hungry and partially non-human @star-ving-stray-dog - Tumblr Blog

TW: Weight stats/ED

Name: E

Age: 23

Pronouns: He/Its

height: 162cm

Starting weight (since this relapse): 51kg

CW: 47.1kg

GW1: 47kg

GW2: 45kg

GW3: 43kg

GW4: 42kg

GW5: 40kg (might just stick to 42kg? Not sure yet)

#male ed #disordered eating mention #ed blr #boy ed #i hate eating

skinnitboi

One day I'll be bønėspiii 🪲🌗

skinnitboi

So, this binge and restrict cycle is starting to damage me both mentally and physically. So I'm gonna say something controversial yet brave, but I'm gonna stop weighing myself and just focus purely on intake amount. After my first binge that triggered everything I've gained, and even when I lose again, I just look at the number and spiral, which leads to another binge.

So fuck the scale for now! It's a hassle trying to weigh myself without anyone seeing me. I think I'll up my intake and then slowly bring it back down. Still track everything but put all of my energy into eating healthier food and less of it. I miss the high of my 25-hour fast, I want that back. Wish me luck, y'all

#*guy on the verge of ending it all* 'no I just gotta change this one thing and everything will fix itself #no but for real I think this will help me and it's a new strategy I've not tried before I just...I want what I had back #male ed #disordered eating mention #ed blr #boy ed #i hate eating #£d not sheeran #€d tw #£d blog #€d vent

C/S might be the way to go, I fear (JUST FOR TODAY IF I END UP BINGING! C/S IS REALLY BAD FOR YOU AND I DON'T WANT IT TO BECOME A HABBIT. I DON'T WANT TO ENCOURAGE IT EITHER!)

5ad-4ng3l

Me stepping on the scale at six in the morning without giving the day a chance

I think I'm gonna end up eating like 5,000cals today I want to die 👍

decomposrr

are there any adults / over 18s on here? reply or reblog if so, let's all follow each other ^^

kawaiiibunnii

gonna weigh myself next Monday - I haven't weighed myself since after my binge cause I've been too scared but I've done pretty well at locking in. I think I probs gained but hopefully by Monday I be closer to my smallest weight :)

#hoping pleading praying #also the past days that I've gone back to restricting have been a million times better than when I was binging or eating 'normal'#like when I binge bad things happen. I think it's a sign from the universe or something out there watching me #and since going back to starving and restricting things have been better. It's not just my perception - external factors are different #I already knew this was a pattern that happened to me but I binged anyway and guess what!? Bad things happened!!!#not tagging my shit cause people are just gonna look at my tags and think I'm losing it lmao I swear I'm not!

Wow so just everything is going to shit for me huh? Cool. Cool. That's cool.

#I'm fucking going through it in ways you can't even find on reddit #I was trying to hard to manifest a good day and have positive outlook and yeah nope I don't even know why I bothered at all holy shit #it's like the universe has used all of its power to fuck me over again and again and again as much as possible #I'm tired....really really really tired...#I shouldn't have binged. Bad things happen when I binge and I did it anyway fuck me I suck #never eating again

Oh! One positive (I hope I'm not speaking too soon) is that my mum is out of town and I'm getting her to buy me a fitbit (I live rural so there is no shop anywhere near me that sells one). Just a cheap one but it will track my steps and my burned cals. Improving my step count is gonna be super motivating!

#male ed #disordered eating mention #ed blr #boy ed #i hate eating #€d tw #£d not sheeran

The hell week has followed me into Monday and I'm really fucking struggling at this point. But I'm not gonna binge about it this time, that's for sure!

#male ed #disordered eating mention #ed blr #boy ed #i hate eating #£d not sheeran #€d tw #€d vent #£d blog #anarekcia

butteranaflies

r0tten-pupzz

ironically my ed HAS made me at least a tad bit healthier. I’m drinking water more regularly then in my entire life lmfao

Now I have all this shitty food that I wasted money on that I don't want to eat. Yay.

#as if this week wouldn't get any better thank god its Sunday. begging for next week to be at least slightly better PLEASEPELALSEPPWLALPLEASE #maybe c/s might be the way to go in the future who caressssssss anymoreeeeeeeeeeeee #all my binge food was so fucking disappointing too. i just want my clean food that I can weigh and messure to the smallest bit #why do I do this to myself #eating disorder? nah bitch I'm eating dis order #eating disorder? yeah I think I know her #ok I'll stop now lol

Finally tried to call my national mental health line cause I tried to purge for the first time in like a year and a half (not that I could get anything up. I've never really been able to do it which sucks) and I was on hold for so long I just gave up. Bruhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

(I would like to emphasize that I was NOT calling a crisis line and that I'm in no danger to myself or others!! It's just a general mental healthline, hoping to talk to someone for a few mins. So much for that)

#my country has a real mental health overload. I know cause I've worked in medical for years I've seen it all #but Goddddddddddddddddddddddddd

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hungry and partially non-human