every angel is terrifying,

i am 𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻, both haunted and 𝘩𝑜𝑙𝑦.

[springmournings]

so where are my wings? a independent and privately written multi-muse with characters across different media. exploring themes of, loss, codependency, healing, survival. acts of rebellion and an unconditional devotion. these adaptions are my own. irregular activity brought by soy, 25+, her or they. rules + roster below. unlikely to follow first.

this is a private and mutually exclusive multi-muse for various characters across different media. basic rp etiquette applies here, please just be respectful. any drama, problematic behavior or anonymous hate will not be welcomed in this space. i do not take part in call out culture unless it's absolutely necessary and for people's safety. don't be afraid to let me know if i'm interacting with someone problematic, just please provide receipts.

all my muses are multi-verse adaptable, i love exploring outside of their canon. i use very minimal formatting, phases of using icons and not. please, never feel pressured to do either when writing with me. i'm here to write and aesthetics or lack of do not make or break a potential writing partner.

this blog will contain mature and potentially triggering content such as, violence, themes related to war, mental health issues, etc. all heavy triggers will be tagged accordingly. the written content posted here is created by me unless stated otherwise. each adaption is my own and i have been writing some muses for quite sometime now. head canons, icons, edits are not a free for all, do not reblog my content or lift anything from this blog.

please specify a muse. i will not take the time to figure who you would like to interact with. if you do not specify, i'm likely to ignore your request. you can send me memes at anytime. my list is open, however some replies may take longer depending on who's taking up the most brain space at the moment. i also don't believe much in expired things, if we still have the muse for something that's taken sometime to reply too, it doesn't bother me.

if you are a personal blog i ask that you please do not follow me or interact with my posts. i will not follow any blogs back that do not have ages stated, or if you condone any of the following. zionistic, homophobic, islamophobic, transphobic, racist or fetishizing behavior. if you ship problematic pairings,  ex:  underage muses with adults, even with time-skips or condone any dead dove do not eat material, none of that behavior or content is welcome in this space.

this blog's activity fluctuates. i work full time and i suffer from some mental illnesses that may hinder my productivity. i write at my pace and that same respect is given to you. again, my speed does not reflect my level of interest. my discord is available to mutuals interested in a different line of communication.

disclaimer, i would like to stress that the portrayals of these are my own and will not align with canon or fandom expectations. i am not affiliated with any rp communities or content creators.

𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗸𝗶 𝗻𝗼 𝗸𝘆𝗼𝗷𝗶𝗻, manga compliant.

mikasa ackerman, previously herkn1fe jean kirstein.   pieck finger.  hange zoë. * they / them pronouns.

𝗸𝗶𝗺𝗲𝘁𝘀𝘂 𝗻𝗼 𝘆𝗮𝗶𝗯𝗮, manga compliant.

mitsuri kanroji. hinatsuru uzui.

𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗶𝗻𝘀𝗮𝘄 𝗺𝗮𝗻, manga compliant.

himeno yurei. angel. power.

𝗷𝘂𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁𝘂 𝗸𝗮𝗶𝘀𝗲𝗻, manga compliant.

utahime iori. hiromi higuruma.  choso kamo.

𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗹𝗮𝘀𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝘂𝘀, game based, minor influences from show series.

ellie williams. tess servopoulos.

𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝗹𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗱𝗲𝗮𝗱, removed from, tlou preferred.

maggie greene-rhee. shawn greene.

𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗵𝘂𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗿 𝗴𝗮𝗺𝗲𝘀, literature based.

katniss everdeen.

𝗽𝗿𝗶𝘃𝗮𝘁𝗲, for plotted interactions. * if you see me writing a muse not listed it's likely because i tend to pick up characters on the fly or they are there for close friends. if they interest you, you can definitely ask.

𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗸𝗶 𝗻𝗼 𝗸𝘆𝗼𝗷𝗶𝗻, eren yaeger. isabel magnolia. historia reiss. nanaba. 𝗷𝘂𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁𝘂 𝗸𝗮𝗶𝘀𝗲𝗻, geto suguru. maki zen'in. 𝗸𝗶𝗺𝗲𝘁𝘀𝘂 𝗻𝗼 𝘆𝗮𝗶𝗯𝗮, shinobu kochō. kanae kochō. lady tamayo. daki. 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗶𝗻𝘀𝗮𝘄 𝗺𝗮𝗻, aki hayakawa. michiko tendo. 𝗰𝗼𝘄𝗯𝗼𝘆 𝗯𝗲𝗯𝗼𝗽, faye valentine. 𝗮𝗽𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗰𝗮𝗿𝘆 𝗱𝗶𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀, maomao. basen. * light novels preferred. 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗵𝘂𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗿 𝗴𝗮𝗺𝗲𝘀, maysilee donner. johanna mason. 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗹𝗮𝘀𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝘂𝘀, dina. tommy miller. 𝘀𝗾𝘂𝗶𝗱 𝗴𝗮𝗺𝗲𝘀, kim jun-hee. kang sae-byeok.

[springmournings]

hey so i know ive been writing and following new ppl, + plus ive got some recent memes. i am going to be remaking this blog when i get home from work today.

[springmournings]

okay, i’m officially moved over! considered this blog closed.

[springmournings]

hey so i know ive been writing and following new ppl, + plus ive got some recent memes. i am going to be remaking this blog when i get home from work today.

[springmournings]

we’ve come right back to where we started. for shawn

the grass treads the same, boots pressed it down and damp. it rained yesterday and the day before. they’re only able to travel when the downpour isn’t too great. he knows that’s why the brush is hard to navigate. his brows pinch when he looks at the map @birdcry extends, the print is faded, especially in the folds and being stored wet. “ well, shit. ” is all he could manage, breath of air let out with the curse. it was a group of the dead that separated them, there was no choice but to scatter. his only instinct in the moment was to grab his sister and run.

shawn looks away from the map, eyes squinting through unfamiliar foliage. the only thing he recognizes was the embedded root he near tripped on when they first left. “ reckon they’re still waitin’ on us, ” concerned struck his tone, soft falls like the rain patter. he knows beth is safe and at his side, but their other sister wasn’t. back home he knew the trails that lead them to the lake, or the back streets of town. “ she’ll be alright. ” he says for his sake and the grip beth had on his arm. she use to grip his sleeve the same way growing up. all desperate and nerves. “ don’t worry now. ”

[springmournings]

when are we writing love sick muses,

[springmournings]

Can I just say I admired how you write? It feels like I am reading poetry and prose that doesn’t make my head hurt.

ohhhh, thank you so much! it feels really good to hear that because i do try to work hard and write stuff that i enjoy but also my partner do. i’ve been writing for years and ive seen my stuff evolve into what it is now so i do have to say im pretty proud.

[springmournings]

if you could see yourself like this. for jun-hee !

her palm sits beneath her chin, a thoughtful look in pressed lips. she doesn’t realize it, but she’d stopped listening to him talk on. not for the sake of ignoring him, she actually quite likes what he has to say. sometimes it’s about work and events, something silly the kids did. her favorite is when he sometimes catches himself through a stutter from excitement or loses his place in a story.

he says her name, but she doesn’t quite catch on yet. focused on the way her finger tips run across the tear in denim. her drink goes neglected, condensation weeping on the branded napkin beneath. it’s their favorite spot, the same cafe he’d took her too. today marks the first day of fall, weeks since. the leaves have grown crisp and orange and now collect at their feet. “ sorry? ” her head turns, eyes focused in on @388s. there’s something curling at the corner of his mouth. it’s sly and not in a way to be smug, but it’s because he knows what he’s about to say will work. “ if you could see yourself like this. ”

heat rises through porcelain, cheeks stained pretty. it only adds to the tint of already applied blush. her gaze shifts quick and elsewhere, avoiding the warmth in his gaze. it’s different than other stares, something like adoration. “ why do you say stuff like that…. ” her voice trails, something slight and uneven shake from the flutter in her stomach. a few seconds passed and she reaches into her pocket to retrieve her phone, she doesn’t ask but with the pretty trees and the look upon his face, she captures the moment with a picture. she stares at it instead of him, something a little easier to than his own eyes. it helps settle the warmth in her face some so it looks like it’s just the cold getting to her. “ you should see yourself. ”

[haverst]

source

[tonightimightsee]

[springmournings]

i'm afraid i might ask if when we write together y'all not use small font with me anymore because a bitch is BLIND

[sufferwolf]

— ˀ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤethel cain — willoughby tucker, i'll always love you ask prompts.

to be known the way you should is to put yourself through hell.

i warned you, for me, it's not that hard.

don't ask me why i hate myself.

i've heard it before from someone who leaves.

i'll hurt myself if i want.

i can wait if i want but it'll never be good enough like i want to believe it is.

all of alabama laid out in front of your eyes but all you could see was me.

she's got her makeup done and her high heels on.

you'll keep changing, i will stay the same.

if you're not scared of jesus, fuck around and come find out.

time passes slower in the flicker of a hospital light.

she's a bad motherfucker.

i'm half of you.

lay me down where the trees bend low.

time may forgive me, but i won't.

i will wait.

love is not enough in this world.

you were kind.

this was all for you.

do you swing from your neck with the hope someone cares?

i want to bleed, i want to hurt the way that boys do.

her daddy keeps her in a box but it's no good.

will it be like this forever?

she's just trying to feel good right now.

do you hate me?

now i'll wear these scars for life.

my baby acts cool, but they all know something ain't right.

i don't care.

you know i'd do anything for you.

please leave open your most quiet door.

i bled till i cried, till i felt i might die.

i still shake just by nature.

what you do with all that mouth?

i'm still scared of that knock on the door.

the air in your room never moves.

she really gets around town in her old cadillac.

maybe you're right and we should stop watching the news.

think of all the time that i'll have with you.

it wasn't pretty like the movies, it was ugly like what they all did to me.

i keep the pictures hanging where the world can see 'em.

i can lead you to bed, but i can't make you sleep.

they say she looks just like her mama before the drugs.

you come around here just to watch me writhe.

i wanna die in this room.

when you said that you're in love, i never wondered if you're sure.

still, i waited and tried.

you're not scared of no knock on the door.

i still dream of violence.

i loved you when it hurt inside to.

i liked him 'cause his rule was "do whatever you like," and i tried alright.

i'll never live it down if i never get around it.

easy to hate, easy to blame.

i still play pretend like i don't watch you leaving.

the doctors gave you until the end of the night.

we were in a race to grow up.

i've never seen brown eyes look so blue.

she's no good at raising children, but she's good at raising hell.

can you hear them?

shoot me down, come on, hurt me.

that picture on the wall you're scared of looks just like you.

i pray the race is worth

the fight.

please don't leave me, i'll always need more.

death, it takes too long.

everything i've loved i've loved it straight to death.

i will always love you.

i've been picking names for our children.

i can't hold you anymore.

made a fool of myself down on tennessee street.

she's gonna get what she wants.

i'd rather die than be anything but your girl.

you tried to wade in 'cause you wanted just to tell me who you were.

am i what you think about all late at night?

yeah, you've changed, but did i ever know you?

to love me is to suffer me.

i can hear them singing.

i can see the end in the beginning of everything and in it, you don't want me.

they did to me what i wouldn't do to anyone.

i know you by your footsteps on the floor.

i don't know what i need.

i am young and naïve.

you were there looking for me, but i was gone.

i'm wide open and deserving.

i hope i die today.

i know she's your girl now, but she was my girl first.

i know, she really taught me well.

i swore i'd be good to you.

i won't wake up on my own.

think of us inside after the wedding.

put me down where the greenery stings.

you'll go fight a war, i'll go missing.

if you could, you'd leave it all.

i wanna go home.

she was my sister first.

they all wanna take her out, but no one ever wants to take her home.

all the boys wanna love her when she bats her fuck-me eyes.

i'll never blame her.

i'll never be kind enough to me.

goddammit, i did it to myself in hindsight.

please, just go easy on me.

i'd reach into your body and fix you if i could.

how much of a cruel year can you call my fault?

she goes to church straight from the clubs.

are you angry?

smoking that shit your daddy smoked in vietnam.

the boys can't get enough of her.

i'll never be that kind of angel.

when this is over, maybe then, we'll get some sleep.

i knew it was love when i rode home crying thinking of you fucking other girls.

you know it's true 'cause i've said it to you.

grew up hard, fell off harder.

hold me.

i never meant to hurt you.

it's not looking good, but did it ever?

i kinda hate her.

i'm gonna regret this.

[springmournings]

jun-ho raising jun-here’s baby…

[burnedown-a]

YOU HAVE THIS MINUTE WHERE YOU'RE WATCHING THE FIRE AND YOU'RE THINKING : IF I DON'T DO ANYTHING, THIS PLACE WILL BURN DOWN. . .

BURNEDOWN. a private, highly selective, plot driven writing blog for carmen berzatto of fx's the bear. 21+, staged by willow. ©

[virginiewoolf]

Fortesa Latifi, from The Truth About Grief.

[rigorwhoretis]

[springmournings]

(for shawn) — [ 🕊️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhen did they feel the safest ? [ 🍻 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat kind of drunk are they ? [ 🗡️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat is a scar that they have but never talk about ?

when did they feel the safest?

pre-outbreak it's definitely home. when the summers sets in and the farm work expectations become greater. they're not in school and being the oldest it's expected he takes on a bigger role. hershel expected that. he would say hard work makes you a better man and i think now, after everything shawn can agree. he felt the safest on the porch when the sun sets and his mom sits in a rocking chair admiring, the soft creak of it moving by the press of her foot. most of the time he'd join her, read from the bible or an old book if she asked. being an irish immigrant she has a few books from when she was younger ( she read them to shawn and maggie when they were small. ) or stuff she collected as she got older. most of it are irish tales or by authors her parents liked. where he feels safest now is beside maggie and beth. daryl, rick... everyone he's spilled blood for. ( it's honestly my favorite thing about the series. ) but the found family that he's got now, the connection is as deep as the blood he shares with his sisters.

what kind of drunk are they?

shawn grew up with an alcoholic father. no matter how that looks differently on people this is still substance abuse and it leaves the people around them with something they'll have to cope with. i don't think hershel was necessarily a physically abusive drunk, but i do think there was a lot of yelling. hershel grew up traditionally, he raised his kids as such. he had a difficult childhood because of his own abusive father and eventually would develop a drinking problem just like his dad. there's never a distinct time frame, but he would had periods of sobriety before relapsing again. an example would be he stopped after shawn was born, but slipped again sometime after having maggie. hershel made stupid decisions, the biggest was pawning off his father's watch that had been given through generations of greene's. ( keep in mind they've had this farm since the 1800's. i confirmed it. ) shawn grew up pretty fast. his father wasn't present so he became the man of the house while jo was taking care of hershel. i feel like he skipped a lot of school because the farm duties still had to be taken care of. they have a lot of animals and crops that depend on care and being farmers in such a rural area they were dependent on the income their farm would make them.

i'm also not saying shawn has never drank before, but most of it was when he was younger. he and maggie would slip out to barn parties at night and maybe he'd have a drink or two. sometimes just slips of moonshine because the rural kind isn't light work. she had a bit more of rebellious stage, smoking, shopping lifting even. shawn just wanted to make sure she wasn't doing anything too stupid because he watched his father too many times. also!! we talked about this briefly, specifically during the prison arc and you asked if he was separated from anyone. i'm going to say yes. he got wrapped up in the fighting, in just watching his father get beheaded. when he ends up alone he finds himself staring at a bottle. it whispers the same comforts that he saw his father find and he indulges and simply breaks. he cries for his father and his sisters. for daryl, for rick. for everyone he's got threads too. it's finding maggie again that pulls him that hole he created.

what is a scar that they have but never talk about?

during one of hershel's drunk episode they were fighting, he was trying to get him from leaving the house. please just think about this, he would of had to of been in middle school or having just started. hershel raised him to be tough, to be a hard working man so he stands up to him finally. jo had given up, she was tired of fighting him and shawn had had enough. again, i'm going to stay this again. hershel was not abusive. he's standing before him and the door and when shawn tries to keep him from the door hershel dodges him. shawn goes off balance, not expecting it. he thought his father would be too inebriated to catch him off guard, but he lands into the door frame. being that the house was so old, that it was hand built. in time the wood wears and nails loosen, sometimes they bulge out and need replacing. he collides with it, his palm out and trying to brace himself. it runs down the face of his palm beneath his pinky. it's the same length of his palm, jagged and thick. it was deep enough to the point where he needed to be taken for stitches. this was also the final breaking point for hershel because he gets sober after. shawn still loves his father, he doesn't blame him for anything. i feel he has the most guarded relationship with him after because being the oldest it was too much on him. herhsel of course never drinks again, i don't really count the slip up after the barn incident after shane opens it and they're forced to kill the walkers inside. if anything, he deserved that sip because he faced the new reality so suddenly.

[a-non-event]

"Just let it fall."