๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐'๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
I know I don't really interact much on this page outside of posting art, but I'm going to make an effort to be better about it. I figured the best place to start is to write more with each post, so here I am doing that! I wish I could have started with an easier piece tho.
This is really vent art so I already feel funny about sharing it, but I also think emotional transparency is important.
I've recently been digitizing some old family tapes that we came across. Those who know me personally know that my father died in 2020, so needless to say I've become very sentimental after that happened. It became very important to me to preserve the contents of those tapes, but I wasn't prepared for the emotional toll it's been having. I expected to be happy to see my first days of life, to see my dad decades younger and able bodied, and to hear the voice of my long passed grandmother for the first time as an aware being.
Instead I was met immediately with a ton of grief, that faded into something else that I can't unpack yet. The ugly truth is that I feel guilty that I can't reach into the mylar and warn everyone of all the horrible things to come. The ugly truth is that I feel cheated that I'll never know the happiness of having the family together for Christmas in '95 when everyone was still alive.ย
This past year was horrible for everyone, and plenty of people lost so much. If you feel anything similar, please know that it is so important to have an outlet. Screaming into the void is always a viable option
theartofmadeline
gracieabrams
amandla
gummygunk
stormborns