Stiles and Derek have a “fling” during Stiles’ summer vacation but at one point Derek’s martyr complex and self loathing catches up with him and he starts panicking a little. being the one with the most baggage he decides he has to break things off for Stiles’ own good.
Derek lets him down as gently as he can and Stiles wants to hate him for it but he can’t, he can’t hate Derek and that makes him want to hate Derek even more. Derek is gentle, so gentle when he breaks it off, he takes the blame, he shouldn’t have let it get this far but it’s okay Stiles is young, he’ll find someone else to love and to share his entire life with.
Stiles is in a daze for a few days, he doesn’t cry, he doesn’t loose sleep. he’s fine. but one night he’s driving towards the loft almost on autopilot and realizes he just can’t do that anymore. he’s not welcome there anymore. at least not like he used to. Derek had made sure to tell him he was still in the pack, he was still welcome, they were still friends.
Stiles used to go over there all the time and anytime he entered the loft he would breath a little easier and he would give Derek looks from under his lashes, trying to tell him what he wanted because Derek never assumed, never took for granted what Stiles came here for. and then Derek would take the hint and finally kiss him softly on the lips and Stiles would melt against him, opening up entirely for him and Derek would take him to his bed and fuck him so good Stiles would sob and then after, they’d lay in bed and talk for hours until he had to get home before his dad came back from work.
he has a panic attack in the jeep and has to drive home after, feeling like absolute shit and he climbs up the stairs to his room and slides into his bed just to stare at the ceiling for god knows how long, exhausted but not being able to sleep. he keeps thinking everything over and over in his head, making himself cry and his chest aches in anguish because why the fuck did he let Derek do this?
after that night, he struggles with how fucking hung up he is on Derek. it never felt like this. he thought he had been in love with Lydia but yeah, no. what he felt for Derek was love. the one that just won’t ever fade away for better or worse. Derek is it for him. its him or its no one.
he starts calling and texting Derek all the time, he starts showing up unannounced at the loft more often than when they were actually together. he even goes so far as to try and kiss Derek a few times, absolutely desperate to connect, desperate to have what they used to have again but every single time Derek stops him. everytime Derek pushes him away, Stiles feels like he’s going a little more insane.
it’s like Derek is unfazed while Stiles is falling apart. eventually he stops showing up at the loft or anywhere really. he stays home and overthinks, usually ending up crying pitifully until he can’t even stand himself anymore and goes to bed to try and sleep it off. he stops calling Derek but he still texts him. Derek replies to him everytime but Stiles can’t help thinking his answers sound impersonal, distant, making him feel even worse.
since Stiles barely leaves the house anymore, the betas come to him instead. they hang out with him in his bedroom or they watch movies in the living room when his dad is away at work, keeping him company.
Stiles tries to be subtle when he questions them about Derek and they answer him but they keep it vague and it immediately freaks Stiles out. the betas pretend not to notice but they look torn. it’s obvious there’s something going on but they won’t say what or maybe have been told not to say.
he finds out what’s going on eventually. he’s given detention and stays late at school and on his way out to the parking lot, he stumbles upon Derek and his new teacher, Jennifer.
he stands there frozen as he watches her give Derek a kiss on the cheek, then Derek pulling her to the Camaro and opening and closing the passenger door for her. they’re about to drive away when Jennifer looks his way, face unreadable before looking away again and then they’re gone, driving out of the parking lot.
his mind is a mess as his thoughts become a whirlwind. he takes out his phone with shaking fingers and taps Boyd’s name in his contacts before putting his phone to his ear.
he gnaws on his thumb as it rings and when Boyd picks up he doesn’t even let him speak before asking if Derek is seeing anyone. was that the thing they were keeping from him? Derek seeing someone? Boyd sighs on the other end and Stiles’ eyes fill with tears. he’s got his answer. Boyd just says “Sorry, Stiles.” and Stiles hangs up.
he walks to the jeep, gets in and drives home on autopilot. his dad is home when he gets there, which is kind of a surprise since he’s been pulling doubles a lot lately and when he sees Stiles he asks if he’s alright, that Stiles looks pale.
his dad’s casual concern is too much for him and he bursts into tears right then and there. his dad who was sitting in his recliner almost throws himself out of it in his haste to pull Stiles into his arms tightly, asking frantically what’s wrong, what’s happened but Stiles just cries, hiding his face into his dad’s shoulder.
when he’s calmed down somewhat, his dad asks him again what happened but Stiles evades the question. he just says school had sucked and he’s tired. he can tell his dad isn’t really buying it but he doesn’t press.
he doesn’t sleep that night, debating for most of it if he should call Derek or not. in the end, he settles for sending him a text at around 3am telling him that he knows about Jennifer. he wants to add more because on it’s own it sounds ominous but he doesn’t know what else to say. “i wish you two well?” he doesn’t. “im happy for you?” he isn’t. he probably should be but he isn’t.
Derek sees his message at around 5am and leaves him on read.
Stiles goes to school on no sleep and his first period is with no other than Jennifer.
Boyd shares the class with him and he’s watching Stiles like a hawk the moment he gets into the class doorway. Stiles keeps his head down for most of the lesson, not paying much attention until somehow the class is talking about the best places in town for a date.
a student asks Jennifer if she has a boyfriend and Stiles’ head snaps up and he watches as Jennifer’s cheeks blushes slightly and plays coy saying it’s not an appropriate question but everyone can tell she means yes she has a boyfriend and would love date ideas.
the class laughs a little while Stiles scoffs with disdain before rolling his eyes. Jennifer’s eyes zeroes in on him then and her coy smile turns sharp, almost deadly as her laughing eyes turn knowing and smug.
it hits Stiles like a bullet and he stands up so abruptly his desk topples over and his things fly scattering all over the place. the entire class jumps in unison at his brusqueness and they turn to look at him in surprise.
he’s breathing hard and his fight or flight has kicked in so hard his heart is hammering in his chest. Jennifer’s previous demeanour is gone and now she looks as surprised as everyone else but Stiles saw it, he saw it, she can’t pretend it didn’t happen.
she asks if there’s anything wrong, her face full of concern and he feels hysteria looming.
the moment breaks when Boyd picks up his desk and places it the right way up before bending down to start picking up Stiles’ stuff scattered on the floor. Stiles shakes himself and bends down to do the same. the rest of the class turn their attention away from him and start murmuring among themselves.
Stiles’ face is red and blotchy with embarrassment and his hands shakes as he finishes picking up the last of his things. Boyd drops his stuff on the desk and subtly brushes his fingers on Stiles’ for a moment.
he whispers “i saw that too.” before walking back to his own seat.
Stiles sits back down and looks at Boyd who’s watching Jennifer with an almost bored expression but Stiles knows Boyd a lot better than he used to and he can tell he’s analyzing her like she’s a microbe under a microscope.
if Boyd had seen it too then maybe he wasn’t insane. he wasn’t just the jealous ex who was seeing things.
the hardest part would be to convince Derek of that before it was too late.
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