Social Abuse and Communication Abuse: Abuse that will affect the way socialize and see yourself within a social group, and the way you’re able to express and communicate. Bold or copy ones done to you, italicize and copy if you’re not sure! Alternatively, just count how many apply to you and write down the numbers.
abuser punishing you for not showing enough interest in what they’re saying
abuser deciding what are appropriate reactions to their words and actions
abuser humiliating you for showing excitement/happiness
abuser shaming you for not showing will to participate when they think you should
abuser punishing you for a certain face expression(s)
abuser punishing you for having a certain emotional reaction to their words and actions
abuser demanding you shut down your emotions except for the ones they find convenient
abuser punishing you for contradicting them/challenging them on anything they say
abuser punishing you for confronting them on their lies
abuser comparing you to others to point out how you’re lacking/somehow worse than everyone else
abuser using any kind of inexperience/lack of knowledge/lack of skill to humiliate and depict you as a failure or an idiot
abuser making you extremely self-conscious about how you look and sound while you’re trying to socialize/communicate
abuser making you feel like everyone is noticing the same faults in you
abuser forcing you to consider how you’re viewed by them to the point of being unable to focus on what you want to say/express/do
abuser watching you when you’re not aware of it and proceeding to humiliate/hurt you for what you were doing while you thought you were unwatched
abuser making you feel like you’re always watched and judged by repeatedly catching you off guard and punishing you for it
abuser disregarding all your expressions of needs and emotions, letting you know that what you want and need is not important, and making you feel stupid for even voicing it
abuser ignoring your expression of pain or repeatedly insisting that you stop expressing it, have no reason to express it and finding your expression of pain an annoyance or a bother or even an attack on them
abuser hurting you even worse in reaction to your expression of pain, convincing you that the more you express it, the more they will hurt you, effectively making you scared of expressing pain and connecting it to further punishments
abuser taking your expressions of emotions as a personal insult and accusing you of hurting them on purpose, or even punishing you for it, just for expressing your personal emotions
abuser showing off their control and authority over you in front of others
abuser humiliating you in front of others
abuser ordering you around, minimizing your presence and importance, and twisting your words and expressions in front of others
abuser talking in your name to others and making decisions for you
abuser making you seem selfish/cruel/inconsiderate/rude/mean to others if you disagree with their decisions
abuser publicly criticizing your appearance, actions, achievements or problems
abuser talking as if they’re the absolute authority on who you are and what your potential is
abuser talking about you to others as if you’re beneath them, and as if it’s okay to ignore your needs and interests completely, and not feel guilty or concerned about it
abuser encouraging and succeeding in having other people approve of abuse/perpetuate the abuse as well
abuser convincing other people the abuse is for your own good and getting validation for it
abuser having people on their side and rutting them against you
abuser successfully convincing other people you’re just trying to get attention and they should ignore you
abuser spreading information about you to your peers/friends/teachers that humiliates, ridicules, invalidates or villainaizes you
abuser painting a picture of you as a liar, hysterical, too emotional, delusional, crazy, unstable and not to be trusted in order to make sure you will not be believed when you try to speak out against them, or about any issue that bothers you
abuser telling others about abuse and trauma you’ve been thru without your permission/blaming the symptoms you show on trauma of their choosing
abuser telling others you’re abusive/selfish and twisting your intentions and actions to vilify you
abuser telling others about your mental illness, sexual orientation or other sensitive personal information that can easily be used against you, without your permission
abuser isolating you from your friends, support, and community and convincing you that nobody will stand on your side when it matters
abuser punishing you for who you choose to include in your social life and finding ways to make you regret it in order to dictate who you’re allowed to talk to
abuser stalking/eavesdropping/invading your privacy and using information they found against you/to control you
abuser convincing you that even people you thought care about you couldn’t possibly care because of who you are as a person, and shaming you for thinking for a second that you could be lovable to someone
abuser reacting to anything you say as if it was a stupid and unnecessary thing to say, and using it as a proof of you being of less intelligence
abuser continually reminding you how badly will others think of you if you continue doing what they disapprove of
abuser continually finding something wrong with you and pointing out how will others react to it if you don’t change it
abuser lying to you about what others have said about you/what they think of you
abuser deciding how others perceive you and what they think of you
abuser deciding what your place is in society and reminding you to “know your place” if you act outside the role
abuser displaying anger and punishing you if others give you positive attention
abuser denying others the chance to give you positive attention (taking their attention, getting them away from you, interrupting and starting a new topic when they’re trying to talk to you)
abuser making a show of caring about you, only to change it into ridicule and humiliation
abuser putting you in situation they already know is going to end up in public humiliation
abuser having you spend time in an abusive and hostile environment, being forced to endure socializing with people who will take any chance to attack and emotionally abuse you, without the ability to confront them or escape
abuser forcing you to change what you think of yourself based on how they see you, having you look at yourself only from their point of view and deciding it’s who you are
abuser taking away your means of communication (phone, internet, and any other means you would usually use to communicate with others)
If you bold more than 5 of these, you’ve been abused and sabotaged from ever establishing a healthy way of expressing, communicating and socializing with others. In other words, no you’re not bad at expressing, you’re not bad at communication, you’re not at fault for struggling to socialize, this was done to you to sabotage you from ever having a healthy start. (also if you’re struggling with social anxiety it’s very likely abuse has played a part in it, or at least made it worse)
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