enigmatic

self-serving blog to archive my writings

[ssoulmated]

you will be mine

you are already mine

i'll push you face first into the rage,

break into your love at your ribcage

i'll untie you by your arterial strings

and keep you bound to me by your veins

i'll inhale your exhales straight from your lungs,

and greedily bite into the adoration at your ventricle.

when my feral teeth graze your skin,

soft as ever, made for me only

do not fucking forget this isn't loss of control,

for you're pinned right here

and will always be regardless of who you have near

[ssoulmated]

i wrote this in a psychotic episode while over analyzing love & different forms of it + different tropes lol

[ssoulmated]

you will be mine

you are already mine

i'll push you face first into the rage,

break into your love at your ribcage

i'll untie you by your arterial strings

and keep you bound to me by your veins

i'll inhale your exhales straight from your lungs,

and greedily bite into the adoration at your ventricle.

when my feral teeth graze your skin,

soft as ever, made for me only

do not fucking forget this isn't loss of control,

for you're pinned right here

and will always be regardless of who you have near

[ssoulmated]

i dont like you anymore but wow my best poems came from grief over you

[ssoulmated]

unhoused dog

kicked and kicked

and

kicked

kicked

kicked

and kicked some more

— what it feels like being homeless ngl

[yakultstan]

salted chips regurgitated / I like to taste things twice / the internet taught us no limits / did wifi test on mice? / my friend she won’t eat honey / she’ll slice into her skin / watching our parents watch the news / they’re being told what to think / it feels pointless to even write now / everything I say is dumb / my mind is frightened when I’m happy / I feel comfort when I’m numb

[cherrycheers2]

I do not desire anyone, I do not desire to be seen. I beat myself over the head with these words my god.

I trace over your name in my mind with a tongue tasting of denial. The indentation in my mind too bumpy to bear, too permanent. How long ago did your name crawl into my mind and leave its brand, like a cavity resulting in a cracked- fractured tooth and my tongue can’t stop tracing over it despite the pain it brings, you make yourself aware. The infection of my infatuation is one that could travel through my bloodstream and poison my heart and mind, killing me where I stand, an abscess of love.

You told me that you don’t kiss with tongue, is it because you don’t want to trace the cracked tooth of infatuation you’ve given me?

[tinylittlecosmos]

I am so lucky.

Four words that will define the hope

That must fuel us as we move forward through the dark.

No matter what.

With delusion, with tears, with gritted teeth

I will feel the air against our skin and assert:

I am so lucky.

[darling-little-sidenotes]

To say we were written in the stars

Would be the greatest shame on Earth

If soulmates

Are simply split apart

Balls of flame

If the stardust in your veins

Matches the stardust in mine

What would that mean?

Destiny means nothing

When I have fought

Millions of years

To find you

When I have fought millions of stars

To get to you

And yet

From the moment we met eyes

I could see the sparkle in your veins

I could feel the pull of familiarity

Of the star i used to know

The star we used to be

Finally

A face

A name

To the feeling

ive felt for an eternity

To say we were written in the stars

That we were destined to be

Destined to meet

Would be the greatest shame on Earth

But i would bear any shame

If it allowed me another moment with you

[ssoulmated]

a poem about you, from a dream i had.

10/21/24

x x x

whether it's dusk or dark,

the dim lighting of the room never

mattered as my eyes were fixed on you.

just wanting to be close enough,

is it trapped if i'm with you?

not worth it to worry about anything else,

but i can't help but love interactions more when enhanced by you

less knowing who they are,

more wanting you shown off.

is it selfish speaking with someone just for a new flavor of existing alongside you?

how much sweeter can the comfort be?

i love this. i love you. i love us.

God,

what a blessing to be near you

[uqual-deactivated20251116]

no nectar, no god

you called me cruel.

how easy, to forget the garden you scorched.

to curse the flower for withering

in the smoke of your swarm.

i was honey-laced hands,

shaking, open, ready to be stung.

i loved you even through the infestation.

even as your shadows hatched in me.

even as your venom bloomed under my ribs.

you hovered

from mouth to mouth,

called it hunger.

said i was cold when i wouldn't pretend

your disease was devotion.

you wanted a whore.

a sweet thing with bent knees

and no memory.

a cow in a collar

nodding for the slaughter.

you were never a honeybee.

you were a hornet.

a wasp.

the kind that burrows,

the kind that follows,

the kind that sings pain into skin

and calls it a kiss.

you haunt.

i rot.

and now,

you wipe your slate clean,

like you didn’t bleed rot into mine.

you buzz and buzz,

try on my face,

echo my ache,

build your little shrine

of secondhand sorrow.

but i do not wish to grieve you anymore.

i drown you in silence.

i press the nest to my chest and set it aflame.

you are ashes now.

there will be no second spring.

no nectar.

no god.

only me.

[ssoulmated]

to create from destruction

wrote this with the intention of being read a certain way. i think it's not translated well without verbal delivery? oh well written 10/26/2024

you were a star and i'd begun to collapse, but forgive me for forgetting that isn't everything. who's to say that collapse is destruction? with the collapse of a star, there's more than death. to term it as a simple collapse fails to do justice to all that we'd built, fails to account for the magic of death.

to pull the death card and dilute it's meaning lends it's hand to nothing more than sorrow that undermines death's collapse of what once was and the creation of a supernova that alights the starscape with the breathtaking colors of change. so, despite the pain of collapse, your attention to the brightness of what lies ahead, possibilities outshining the vast galaxy of what hurt you to collapse is to create. shine anew.

[ssoulmated]

pride month poem : )

6/8/2025

you define what's normal, label what is weird hatred-cloaked violent fear because inside you know you're queer healing the depths of aching wounds, unsealing what was shoved away so soon perhaps you could have faith in pride, at least with us you wouldn't have to hide overcome your sterile stagnation and pull yourself from trepidation you can undergo a rebirth admit you're queer, rejoice, and feel great mirth

[drearydaffodil]

blood and bread

The plasma center is closing its doors

I worry for the walking wounded—

To choose between blood

And life

To have that choice removed

The leeches are leaving

But taking the lucre

Will they all starve?

A dizzy dilemma

I see no solution

Mercy left

Long ago

[ssoulmated]

a silly poem abt being lost (literally)

Here I turn, what's familiar? I think I was here before, but I don't recognize that door... These houses look the same, but maybe that's the rain... That street sign's tilted astray, was it always that way? Perhaps this turn wasn't always there, Wait - where am I? Oh my god, this isn't fair. Google, I think I'm lost.

[ssoulmated]

Some haikus

10/24/2024

instead of dying, i started living harder fear never served me

a soul split in two what's in me is seen in you us, understanding.

[ssoulmated]

Write Away! Poetry Journal pg 118

11/18/2024. Prompt: Write a poem to your 13 year old self with advice for living a good life (or avoiding heartache).

To live a good life, you should look past this age, Cast your ideas of existence into the gulf and contend with knowing it won't begin at home.

Caught between no advice and far too much, I'll struggle to be concise, but spend less time at war with yourself, that's the most important of your fights. the blade bites and bloodshed won't help you after all. and it's hard to believe or look ahead, but those things start to matter once your world doesn't end.

A good life is a skill you'll learn, a habit built on love, living well still hurts, so better to release that shame. even with your back against the wall, you can fight for all that's worth it, just know you'll have to be brave and decide that you deserve it.

i love you <3 :)

[ssoulmated]

paris euro lemonade

lo siento- wait, fuck

oh, to be hit by a truck...

~ a poem about some stupid embarrassing thing i did : )