booty

I was in the snl audience twice |-/

[stability]

[keatonpatti]

[doktorgirlfriend]

Brain: You’re a horrible, worthless, garbage person, and your life is going nowhere but to hell.

Me: I don’t know what the fuck you expect me to do about that at 11PM, my dude.

[sweaterwithpaintstains]

3 am is such a powerful time. there are people sleeping. there are people partying. there are people having a movie marathon. there are people crying. there are people loving. there are people dying. there are people living. toegther at 3 am.

[susielesbian]

don’t romanticize 3 am everyone should be in bed!!!! go to sleep bitch!!!!!

[automatic-caution-door]

[ladysnowofmpls]

ok this is really sweet

[waitwhatdidtheysay]

[captions]

Girl: “You glue them on.”

Dude 1: [very confused] “Why would you do that? I don’t glue mine on.”

Dude 2: [also confused] “Yeah, what the fuck?”

Girl: “Have you never heard of gluing them on?”

Dude 2: [incredulous] “No!”

Girl: “Watch this.” [she removes her eyelash]

Dude 1: [slightly panicked] “No, I- STOP.” 

Dude 2: [shocked gasp] [pause] [concerned] “Do you still have eyelashes?”

Girl: [laughs]

[teenscoolest]

[ruinedchildhood]

[wellbutrinboy]

i love laying the FUCK down and sleeping

[straightboyfriend]

me: i want to die therapist: coconut oil

[100493503004422]

hate when I am wearing makeup & still look shitty like what else am I supposed to do? get enough sleep? eat right & exercise? as if

[cupcakelirry]

hi friends!! how are you all? have you all drank a glass of water and ate a meal? taken your meds? hugged someone you love? done something nice for yourself? if not pls do!!!!!!!!

[dreamgrl1998-deactivated2022072]

can’t my serotonin levels just regulate their fucking selves. grow up

[stability]

[spookymeghan]

The Pope: Climate change is a real and present danger.

Republicans: Alright Mr. Pontihat, why don't you leave science to the scientists.

97% of Scientists: Climate change is a real and present danger.

Republicans: God said Adam and Eve not Adam and Barometer.

[nevaehtyler]

this is iconic

[haraami-bi-deactivated20170923]

I’m crying holy shit GOALS

[ruinedchildhood]

[cutegorl]

It’s totally okay to say “you know what, this isn’t making me happy” and to walk away from whatever or whoever is keeping you from the happiness you deserve

[c3po]

me halfway through unpacking the dishwasher when i get to the cutlery