you're so beautiful to me. @starinthenightsky - Tumblr Blog

D.

Disappointment really is the hardest feeling.

C.

Crying myself to sleep tonight, again.

I’m so sad this is happening. I don’t know why it’s like this. We are so happy and in love. I wish I could just be how I really feel with him without such a downfall after. Seriously, because I told/acted myself with my boyfriend, I’ve been ignored, neglected & so sad and lonely. Every time I open my mouth I fear his reaction. & he thinks he can’t say anything to me. I never get angry at him when he talks about how he feels. I talk to him about it and always try to be kind about how he feels but I will still be honest and straight forward. And I’m just not allowed to feel anything. This is so difficult to get my partner to understand. I always try and tell him but I don’t think he realises how unconsciously he does it. He’s not trying to actually always turn it around, but it’s his natural reaction and defence mechanism and doesn’t actually realise that it is always the case. My previous relationship I was dating someone who honestly didn’t care about how I felt or what I was going through. He would emotionally abuse me and gaslight me. That scares me so much because my relationship is so happy & healthy and I want to be able to be so so so open and accepted by my partner, but it’s so hard when I fear the response to my feelings. I am actually anxious to cry in front of my boyfriend because he gets angry. 😔

R.

Reading back on my old posts makes me so angry. Fuck ever living like that.

W.

Wow.

I’m so fucking happy with my life.

The point I’ve reached. It’s incredible. I’ve never ever thought I could love life this much.

I have literally done so many incredible things. I can’t believe it.

I want to blog more but happy posts. Not everything has to be sad.

I absolutely can’t wait for my life 😍❤️

I.

I wouldn’t trade what I have now for anything in the world.

O.

Oh my god. I’m so sorry for the. Elect!!

That’s just what happens when you are just so happy and life is just so amazing.

H.

Hey guys!

Just checking in. Hope everyone is doing well and blossoming and loving life.

I am so so so happy. Life is great. I suppose you can tell because I’m hardly on here when I’m happy.

Things are honestly incredible. I’ve never loved myself this much or been this happy. I’m fucking hot right now. I’m so confident and obsessed with myself and it’s actually so incredible. I’ve come such a long way.

I have so many goals this year that I’m so ready to smash.

I’m reading again and writing again which is great!

I’m also determined to be in a play this year.

Everything is just amazing.

I did have a little bit of a sad day today. I felt super lonely. But it’s ok because I made myself feel better immidiately!

Also - IM GETTING A PUPPY ON THE WEEKEND!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!

Tomorrow’s Monday and I’m so excited to start a new week and smash it so hard! It’s going to be really really great.

Lots of love ✨❤️

S.

Soooooooooo i’m going on a date tonight.

I am really looking forward to this. :)

I’ve had such a blessed week with all my privileges and tonight will make it even better.

S.

Sometimes i’ll realize how happy i am and just not even understand it. Like how is it possible that i love life so much? i really just dont let things bring me down.

Its incredible. i am invincible.

So many people have messaged me lately that i dont usually speak to just to say “hey, you seem so happy and loving life lately! good on you!” literally just telling me they’ve noticed me change.

Its awesome because i am a totally different person.

I emit happiness and positivity and im so social and confident.

I literally now give motivational lectures to people and are thinking of starting like a proper speaking career. I just have so much advice and guidance to give people. People now message me and come up to me just to ask me for some motivation and oh god do i give it to them!

LIFE IS AMAZING GUYS! Cannot get enough of it!

I.

I am so happy you guys.

Never in my life have i felt this happy and on top of the world.

I’m just always so happy and loving life.

I stopped taking my anti depressants last week.

I had been on them for 2 years and now im not.

God what an incredible achievement.

I have come so far.

I am SO fit and sexy. and SO HAPPY.

w.

Wow! i have not posted since the 5th of January !

M.

My New Years lover and I have become really close.

Like really close.

What am I thinking?

Hes so sexy. So sweet. We are so fucking great together. We both are just like bam, this hit us out of no where so now what do we do. We really miss eachother.

But come on Steph.

This guy?

SO MANY FACTORS.

But hes so sweet, sexy, mature, ripped, funny, gentle, kind, amazing 😍😍

I.

I feel really super anxious.

I’m not a bad person.

A.

So I ended my year not having kissed anyone new for the year.

The only person that I have kissed and had sex with in 2017 was James.

And then 2018 hit.

I started 2018 in the arms of an amazing man, kissing and making love to him.

What a wonderful way to start my year..

Y.

You know what’s great about everything he put me through?

I know my worth now.

If you ain’t shit babe, believe me I’m telling you that you ain’t shit.

I.

I am so TRULY happy!!

I’m so glad I went tonight! I had such a great time!

Everyone was sooo nice like just complimenting me and being obsessed with me. All the guys were so lovely and I felt so welcome and social!

Got a new nickname GINGER NINJA lol !!

I was definitely feeling myself. Confident and happy and really really content.

Even Saad and I spoke, he said he missed me, probably didn’t mean it but oh well, we did our handshake. It was lovely.

I’m just so happy!

Pray that everyone is safe 🙏🏼

W.

Wow. My whole life just changed in an hour.

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you're so beautiful to me.