‘ if i love you , is that a fact or a weapon ? ’
(whenever you get the chance if you even want to cause I know you’re a busy bee 🐝)
Finally, FINALLY, I have answered this! It only took your birthday to make the inspiration come 😂 happy birthday my transatlantic bestie 😘🥳🎉💛
Porco slips down the little side street in east Liberio. The cigarette in his mouth glows in the dim evening as he inhales. One of Zeke’s; stolen from his pack at their meeting earlier.
Their meeting about Willy Tyber, the threat that is Paradis, island of devils, and what Marley plans to do about it all.
The irony of his current situation does not escape him as he comes up beside the small, shabby hotel. He takes another drag on his cigarette, allowing it to calm his nerves a little, before tossing it onto the ground and crushing it out beneath the heel of his boot. His hands go to the collar of his jacket, straightening it, and then his fingers comb through his hair. He checks himself in the reflection of a window across the way. Then he reaches into his pocket, retrieving a couple of stones.
The first hits the window above him with a sharp smack. He ducks into the shadows of the building, out of vantage point from the window, but still so that he can observe it. If that fucking Captain of hers is the one to poke his head out, he’s not about to present himself on a platter.
He steps back, trying again. This time, the window swings open. Dark hair and sharp, gunmetal eyes emerge, and she casts around the alley below with a frown.
He steps into the moonlight.
Their eyes meet. She nods once, and then disappears back inside.
It’s less than five minutes later when Mikasa joins him outside. He’s in his usual spot, back pressed against the cold stone wall, one foot propped flat against it, knee bent, hands in his pockets. His brow is cocked as he takes in the sight of her.
She’s in a long, pale pink skirt, white blouse tucked in, navy cardigan loosely buttoned. Her neck looks oddly bare since she stopped wearing her scarf to their meetings. Porco likes the way her collarbone looks, exposed to the pale moonlight. Her skin is unblemished and smooth.
His eyes snap back to hers. He rubs his chin. “I can see that.”
They stare at one another a moment longer. Eyes full of conflicted feelings; words on the tips of tongues neither of them can dare to speak aloud. So much confusion amidst fire that burns unbridled - an inferno that was never supposed to get this out of hand.
His hands are on her without warning. He yanks her to him by her cardigan, so that now they’re both bathed in the shadow of the building. Out of sight, hidden from the view of a world that would rip them apart as soon as look at them; such are their transgressions.
He moans quietly against her mouth; he knows he must taste like ash, but she doesn’t seem to care. Her slender fingers are in his hair, and for a second, he’s irritated that it will be messed up. It doesn’t last though; all sense and reason are banished the moment she presses her body flush to his. She’s so fucking warm. They’re matched in height, fitting together like two pieces of a puzzle that were always meant to interlock.
Except; they’re not, are they? They’re not even from the same picture.
She pulls back, breathless. “We shouldn’t do this here. Let’s go somewhere.”
“Yeah.” He takes her hand and pulls her along.
They duck and dive through narrow side-streets and dingy alleyways; two spectres dancing together through the night, afraid of the glow of street lamps and the idea of discovery.
Eventually, they make it down to the promenade; mostly deserted at this hour. Their feet carry them with the brusque, quiet steps befitting of trained soldiers, although they act as anything but tonight.
At the end, it’s easy to vault over the railings.
They pick their way down to where the hushed sighs of the ocean against the breakwaters are their only company. He lifts her up onto one of the rocks, her skirt immediately damp from the wet left behind by the spray. She doesn’t seem to mind this, either. Her arms wrap around his neck as he gazes up at her.
“We’re fucked if they catch us.” His words are blunt; a stark contrast to the reverence in his warm, amber eyes.
“They won’t, not here,” she whispers, barely audible above the ocean waves and Porco’s thumping heart. And then she’s kissing him again, and his hand is sliding up her bare leg. He can feel the power beneath his palm; she’s all toned muscle. She could probably kill him as quickly as she undoes him with her lips. Porco knows this. And yet, he doesn’t stop the journey of his hand as it dips below the hem of her skirt.
Strong fingers curl around his wrist, and he pauses, his mouth hovering next to hers. He can taste the black tea she must have been drinking, before they left.
“I …” She turns away from him; his lips brush her cheek as strands of hair fall across hooded eyes.
He presses his forehead to her temple. “You don’t want this.”
She sighs. “There are lots of things I want, Porco. I learned to stop asking a long time ago. Life doesn’t work that way. Facts like that just end up being weapons that can be used against me. Have been used against me.”
Her grip on his wrist tightens. The fingernails of her other hand skim through his undercut; the touch slow and contemplative.
Porco huffs out a breathe. The words leave him before he can claw them back.
“And if I love you? Is that a fact, or a weapon?”
He feels all of her tense. He leans against the rock, between her legs, waiting for the rejection. The horror.
Because he already knows the answer.
She turns her face back towards him, and now she’s staring him dead in the eye again, their noses touching.
He can see the flecks of silver in her irises, no longer hidden by heavy lids as her brows lift. He never knew grey could be such an enchanting colour.
It feels like he waits an age for her to speak. When she does, her voice is quiet. Defeated.
“We’re both weapons, Porco. We’re not allowed to love. Not like this.”