about a family cursed with “a condition” that claims a member each generation by drowning. “Learn to swim.”

[spit-takes-by-h]

Note to self: In the style of the great Bill Blaze, have a voice recorder at the ready at all times. “Feed mayonnaise to Tuna!”

[spit-takes-by-h]

To the abusive hockey coach about his hazing experiences: “So, were you riding the broom or driving it?”