Breathe it all in, Write it all out

Sabrina Yusof // 25 // Dreamer https://www.instagram.com/starlitstory/

[starlitstory]

and though you are gone,

let my life be a love letter to you.

— S.Y. // let your life live on in me

[starlitstory]

This empty hope. Locked away fantasies. I have held onto my feelings for safekeeping instead of letting them fade away.

— S.Y. // just in case

[starlitstory]

i bet the grass is green where you stand

unthinking bliss, unwanting hands

i bet the sun always shines

and i’m never on your mind

— S.Y. // i bet you think you’re not on mine

[starlitstory]

i joke that i have written you to existence

but you have always been out there

just waiting to be written about

— S.Y. // i’ve been writing love poems for you

[starlitstory]

back when you pushed me away

said space was what you need,

with oceans between us

do you finally feel complete?

— S.Y. // do you finally feel complete?

[starlitstory]

i hope noone ever feels dumb for loving me

i hope loving me is never thought of as a mistake

— S.Y. // please don’t regret me

[starlitstory]

did you really have to lose me

to want to be a better person?

— S.Y. // why is breaking up with me so inspiring?

[starlitstory]

forgiveness is the exhale of a long held breath.

a breeze that lifts you off your feet.

suddenly, you feel lighter.

— S.Y. // forgiveness

[starlitstory]

just because i am like this

does not mean i am not full of wanting

— S.Y. // wanting

[starlitstory]

all i really needed

was to make it through july

because august would remind me

that old habits never die

— S.Y. // august

[starlitstory]

I LOVED YOU LOUD

AND YOU LOVED ME SILENT

CLIPPED OFF MY WINGS

AND THEN MADE ME A SIREN

FOREVER CALLING FOR YOU

TO CRASH INTO ME

— S.Y. // made me a siren

[starlitstory]

and if i tell you you hold it all?

fissured but still whole

beaten but still beating

my kaleidoscope feelings

my everlasting hope

please be kind

please

— S.Y. // my heart

[starlitstory]

In a world of companionship, it is lonely to not feel lonely when you are alone.

— S.Y. // aromantic

[starlitstory]

a visit from my sadness: i let her in.

she is drenched head to toe,

it must have been raining for days.

i sit her by the fireplace, offer a blanket.

she cries.

her sobs fill the room with sorrow,

the air starts to taste like dread.

i draw circles around her back,

i comb her hair,

i sing her lullabies,

she goes quiet in my arms.

drifts into sleep and a world of nightmares.

i light a candle,

i crack open a window,

i make myself a cup of coffee,

she will have company through the night.

tomorrow she will be dry.

and maybe she will be ready to leave.

but if not,

she is free to stay.

to her, i whisper “there is no rush,

you have all the time in the world.”

— S.Y. // a visit from my sadness

[starlitstory]

and when you sat in front of me all flushed red faced head hung low, i said “scary isn’t it? to not be invincible.” i had broken you. shattered your defences, left a gaping hole in your walls. you; armour-skin boy who strangles love to keep it away. me; tired damsel in distress with rope burns around her neck. all it took was honesty sharpened into daggers and a room with no doors. you don’t know what to do when you can’t hide or run away.

— S.Y. // face your feelings, i dare you.

https://instagram.com/starlitstory/

[starlitstory]

warning sirens in my head

blaring loud flashing red

stop signs in a one-way street

deafened by my own heartbeats

reason stomped and set ablaze

eyes clouded by a burning haze

i can’t hear nor think nor see

i can’t hold back this rage in me

— S.Y. // sirens

https://www.instagram.com/starlitstory/

[starlitstory]

before i discovered i was a being of the sky, i had made a home of the ocean. i was two when i learnt to walk (the late bloomer i was) and i remember the way the ocean’s waves rolled out to greet me. she kissed my toes and moved the sand beneath my feet to cradle my soles. it was love at first sight.

— S.Y. // write about your first non-human love