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I have a sixteen week challenge ahead... In 16.3 weeks I'm going to Boston. By then I want to have lost 30 lbs which is right around goal weight. Every day is a struggle. I wish food was not my only focus. It's all I think about and it's my love affair. I want to enjoy food without guilt. Food commercials, food smells, driving past food all messes with my brain. I feel this is a real disease addiction I have. I want to love myself but it's so hard. Let's see how long I can focus on this 16 week challenge...

I cannot stop eating today!

I think i just ate my weight in Peanut butter MMs...

fail

Woke up at 5am after getting home and in bed after midnoght last night. After sittingin bed for 90 minutes I decided to go on a mile walk/run at 630. I think the morning was a good time to go out but will I be able to do it every day. Now at 945 I am tired but cannot sleep. What is worng with me? Also already used 15 of my 26 points! WTH

This is stupid

Weigh in today was not as bad as I thought. New Starting point is 170.6. And as hard as I try I am not a morning workout-er. Evenings are going to be the way I roll. Even though my schedule is hectic I will have to make it work... I watch Big Bang Theory almost every night so I guess I can miss one episode to get out and run.

Goals: Starting 170.6

5% - 8.5 lbs

10%- 17.1 lbs

15%- 25.6 lbs

20%- 34 lbs

Goal weight- 130-140

#weight watchers #points plus #weight loss

Once again, new goal and new mind set. Monday is going to be the new weigh in day. I feel this will reduce the weekend bunging since weigh in has been completed and 4 days to recover... I am setting new goals since I have been at a plateau for quite some time. Stuck in the 170s... I dropped to 167 in March but have went back up since I fell off the wagon. Every day in my head I give up and say tomorrow is a new day. I am going back o the old mind set of suck it up bitch. Once the weight is gone NO MORE DIETING! I can maintain like a mother but losing is my challenge. In February I want to do the Disney half marathon and with 30 extra pounds my knees are not happy running. And this weekend I had a melt down. Spent the weekend with the BF and I felt so disgusting. I did not want him to touch me or look at me. I actually cried because I felt so bad. NO more feeling bad. I did this to myself and I have to take responsibility for myself. New goals and rewards:

Current weight will be known tomorrow morning and percentages are from current weight but I am guessing I will be about 172:

5% loss - one iTunes song purchase.. Call me maybe (been dying to buy it! but too lazy)

10% loss - One wii game purchase (Super Mario 3)

15% loss - New Couch cover from Ikea (probably red!)

20% loss - GOALLLLLLLL New Clothes!

Tomorrow is starting out c25K again but starting from week two. Week one is harder for me with the stopping and going after short periods. I would rather do longer runs and feel like I am doing more working than plain walking around with head phones on. I am determined to do this in the morning. I live in an apartment complex and the driveway is 1/2 mile. I have semi anxiety about it because when I run I feel likeeveryone I pass will be judging me and thinking I am weird for running... Since I am trying to "train" for the 1/2 marathon I want to do it on concrete/asphalt since that is what the marathon will be on. I have heard that running on the treadmill is different and a little tougher... I have ran on a tread mill and think that not being able to run at your own pace and having to pick a speed is different than plain running... Send the good positive vibes my way..

Finally WW P+ is the way I am going. Starting off with one point less per day too because the last two weeks I have been using my points and have been mainting rather than losing... 7 less poiints a week will hopefully give the difference..

Check in tomorrow for real goal numbers

#points plus #weight loss #weight watchers

So I've been back on ww points plus for three weeks and I've gained weight. I've been tracking like a beast and nothing. ?? #fed up

Trying out diet coke brownies...

Boo

HAd a .2 lb weight gain...

Back on the wagon

I am once again starting my journey to weight loss. 20 lbs to lose by December then training for a half marathon for February. My motivation is to feel better in my skin. I started a photo journey. I am taking a picture every morning after the shower to help myself see the progress. I started my weight loss journey in 2008 at 240 pounds. four years later in 2012 I am at 169. I still feel like that 240 pound girl so I want photo proof. At my highest I have no pictures of myself so I cannot see the progress. I hope this helps. I LOVE MYSELF. I LOVE MYSELF. I LOVE MYSELF.

Bad Bad Bad me

Basically the entire month of march I have been off on vacation and doing other things I have not been worrying about my weight. And wouldn't you know that I did not do too bad. Even though I did not weight myself prior to my vacations, from the last time I weight myself I only gained two pounds. I guess that is bad since I gained but I was very lazy, didn't really care what I ate and just did anything, I have to get back motivated and reach my goal weight. Now that Lent is over and beach season is here I need to get motivated. Everyone has been saying how great I look and how much wight I lost I still see the same me. I have decided at my goal weight I am going to get laser hair removal as my gift to myself. Lets do this thing!

Out of focus

I have been off track now since I hit the 160s. I have not been tracking, been eating out, snacking, and eating when I am not hunger. I can only blame myself. I am so focused on my vacations and getting to leave this horrid hot state that I do not care about my points and diet. I am sure I gained this week and last night I was going to give up. I was thinking I have been counting and doing this since July of 2011 and still not at any goal I want to be at. I was 4 pounds away from one goal pre vacation but missed that.. I mean I still have a chance of getting it but keep giving excuses and lost all motivation.

I do not LOVE myself and this is where the problem comes in. I cannot love myself now how will I ever love myself. I will always find something to pick on and nag at or find reason to say mean things to myself. Just very frustrated right now!

Off topic...

I am starting to see that all things do happen for a reason. God has been looking out for me and would like to take a moment to thank Him for everything. I thank You everyday even if I don't say it out loud, in my heart I mean it. When I can't find the words, You don't turn on me, and embrace me no matter what. Thank you and I know You will be by my side tomorrow.

Shameful

Why is it when I have a weight loss I want to eat more to celebrate? I cannot break this habit and will have the power to over come it! I am 19 pounds from my UWG and should be able to achieve this by my birthday (May 31) but with every loss, the next week I gain because I over eat from the loss. For example three weeks ago I hit 171. The next week went up to 172.8 and then this week down to 169.6. Today I went to Hard Rock casino and had a glucerna bar and cereal but when I left me and the peeps went to applebees. I had the chicken fajita roll up with fries. The table got a dessert but I passed. Then when I got home I had a hand full of sour gummies and 2 servings of chocolate covered pretzels! Then tomorrow I havea date with my "family" and we are going to Longhorn... Then valentines day I have a "date" with my other "family" I need to SUCK IT UP!!!!!! ??

Weigh in

Down to 169.6 !! Wahoo

"We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses" -Abraham Lincoln

anakotowicz

srqchanges-blog

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