Amanda🌙

18 / Florida

[star-wh0ress]

I haven't been on here in forever omg

[totinos]

ready 2 go.

[communistbakery-deactivated2017]

i sent the bee movie script over imessage to my friend who lives overseas but it didn’t send as an imessage and sent as 315 text messages instead and i’m gonna be charged for international texting for all of them

[fourofthem]

#karma is real and god always protects the good

[alecblushed]

[paracite]

me: I can’t be sad if I’m asleep my dreams: sike!!

[just-shower-thoughts]

If I got a dollar for every girl who found me unattractive, I’d eventually be attractive.

[just-shower-thoughts]

A single piece of corn is technically a unicorn

[jigglypuffsvevo]

[outwiththeoldshit-deactivated20]

Don’t Be That Guy.

[caitlinhill]

Great campaign! Great point!

[cliffordpanties-blog]

signal boosting the shit out of this

[ani-oppa-san]

you can never NOT reblog this

[animal-factbook]

Huskies are a breed of dog known for their PDA and healthy romantic relationships. They have fewer separations and divorces than any other dog couple demographic, due to their frequent date nights and open communication.

(Source: watcher321)

[chickenclubsandwich]

truly a role model 

[garflyf]

i know there are daddy doms, but are grand-daddy doms a thing?

[gotitforcheap-deactivated201611]

if ur a good girl for grandpappy, you can have a werther’s original

[hashtagloveloses]

Burn this whole post

[star-wh0ress]

me: *spots a wasp*

me: i am calm, cool and collected. i will not run. i will not yell.

wasp: *comes closers*

me: i am cALM, c-cOOL AND COLLECTED- I AM RUNNINGn I AM YELLING

[racheldotgov-deactivated2016123]

this pool is jarring against the background of your californian McMansion….splurge on that house but not on an in-ground pool?

[professional-funposting]

That possibly dad individual on the right is so ripped what the heck

[racheldotgov-deactivated2016123]

it’s the laps he does in that pool every morning

[sw-or-gtfo-deactivated20211219]

my bf has many interesting stories and observations from his new job as a 911 operator

my favorite is how meandering people are, even in the midst of a terrible emergency

they respond to “what is the emergency” with “well, the thing is, four weeks ago–”

and then he’s like “WHAT IS THE EMERGENCY RIGHT NOW”

and they’re like “so what happened this morning was, i said to my wife, i said–”

“WHAT IS CURRENTLY HAPPENING AT THIS MOMENT”

“oh i’m having a heart attack”

my second favorite is how specific he has to get sometimes

like, “what is your emergency?”

“i’m sitting in a pool of blood.”

“… is it… your blood?”

“yes i think so”

“do you know where it’s coming from?”

“probably the stab wound”

“have you been stabbed?”

“oh yah definitely”

[lizawithazed]

In all fairness shock is a hell of a drug

[stripedsweater]

[bpdjanedoe]

My English teacher: This assignment is fairly easy! Just write about your happiest moments! :)

Me: my what now