[star-allos]

Being aro and taking those personality quizzes that inevitably ask about love and having to pick the edgiest answer because there’s nothing that’s just like ‘this is nonapplicable’ reblog if you agree

[incompetentmedic]

Uquiz answer be like

• My entire purpose in life is getting married

• I’m too scawwed & shy to get married uwu

• I’m to busy burning orphanages and polluting rivers too deal with love.

and they will see absolutely nothing wrong with it

[star-allos]

Amatonormativity is one HELL of a trip, friends.

[aspec-friendly-uquiz]

Hi, sorry to hijack your post, but I made this blog to collect uQuizzes that don’t force you to answer questions about romance (or sex)

[star-allos]

Don't apologize! Y'all go check them out!

[star-allos]

might move this blog or remake still undecided

[star-allos]

Special shout out to aros who don’t like the color green actually.

[star-allos]

Anyways sorry for the flag spam, back to the regular schedule

[star-allos]

Alternate Apothiromantic Flag

Meanings:

Green is the opposite of red and pink, which are colors typically associated with romance, and thus the rejection of those things. It is also represents healing from the shame we often feel as romance repulsed people

The off-white represents being considered ‘off’ or unusual, while the circle represents wholeness in spite of that.

Brown represents strength in the face of relentless romance, in our independence as people rejecting things that even resemble romance, and peace with one’s own romance repulsion.

[star-allos]

Proposed Term & Flag: Polynonamorous

Definition: Someone who, for whatever reason, identifies both as polyamorous and nonamorous.

The colors are blends of this polyamorous flag and of this nonamorous flag. Their meanings as a result can incorporate the meanings of their original flags’s colors (at the person’s discretion; the other flags meanings can be found by clicking the links above), and has these additional core meanings:

Dark Navy: Defiance of norms, both within society at large and within the polyamorous and nonamorous communities, with a reminder of those most impacted by breaking those norms

Taupe: Peace of mind and self acceptance

Dandelion: Vibrancy and resilience

Slate: Embracing freedom and the pursuit of what we independently value

[star-allos]

Proposed Nonamorous Flag

Colors are borrowed from this nonamorous flag, while the format is borrowed from this polyamorous flag. Meaning is derived from both. Indigo: Integrity in spite of societal pressure, particularly those who are most hurt by those expectations, which touches every other aspect of the flag’s meaning

Turquoise: Healing, self-sufficiency, and community, rejection of the idea of being ‘incomplete’.

Amber: Chasing joy, independence, and confidence in our non-monogamy and in ourselves.

Magenta: Compassion, harmony, and solidarity, both within our own lives, our own community, and other communities that feel the pressures of an amatonormative society

[charlieism]

can we pour one out for aromantic people who arent asexual

[lil-aro]

[star-allos]

“ yeah i think labels cause more problems than they solve. yeah i want to keep coming up with more labels to describe myself. we exist” - A good friend of mine

Hello aspecs who aren’t strictly aro and/or ace! Ever feel alienated by the split between alloromantic-aromantic and allosexual-asexual? Ever feel like you place on the spectrum is a thing all of its own, rather than having to pick a ‘side’? Thought of the non-sam or neu label but found it limiting to omit their sexual and/or romantic orientation? Well, as someone who’s sexuality, no matter how limited, is deeply important to me, and who is tired of swapping between the labels of non-sam, aroallo, and angled aroace, I decided to coin my own terms! Maybe a community will arise from this, because I know I’m not the only one who feels weird about the divide, and who have not found comfort in the terms neu or non-sam, and perhaps dialogue can arise from that.

ANYHOW. The flags are all amalgations of the aroace flag by @aroaesflags​  In place of the orange (community and union) and yellow (forms of love outside of sex and romance) are shades of green for aromantism and purple for asexuality, the multiple shades representing community and diversity among aromantics and asexuals. The middle flag uses shades of grey in place of yellow and orange. The term grey is used for those who find themselves in between a lack of and presence of attraction (greysexual, greyromantic). As the blues represent a combination of asexuality and aromantism, those remain present, as does the white stripe for unity.

Aromid - Someone who is strictly aromantic, but not strictly asexual, while still being on the asexual spectrum. Alternatively, someone who is strictly aromantic, but not strictly asexual or allosexual.

Amid - Someone who isn’t strictly aromantic or asexual, but on the spectrum of both asexuality and aromantism. Alternatively, someone who is not strictly asexual, aromantic, allosexual, or alloromantic.

Acemid - Someone who is strictly asexual, but not strictly aromantic, while still being on the aromantic spectrum. Alternatively, someone who is strictly asexual, but not strictly aromantic or strictly alloromantic. EDIT: Slight additions to the definitions to adhere to different experiences/be more inclusive.

[star-allos]

I've been getting a lot of asks/DMs about it so I want to put it put there: If you want to use these labels for whatever reason, even if they're not exactly 101% accurate, or you want to use one of these labels over the other despite the other being technically more accurate, you can just. Do it. You don't need my permission. You don't need my validation. You don't need to explain yourself to me. I'm not about label policing. If it helps you better understand yourself or you resonate with it just. Go for it, y'know? These might be labels I coined, but they don't belong to me. You don't need to ask my permission to use them. They're for anyone who resonates with them, even if for reasons I don't understand.

[star-allos]

Hi, I have a question! Okay so I’m strictly aroace (and am non-sam) but am still on the spectrum(s) (I use labels that help me describe/understand my aroace-ness better) could I call myself amid (or AYmid-I love that for me lol) even with all of that?

Hi there! I'm a little confused by this ask (especially by being nonsam and aroace since being nonsam typically means you don't use the split attraction model and thus identify/disclose only that you're aro or only that you're ace, unless I'm misunderstanding; I'd love for you to explain if you're comfortable DMing me). From what I'm understanding, you're both strictly aro and strictly ace, but you use microlabels to further explain your aromanticism and asexuality. Am I understanding correctly?

Ultimately, I coined the term specifically for people who had a problem with the dichotomy of being a/allo but for whom what little attraction they did feel was important enough that going nonsam wasn't right either. It was a label coined specifically for people who felt torn between labels such as aroace, aroallo, and/or alloace, both to give myself a better descriptor and to connect to others with a similar situation. If you are strictly aro and strictly ace and feel completely at home with the label aroace, the label was not made for people like you in mind.

WITH THAT SAID, I am against label policing. If you want to call yourself amid, if it makes sense to YOU to use the label, if gives you a better understanding of yourself, go for it! Labels are for you to understand yourself first and for others second.

[star-allos]

Since I'm tired of DMing people all the time about this, gonna make a post about it.

💚 Aromanticism is not a subset of asexuality. You can be aro and not ace. My blog, while for all aros, has a special focus on aros who aren't ace.

🤍 Tagging posts explicitly about aromanticism and not asexuality as asexuality/asexual/ace/etc, especially while not tagging them as aromanticism/aromantic/aro/etc, contributes to aro erasure and the idea that aromantics are inherently asexual, and is incredibly tone deaf when you consider the audience of this blog.

🖤 Using my my posts about aromanticism, especially when most of my posts are targeted towards nonace aros, to talk about asexuality without making meaningful additions, is derailing. For example: Using a general post about amatonormativity to share your experiences is one thing and probably okay. Using a post telling bisexual aros that they don't need to feel bad for their sexual attraction and that they aren't feeding into stereotypes by living as their authentic selves to talk about your troubled dating experience as a biromantic ace and how frustrated you are with the expectations of sex people have of bi folks is another and very tone deaf. Don't get me wrong, that is a genuine issue and one you should absolutely talk about, but maybe not on that post.

Please stop doing this. It's fine if you as an ace relate to a post, but please be mindful about how you're engaging with aro content. Please stop centering yourselves around our discussions. Your struggles and issues are valid and many of them overlap, but please please PLEASE be careful that you are actually relating to us or boosting our voices rather than speaking over us.

TL;DR - Aro is not the same as ace. Stop tagging aro content as ace. Stop derailing posts about aromanticism, especially those by nonace aros, to talk about asexuality. Please be mindful of how you engage with aro content.

[aromantic-in-distress]

PSA

"Non-ace aro" doesn't necessarily mean alloaro

It includes alloaros but the term doesn't mean just alloaro.

Don't forget about non-sam aros, aromids and others aros who don't ID as alloaro or aroace.

I've been seeing "non-ace aro" to mean "alloaro" in quite a few posts now.

Please don't forget us.

[aromantic-in-distress]

@ibdora Non-sam aros refer to people who are "just aro". They don't define their sexuality.

Aromids refer to strictly aromantic people who are somewhere on the ace spectrum, but may not consider themselves fully ace.

[ID: tumblr user ibdora says: "Aromids? Sam-aros? What are those" End ID]

Any aromids feel free to correct me if my definition is incorrect.

[aromantic-in-distress]

[ID: tumblr user yanderehiro says: "Okay these words are nothing I have yet heard of, I only know of aro and ace, perhaps aroace. End ID]

Hi @yanderehiro ! As I stated before, non sam aros are aros who don't define their sexuality. Some non sam aros refer to themselves as "just aro"

Aromids refer to strictly aro people (no romantic attraction at all) who are technically somewhere on the ace spectrum but may not consider themselves fully asexual.

(sorry for the tag, but) @star-allos has more information. I believed they coined to term.

Thanks for reaching out!

[star-allos]

No worries about the tag! I am the person who coined the term, correct. It can also refer to someone strictly aromantic who does not consider themself either allosexual or asexual as well (another term this falls under is arohaze). It (and its sister terms, acemid and amid) was a term coined for those who felt uncomfortable with the a/allo dichtomy for part(s) of their orientation but for whom their limited attraction still matters a lot to them, and thus the non sam aro label isn’t quite right for them either.

If you have any questions I’m happy to answer!

[star-allos]

Hey polyam mspec aros! *Puts a piece of candy of your choice in your palm*

I know it can be tough, feeling like you're giving mspec and polyam folk a bad name for 'falling into stereotypes' due to your aromanticism. You're not at fault for those stereotypes existing, nor do you hurt anyone by existing as you do; you're simply living as your authentic self, and that's to be celebrated! You're a valuable part of both communities, your unique perspective and experiences is a good thing, and if you haven't found peace with yourself and your identity yet, I hope you do soon.

Keep smiling!

[star-allos]

Aros with a complicated relationship to love are like. I love love. I hate love. I am ambivalent towards love. I am full of love. I am at war with love. I don’t love at all. There is joy in the word love. There is pain in the word love. I am reclaiming what love means to me. Love will never feel at home on my lips. What IS love? Baby don’t hurt me. Don’t hurt me. No more.

[star-allos]

Shout out to aros with a really weird relationship to the concept of love that don't quite fit into labels like loveless or lovequeer. I think we're neat.

[aromanticjim]

Coming from your aro buddy here. It’s going to be okay if you discovered that you are aromantic. It will be okay. Even if you’re 100% sure that you are. I know that not all of you are feeling comforted by realizing you’re aro- and why wouldn’t some of us be unhappy? Society puts so much pressure on youth to seek out love and emphasizes so much that romantic love is what makes us human, that its easy to forget that its possible to be happy without it. Its easy to slip into the mindset that you are either never going to be happy, or that you are not human at all.

You can be happy without it. Its possible to live a meaningful life without a romantic partner. And you don’t need a romantic partner to know that you are not alone. 

[arosuggestions]

Aros shouldn’t have to have a QPP to be palatable. Having a partner shouldn’t be seen as a redeeming quality, because there’s nothing to redeem in the first place. Aromanticism is important. We’re good enough with or without a partner.