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Table for One - Part 98

The coffee shop was packed. Full. Except for a tiny table outside, with a single chair. That would have been the perfect table for me. For someone like me. I didn’t really intend to sit and drink coffee. I meant to take my cup with me and leave. But on an afternoon with no plans, nothing to do, waiting for my mother to finish her shopping, sitting outside alone with a nice latte watching people, sounded entertaining. Besides, I was feeling miserable, so the thought of that little table for one was inviting. But then, he showed up.

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No fucking way

madridistaforever

Özil and Ramos at the end of the match | March 23, 2018

asergiolife

Table for One - Part 97

It had been three weeks since he left Miami, but Sergio stayed true to his word when he said he’d call everyday. We’d talk for hours. In the mornings, late afternoons, or at night in his time before he dozed off. He’d give silly updates like what he was having for breakfast or how a photoshoot went. Then I’d be sharing my own boring update of nothing, except of how some old friends tried to connect and get in touch, asked if I wanted to hangout and catchup, and I refused every time. Just with the recent ongoings, and with the whole goddamn town talking about it, I didn’t feel comfortable being out there. Anyway, as the Liga’s next season drew closer, Sergio got busy. His calendar quickly got full and with his schedules, the video and phone calls gradually lessened, but we sent each other messages whenever we couldn’t talk. The realities of long distance relationships. Once the season officially opened, he got even busier. His usual messages to me started to come in irregular schedules, and he could barely reply to mine on time. Several instances, he replied when I was fast asleep in the middle of the night. One day, we missed our morning call, and he didn’t get to reply throughout the day. I tried to call several times in the evening but he was busy with a long commercial shoot that lasted till past midnight. I dozed off without getting to talk to him, not a single message received either. And that time wasn’t the last.

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I needa catch up damn

asergiolife

Table for One - Part 95

Something about the cold of the night made it feel more sinister. And although most of Miami was still awake, it was clueless that somewhere in it, a tragedy was about to occur. It seemed like the only thing missing was background music, and it’d be the perfect thriller. Like some horror film I was in, just I wasn’t sure if I was the victim, the villain, or the hero. If you’ve watched Dracula Untold, you probably know what I mean. The character was both, the savior and the killer. And if you have watched the film, you also probably remember that line by his son, the short narrative in the beginning of the story. I particularly remember that one, for some reason. It said “Men do not fear swords. They fear monsters.”

And in Neil’s story, I was the monster.

To Sergio, the monster was Neil.

And to me…

Well, I wasn’t really sure who my monster was.

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Table for One - Part 94

There’s a villain in every story. The wicked witch of the west, the wicked witch of the east, the evil stepmother, a monster, a beast. And what does a villain look like, some may ask. One with a black cape? Someone with a broom, or a big scary mask?

No.

Not at all.

*****

Sergio and I proceeded to have dinner. Everything was nice, he chose a beautiful restaurant with a great menu, but I couldn’t fully enjoy the early evening. I was quiet for the most part, with my head on what was about to happen a few hours later. He had no idea and it scared me, yet I was careful not to let him notice.

But of course he noticed.

“Is everything alright, Nena?” he softly asked, as he placed his Visa atop the bill. The waiter disappeared with it.

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Table for One - Part 93

They say that your soul knows what to do to heal itself. That it’s your mind that you have to worry about. Your mind where you locked the memories, your mind where you have kept pieces of the ones that hurt you, that still cut through you like shards of glass. Your mind that keeps you up all night. It is your mind that you have to convince.

And boy, is it hard.

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Table For One - Part 92

How do you fix something you did not break? And should you even? Would I do the same for him?

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Table for One - Part 91

I placed my phone on the console table by the door, as Sergio shut it behind him. After Bud said Neil had ran away from some mental facility five days ago, and with his exchanges of looks with Sergio as if they knew something I didn’t, I finally agreed for Sergio and I to speak in the privacy of our bedroom. But we’d been inside for a good minute and he’d said nothing and done nothing but stare at me, as if unsure what to say.

“You said we need to talk. So talk.”

Oh but had I known what he had to say, I wouldn’t have been so brave asking.

“Okay. But Nena, I need you to listen. Truly listen. Not listen with the intent to reply, but listen with the intent to understand. There’s something — a few things I need to tell you. Try not to interrupt me. I beg of you.” He put his hands on his waists, then took a long and deep breath. With his eyes intently on mine, he began.

“Jess, I wasn’t invited to this wedding.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

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sr4-realmadrid

I got a “look who’s posting again” notification lol you ain’t gotta tell me twice

wouldn’t it be typical Sergio if he had his song on repeat on his way to the final lol

#Sergio Ramos