I'm my own villain.

Mid 20s is so mid | Lost in the Sauce

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goomba

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[spookiexe]

Triangle

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Lil in-game screenshot dump :)

[spookiexe]

The Helix Project

Chapter II - The Devil's Bargain

Keegan slowly walked through the halls of base, his boots falling in steady rhythm against the cold, polished floor. He was there physically, a constant presence among the soldiers who served by his side, but his mind was far away. It was with Vivian. Last night, she cried in his arms until she fell into a restless sleep. She didn't need to tell him why, he already knew. The IVF failed, again. 

Her eyes gave it away like they always did. He could see the way her shoulders slumped, the hollow, defeated look she carried since the doctor had confirmed her worst fear. That look haunted him all the same. Vivian had always been strong, but these failures were chipping away at the woman he had married and Keegan was powerless to stop it. He couldn't ignore the gnawing in his gut; she might never recover to her former self until she held their child safely tucked within her arms, the thought twisted like a knife in his gut.

Lost in the endless depths of his mind, he barely noticed his feet had brought him to the briefing room as if he was running on autopilot. The air was heavy as he stepped inside, nodding silently to Hesh before taking a seat beside him at the briefing table. 

Hesh also carried his own burdens. It had been months since Logan was taken, but the weight of that moment hadn't left the soldier and it was obvious. It was written over his face, the anger, guilt, the raw helplessness. 

"Alright, new mission details." Merrick's voice cut through Keegan's thoughts, pulling him back to real life. The screen at the front of the room displayed grainy photos of a port crowded with cargo ships. The blurry figures of Federation soldiers were pictures on the deck of one of the vessels. 

Beside Keegan, Hesh visibly tensed, his hands curling into fists. 

"One of our moles reports the Federation is using their naval fleet for something covert," Merrick explained. "We're not sure if they're paying off or hijacking cargo ships, but whatever it is, it's bad news." His gaze swept over the room, lingering on Hesh before he continued. 

"Keegan, you and Kick will be sent on this one. Intel only - photos, videos, intercepted communications. You boys will be on your own over there, don't blow your cover as we may not be able to get there in time to help you." 

Keegan nodded sharply, a familiar determination settling in his chest. If the Federation was planning to break the ceasefire, they had to find out before it was too late. Though, even as Merrick continued the briefing, Keegan's mind wandered to Vivian. If the Federation's plans escalated to war, her safety and every other civilian would be in danger. 

When the meeting came to a close, Keegan lingered to finish talking logistics with Merrick and Kick before making his way out. His mind turned to Vivian again as he walked. How would he tell her about this mission, especially when her emotions were still raw. The thought of another argument made dread spread through his chest and her eyebrows knit together in thought. 

"Keegan?" A voice called out faintly, barely registering in his preoccupied mind. 

"Keeg- Jesus Christ! KEEGAN!" 

Keegan stopped, turning to find Dr. Layton pushing through the throngs of busy soldiers. The man's lab coat flapped awkwardly as he hurried over, greasy blonde hair catching the harsh fluorescent lights above. 

"What do you want?" Keegan's voice was flat, cold. Crossing his arms over his chest as he fixed the smaller man with a hard, fierce stare. 

Layton hesitated but pressed on, his face flushing under Keegan's glare. "I have an offer for you-"

"No." The word left Keegan's mouth like a gunshot cracking through the air, it was final. He turned to leave, but Layton's next words made his body come to an abrupt stop.

"It's for your wife, Sergeant Russ." 

Keegan’s body stiffened, his jaw tightening as he turned slowly back to face the doctor. "What about her?" His voice was low, dangerous. 

"Please, let's talk. In private."

Reluctantly, Keegan followed Layton into an empty room. The stale air inside only served to worsen the knot forming in the pit of his stomach. "You better have a damn good reason to bring up my wife." Keegan rumbled, stepping into Layton's space with his eyes narrowed. 

"We know of her struggles," Layton stammered, taking a step back. "Her struggles with... with having a child." 

The words hit Keegan like a punch to the gut, rage coiling inside of him within an instant. He wasn't thinking as his hand reached out, gloved fingers coiling around Layton's collar and slamming him backwards against the door. It rattled from the force as if the hinges threatened to give out from the sudden impact. 

"How dare you?" Keegan seethed. 

Layton gasped, clearly shocked by the outburst as his green eyes widened, meeting with Keegan's furious blue glare. "We can help her," He choked out. "We can give her what she wants. A baby. Your family." 

Keegan's grip tightened as conflicting emotions writhed through his body. "We're not going to be your lab rats," he spat. "My family isn't some experiment for you twisted fucks." 

Layton's voice wavered but he pressed on, "This isn't about the Helix Project. Its about giving you both a chance at a normal life. No experiments. No enhancements. Just a child, yours. Nothing more." 

Keegan loosened his grip involuntarily and Layton took a deep, shaky breath. "Our procedure is advanced, far beyond any regular civilian doctor. It may be her only chance, Sergeant. Her only chance to have your child."

Keegan released Layton in that moment, stepping back as his chest heaved, processing the other man's words. The memories of Vivian's teary eyes filled his mind, the way she clung to him even last night as she was wracked with grief. 

"It won't be one of your experiments?" Keegan asked, his voice hoarse and raw. "No super soldiers?" 

"No," Layton assured him. "This has nothing to do with our project. It's a gift, Sergeant. For you, for your wife. For everything you have sacrificed for our nation." 

Keegan's hands clenched into fists at his side, he was used to having the answers to it all. To be collected, level-headed. He hadn't been that way since the ceasefire was finally called, it was as if his mind could hardly process information anymore with the only way to work through issues being fighting or fucking. At this moment, neither of those were options. The image of Vivian, broken and exhausted, stopped him from doing what he wanted to do, which was telling this doctor to rot in hell. 

"Okay," he murmured finally, the words heavy with dread. "We'll try it." 

Layton nodded briskly, relief flickering across his face before it was gone within a heartbeat. "Bring her in tomorrow. We'll start the process before your mission." He hesitated as he turned toward the door, glancing over his shoulder. "Oh, and Sergeant? Remember, she cannot know of the project. Not a word."

As Layton whisked through the door, letting it shut with a faint click, Keegan was left standing in the empty room. 

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“Holy Matrimony” @ginaiacob // instagram

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Riley !

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watch and learn, kid

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Blood bath

[spookiexe]

The Helix Project

Hi! My name is Spooki and this is my first 'chapter' to the fanfic I am writing for Call of Duty: Ghosts. It involves an OC of mine who is married to Keegan as the Federation is still very much alive and the war is stalled with a ceasefire. The story involves infertility, IVF, Experiments, and the creation of 'super soldiers'. You can read this on Wattpad too where I will post updates and new chapters first before I post them here.

Chapter I - Shattered Peace

Vivian sat laying on the couch in the dimly lit living room, the glow from the television flickered weakly across her face. A movie played, the sound low, but she wasn't focused on that. Her gaze had drifted to the shelf beneath the TV, where a collection of framed photos from her wedding stood like a shrine of better days. Her eyes focused on one in particular - a candid shot of her and Keegan locked in a kiss, his arms draped around her as if she were the most precious thing in his world.

She felt her chest tighten as she stared at the photo. 'God... We were so happy.' It was one of the few times she'd ever seen him without his mask - not the literal one he wore in combat but the one he kept up around everyone, including her. For one day, he'd let himself be vulnerable, and she'd seen the man she fell in love with, free from the burden of war.

Her mind wandered back to that day, the day was filled with happiness and empty promises that never manifested. They'd gotten married days after the war had officially been called to a ceasefire. Seven years of being engaged, all tangled up in the chaos of their world turned upside down. So much of that time was a blur in her mind now. The Federation's ODIN strikes, the endless terror, the sleepless nights wondering if Keegan was even still alive out there somewhere. She hardly received a text, let alone a phone call. She'd cried herself to sleep more times than she could count, imaging Keegan bleeding out somewhere far from home, alone.

Now? Now, she is still alone. Nothing had changed, Keegan was still married to his job, still keeping secrets she wasn't allowed to know. Special operations, that's all he'd ever told her, claiming if she knew more, she could be in danger. She hadn't even known he was part of something called the 'Ghosts' until after they'd exchanged vows and she was introduced to the other members of his team for the first time.

A heavy sigh slipped from her lips. She tried to shake off the knot of abandonment that seemed lodged in her chest, but it was no use. The ache only deepened as she thought about the latest IVF treatment. Another failure. Another wave of disappointment crushing her. And Keegan? He wasn't here. He never was when she needed him most. She wanted to scream, to sob, to press her face into his chest and let it all out, but he, as usual, was somewhere else, doing god-knows what.

The doctor's words from months ago replayed in her mind, the diagnosis had turned her world upside down, infertility. The moment the words left his mouth, it felt as if the earth in its entirety had given out from under her feet. She hadn't wanted much in life, especially once the Federation had invaded, but a child, a family, had always been at the top of her list. Keegan tried to comfort her, telling her he loved her for who she was, not for her ability to give him a child. It hadn't helped, not really. The loss felt too heavy, too raw. And now, after spending thousands on IVY treatments, they were still empty-handed. The hormone medication wasn't helping either, leaving her feeling volatile - especially in Keegan's frequent absence.

The fights between them had become almost routine, the anger fueled hatred spewed from them both, each one worse than the last. Vivian felt like she was fighting a losing battle, against her own body, against her loneliness, against the growing distance between her and husband. This was supposed to be a time of love and joy from them both, their first year of marriage, instead it was marred and left her heart feeling unrecognizable.

Her phone vibrated, pulling her from her thoughts as she slowly dug it out from under the blanket she was nestled under. She squinted as she stared at the bright screen, it was 8pm. She swallowed, her mouth feeling dry and she already knew what the text would say as she unlocked her phone.

───────────

𝙺𝚎𝚎💞💘

𝙸 𝚠𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚋𝚎 𝚑𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚊𝚠𝚑𝚒𝚕𝚎, 𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚒𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎𝚗'𝚝 𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚗. 𝙸'𝚕𝚕 𝚋𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝙸 𝚌𝚊𝚗.

───────────

She stared at the message, her heart sinking further but she wasn't surprised even though that didn't make it hurt any less. She contemplated texting him countless things at that moment, her fingers hovering over the screen but ultimately she couldn't get her fingers to cooperate and she left him on read. She instead opened google on her phone before typing the same thing she'd searched countless times over the last week, divorce lawyers near me.

It wasn't malicious, she wasn't angry with Keegan. It was exhausting. She knew he was doing what was right, what he thought he had to do. She still couldn't shake the feeling she'd never be and never had been his priority. Perhaps they made a mistake by getting married in the first place. Her inner voice berated her and she felt guilt twist in her gut.

'You're being so selfish.'

'He's trying to protect you.'

'If you love him, how can you even think about leaving him?'

She locked her phone, letting it fall into her lap as her head fell back against the couch cushion. The movie continued to flicker across the screen, but she still didn't see it. She didn't see anything. All she could do in the moment was sit there, drowning in her own thoughts.

She didn't know when she had fallen asleep, only being drawn out of her restless sleep at the faint sound of keys jingling as the front door unlocked with a click. Her eyelids were heavy as she watched the familiar figure dressed in black walk into her blurred view. His steps were quiet despite his large stature as he approached, the feeling of cold gloves slipping over her cheek was comforting, making her heart shatter all over again.

"Come on, baby. Let's go to bed." His voice was quiet as he turned off the TV and the living room was engulfed in darkness, his arm slipping under her knees and he lifted her with ease. Her face nestled against his chest, breathing in his scent she had grown accustomed to. The smell of gunpowder, the faint hint of his cologne and his unique scent. She felt the tears she had felt too exhausted to cry early finally well in her eyes, spilling past her eyelashes almost instantly. His hold on her tightened as he carried her towards their bedroom, her cry muffled against his uniform as he let out a quiet shushing sound. "I know, darlin'. I know." But he didn't. Not really. How could he know what was actually going through her mind?

[m1xmf]

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[spookiexe]

Here is a complete dump of the recent renders I did for Keegan!

I don't care if you use them/repost them, but if you do choose to do so, please do not remove my watermark. If my watermark is removed, please credit me somewhere in the post!

Programs used: Blender & Unreal Engine Character: Keegan P. Russ, Call of Duty: Ghosts. Owned by Infinity Ward and Activision. Environment credits: Hane Studios, Tim Hertel, & Angry Mesh

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Cult of Mortem

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[spookiexe]

My first attempt at greyscale and removing the lineart completely, of course I had to make sure it was on Keegan.

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