stan

[stanley-uris-offical]

Uh. Hello. I'm Stanley Uris. My friends call me Stan.

Uhm.

-Gay

-Loser

I enjoy birdwatching and puzzles. I don't like clowns.

People I know:

@richietrashmouth-offical

@edward-kaspbrak-official

@officiabillydenbrough

@theo-decker-official

...Yeah I don't know anyone else.

[rockin-robin-offical]

i think we should normalise kissing our friends a little more. on that note i think we should normalise kissing our friends' mums a little more. just food for thought

[stanley-uris-offical]

I'm-

Richie, is that you?

[rockin-robin-offical]

no i'm robin

hi

[stanley-uris-offical]

Hello.

I'm Stanley. Nice to meet you.

[rockin-robin-offical]

i think we should normalise kissing our friends a little more. on that note i think we should normalise kissing our friends' mums a little more. just food for thought

[stanley-uris-offical]

I'm-

Richie, is that you?

[max-mayfield-offical]

ooc: whos ready to boycott the new st series??

[stanley-uris-offical]

ooc: you know it

[hateful-clown-offical]

@satan-offical @offical-fanartist-offical

@7-eleven-offical @man-offical @james-offical @snail-official @purple-morphsuit-guy-offical @argon-offical @laffico-natas

@smol-gremlin-child-offical

@bread-offical

[stanley-uris-offical]

hmmm

nope, not doing that again

[hateful-clown-offical]

what

[stanley-uris-offical]

you heard me

ive had enough of one ominous clown for a lifetime

[hateful-clown-offical]

i have a sneaking suspicion there’s a reference here that im unaware of

[stanley-uris-offical]

...

okay yeah so have you ever watched IT-

[hateful-clown-offical]

nope

[stanley-uris-offical]

this blog is an offical of the character stan from it ^^ which has an

ominous clown in it to say the least

[hateful-clown-offical]

@satan-offical @offical-fanartist-offical

@7-eleven-offical @man-offical @james-offical @snail-official @purple-morphsuit-guy-offical @argon-offical @laffico-natas

@smol-gremlin-child-offical

@bread-offical

[stanley-uris-offical]

hmmm

nope, not doing that again

[hateful-clown-offical]

what

[stanley-uris-offical]

you heard me

ive had enough of one ominous clown for a lifetime

[hateful-clown-offical]

i have a sneaking suspicion there’s a reference here that im unaware of

[stanley-uris-offical]

...

okay yeah so have you ever watched IT-

[hateful-clown-offical]

@satan-offical @offical-fanartist-offical

@7-eleven-offical @man-offical @james-offical @snail-official @purple-morphsuit-guy-offical @argon-offical @laffico-natas

@smol-gremlin-child-offical

@bread-offical

[stanley-uris-offical]

hmmm

nope, not doing that again

[hateful-clown-offical]

what

[stanley-uris-offical]

you heard me

ive had enough of one ominous clown for a lifetime

[hateful-clown-offical]

@satan-offical @offical-fanartist-offical

@7-eleven-offical @man-offical @james-offical @snail-official @purple-morphsuit-guy-offical @argon-offical @laffico-natas

@smol-gremlin-child-offical

@bread-offical

[stanley-uris-offical]

hmmm

nope, not doing that again

[theo-decker-official]

@stanley-uris-offical it was really fun going birdwatching with you :) want to go to the movies? I checked out the theater, they're playing a few good things -- Top Gun, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Labyrinth. Mostly just popular stuff from a while ago, but I guess this is too small of a town for anything more than that? It's kind of a weird choice in movies but I guess small towns are just like that. I'm not sure what kinds of movies you like, do any of those sound cool?

[stanley-uris-offical]

Yeah! I enjoyed it too. I'd love to go to the movies with you.

Those are...all new movies, though. I'd know, Richie is really into that sort of thing. There's this new one called The Princess Bride that seems really cool, maybe if they're showing that we could go see it?

They're from like...a month ago? Sure Derry isn't the most up-to-date town, but it's pretty good with movies.

[theo-decker-official]

Okay, awesome.

Oh, yeah, the Princess Bride is a classic. My mom loved it. I'm not really a rom-com person, but Princess Bride is a lot of fun. You've never seen it? As you wish? It's pretty well-known, I feel like. The soundtrack's done by Mark Knopfler from Dire Straits. It's really good.

Stan, the Princess Bride is from the 80s. It's not... recent.

[stanley-uris-offical]

You and your mom went to see it? That's cool, my family don't really do theatres...

Wait- a "classic"? "Well known"? Theo it came out like- barely two weeks ago. I'd hardly call it a classic yet. Huh, I didn't know about the soundtrack guy.

...Yeah? Exactly. Why wouldn't it be-

...

Theo.

What...year is it?

[theo-decker-official]

We didn't see it in theaters, we watched it at home...

What do you mean, two weeks ago? It came out in 1987.

...

... It's 2008.

[stanley-uris-offical]

At home-?

...

Shit, Theo. No. It's, uhm...Theo, it's 1989. It's not...2008? Jeez...that's...holy shit, that's so far-

You're...it's 2008? For you?

[theo-decker-official]

What do you mean, it's 1989? Look, here, on my phone. August 21, 2008. Nice try.

I didn't think you were the kind of person to try to trick me like this. But if it was just a joke to you, that's fine.

[stanley-uris-offical]

...That's- what the fuck is that, that isn't a phone. Where's the cable? How did it...light up like that, it's not connected to anything?

I swear Theo, I'm not playing a trick. There's no joke. It's 1989. Look- come. See? Derry Town Fair, 1989. These posters have been all around town for weeks.

We can go to the library and look at one of the computers if you want, even. But I swear I'm not joking.

[theo-decker-official]

That doesn't make sense. Why do I have reception, then?

That doesn't make any sense. It's 2008, I swear.

[stanley-uris-offical]

I...don't know what that means-

Hey! I believe you. But right now you're in Derry, August 21st 1989.

But I don't doubt that for you, before this it was 2008. Even if that's...probably totally insane. I believe you.

[theo-decker-official]

It's how my phone is able to work. Unless there are somehow cell towers in 1989, I shouldn't be able to use my data, which basically lets me use this to talk to people. Boris and I have been able to text since we got here, which we wouldn't be able to do without reception.

So, somehow, I'm getting reception from 2008, but I'm in 1989? Or is this some kind of weird magic thing, like that evil clown and spider thing? Is this, like, time travel? I don't understand this. Why me? What is going on?

....

So you're... seriously from 1989?

[stanley-uris-offical]

...You and Boris "text"? What do you do with the text? What text is it? What?

That...makes more sense, but are you sure that's a phone? It's so small and flat...how do you speak into it? Where does your mouth go?

I don't...I'm not going to pretend like I know what the hell is going on. I don't think it could be IT, IT is asleep...maybe you just time travelled? Like the guy in that one movie? With the car? From a couple years ago?

...

Mhm. You're seriously from 2008...that's so cool. I bet you guys have like, flying cars. So the world didn't end in 2000?

[theo-decker-official]

It's like... calling, I guess? But you send written messages? It's kind of hard to explain. Here, look, I can send him something, and then he can write me back.

Yeah, it's a phone. It's more like a computer than a landline, though. It's like a really small computer that I can also call with. It's called a cell phone.

... Back to the Future? I don't have a DeLorean, though. Boris and I just.... woke up in Derry. We don't know how we got here. We thought it was that giant spider thing, but I don't think it was.

No, the world didn't end in 2000. And no one really thought it was going to, anyway. They just thought all the computers would shut down, because stuff was programmed for the years to start with 19, not 20. Only, like, hippies actually thought the world was going to end. And we don't have flying cars. We don't have a lot of the cool stuff people thought we were going to have. Life just... kind of went downhill. Attention is monetized and everyone is a slave to capitalism.

[stanley-uris-offical]

Woah...a tiny computer...and it's so fast, too. Like a digital, instant letter. That's so awesome. Weird, but awesome!

Yeah, that one. Back To The Future. Where he nearly fucks his mom? That's what Richie says, anyways, I haven't watched it since it came out...you just woke up here? Well, where did you wake up? That might help.

Really? Eddie's totally convinced it will. Although I'm not sure when I started treating Eddie's worries as valid things to think about. I guess the computer stuff kind of makes sense, though.

Huh. That seems...bleak. Can't say I'm surprised, though. Bill really wants to see a flying car someday. He'll be bummed.

What else do you have in the future? Surely there's something that's different from now?

[theo-decker-official]

Yeah, it's pretty cool, I guess.

Just... somewhere outside of town, I think. And then Boris and I walked into town, where I ran into you. It wasn't a very long walk, I don't think. I can't really remember.

Who's Eddie? And Richie? I don't think I've met either of them.

I don't think flying cars will happen. I mean, we already have planes. And a shocking amount of things rely on the highway system. It wouldn't really be worth it to make flying cars.

I mean, I don't know? We have streaming services and credit cards? A lot more of business is done online? Reagan fucked over the economy so bad that we still haven't recovered?

[stanley-uris-offical]

Hm...maybe you were at the Barrens? Were you in a forest type of area? Quite hilly?

They're my friends. I've known Richie since we were babies, he looks the spitting image of Boris. And Eddie's my little hypochondriac friend. He's quite loud. And shrill. But I love him anyways. He helped save my life and was gracious enough to calm me down when I was screaming my head off about it, so...

I guess not. But flying cars just seem so cool, don't you think? I'd love to fly up there at bird height. Drive along next to a flock of geese, that sort of thing.

Ooh, streaming services. What does that mean? Is it like, something about the water?

[theo-decker-official]

Yeah, that sounds like it...

Oh, I think I've seen the Boris one around. He was wearing something Boris would jump off a building before putting on, though. Who actually wears clothes like that anymore? ... oh, right, maybe it's in style right now.

I think you're describing planes.

No, it's like a service where you can watch TV whenever you want. Well, that's what it's supposed to be. It's kind of a new thing. Boris and I still just get VHS tapes. Also, I'm pretty sure you have to pay for streaming services.

[stanley-uris-offical]

Yeah, The Barrens. That might have been IT then. Or Maturin. Maturin might have done it.

Yep, that's Rich. He's convinced he has style. Even Ben can't find a way to agree with that one. If you ever saw a shorter kid following him, maybe yelling at him, wearing a fanny pack? That was Eddie.

Well, yeah, but planes fly way too high for birds. And they're really dangerous too. Flying cars would be cooler, cause then you could just fly with the birds. Like, right at their level, you know?

Oh, woah. Whenever you want? That's awesome. And VHS! I know what that is! We watch those all the time. Bill has one of The Goonies that we watch at every sleepover. And he just got the one of the new Indiana Jones. What's it...The Last Crusade? But that stream thing sounds so awesome...oh, I bet the future is going to be totally wicked.

[theo-decker-official]

I thought you said it wasn't It? It's the clown, right? What's Maturin? Why would either of those things put me here? How do we get back to our time?

You should introduce me to these guys sometime. They sound... interesting.

It's kind of wild to hear you talk about movies that are, like... movies everyone knows about in my time. Like, total classics. The kind of thing people won't watch because they're too old. Like Dead Poets Society -- has that one come out yet? It's kind of depressing, I think. Boris and I watched it after dropping acid this one time -- actually, you probably don't want to hear about that. Sorry.

Don't get your hopes up too much. There's a lot more tech, but I'm not so sure that's for the best.

[stanley-uris-offical]

It is the clown, yeah. And I doubt it was It, since It is asleep. A more likely case is that its Maturin.

Maturin is sort of It's older brother...? I think? I don't know. He talks to me sometimes. When I sleep. I don't know exactly how he's related to It, but he's basically the Universe? Or, well, he carries it on his back.

He's a turtle.

I don't know why he would have put you guys here, but Maturin always has a reason for things. I can try and ask him, but I have no guarantee he'll answer me.

And yeah, I'll introduce you to Richie and Eddie! They'll love you. Just try to ignore Richie's jokes. He gets a bit much. Eddie usually knows when to rein him in.

Total classics? Damn, way to make me feel like more of a grandpa than my friends already make me out to be. Surely people wouldn't stave off of a movie just because its too old? I watched The Good, The Bad and The Ugly a bit ago, and that's from the sixties. Why wouldn't people watch old movies?

Dead Poet's Society? That sounds depressing. Oh, wait- I think Mike mentioned it, actually. He said it made him cry and he needed to make Richie and Eddie watch it? For whatever reason?

I don't mind hearing your stories. I like hearing you talk.

Ehh, I guess so.

[theo-decker-official]

@stanley-uris-offical it was really fun going birdwatching with you :) want to go to the movies? I checked out the theater, they're playing a few good things -- Top Gun, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Labyrinth. Mostly just popular stuff from a while ago, but I guess this is too small of a town for anything more than that? It's kind of a weird choice in movies but I guess small towns are just like that. I'm not sure what kinds of movies you like, do any of those sound cool?

[stanley-uris-offical]

Yeah! I enjoyed it too. I'd love to go to the movies with you.

Those are...all new movies, though. I'd know, Richie is really into that sort of thing. There's this new one called The Princess Bride that seems really cool, maybe if they're showing that we could go see it?

They're from like...a month ago? Sure Derry isn't the most up-to-date town, but it's pretty good with movies.

[theo-decker-official]

Okay, awesome.

Oh, yeah, the Princess Bride is a classic. My mom loved it. I'm not really a rom-com person, but Princess Bride is a lot of fun. You've never seen it? As you wish? It's pretty well-known, I feel like. The soundtrack's done by Mark Knopfler from Dire Straits. It's really good.

Stan, the Princess Bride is from the 80s. It's not... recent.

[stanley-uris-offical]

You and your mom went to see it? That's cool, my family don't really do theatres...

Wait- a "classic"? "Well known"? Theo it came out like- barely two weeks ago. I'd hardly call it a classic yet. Huh, I didn't know about the soundtrack guy.

...Yeah? Exactly. Why wouldn't it be-

...

Theo.

What...year is it?

[theo-decker-official]

We didn't see it in theaters, we watched it at home...

What do you mean, two weeks ago? It came out in 1987.

...

... It's 2008.

[stanley-uris-offical]

At home-?

...

Shit, Theo. No. It's, uhm...Theo, it's 1989. It's not...2008? Jeez...that's...holy shit, that's so far-

You're...it's 2008? For you?

[theo-decker-official]

What do you mean, it's 1989? Look, here, on my phone. August 21, 2008. Nice try.

I didn't think you were the kind of person to try to trick me like this. But if it was just a joke to you, that's fine.

[stanley-uris-offical]

...That's- what the fuck is that, that isn't a phone. Where's the cable? How did it...light up like that, it's not connected to anything?

I swear Theo, I'm not playing a trick. There's no joke. It's 1989. Look- come. See? Derry Town Fair, 1989. These posters have been all around town for weeks.

We can go to the library and look at one of the computers if you want, even. But I swear I'm not joking.

[theo-decker-official]

That doesn't make sense. Why do I have reception, then?

That doesn't make any sense. It's 2008, I swear.

[stanley-uris-offical]

I...don't know what that means-

Hey! I believe you. But right now you're in Derry, August 21st 1989.

But I don't doubt that for you, before this it was 2008. Even if that's...probably totally insane. I believe you.

[theo-decker-official]

It's how my phone is able to work. Unless there are somehow cell towers in 1989, I shouldn't be able to use my data, which basically lets me use this to talk to people. Boris and I have been able to text since we got here, which we wouldn't be able to do without reception.

So, somehow, I'm getting reception from 2008, but I'm in 1989? Or is this some kind of weird magic thing, like that evil clown and spider thing? Is this, like, time travel? I don't understand this. Why me? What is going on?

....

So you're... seriously from 1989?

[stanley-uris-offical]

...You and Boris "text"? What do you do with the text? What text is it? What?

That...makes more sense, but are you sure that's a phone? It's so small and flat...how do you speak into it? Where does your mouth go?

I don't...I'm not going to pretend like I know what the hell is going on. I don't think it could be IT, IT is asleep...maybe you just time travelled? Like the guy in that one movie? With the car? From a couple years ago?

...

Mhm. You're seriously from 2008...that's so cool. I bet you guys have like, flying cars. So the world didn't end in 2000?

[theo-decker-official]

It's like... calling, I guess? But you send written messages? It's kind of hard to explain. Here, look, I can send him something, and then he can write me back.

Yeah, it's a phone. It's more like a computer than a landline, though. It's like a really small computer that I can also call with. It's called a cell phone.

... Back to the Future? I don't have a DeLorean, though. Boris and I just.... woke up in Derry. We don't know how we got here. We thought it was that giant spider thing, but I don't think it was.

No, the world didn't end in 2000. And no one really thought it was going to, anyway. They just thought all the computers would shut down, because stuff was programmed for the years to start with 19, not 20. Only, like, hippies actually thought the world was going to end. And we don't have flying cars. We don't have a lot of the cool stuff people thought we were going to have. Life just... kind of went downhill. Attention is monetized and everyone is a slave to capitalism.

[stanley-uris-offical]

Woah...a tiny computer...and it's so fast, too. Like a digital, instant letter. That's so awesome. Weird, but awesome!

Yeah, that one. Back To The Future. Where he nearly fucks his mom? That's what Richie says, anyways, I haven't watched it since it came out...you just woke up here? Well, where did you wake up? That might help.

Really? Eddie's totally convinced it will. Although I'm not sure when I started treating Eddie's worries as valid things to think about. I guess the computer stuff kind of makes sense, though.

Huh. That seems...bleak. Can't say I'm surprised, though. Bill really wants to see a flying car someday. He'll be bummed.

What else do you have in the future? Surely there's something that's different from now?

[theo-decker-official]

Yeah, it's pretty cool, I guess.

Just... somewhere outside of town, I think. And then Boris and I walked into town, where I ran into you. It wasn't a very long walk, I don't think. I can't really remember.

Who's Eddie? And Richie? I don't think I've met either of them.

I don't think flying cars will happen. I mean, we already have planes. And a shocking amount of things rely on the highway system. It wouldn't really be worth it to make flying cars.

I mean, I don't know? We have streaming services and credit cards? A lot more of business is done online? Reagan fucked over the economy so bad that we still haven't recovered?

[stanley-uris-offical]

Hm...maybe you were at the Barrens? Were you in a forest type of area? Quite hilly?

They're my friends. I've known Richie since we were babies, he looks the spitting image of Boris. And Eddie's my little hypochondriac friend. He's quite loud. And shrill. But I love him anyways. He helped save my life and was gracious enough to calm me down when I was screaming my head off about it, so...

I guess not. But flying cars just seem so cool, don't you think? I'd love to fly up there at bird height. Drive along next to a flock of geese, that sort of thing.

Ooh, streaming services. What does that mean? Is it like, something about the water?

[theo-decker-official]

Yeah, that sounds like it...

Oh, I think I've seen the Boris one around. He was wearing something Boris would jump off a building before putting on, though. Who actually wears clothes like that anymore? ... oh, right, maybe it's in style right now.

I think you're describing planes.

No, it's like a service where you can watch TV whenever you want. Well, that's what it's supposed to be. It's kind of a new thing. Boris and I still just get VHS tapes. Also, I'm pretty sure you have to pay for streaming services.

[stanley-uris-offical]

Yeah, The Barrens. That might have been IT then. Or Maturin. Maturin might have done it.

Yep, that's Rich. He's convinced he has style. Even Ben can't find a way to agree with that one. If you ever saw a shorter kid following him, maybe yelling at him, wearing a fanny pack? That was Eddie.

Well, yeah, but planes fly way too high for birds. And they're really dangerous too. Flying cars would be cooler, cause then you could just fly with the birds. Like, right at their level, you know?

Oh, woah. Whenever you want? That's awesome. And VHS! I know what that is! We watch those all the time. Bill has one of The Goonies that we watch at every sleepover. And he just got the one of the new Indiana Jones. What's it...The Last Crusade? But that stream thing sounds so awesome...oh, I bet the future is going to be totally wicked.

[theo-decker-official]

@stanley-uris-offical it was really fun going birdwatching with you :) want to go to the movies? I checked out the theater, they're playing a few good things -- Top Gun, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Labyrinth. Mostly just popular stuff from a while ago, but I guess this is too small of a town for anything more than that? It's kind of a weird choice in movies but I guess small towns are just like that. I'm not sure what kinds of movies you like, do any of those sound cool?

[stanley-uris-offical]

Yeah! I enjoyed it too. I'd love to go to the movies with you.

Those are...all new movies, though. I'd know, Richie is really into that sort of thing. There's this new one called The Princess Bride that seems really cool, maybe if they're showing that we could go see it?

They're from like...a month ago? Sure Derry isn't the most up-to-date town, but it's pretty good with movies.

[theo-decker-official]

Okay, awesome.

Oh, yeah, the Princess Bride is a classic. My mom loved it. I'm not really a rom-com person, but Princess Bride is a lot of fun. You've never seen it? As you wish? It's pretty well-known, I feel like. The soundtrack's done by Mark Knopfler from Dire Straits. It's really good.

Stan, the Princess Bride is from the 80s. It's not... recent.

[stanley-uris-offical]

You and your mom went to see it? That's cool, my family don't really do theatres...

Wait- a "classic"? "Well known"? Theo it came out like- barely two weeks ago. I'd hardly call it a classic yet. Huh, I didn't know about the soundtrack guy.

...Yeah? Exactly. Why wouldn't it be-

...

Theo.

What...year is it?

[theo-decker-official]

We didn't see it in theaters, we watched it at home...

What do you mean, two weeks ago? It came out in 1987.

...

... It's 2008.

[stanley-uris-offical]

At home-?

...

Shit, Theo. No. It's, uhm...Theo, it's 1989. It's not...2008? Jeez...that's...holy shit, that's so far-

You're...it's 2008? For you?

[theo-decker-official]

What do you mean, it's 1989? Look, here, on my phone. August 21, 2008. Nice try.

I didn't think you were the kind of person to try to trick me like this. But if it was just a joke to you, that's fine.

[stanley-uris-offical]

...That's- what the fuck is that, that isn't a phone. Where's the cable? How did it...light up like that, it's not connected to anything?

I swear Theo, I'm not playing a trick. There's no joke. It's 1989. Look- come. See? Derry Town Fair, 1989. These posters have been all around town for weeks.

We can go to the library and look at one of the computers if you want, even. But I swear I'm not joking.

[theo-decker-official]

That doesn't make sense. Why do I have reception, then?

That doesn't make any sense. It's 2008, I swear.

[stanley-uris-offical]

I...don't know what that means-

Hey! I believe you. But right now you're in Derry, August 21st 1989.

But I don't doubt that for you, before this it was 2008. Even if that's...probably totally insane. I believe you.

[theo-decker-official]

It's how my phone is able to work. Unless there are somehow cell towers in 1989, I shouldn't be able to use my data, which basically lets me use this to talk to people. Boris and I have been able to text since we got here, which we wouldn't be able to do without reception.

So, somehow, I'm getting reception from 2008, but I'm in 1989? Or is this some kind of weird magic thing, like that evil clown and spider thing? Is this, like, time travel? I don't understand this. Why me? What is going on?

....

So you're... seriously from 1989?

[stanley-uris-offical]

...You and Boris "text"? What do you do with the text? What text is it? What?

That...makes more sense, but are you sure that's a phone? It's so small and flat...how do you speak into it? Where does your mouth go?

I don't...I'm not going to pretend like I know what the hell is going on. I don't think it could be IT, IT is asleep...maybe you just time travelled? Like the guy in that one movie? With the car? From a couple years ago?

...

Mhm. You're seriously from 2008...that's so cool. I bet you guys have like, flying cars. So the world didn't end in 2000?

[theo-decker-official]

It's like... calling, I guess? But you send written messages? It's kind of hard to explain. Here, look, I can send him something, and then he can write me back.

Yeah, it's a phone. It's more like a computer than a landline, though. It's like a really small computer that I can also call with. It's called a cell phone.

... Back to the Future? I don't have a DeLorean, though. Boris and I just.... woke up in Derry. We don't know how we got here. We thought it was that giant spider thing, but I don't think it was.

No, the world didn't end in 2000. And no one really thought it was going to, anyway. They just thought all the computers would shut down, because stuff was programmed for the years to start with 19, not 20. Only, like, hippies actually thought the world was going to end. And we don't have flying cars. We don't have a lot of the cool stuff people thought we were going to have. Life just... kind of went downhill. Attention is monetized and everyone is a slave to capitalism.

[stanley-uris-offical]

Woah...a tiny computer...and it's so fast, too. Like a digital, instant letter. That's so awesome. Weird, but awesome!

Yeah, that one. Back To The Future. Where he nearly fucks his mom? That's what Richie says, anyways, I haven't watched it since it came out...you just woke up here? Well, where did you wake up? That might help.

Really? Eddie's totally convinced it will. Although I'm not sure when I started treating Eddie's worries as valid things to think about. I guess the computer stuff kind of makes sense, though.

Huh. That seems...bleak. Can't say I'm surprised, though. Bill really wants to see a flying car someday. He'll be bummed.

What else do you have in the future? Surely there's something that's different from now?

[theo-decker-official]

Yeah, it's pretty cool, I guess.

Just... somewhere outside of town, I think. And then Boris and I walked into town, where I ran into you. It wasn't a very long walk, I don't think. I can't really remember.

Who's Eddie? And Richie? I don't think I've met either of them.

I don't think flying cars will happen. I mean, we already have planes. And a shocking amount of things rely on the highway system. It wouldn't really be worth it to make flying cars.

I mean, I don't know? We have streaming services and credit cards? A lot more of business is done online? Reagan fucked over the economy so bad that we still haven't recovered?

[stanley-uris-offical]

Hm...maybe you were at the Barrens? Were you in a forest type of area? Quite hilly?

They're my friends. I've known Richie since we were babies, he looks the spitting image of Boris. And Eddie's my little hypochondriac friend. He's quite loud. And shrill. But I love him anyways. He helped save my life and was gracious enough to calm me down when I was screaming my head off about it, so...

I guess not. But flying cars just seem so cool, don't you think? I'd love to fly up there at bird height. Drive along next to a flock of geese, that sort of thing.

Ooh, streaming services. What does that mean? Is it like, something about the water?

[theo-decker-official]

@stanley-uris-offical it was really fun going birdwatching with you :) want to go to the movies? I checked out the theater, they're playing a few good things -- Top Gun, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Labyrinth. Mostly just popular stuff from a while ago, but I guess this is too small of a town for anything more than that? It's kind of a weird choice in movies but I guess small towns are just like that. I'm not sure what kinds of movies you like, do any of those sound cool?

[stanley-uris-offical]

Yeah! I enjoyed it too. I'd love to go to the movies with you.

Those are...all new movies, though. I'd know, Richie is really into that sort of thing. There's this new one called The Princess Bride that seems really cool, maybe if they're showing that we could go see it?

They're from like...a month ago? Sure Derry isn't the most up-to-date town, but it's pretty good with movies.

[theo-decker-official]

Okay, awesome.

Oh, yeah, the Princess Bride is a classic. My mom loved it. I'm not really a rom-com person, but Princess Bride is a lot of fun. You've never seen it? As you wish? It's pretty well-known, I feel like. The soundtrack's done by Mark Knopfler from Dire Straits. It's really good.

Stan, the Princess Bride is from the 80s. It's not... recent.

[stanley-uris-offical]

You and your mom went to see it? That's cool, my family don't really do theatres...

Wait- a "classic"? "Well known"? Theo it came out like- barely two weeks ago. I'd hardly call it a classic yet. Huh, I didn't know about the soundtrack guy.

...Yeah? Exactly. Why wouldn't it be-

...

Theo.

What...year is it?

[theo-decker-official]

We didn't see it in theaters, we watched it at home...

What do you mean, two weeks ago? It came out in 1987.

...

... It's 2008.

[stanley-uris-offical]

At home-?

...

Shit, Theo. No. It's, uhm...Theo, it's 1989. It's not...2008? Jeez...that's...holy shit, that's so far-

You're...it's 2008? For you?

[theo-decker-official]

What do you mean, it's 1989? Look, here, on my phone. August 21, 2008. Nice try.

I didn't think you were the kind of person to try to trick me like this. But if it was just a joke to you, that's fine.

[stanley-uris-offical]

...That's- what the fuck is that, that isn't a phone. Where's the cable? How did it...light up like that, it's not connected to anything?

I swear Theo, I'm not playing a trick. There's no joke. It's 1989. Look- come. See? Derry Town Fair, 1989. These posters have been all around town for weeks.

We can go to the library and look at one of the computers if you want, even. But I swear I'm not joking.

[theo-decker-official]

That doesn't make sense. Why do I have reception, then?

That doesn't make any sense. It's 2008, I swear.

[stanley-uris-offical]

I...don't know what that means-

Hey! I believe you. But right now you're in Derry, August 21st 1989.

But I don't doubt that for you, before this it was 2008. Even if that's...probably totally insane. I believe you.

[theo-decker-official]

It's how my phone is able to work. Unless there are somehow cell towers in 1989, I shouldn't be able to use my data, which basically lets me use this to talk to people. Boris and I have been able to text since we got here, which we wouldn't be able to do without reception.

So, somehow, I'm getting reception from 2008, but I'm in 1989? Or is this some kind of weird magic thing, like that evil clown and spider thing? Is this, like, time travel? I don't understand this. Why me? What is going on?

....

So you're... seriously from 1989?

[stanley-uris-offical]

...You and Boris "text"? What do you do with the text? What text is it? What?

That...makes more sense, but are you sure that's a phone? It's so small and flat...how do you speak into it? Where does your mouth go?

I don't...I'm not going to pretend like I know what the hell is going on. I don't think it could be IT, IT is asleep...maybe you just time travelled? Like the guy in that one movie? With the car? From a couple years ago?

...

Mhm. You're seriously from 2008...that's so cool. I bet you guys have like, flying cars. So the world didn't end in 2000?

[theo-decker-official]

It's like... calling, I guess? But you send written messages? It's kind of hard to explain. Here, look, I can send him something, and then he can write me back.

Yeah, it's a phone. It's more like a computer than a landline, though. It's like a really small computer that I can also call with. It's called a cell phone.

... Back to the Future? I don't have a DeLorean, though. Boris and I just.... woke up in Derry. We don't know how we got here. We thought it was that giant spider thing, but I don't think it was.

No, the world didn't end in 2000. And no one really thought it was going to, anyway. They just thought all the computers would shut down, because stuff was programmed for the years to start with 19, not 20. Only, like, hippies actually thought the world was going to end. And we don't have flying cars. We don't have a lot of the cool stuff people thought we were going to have. Life just... kind of went downhill. Attention is monetized and everyone is a slave to capitalism.

[stanley-uris-offical]

Woah...a tiny computer...and it's so fast, too. Like a digital, instant letter. That's so awesome. Weird, but awesome!

Yeah, that one. Back To The Future. Where he nearly fucks his mom? That's what Richie says, anyways, I haven't watched it since it came out...you just woke up here? Well, where did you wake up? That might help.

Really? Eddie's totally convinced it will. Although I'm not sure when I started treating Eddie's worries as valid things to think about. I guess the computer stuff kind of makes sense, though.

Huh. That seems...bleak. Can't say I'm surprised, though. Bill really wants to see a flying car someday. He'll be bummed.

What else do you have in the future? Surely there's something that's different from now?

[theo-decker-official]

@stanley-uris-offical it was really fun going birdwatching with you :) want to go to the movies? I checked out the theater, they're playing a few good things -- Top Gun, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Labyrinth. Mostly just popular stuff from a while ago, but I guess this is too small of a town for anything more than that? It's kind of a weird choice in movies but I guess small towns are just like that. I'm not sure what kinds of movies you like, do any of those sound cool?

[stanley-uris-offical]

Yeah! I enjoyed it too. I'd love to go to the movies with you.

Those are...all new movies, though. I'd know, Richie is really into that sort of thing. There's this new one called The Princess Bride that seems really cool, maybe if they're showing that we could go see it?

They're from like...a month ago? Sure Derry isn't the most up-to-date town, but it's pretty good with movies.

[theo-decker-official]

Okay, awesome.

Oh, yeah, the Princess Bride is a classic. My mom loved it. I'm not really a rom-com person, but Princess Bride is a lot of fun. You've never seen it? As you wish? It's pretty well-known, I feel like. The soundtrack's done by Mark Knopfler from Dire Straits. It's really good.

Stan, the Princess Bride is from the 80s. It's not... recent.

[stanley-uris-offical]

You and your mom went to see it? That's cool, my family don't really do theatres...

Wait- a "classic"? "Well known"? Theo it came out like- barely two weeks ago. I'd hardly call it a classic yet. Huh, I didn't know about the soundtrack guy.

...Yeah? Exactly. Why wouldn't it be-

...

Theo.

What...year is it?

[theo-decker-official]

We didn't see it in theaters, we watched it at home...

What do you mean, two weeks ago? It came out in 1987.

...

... It's 2008.

[stanley-uris-offical]

At home-?

...

Shit, Theo. No. It's, uhm...Theo, it's 1989. It's not...2008? Jeez...that's...holy shit, that's so far-

You're...it's 2008? For you?

[theo-decker-official]

What do you mean, it's 1989? Look, here, on my phone. August 21, 2008. Nice try.

I didn't think you were the kind of person to try to trick me like this. But if it was just a joke to you, that's fine.

[stanley-uris-offical]

...That's- what the fuck is that, that isn't a phone. Where's the cable? How did it...light up like that, it's not connected to anything?

I swear Theo, I'm not playing a trick. There's no joke. It's 1989. Look- come. See? Derry Town Fair, 1989. These posters have been all around town for weeks.

We can go to the library and look at one of the computers if you want, even. But I swear I'm not joking.

[theo-decker-official]

That doesn't make sense. Why do I have reception, then?

That doesn't make any sense. It's 2008, I swear.

[stanley-uris-offical]

I...don't know what that means-

Hey! I believe you. But right now you're in Derry, August 21st 1989.

But I don't doubt that for you, before this it was 2008. Even if that's...probably totally insane. I believe you.

[theo-decker-official]

It's how my phone is able to work. Unless there are somehow cell towers in 1989, I shouldn't be able to use my data, which basically lets me use this to talk to people. Boris and I have been able to text since we got here, which we wouldn't be able to do without reception.

So, somehow, I'm getting reception from 2008, but I'm in 1989? Or is this some kind of weird magic thing, like that evil clown and spider thing? Is this, like, time travel? I don't understand this. Why me? What is going on?

....

So you're... seriously from 1989?

[stanley-uris-offical]

...You and Boris "text"? What do you do with the text? What text is it? What?

That...makes more sense, but are you sure that's a phone? It's so small and flat...how do you speak into it? Where does your mouth go?

I don't...I'm not going to pretend like I know what the hell is going on. I don't think it could be IT, IT is asleep...maybe you just time travelled? Like the guy in that one movie? With the car? From a couple years ago?

...

Mhm. You're seriously from 2008...that's so cool. I bet you guys have like, flying cars. So the world didn't end in 2000?

[theo-decker-official]

@stanley-uris-offical it was really fun going birdwatching with you :) want to go to the movies? I checked out the theater, they're playing a few good things -- Top Gun, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Labyrinth. Mostly just popular stuff from a while ago, but I guess this is too small of a town for anything more than that? It's kind of a weird choice in movies but I guess small towns are just like that. I'm not sure what kinds of movies you like, do any of those sound cool?

[stanley-uris-offical]

Yeah! I enjoyed it too. I'd love to go to the movies with you.

Those are...all new movies, though. I'd know, Richie is really into that sort of thing. There's this new one called The Princess Bride that seems really cool, maybe if they're showing that we could go see it?

They're from like...a month ago? Sure Derry isn't the most up-to-date town, but it's pretty good with movies.

[theo-decker-official]

Okay, awesome.

Oh, yeah, the Princess Bride is a classic. My mom loved it. I'm not really a rom-com person, but Princess Bride is a lot of fun. You've never seen it? As you wish? It's pretty well-known, I feel like. The soundtrack's done by Mark Knopfler from Dire Straits. It's really good.

Stan, the Princess Bride is from the 80s. It's not... recent.

[stanley-uris-offical]

You and your mom went to see it? That's cool, my family don't really do theatres...

Wait- a "classic"? "Well known"? Theo it came out like- barely two weeks ago. I'd hardly call it a classic yet. Huh, I didn't know about the soundtrack guy.

...Yeah? Exactly. Why wouldn't it be-

...

Theo.

What...year is it?

[theo-decker-official]

We didn't see it in theaters, we watched it at home...

What do you mean, two weeks ago? It came out in 1987.

...

... It's 2008.

[stanley-uris-offical]

At home-?

...

Shit, Theo. No. It's, uhm...Theo, it's 1989. It's not...2008? Jeez...that's...holy shit, that's so far-

You're...it's 2008? For you?

[theo-decker-official]

What do you mean, it's 1989? Look, here, on my phone. August 21, 2008. Nice try.

I didn't think you were the kind of person to try to trick me like this. But if it was just a joke to you, that's fine.

[stanley-uris-offical]

...That's- what the fuck is that, that isn't a phone. Where's the cable? How did it...light up like that, it's not connected to anything?

I swear Theo, I'm not playing a trick. There's no joke. It's 1989. Look- come. See? Derry Town Fair, 1989. These posters have been all around town for weeks.

We can go to the library and look at one of the computers if you want, even. But I swear I'm not joking.

[theo-decker-official]

That doesn't make sense. Why do I have reception, then?

That doesn't make any sense. It's 2008, I swear.

[stanley-uris-offical]

I...don't know what that means-

Hey! I believe you. But right now you're in Derry, August 21st 1989.

But I don't doubt that for you, before this it was 2008. Even if that's...probably totally insane. I believe you.

[theo-decker-official]

@stanley-uris-offical it was really fun going birdwatching with you :) want to go to the movies? I checked out the theater, they're playing a few good things -- Top Gun, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Labyrinth. Mostly just popular stuff from a while ago, but I guess this is too small of a town for anything more than that? It's kind of a weird choice in movies but I guess small towns are just like that. I'm not sure what kinds of movies you like, do any of those sound cool?

[stanley-uris-offical]

Yeah! I enjoyed it too. I'd love to go to the movies with you.

Those are...all new movies, though. I'd know, Richie is really into that sort of thing. There's this new one called The Princess Bride that seems really cool, maybe if they're showing that we could go see it?

They're from like...a month ago? Sure Derry isn't the most up-to-date town, but it's pretty good with movies.

[theo-decker-official]

Okay, awesome.

Oh, yeah, the Princess Bride is a classic. My mom loved it. I'm not really a rom-com person, but Princess Bride is a lot of fun. You've never seen it? As you wish? It's pretty well-known, I feel like. The soundtrack's done by Mark Knopfler from Dire Straits. It's really good.

Stan, the Princess Bride is from the 80s. It's not... recent.

[stanley-uris-offical]

You and your mom went to see it? That's cool, my family don't really do theatres...

Wait- a "classic"? "Well known"? Theo it came out like- barely two weeks ago. I'd hardly call it a classic yet. Huh, I didn't know about the soundtrack guy.

...Yeah? Exactly. Why wouldn't it be-

...

Theo.

What...year is it?

[theo-decker-official]

We didn't see it in theaters, we watched it at home...

What do you mean, two weeks ago? It came out in 1987.

...

... It's 2008.

[stanley-uris-offical]

At home-?

...

Shit, Theo. No. It's, uhm...Theo, it's 1989. It's not...2008? Jeez...that's...holy shit, that's so far-

You're...it's 2008? For you?

[theo-decker-official]

What do you mean, it's 1989? Look, here, on my phone. August 21, 2008. Nice try.

I didn't think you were the kind of person to try to trick me like this. But if it was just a joke to you, that's fine.

[stanley-uris-offical]

...That's- what the fuck is that, that isn't a phone. Where's the cable? How did it...light up like that, it's not connected to anything?

I swear Theo, I'm not playing a trick. There's no joke. It's 1989. Look- come. See? Derry Town Fair, 1989. These posters have been all around town for weeks.

We can go to the library and look at one of the computers if you want, even. But I swear I'm not joking.

[theo-decker-official]

@stanley-uris-offical it was really fun going birdwatching with you :) want to go to the movies? I checked out the theater, they're playing a few good things -- Top Gun, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Labyrinth. Mostly just popular stuff from a while ago, but I guess this is too small of a town for anything more than that? It's kind of a weird choice in movies but I guess small towns are just like that. I'm not sure what kinds of movies you like, do any of those sound cool?

[stanley-uris-offical]

Yeah! I enjoyed it too. I'd love to go to the movies with you.

Those are...all new movies, though. I'd know, Richie is really into that sort of thing. There's this new one called The Princess Bride that seems really cool, maybe if they're showing that we could go see it?

They're from like...a month ago? Sure Derry isn't the most up-to-date town, but it's pretty good with movies.

[theo-decker-official]

Okay, awesome.

Oh, yeah, the Princess Bride is a classic. My mom loved it. I'm not really a rom-com person, but Princess Bride is a lot of fun. You've never seen it? As you wish? It's pretty well-known, I feel like. The soundtrack's done by Mark Knopfler from Dire Straits. It's really good.

Stan, the Princess Bride is from the 80s. It's not... recent.

[stanley-uris-offical]

You and your mom went to see it? That's cool, my family don't really do theatres...

Wait- a "classic"? "Well known"? Theo it came out like- barely two weeks ago. I'd hardly call it a classic yet. Huh, I didn't know about the soundtrack guy.

...Yeah? Exactly. Why wouldn't it be-

...

Theo.

What...year is it?

[theo-decker-official]

We didn't see it in theaters, we watched it at home...

What do you mean, two weeks ago? It came out in 1987.

...

... It's 2008.

[stanley-uris-offical]

At home-?

...

Shit, Theo. No. It's, uhm...Theo, it's 1989. It's not...2008? Jeez...that's...holy shit, that's so far-

You're...it's 2008? For you?

[theo-decker-official]

@stanley-uris-offical it was really fun going birdwatching with you :) want to go to the movies? I checked out the theater, they're playing a few good things -- Top Gun, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Labyrinth. Mostly just popular stuff from a while ago, but I guess this is too small of a town for anything more than that? It's kind of a weird choice in movies but I guess small towns are just like that. I'm not sure what kinds of movies you like, do any of those sound cool?

[stanley-uris-offical]

Yeah! I enjoyed it too. I'd love to go to the movies with you.

Those are...all new movies, though. I'd know, Richie is really into that sort of thing. There's this new one called The Princess Bride that seems really cool, maybe if they're showing that we could go see it?

They're from like...a month ago? Sure Derry isn't the most up-to-date town, but it's pretty good with movies.

[theo-decker-official]

Okay, awesome.

Oh, yeah, the Princess Bride is a classic. My mom loved it. I'm not really a rom-com person, but Princess Bride is a lot of fun. You've never seen it? As you wish? It's pretty well-known, I feel like. The soundtrack's done by Mark Knopfler from Dire Straits. It's really good.

Stan, the Princess Bride is from the 80s. It's not... recent.

[stanley-uris-offical]

You and your mom went to see it? That's cool, my family don't really do theatres...

Wait- a "classic"? "Well known"? Theo it came out like- barely two weeks ago. I'd hardly call it a classic yet. Huh, I didn't know about the soundtrack guy.

...Yeah? Exactly. Why wouldn't it be-

...

Theo.

What...year is it?