[mysticaletherealliving]

Sometimes people don’t want to hear the truth because they don’t want their illusions destroyed.

- Friedrich Nietzsche

[soul-from-another-era]

[timetravelsong]

𝐈𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞 𝐈’𝐦 𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐜𝐮𝐥𝐭. 𝐈’𝐦 𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐰𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐞.

excerpts from a book I’ll never write

[vink-charles]

There is this constant voice in my head

"You aren't good enough"

It makes me push myself over the edge

"Is that all you can do?"

Until I burn out completely

"I knew you were a failure"

Unable to move, it swallows me whole

"You should just give up"

And it's getting harder to resist it

[prayingunicorn]

[fuckin-depression]

My mind won't shut up

[ventblog3142]

if I'd listened to the thoughts last night, I wouldn't have had to deal with this shit today

[d-i-d]

[depresso-espresso-5150]

“Sometimes it scares me how much I think about going out for a walk, and never coming home. How willing I am to leave everything I have, and everyone I know.”

— s.m

[zer0-m0nster3n3rgy]

I don't want anyone to know that I have an ED until I am skinny!! I DON'T NEED HELP!! I NEED TO BE SKINNY!!

[anaiwanttofly]

things that i find comforting in my ed

my resting hr being under 60 bpm

feeling my rib bones

feeling my collarbones

being able to wrap my fingers around my wrist/arm

going to bed hungry

waking up and feeling faint

barely eating anything and not feeling hungry

feeling dizzy when i stand up too fast

[poe-the-failure]

Looks like I'll really never get out of it.

The number on the scale is too scary for me to choose health instead of making it smaller.

[depression-took-over-my-liiife]

[goddteeth]

i will never leave this house

[happyending95]

[nessarids]

"Tell me: what are you thinking?"

I'm thinking of killing myself, I'm thinking how things would be better without me, I hate myself, I hate comparing myself to other people, I'm so sick of myself...

[yousaveeveryonebutwhosavesyou]

Self harm doesn’t always happen when a blade touches skin.

It’s skipping meals because you don’t feel like you deserve to eat today. It’s having sex because you want to be used or abused or defiled. It’s drinking recklessly because you might have the ‘courage’ do something stupid. It’s smoking - not because you need the nicotine - because you know it’s bad for you. It’s banging your head against a wall when you’re angry. It’s crossing the road without looking because you lowkey hope a car might hit you. It’s thinking about all the ways you could break a bone and make it look like an accident. It’s not taking painkillers because you want to suffer. It’s taking painkillers in excess because you know it’s dangerous. It’s walking home the more dangerous way because you’re kind of half hoping you’ll get attacked or raped or stabbed. It’s going for long walks at night and getting chilled to the bone and hoping that you get lost so that you can’t find your way back. It’s seeking out triggering material. It’s all the stupid little ways you punish yourself for existing.

Sometimes self harm happens when you put effort into depriving yourself of things you like or need, and sometimes it happens when you don’t put any effort into doing the things you like or need.

It’s a pattern of self-destructive behaviour, and it doesn’t only happen in one way.

This sort of behavior is classified as “para-suicidal” It’s putting yourself in a situation of danger or destruction with the intention of risking your safety rather than a direct attempt on your life. Kind of, leaving it all to chance? Also doing things to harm yourself or your self worth because you feel you deserve to feel the outcome of those actions.