Coffee and Violets (SUGA) CH10 - Golden
The light flickers on, my head staying focused on my notebook in front of me.
"Are you still writing? You've been in here since 6:00 am" Hoseok gawks.
"What can I say," I laugh, "I've just found something interesting to write about"
"More like someone.." he teases. My smile just widens as he gasps, "you're not even going to hiss at me for teasing you? You must be down bad"
"Ugh, I don't know, Hoseok" I cover my face with the lyric book, "what if she doesn't feel the same way? And I'm just wasting my time?"
"Loving someone is never a waste of time, Yoongi"
I lift my head, "but what if I just end up hurt?"
"You might. And if you do, you know I'll be here to help you pick up the pieces. But you might not, you might take a chance on something great and find yourself better than you've ever been. You have to love her enough to take the risk," he rests his hand on my back, "and you have to love yourself enough to know you deserve it"
I sit up, "you're right. Thanks Hobi, I needed that"
He pulls me into a hug. I groan.
"I said I needed the advice, not a hug"
"You looked like you needed a hug," he laughs, "now go finish your love song"
I chuckle and continue writing. It all comes to me so easily, stanzas pouring from my pen like waterfalls as my feelings spill from my heart onto the page.
I'd say I lost track of time, but time must've lost track of me. I found myself wandering into a whole other world while dreaming about her. Just the image of her in my mind was enough to make me completely lose my mind.
Golden hour drew shadows of monstera on the wall as I breathed in the fading light. I close my eyes, imagining the warmth of her hand in mine. Trying to picture us together, my heart pounding at the thought. As I sat there, my eyes began to flutter closed.
A warm hand shook my shoulder, "Yoongi, it's me, Y/N,"
I bolted upright, immediately taking notice of the lyrics sprawled out in front of me and stealing my notebook from the desk.
"Hey, just brought you some coffee"
I gasp for breath. She's standing way closer than she ever has before, and her hand is still rested on my shoulder.
"What's in the notebook?" She asked.
"Um, nothing" I sank into my seat.
She giggled, "okay. You don't have to tell me, but now I'm very curious"
"It's, it's uh," I stuttered, "my joke drafts"
She burst out laughing, "joke drafts?"
I grinned, "yeah. I like to write them down first to see if they're funny or not"
"I kinda feel like I am one right now," I replied.
The afternoon together faded with the golden light, and soon it was just the two of us and a sky of stars. It was dark, but neither of us reached to turn on the too-bright fluorescent lights. Words stretch into the depths of the night. I take a sip of my americano, the cold of the ice now a faint memory. Driven by our caffeine delusions, the night marched on. Time has forgotten us in this patch of the universe.
"I have a lot of ideas, but I haven't pieced any of them together yet" she says.
"Well, um," she pauses, "I've always dreamed of having a character that, like- has become so focused on the routine of work that they kinda.. forget what inspired them in their work? But then as they find themselves meeting new and different people, they find who they themselves are, like- as an individual," she looks to me, then exhales, "there's also a romance in the book, but... but I don't know if that's too weird, or too basic, or, or maybe I just don't have the skills or the time to write something like that"
"Of course you do" I say before my mind second guesses.
She giggles, "well how would you know?"
I scoff, "because just listening to you, I know that you're brilliant enough to write whatever you want. Plus, it's not like you could write it wrong, not if no one's written it before"
"Yeah..." she plays with the lid of her drink. It's been empty for a while now, "maybe I'm just not good at trusting myself, at being patient with myself. I can never find the time to write anymore"
"If you can't believe in yourself, then let my belief in you be enough," my hand absentmindedly finds hers. I think back to Hoseok's words earlier, "love yourself enough to know you deserve to make time for things that are important to you"
She looks at me. Like, turns to face me fully while holding onto my hand with both of hers. I never noticed before, the way her eyes seem to sparkle in this glimmering way. Even in the darkness of this room. Her eyes shine like fresh snow, reflecting light into my life. I see it all around me.
"Yoongi, there's something I need to-"
"Yoongi! It's time to close the shop!" Hoseok calls from outside.
Instantly she pulls away, dropping my hand. Damn it, Hoseok!
"What did you want to say?" I pried.
She mumbled, "I uh, it's nothing. I've been here a while, I should go"
"Wait, at least let me walk you home!"
Hoseok yelled again from the storefront, "Yoongi! I need your help closing!"
I sigh. Y/N just smiles, "see you again tomorrow?"
"Yeah," I pause, "wait, you don't have work tomorrow though?"
"I know! Would you be up to maybe hanging out?"
I beam, "yes! What time?"
"Meet me at my store, around 8:00?"
After I saw Y/N off, I stormed over to where Hoseok was sweeping.
"What the hell, Hoseok?" I fumed.
Hoseok stopped sweeping, "I should be saying the same thing! I was working all day and you couldn't bother to even help clean up?"
"Y/N was about to tell me something that could've been really important!"
"Oh my gosh," He choked, "I completely forgot you were talking to her. How did it go? Did everything go okay?"
"It was going great! We talked for hours, I got to know so many things about her, and then she said she needed to tell me something-"
"OH MY GOSH, DO YOU THINK SHE LIKES YOU TOO???"
"Well I WOULDN'T KNOW because SOMEONE interrupted..." I attacked.
"Oh Yoongs, I'm so sorry,"
"It's alright" I mutter, "I just really wish I could've heard what she was going to say"
"Well, you'll know soon enough."
"With your song! Once you tell her how you feel, you'll be able to find out pretty quickly whether or not she feels the same way" he smiles, "did you finish writing it?"
"Pretty much, just gotta put it to music"
He smirks, "when are you going to play it for her?"
"I don't know... I mean what am I going to do? 'Hey Y/N, I wrote a song about you, so we need to find a piano so I can play it for you, and if you hate it it'll be a really quiet drive when I drop you off'? ...It'd be awkward"
"What if you recorded it and played it for her?"
"And just sit there while she listens to it?" I question.
"Or, or what if you said 'Hey, I made some new tunes for your cafe' and then sneak it in the mix?"
"Yeah, and what if she's like 'no, I hate this one! Why would you even make me listen to this'" I burst out laughing.
He chuckled, "I really don't think she is going to do that"
