There was something so inherently intrusive, about sharing someone's experiences.
Zoe felt completely out of her depth, running around alternating between her and Mio's stories. She tried to make the best of it, of course - joking when they had time to slow down and reminding herself that she wouldn't die whenever the simulator threw something fatal their way. Yet she could tell Mio felt exactly the same way - like she was intruding on something private, and that her presence wasn't appreciated.
Maybe it was true at the beginning. But as they ran through story after story - cyber ninjas, sand sharks, pigs, shapeshifters and exploding suns - Zoe found herself appreciating Mio's presence more and more. Where Zoe herself could get lost in her own misery, unable to process what was happening in front of her, Mio incessantly pushed ahead, heedless of embarrassment or self pity. Her blunt words and occasionally tactless comments, despite being aggravating, brought Zoe out of her head every time she started working up into a panic.
And, admittedly, it was nice to see her opening up a bit. After their argument before fighting the Ice King, Mio had definitely made more of an effort to engage with Zoe, even making a couple of jokes and biting back some of her comments. It was nice to see her playing around with potions at the magic market, screaming with glee as she rode a dragon, or playing with the anti-gravity in one of her side stories. She always seemed younger, in those moments - the usual frown on her face as absent as the wrinkle in her brow.
As they went on, it truly felt less like a chore to go through the stories. Rather it felt like an opportunity, as they grew closer and learned more about each other. Sure, Zoe wished she'd been more understanding in the beginning when Mio confessed about her father, but she couldn't have known. Looking at the large squid-like creature in the tank, she'd felt a similar aching in her heart to the one she'd felt for Ella many years ago.
Sure, she'd only known Mio for a couple of hours, and the girl could be abrasive at the best of times, but they'd grown close. Their shared experiences meant that they would likely be a large part of each others lives going forward - or at least, Zoe wanted to be. And that bond that was forming, based on shared trauma and genuine friendship, meant that Zoe's heart went out to Mio.
Besides, when Ella had died it had been horrible. Zoe couldn't imagine that process being extended for years, her death being almost certain but the faintest sliver of hope being present until the end. She half thought that would break her, and couldn't help but admire Mio for getting up every single time it must have knocked her down.
She wanted to tell her that, was trying to find the words, but then they were escaping and flying through the glitch once again, and she never found time. But she could reciprocate Mio's trust - her vulnerability - and so when she found the words she told her about Ella. Mio listened, offered her words she'd wanted to hear for many years now, and even offered her the chance to stay in the story as long as she needed. Zoe looked around, at the fantastical flora and fauna, the faint silhouettes of their dragons flying into the distance, and shook her head.
So back into the glitch they went, and Rader did his Rader-y thing and made everything 1000 times worse, and they were launched straight into Mio's subconscious.
If Zoe felt she was intruding on Mio's stories, she felt even worse now. Not to mention that Mio was clearly uncomfortable not knowing what was coming next. She seemed entirely out of her depth, her eyebrows furrowed and she constantly chewed on her bottom lip, looking to Zoe like she knew what was happening.
She didn't, but Mio couldn't seem to help herself. So, in what felt like a strange mockery of their usual dynamic, Zoe pushed ahead, letting Mio trail behind her like a duckling. She was entirely out of her depth - Mio usually being the one to lead their charge while Zoe held back, looking at views and touching flowers - but when she was needed she could certainly rise to the occasion.
Releasing dark Mio though...
Well, the panic that tore through Zoe's chest as the younger woman was grabbed by the throat was enough to tell you how she felt about that. And - in what was probably not the smartest move, she had to admit - she launched herself at the mech, latching onto her leg and holding on for dear life. Her landing wasn't the most comfortable thing in the world, but it had to beat Mio getting tossed to the ground like a sack of potatoes, Zoe running to her as she wheezed weakly.
It was their toughest battle yet. Zoe physically repelled dark Mio's own attacks back at her, Mio herself barely making a dent until she managed to leap inside the mech's head, wreaking havoc from the inside. But she still lagged behind, and Zoe had to make up the shortfall - effectively protecting her from a messed up version of herself that Mio claimed had once helped her through endless nights.
She could understand how this dark, angry version had come to be. Fighting a healthcare system that cared little for her or her father, trying to work towards your own passion and fighting those who tell you to stop, while simultaneously struggling to keep food on the table and a roof over your head... Mio had to be angry, otherwise she'd just fall apart. But forcing dark Mio's blade into her own stomach... it didn't feel good. Knowing she was effectively killing a part of Mio - no matter how evil - felt horrible.
And for a horrifying moment, she thought she'd killed Mio. Before the dust faded away, before she turned the right direction, she'd had the sinking feeling she'd killed Mio just like she'd killed Ella-
But there she was. Collapsed, sure. Crying, sure. But miraculously, wonderfully alive, and Zoe couldn't help but run to her. And then Mio practically flung herself into her arms, shaking and sniffling and clinging far too tightly, but all Zoe could focus on was her heartbeat, her breathing, her movement - all undeniable signs that she was, in fact, alive.
"Take your time." She'd told her, holding her back just as tight.
When Mio eventually pulled away, wiping at her cheeks and refusing to make direct eye contact, she just smiled, reaching forward to push some of her hair behind her ear. And maybe they hugged again, whispered confessions they'd never let the world know (even if they wrote about it themselves - an idea which was tentatively forming in Zoe's head but was entirely contingent on their escaping of the machine) and held onto each other just a little too long, a little too tightly. But that was only for them to know.
And sure, maybe they would end up in Zoe's subconscious too. Maybe she'd have to face her own worst emotions given physical form, and have her own breakdown.
But she couldn't think of anyone else she'd prefer to face it with.
my headcanons for the names of the other writers that went into the simulation. I think Dominic writes, romance, Vanessa historical fiction, Blaine western adventure or something, and Maggie horror/thriller.
turnnoffyourmind
snowghoul
kianamaiart
pixelskylines
germansingergirl
yousharknotpass
jacobvanloon
izzy806
gummygunk
