vomit mommy

32. pervert studies. you can find me on ao3 @ starvampgnome

[starlitmyre]

[stone-stars]

Visit Original Link

this post but the totally legal audio version

Transcript:

Murph: There’s also-- you notice that there’s a lot of the people waiting in line are uh-- emotionally walled off young men, that are just kinda standing there like “I don’t care”. And as they walk up to him, Balnor goes “Hey it’s me, Balnor! I’m your dad and I’m proud of you!” [Emily, Caldwell, and the audience laugh.] Murph: You see all these dudes just breaking down. Hardwon (Jake): Shit. Moonshine (Emily): Y’all this is beautiful. We can’t disrupt this. Hardwon: Yeah. This is... Beverly (Caldwell): This is really working. Balnor (Murph): This guy’s stepping on my-- this is my thing! Hardwon: And I’ll go-- I'll go talk to him about it! Jake: Hardwon gets in line. [All laugh] Murph: Hardwon gets in line. Hardwon you get to the front. Fake!Balnor: Hey bud, how’s your day goin? Hardwon: (standoffish) ’s alright. Fake!Balnor: Yeah? Hardwon: Why d’you care? Fake!Balnor: Was it a tough one? Hardwon: (long pause) I dunno Fake!Balnor: It’s okay if it was a tough one Hardwon: (increasingly emotional) It wasn’t too bad… Fake!Balnor: Yeah, that’s cause you’re my tough guy, right? [Audience awws and laughs] Hardwon: (emotionally) It was-- it was a tough day, Dad. Fake!Balnor: It’s okay. Tough guys cry. Tough guys cry. Hardwon: (crying) I’m really fuckin’ tough. Murph: He brings you in and gives you a big hug. [Hardwon howl-sobs] Fake!Balnor: For nineteen dollars you can have a gift bag. Hardwon: Wait, what? Jake: Hardwon shakes it off. Fake!Balnor: It’s nineteen dollars for a gift bag. Hardwon: (emotionally) Beverly give him the gold. Caldwell: I give him the shillings. Murph: (laughs) He takes the shillings, um, and you get a little gift bag. There’s some mulch in there, there’s a Bud Heavy-- Jake: Hardwon walks over to a food stand. I can’t strike this man. [Cut forward] Hardwon: That was my first hug from another guy. [Audience laughs] (Real!)Balnor: We haven’t hugged? Hardwon: Bring it in. Balnor: Hey, hey, yeah, c'mon, right? Jake: Hardwon starts crying. Hardwon: (crying) We should do this more.

[starlitmyre]

Gay porn book publisher guidelines are like

[localcrypted]

this video popped up in my yt feed for some reason and. thirst trap tbh.

[avalonjoan]

Love that you’re making it clear exactly what physical demands this job has, but could you possibly, potentially, phrase it differently?

[sternfleck]

My resume

[starlitmyre]

C3ep64 they will not stop woundfucking Calder in the neck. They're baiting me and it's not going to work

[localcrypted]

would love a timeline where jake discovered earnestness while they were still releasing jandas on a regular basis. the world we could have had.

[starlitmyre]

just in case you aren't aware of the murph and jake frenching incident. please watch jake and amir: double date pt 3. there are outtakes also! (the outtakes for double date pts. 3&4 are posted together in the same video on youtube)

*tips my hat solemnly and skitters away*

Oh yes, i have been enlightened. The worst kiss ever filmed and i love every horrible second of it. I am not a J+A scholar and the humor of this era is. Difficult for me. but i do research on occasion to see the many ways in which they were Not Gay for laughs.

[okmurph]

…hot

[starlitmyre]

He sang billy idol AND he panic threw up? Huge

[okmurph]

Hello beautiful <3

[frogsexdotjpeg]

The Kilde twins should have smacked Glen around. Maybe DPed him while flinging ego-crushing insults.

this is actually how they beat glen in the alternate universe where glen gets the helm

[starlitmyre]

idiot angel

[bioloyg]

most realistic thing about ccod is Mitch, the strong sensitive and kind weirdo, pulling the most bitches despite his non-existent charisma

[the-znoze]

im having too much fun

[starlitmyre]

they didn't call darkness man a pervert once and he got kissed twice. the sudden freedom from stigmatization and bridging the gap of touch starvation is going to start a hypersexual phase for him mark my words

[starlitmyre]

vesper x mitch x cody messy angsty cross species supernatural love triangle feat wound fucking 100k word multichap when