things will shortly get completely out of hand

milly. 30s. she/her.

[splingefix]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

i wrote another thing it's becoming a problem

[mlarayoukai-archive]

You show a cat something and they're like sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff ooooh I understand now. Don't care

[sisterdullet]

smthn kind of romantic abt owning the copyright to you and your partners names together... okay mr commitment issues

[kaaaaaaarf]

is there anything worse than accidentally putting on the non-explicit version of an album? where is my beloved wife fuck and my beautiful daughter cunt?

[venndaai]

have you guys heard about the greenland shark. some crazy shit happening there.

[venndaai]

they are sexually mature at ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY YEARS OLD.

their (live!) young gestate for. wait for it. eight to eighteen (??) YEARS. can have up to 10 at a time. good grief.

longest lifespan of any vertebrate, up to five hundred years

toxic flesh

has giant eyes but is usually blind because of a weird little crustacean that's evolved to live on and eat their eyes. this doesn't seem to bother them much.

lives in deep cold water and has the lowest swim speed and tail-beat frequency for its size across all fish species. just generally lives life in extreme slow motion

largest genome of any shark

eats everything including moose and polar bears

ma'am you are delightfully strange and I'm privileged to share a planet with you

[fluorescentbrains]

this post prompted me to refresh my memory on Greenland Shark Facts and this detail about how they feed goes so hard

just vacuuming up their unsuspecting prey. whole !

[muffinlance]

Good news good news good news! Recent research suggests the eye parasites do NOT blind them!

Eye-opening research: Greenland sharks maintain vision for centuries through DNA repair mechanism

Dorota Skowronska-Krawczyk sits in her office, eyes fixed on the computer monitor in front of her. "You see it move its eye," says the UC Ir

I <3 you a normal amount Greenland sharks

[newyorkcitywater]

why is the human body composed of such capricious tubes

[flamingbluepanda]

I cant believe BWAGFEO is a thing that existed. The phannies had a goncharov and then like five months later dan and phil were like. Hey here's a full length movie. I need all the details. What did we think was going to.happen.

[tockthewatchdog]

[0nlyhere4phil]

[mevil]

[warheads-r-us-deactivated202301]

Yes, that’s a gun in my pants. No, I’m not happy to see you.

[spudnuto]

[asteriavinifera]

Do you wanna go watch the sunlight pierce the leaves of the forest with me?

[firebuggg]

spotted in nyc

[diphowell]

sowing oats and releasing seed are ONLY TO DO WITH CUMMING

[cleo-fox]

Writing tips:

“You feel the bulge in his pants” - implies that you are feeling some guy’s penis, may be sexy depending on context

“You feel the bugle in his pants” - implies that this guy has a military horn in his pants, invites confusing questions like why does he have that and how big are his pockets

[maple-seed]

Both options convey that he's horny

[cleo-fox]

How dare you be funnier than me on my own post

[splingefix]

sometimes people assume that working with nonspeaking children must be quiet. i would like to invite anyone who thinks that to spend five minutes in my extremely loud classroom of nonspeaking and minimally speaking children.