25. leap of faith
summary: you love stefan, but is it possible to trust him more than you hate damon?
pairings: stefan salvatore x fem! reader
warning: none
word count: 3.8K
previous chapter: table for two
WHAT WAS BETTER than a day under the scorching sun, scrubbing cars until your arms ached, surrounded by a bunch of horny (though thankfully, not touchy) teenagers?
A lot of things, actually.
But at least it was Saturday morning, which meant you had all the time in the world to think. In fact, thinking was all you’d done last night.
After that impromptu dinner with Stefan, you’d gone to bed in a state of bliss, hoping that your worries would be quelled. But as the moon passed through the sky, you stared at the ceiling, a newfound clarity keeping you awake. You were certain that Stefan had nothing to do with Mystic Falls’ recent tragedies. However, one person was the perfect suspect—if you could even call him a person—and that was Damon.
The Salvatores brothers’ dynamic had become so painfully obvious. Damon was a callous monster, willing to hurt anyone if it meant seeing Stefan suffer. And Stefan had opened up about doing things that he regretted, so you imagined that he was torn between wanting to stop his brother but also feeling responsible for his actions.
Learning a little bit more about Stefan made you happy, considering that he kept most of his personal life under wraps. But these late-night conclusions left one question unanswered: where the hell was Damon?
A few days after the incident with Caroline, Stefan had simply said that he’d been “dealing with Damon.” Then he told Caroline that he was gone and wasn’t coming back. What exactly did that mean? Was he dead? Did Stefan kill him?
You didn’t know Stefan as much as you wanted to, but you struggled to imagine him murdering his own brother, at least not in a quick or particularly violent way. Besides, if it was so easy to kill him just like that, why hadn’t he done it sooner?
This entire ordeal felt unsettlingly incomplete. Thank God you’d always been one to tie up loose ends.
Of course, tying up loose ends meant having a car wash date with Stefan, which was more fun than you'd anticipated. Bonnie’s dad decided to show his support by dropping off his car. You’d agreed to do the honors of washing it, but once your arms began to hurt, you and Stefan came to an arrangement: he scrubbed, you rinsed.
Of course, you hadn’t promised that you wouldn’t rinse him. Originally, you’d simply miscalculated the direction of the hose. Once the water hit him, he looked up and laughed with that ridiculously charming smile of his. Then just like that, the idea popped into your head. “Thirsty?” Was the only warning you’d given him.
Even with his vampire instincts, he had no time to dodge the next stream.
You laughed maniacally as he took a face full of hosewater. When you finally lowered the hose, he was drenched. He had shut his eyes to take it like a champ, and when he realized he was no longer under attack, he looked at you with pursed lips. Others might call it mean but you couldn’t stop giggling. You were so loud that some of your classmates turned to you, confused and slightly disgruntled, but none of that mattered when Stefan grinned at you. Stefan was a great secretkeeper but you’d be lying if you said he wasn’t an equally great sport.
“I’m sorry, I had to,” Was the only apology you could give. His wet dark shirt clung to his skin. He pulled it off effortlessly, showing off his jacked physique. You wondered if he always looked like that or if he only became physical after transitioning into a vampire.
As he brought his shirt over his head, his mysterious ring glinted in the sun.
You remembered that Damon wore an identical ring. It was the only similarity they had except for their last names. Surely that had to mean something, far beyond sentimental value.
Stefan went back to scrubbing the car, still beaming despite the strenuous task. Suds covered the hand, slipping between the ring's prongs and stone. You hoped you didn’t sound too suspicious when you asked “Why don’t you take it off?”
“My shirt wasn’t enough?” He teased.
You chuckled. “No, it's just that there's soap getting in the ring.”
He looked at his hand, as if noticing for the first time. “Oh it’s fine.”
You tilted your head, slightly narrowing your eyes, as he went back to washing Bonnie’s dad’s car. You grabbed a cloth and joined him. Even though you had an arrangement that you quite liked, it’d be suspicious to stand there doing nothing while interrogating him.
“I noticed that Damon has one too. Is there a story behind that?”
“Yeah, it’s the, uh, family crest from the Italian Renaissance.” Stefan had a way of letting lies linger. You could tell by his tone of voice that there was absolutely more to the story. After a few more casual questions, he explained that the stone in the center was a lapus lazuli and it'd been passed down through several generations of the Salvatore bloodline.
“It looks magical,” You commented, studying his reaction.
He glanced at the ring, tensing a bit and simply responded “You could say that.”
Ever since you learned what secrets he’d been keeping, it was getting easier to translate his half-truths. You could say that was definitely code Yes indeed, what an astute observation. Please don’t be onto me! And that was all you needed to know. If you had to guess, you would say that the ring had a spell on it, which allowed both Stefan and Damon to walk under the sun. It was an ability that no other vampire had. Stefan had successfully integrated himself into modern society, so why would he ruin his chances with an outdated ring? And Damon was far from the sentimental type. You found it hard to believe that he’d hold on to such an antiquated gem unless his life was literally on the line. And when you found him, you’d be the first to rip it off of his blood-soaked hands. What joy you’d get watching him burn to a crisp underneath the sun.
“You okay?” Stefan asked, raising his brows at you.
You blinked out of your daydream, taking notice of your surroundings. You wondered if your heartbeat had given away your violent fantasy. Stefan didn’t seem scared or even cautious, just slightly confused. Good. The thought of an all-sensing vampire being unable to figure you out gave you comfort. It was strange. You felt like a human but something entirely different at the same time.
“Yeah, just, um…you know, all this talk about you and your family heirloom. It makes me wonder about Damon.”
Stefan’s jaw tightened. His voice was low and admittedly scary when he said “Damon won’t be a problem anymore.”
“Why’s that?” You wondered aloud. Stefan refused to meet your piercing gaze, instead focusing on the car with a vacant look in his eyes. “Look, I just want to make sure that he won’t hurt Caroline anymore.”
“He won’t.”
“How do you know that?” You pressed. He still wouldn’t look at you. What could be so interesting about some damn soap? You played nice long enough, now it was time for some answers. You jammed your hands onto his, forcing him to stop what he was doing and finally meet with eyes.
His long stare communicated what his words didn’t: hope, fear, exhaustion. It must’ve been draining keeping all of these secrets. He didn’t mask his emotions with a smile. Instead, he sighed. “I know that you’re confused and worried that Damon will come back. But can you please trust me?”
He said it like it was the easiest thing in the world, to just blindly offer him trust when he’d really done nothing to earn it. The more you discovered about him, the more puzzled you became. Anyone else would run for the hills. But strangely enough, his request was the easiest thing in the world. It was Stefan Salvatore—a secretive vampire, sure—but an amazing friend who’d let you lean on his shoulder even when you didn’t ask him to.
You’d felt a strong connection to him since the moment you met. But it wasn’t like you were soulmates. The way that you felt about him was something that not even a god or fate could fabricate. It was something all natural yet unreal. You’d always considered Matt to be your first love, but something about Stefan made you not want to hurt him…but also risk being hurt by him. Your survival instincts screamed at you to run away or drill him for more answers. But a quiet, haunting voice begged you let things be.
You feared for Caroline’s safety, but if you were being honest, that’s not the main reason you wanted to find Damon. Maybe it was a control thing, but you desperately wanted to be the one to end him, or at least be there when it happened. It was hard to accept such a violent nature…at least, it was hard for the people around you. But Stefan was asking you to liberate yourself from it, just this once.
You didn’t know you had it in you, but you found yourself nodding. “Yeah. I trust you.” You trusted him more than you should, more than you anticipated, and more than a feeble heart could comprehend.
Your hand was still pressed against his. You didn’t want to let go and by the looks of it, neither did he. You stayed there for a moment, holding eye contact. Stefan was now hovering above you, his hot and minty breath fanning your face. He caressed your hair with his free hand. His eyes darted to your lips. You’d seen hungry vampires before but never this kind of hunger, not even with Ryder. This desire transcended anything physical. It was a craving for something deep and intangible, just pure connection to you, and touch was simply a means of achieving that but certainly not the goal.
You were reminded of the silver necklace dangling past your collarbone. The present look on his face was identical to the one he’d had when he’d given you the necklace. But somehow, over the course of a few weeks, it’d become much more earnest and longing.
Maybe you were an idiot to fall in love with him, but you were smart enough to sense that he felt the same way. You didn’t know when it transformed from a crush to something a million times more intimidating, but this wasn’t something you could easily sweep under the rug.
But you were you, and you were ambitious, so of course you had to try.
“I’m uh…” You withdrew your hand and slowly backed up. “I’m going to get more t-towels.”
You tossed the washcloth onto the hood of the car and scampered away.
As you roamed the parking lot, surrounded by bikinis and trousers and some very suspicious adults, you smashed your palm into your forehead. “Stupid, stupid, stupid!”
You ran your hands across your face and massaged your temples. “What the hell am I doing?” You murmured to yourself. You ducked under the shade, away from prying eyes so you could have your meltdown in peace.
Everyone was here at this slightly misguided fundraiser, trying to save money for a worthy cause. And here you were, panicking over your dumb decisions. How could you let yourself fall in love with him? And how could you question your actions so many times, but keep doing the same thing? You were going insane. You couldn’t even blame this on Stefan, it was entirely you.
For someone so menacing, you could be such a teenager. Sometimes you forgot how young you were. You’d been through so much shit, the kind of nightmares that most adults could never endure. Maybe that’s why you loved Stefan so much. He gave you the peace to get through it but also the hope that one day you could face it. It certainly helped that he had amazing abs and was so easy to talk to. Plus, the boy was a cook! It really couldn’t get any better than that.
Love was supposed to be simple, but that word was almost foreign to you. Every aspect of your life was tainted in complications. Where was this even going? He would never tell you the truth about himself. You’d probably never tell him either. This wasn’t headed anywhere good and if you had any sense, you’d save yourself the trouble.
You took a deep breath. First, you needed to find the towels. Then you’d think about what to say to Stefan.
You found Caroline, Mystic Falls’ very own star planner, lounging on a bench in a pink frilly bikini top and denim shorts, counting the current funds. She seemed very pleased with today’s earnings and you still had about an hour or two left.
“Care,” You called out. She glanced at you, her smile growing. “We’re out of towels.”
“I’ll go get some more,” She chirped, extending the bills. “You mind the money.”
“Yes ma’am,” You teased, taking the cash. She marched off like a soldier going into battle. You took her place at the bench, thinking deeply. You still weren’t sure what to do about the Stefan situation.
As you ruminated on your current circumstances, you found your gaze wandering around the parking lot. You didn’t know why but the hairs on your arms stood. Goosebumps rushed down your skin. Someone was watching you.
You turned to where Stefan was. He was staring at his hand, consumed by his mysterious thoughts. Jenna and her date Logan Fell looked pretty cozy, flirting by her car which you were pretty sure had been washed an hour ago. Matt and Bonnie were chatting away, though about what, you weren’t certain.
Above you, a small voice warned.
You slowly turned your head to the lamppost above, and sure enough, someone was there. It was an eerily familiar crow watching Caroline strut into the school, head twitching, eyes wide and beady.
A crow crashed into Bonnie’s car on the first day of the school. Hours later, it chased you out of the cemetery. Bonnie had her first real vision of it. And now here it was, stalking Caroline? Once was strange, twice was a coincidence, but this? This was a pattern.
You watched as the bird took off through the sky, overhead some trees, and thought maybe you had it all wrong. But then you noticed the direction it was going…right into the school. You started to follow, traipsing through the lot so you wouldn’t draw attention…and Caroline emerged, staring mindlessly ahead, as if lost in a trance. Her bubbly, bedazzled spirit was completely gone. She looked lost but unnaturally focused.
So you did the only sensible thing you could: you grabbed your bike off the rack and followed after her.
◇◇◇
You didn’t know how long you’d been stalking her.
But eventually, the sun began to fade and your legs were killing you. Caroline didn’t seem at all fazed by the long walk. In fact, she didn’t look anything.
This was crazy. Sure, she’d always been super athletic. That’s part of what made her such a great cheerleader, aside from her natural pep and leadership skills. But even Caroline had her limit, and strolling aimlessly through the town for miles wasn’t something she’d ever do for fun, even if it resulted in toner legs.
You wanted to call her name and ask what the hell she was doing…until you realized where you were.
The road stretched into a driveway you’d only seen once, but it’d definitely left an impression on you. Towering above it was a large ancient home, where many secrets and mysteries lived.
The Salvatore Mansion.
This was getting weirder by the minute.
While Caroline approached the door with purposeful steps, you hid in the bushes bordering the courtyard. She stepped inside as if the house were her own, not even bothering to knock or ring the old-fashioned doorbell. You waited in the shrubbery, listening for any screams or terrifying noises, admittedly distracted by questions of who was maintaining such a large property.
You checked the time on your phone. If Caroline wasn’t out in five minutes, you were going to burst in there and drag her out, explanation or not.
Unfortunately for you, she was racing out of the door before three minutes passed. Her cheeks were flushed as she sprinted out of the courtyard, her face contorted with fear. You’d never seen her look so scared in your life. You jumped from your hiding place, eliciting a yelp from her. Normally, she’d be pissed at you for stalking her, but one look at your bike and suddenly you were her savior.
“We have to go!” She screamed. Without a word, you propped your bike up and hopped on. It wasn’t made for two, but you scooted forward to make space and pedaled like your life depended on it.
Once you were at your house, you hit the brakes and jolted forward. You slammed your sneakers on the ground to prevent yourself from flying off. Earlier, you’d complained about the pain in your arms. But once the adrenaline wore off, your muscles felt like they were on fire. You hadn’t been this active in a long, long time.
“Caroline, explain!” You demanded through huffs. Wow, you were severely out of shape. “What the hell was that?! Caroline!”
Caroline flinched and looked around, as if breaking from a trance. Her face had returned to its natural color, and now she was staring at you like she was confused. “Y/N? What’s going on? Why are we at your house?”
“You tell me,” You replied, frowning. Was she playing dumb? If she didn’t want to tell you the truth, too bad. There was no way in hell you were going to let this slide. “What happened at the mansion?”
“What mansion?”
“...the Salvatore mansion.”
Caroline laughed humorlessly. “Why would I be at Stefan’s house?”
You leaned forward, inspecting her. She really had no idea what was happening, did she? “Caroline, why were you running just now?”
“I…” Caroline’s brows furrowed as she strained her mind. “I don’t know. I just felt like I had to.”
“You don’t remember what you were running from?”
“No…”
“Shit,” You whispered. Compulsion. Stefan was at the car wash, you’d made sure of that before you left. He had superhuman speed, sure, but Caroline’s trance started long before he could’ve done anything. This had to be the work of the only other vampire you knew to be in town, the only one who had such a strong hold on Caroline, and the only one who could scare her senseless.
Damon fucking Salvatore.
Your heart sank. You’d wanted to trust Stefan so badly, but clearly he didn’t have it in him to kill his brother. You would have to take things into your own hands. You didn’t care if he knew the truth. Damon was too dangerous to be allowed to live.
Fresh resolve passed over your face. You weren’t a soldier, not by a long shot, but you knew a thing or two about hunting vampires. Your arsenal was non-existent but you were angry and determined, and that was all you needed.
“Caroline, I need you to listen to me,” You said. You saw the confused, slightly panicked expression on her face. You’d comfort her later, but right now you had to eliminate this threat looming over her life. “Stay here. Call your mom if you need to, but whatever you do, don’t go back there. Do you hear me?”
When she didn’t answer, you seized her shoulders, shaking her. “Care, do you hear me?”
“Yes.”
“Good.”
You flung your front door open, hastened up the stairs, and into your bedroom. Without a moment to lose, you ransacked your drawers until you found what you were looking for: an old lighter from your days of smoking weed with Vicki. You stuffed it into your pocket and picked up the wooden chair in front of your vanity mirror.
Your dad had made this with his own hands. He’d always been big on being active and creating things that were useful. And as much as it hurt you to do this, you had to protect Caroline.
“Sorry Dad,” You murmured, even though you knew he’d understand. You slammed the chair onto the floor. The legs snapped upon impact, leaving pieces of wood scattered about. You grabbed the longest, sharpest block you could find and ran back out.
“Where are the keys?!” You shouted breathlessly as you charged downstairs. Jenna had been in the kitchen with Logan, her laughter drifting through the halls, though you’d barely noticed. When she heard you yell, she blinked, caught completely off guard, but tossed you the ring of car keys.
You paid no mind as she followed after you, probably asking you a bunch of questions that you didn’t have time for. You didn’t say anything to Caroline, who lingered by the door, growing more disturbed by the second. She called after you, but you jumped in the car and slammed the door shut.
Your next few movements were almost mechanical. You were driven purely by instinct and adrenaline. This sensation hadn’t overtaken you in months but you’d do anything to save a friend, even return to such a dark place. After tossing the wooden leg in the front seat, you twisted the key into the ignition, peeled out of the driveway, then whisked down the street. You didn’t stop until you were back at the Salvatore Mansion.
Night had fallen. Even the crickets were silent, like they knew what you were going to do and wished to hide from your wrath. You pulled your new weapon under your arm, brandishing it toward the mansion, and braced yourself to attack.
“Here goes nothing,” You said quietly to yourself. You marched down the driveway, ready to kick the door down if necessary. You were only a few inches away when it suddenly swung open.
Stefan stood at the threshold, wide eyes frantic, a wooden stake raised in the air. When he registered who you were, he lowered it, starting to explain…and then he saw the weapon underneath your arm.
For the first time ever, he looked completely thrown. In any other circumstances, you might’ve found it funny. But tonight, you were out for blood.
“I know what you are,” You declared, not even caring how this looked. You were going to do this. He could try to stop you but any attempts would be fruitless. So you lifted the wood higher, held your chin up and declared “And I’m here to kill your brother.”
