a change in heart

23 · she/her mdni · req's and ask's open in love with the stars

[stardustwannabe]

I wanna write a gut-wrenching angst, just don't know what character to use. This is an attempt in the meantime...

"So what's your favorite color?"

And here you were, on the fourth 'first date' you've been on in two weeks. Never mind the fact that just two months ago, you were having a conversation about your future plans with the love of your life. 'How many kids did you want, if any?' 'House, condo, apartment for our future home?' 'Hey, do you wanna try going vegan for a month?'

You had loved them. They were everything to you, and you thought that you were theirs. But then, as if by magic, it all disappeared. The conversation echoed in your head constantly. The questions, even more so.

What happened? What changed? Did you do something wrong? No, you knew the answer to that one. At least the answer that they told you. It was them, not you. They fell in love with someone else. Not someone better or worse, just someone else.

You turn back to your date, trying to focus on the actual conversation happening, something about what they do in their free time. It was excruciating trying to pay attention. This date wasn't even your idea; your best friend insisted on setting you up. Get back on the saddle and all that. And that's when you heard them. Their laugh. You thought you were imagining it at first. There was no way you were hearing their laugh; you were going crazy.

Then you saw their smile. It's the first thing you saw every morning, and it's the reason you fell in love with them. Only now, it's being directed at someone else. Walking into the restaurant with nothing but love shown in every interaction they had together. Like you never existed, and maybe in their mind, you never did. Maybe the five years you spent together were nothing but a distant memory already.

They saw you. You know they did. Your eyes locked on each other briefly, but it didn't matter. You were both on dates with other people, and clearly, they were just fine with that.

[stardustwannabe]

Something stupid, I don't know where this came from... (sorry for using lover, just trying to keep this as character-neutral as possible right now)

There are moments in this world that make us question whether we've chosen the right path and if we are where we are meant to be. This was not one of them. Looking at your lover dressed in the dumbest duck costume you've ever seen, you knew this was meant to be.

"Babe, you look ridiculous. What on earth are you wearing?"

"You said to get ready for the party. You said it was 'duck' themed," they looked at you confused.

Mind you, it is an early Sunday afternoon in the middle of summer. In no world would you have ever asked for your lover to dress in a furry, or was it feathery, full-bodied costume.

"I think the more pertinent question is, why are you just in a swimsuit? It's not even yellow," they state, unzipping the costume halfway. Again, it's warm.

"No, I said we were going to a 'dock' party. Like boats and beaches? Why would I ever take you to a 'duck' party?" you laugh.

"Well, that makes more sense. It's not like it's Halloween or something. I was really confused when you called me last night." They slowly start to undress from the costume, glad to be rid of the thing in the summer heat.

"Wait, hold on, why do you have a duck costume ready? There's no way you found this this morning."

"I don't, but my buddy had one from last Halloween. Thought it'd get them a date with a girl. It did not, but when you told me about the party, I wanted to do it right and make sure I didn't embarrass you."

"Aww, well, I thank you for trying and going along with it, no questions asked. Even if questions probably would've saved you some hassle," you smile. "Now, let me finish getting ready so we can swing by your place and get you the appropriate attire."

Turning away from them to finish up, there is no doubt in your mind that they love you, and you love them. I mean, who shows up in a duck costume, no questions asked? Someone who is absolutely head over heels for you, that's who.

[stardustwannabe]

Had this idea while watching Enchanted...

"So, you love them?"

"Of course I do, we've been together for five years," they scoff towards their friend like it was obvious.

"Do they know that? Like, have you told them?"

"Yes, I've told them. I mean, I think I have."

"You think you have? So you love them, and you think you've told them this? Have you shown them that you love them? Words aren't necessarily your strong suit, but you seem like an action kind of person."

They look at their friend incredulously at the questions they've been asked. Of course, they love you. You are the sun that shines and the moon they fall asleep to every night. You are their shining star that makes living worth it. So why the hell were they questioning this.

"I mean, I feel like they know. It's been five years, I'm ready to propose and I'm fairly certain that they'd say yes."

Their friend sighs, "All right, what you're gonna do is..."

...

Two hours later, they are in front of your door with flowers and tickets to a dance class for the two of you, dressed in your favorite color. Hoping beyond hope that their friend is right about this. You open the door and are a little shocked, you hadn't planned to see them tonight.

"Hi Babe, what are you doing here?"

"First, these are for you," they say handing the flowers to you. You smile and smell them before looking back up at them. "And I brought you tickets to a dance class so that we can do something together, maybe learn a new skill together."

You are still thoroughly confused, "Thank you, that sounds fun, maybe, that depends what kind of dance class it is. What's brought this on?"

"You know I love you, right? Like it's not a surprise when I say this? And if I were to ask you to marry me, which I'm not, but like if I was, you'd say yes and wouldn't think it was coming out of nowhere?"

You laugh, "Yes, I know you love me. You show me every time you make my morning drink and when you fluff my pillow before bed. The way you somehow always have fresh, warm, fluffy towels whenever I shower and make sure that I'm always home safe no matter what time of day it is. You might not tell me, but you show me in almost everything you do."

They smile. They didn't realize that they had done all these things, they just became routine once they realized they never wanted you to leave.

"Now what has gotten into you? And I would hope that if you were going to propose, it wouldn't be on a random Tuesday night while I am in my ducky pajamas."

"Well, I was talking to, you know what, it doesn't matter who I was talking to, but I just wanted to make sure you knew that you are my happily ever after and I would rather stand on hot coals for the rest of my life than not have you as mine."

"Happily ever after sounds pretty good to me," you say before kissing them. Whatever had been going on with them wasn't important right now. Right now, all you wanted to do was bask in the moment that you knew this was forever and that you were getting proposed to soon. Let's see if they can top their happily ever after speech.

[stardustwannabe]

I'm a bit rusty, so bear with me on this, please...

"Hey, I wanna wake up to you tomorrow."

You turn your head laughing, "You want to what?"

"I want to wake up to you tomorrow. Have that gorgeous smile be the first thing that I see," they say, walking closer to you and effectively pinning you in place against the counter.

You look at the grin that's stretched across their face and laugh again. You had been getting dinner together for the two of you. Something you didn't do often, if at all, but you felt inspired recently and wanted to give it a shot.

"Is that your way of asking me to stay the night? I thought that broke rule number two?"

"It does, but I've already broken rule number one anyways, so I don't think it matters too much what other rules we break now."

You scoff and go to turn back to the chopping you were in the middle of, "Very funny. Rule number one in happily still in place."

They settle their hand on top of yours, halting your movement and turning your attention back to them.

"Rule number one has been broken for weeks. You and I both know that. I was hoping you'd break first and say something sooner, but that wasn't happening, so I decided to take it into my own hands."

You look in their eyes, waiting for any drop of insincerity, yet all you see is genuine and whole-hearted love. In that moment, you know what they say is true. Love can be quiet and steady, it sneaks up on you, and before you know it, what was only supposed to be some fun, turned into the best part of your life.

You move your arms up on their shoulders, locking your hands behind their neck, "Yes, I'd love to spend the night, tonight and every other night afterwards."

"Fantastic," they say leaning in and kissing you softer and gentler than usual. After all, it wasn't just passion and lust anymore, it was long and loving, just as it would be for the rest of their lives.

[stardustwannabe]

I'm 23 and I always feel like I'm out of time. Like my story has been completed before the book even got written. I feel lost in a world that I don't know, surrounded by people who don't know me.

So, I'm gonna do something about it. I'm gonna rant about what's happening in my life, I'm gonna write about things that interest me, and maybe I'll even chat to people who feel as lost as I do.

I'm going to scream into a void because it's always fun to scream like no one is listening.