The Prophet of the Star

Streamer, Writer, Salesman, Hilariously Amateur Artiste, Doggo Connoisseur, knower of things, and Dashingly Handsome Gentleman.

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I know Ed’s mouth is moving, but it’s totally the milk saying that line.

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Hachigatsu no Cinderella Nine is a waifu-spam dating sim adaptation about a high school baseball team.  More than half of that sentence is an instant dealbreaker, not even counting the random “Cinderella” in the title.

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Fairy Gone is diet Youjo Senki with no isekai angle, annoying characters, shit animation, stand knockoffs they call “fairies” because names are hard, and significant CG.

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Kono Oto Tomare! is a pretty generic high school music club show that I could never hope to take seriously because of the pathetic MC, contrived-ass plot, and cliche bullies, much less with the constant distraction of whatever that thing they’re playing is.  It’s absolutely ridiculous, who designed it?  That thing is the pug of musical instruments and I want one. It sounds cool.  Which I only know from googling as there was not a single note in the entire episode, even during the requisite “first time he heard it” flashback.

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Good premises are nice and all, and the premise of Shoumetsu Toshi is that a city got nuked and everyone came back as wayward stands, but it definitely falls off in the “everything fucking else” department.  The characters have like a trait and a half between them, the explanation is once again that some lab coat-wearing fucks cared more about science™ than humanity, their idea of suspense is doing the offscreen gunshot gag 3 times in one episode, it looks like it was drawn by a DeviantArtist, and episode 3 is about a time loop they solve by having a side character (whose name is “geek”) inspire some random idol.

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Mayonaka no Occult Koumuin is basically diet kekkai sensen with no action.  Also the first plot they went for was Romeo & Juliet, so I really don’t expect much.  

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You know how sometimes when the author can’t get the story to a beach or hot spring in time so they just have the main character walk in on a girl changing, or fall into her tits, or some equally stupid bullshit?  Nande Koko ni Sensei ga!? Is just that.  The whole time.

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Bokutachi wa Benkyou ga Dekinai (we never learn) is a show about a poor kid tutoring dumbasses that basically only exists to draft waifus for the waifu war. I guess the gimmick is that they’re not all quintuplets this time, very clever.  The main character’s personality is literally just “hardworking, slightly-above-average high school kid”, and his harem contains both a little sister and childhood friend simultaneously.  In the span of one episode he walks in on a girl dressing, visits a sick girl only to get sick himself, pretends to be a couple with another girl, and misses so many obvious symbols a therapist would declare him legally gay.  At one point a child points at people in public and says “look, a couple”, because there is apparently a child alive that would give a damn. Also, they put an after-credits scene in episode 1 that was just 80% ass shot.  It’s complete fucking trash, as am I for watching it.

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Joshikusei is a high school comedy show with no dialog.  Half of the plot is just "look at this girl’s thighs!”, and the audio is 99% cute girl noises. It also has a few cuts literally out of order, because quality checking 3 minutes of thicc Charlie Chaplin is just too monumental a task.

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Chou Kadou Girl ⅙ is the story of a man whose first line is “I have no interest in 3D women!” and his figurine thatwants to be a real girl.  Which would all be sad enough even if that line wasn’t the start of an unfunny monologue that lasted for about a third of the show and ended with him trying to strip her.

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Nobunaga-sensei no Osanazuma is what is apparently called an “age difference love comedy”.  The first scene is the main character (a middle school teacher) being jealous over a middle school boy, because he was dating a middle school girl.  The overall plot is that a 14-year-old came from a time where underaged marriage is okay, specifically to try and fuck the main character.  She has already gotten naked.  I can’t even think of anything funny to say, there’s only so many ways to say “this probably put me on a watchlist” and I just can’t keep up with the absurd amount of child porn Japan thinks it’s okay to show the world.

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Fruits Basket is basically a standard reverse harem, but I was still going to give it a shot because half of the cast is made up of forced animorphs.  It all has to do with the Chinese zodiac, and they told the story early on which is great (I know it by heart thanks to other shows and chinese restaurants, but I always love when people use entertainment to try and slow the dumbing-down of humanity).  However, they also use the tale for the MC’s first characterization, wherein she says “that poor cat!” with tears streaming down her eyes.  After that it’s just annoying high school bs, dead parent reminders, and exposition disguised as small talk.  I know a lot of people like the original, and I’m sure the MC’s two traits of “hard-working” and “easygoing” could create some very unique and interesting situations, but it’s just not my thing.

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Hitori Bocchi no OO Seikatsu is basically just one long me_irl post, played out by cute girls because Japan.

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Senryuu Shoujo is some dumb slice-of-life romcom cute-girl-doing-cute-things show, absolutely nothing of note besides its merciful 12-minute runtime.

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Midara na Ao-chan wa Benkyou ga Dekinai is the first-person perspective of a girl who is a closeted pervert and a tsundere to the entire world and everything in it.  Also her gremlin mascot-ass father constantly sexually harasses her.  It’s not a horrible concept, and it’s neat to get actual progression in episode 1, but it’s just not that funny or interesting.

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Kono Yo no Hate de Koi wo Utau Shoujo YU-NO starts with the main character lazing about on a roof thinking about what his dead parent dreams mean (hint: you’re fucking sad your parents died, it’s not that deep fam), and then immediate stripper-posing-as-a-teacher panty shot for those who drop a show if they don’t have their dicks out by the 2-minute mark.  One minute later they’re talking about a new transfer student, one minute after that his annoying best friend/sidekick is bugging him to rejoin a club because he’s oh so good at everything, one minute after that they’re introducing the tsundere, etc etc.  I don’t even understand how they crammed that many cliches into a show, especially one that was already crammed full of annoying side characters and clunky exposition.